Is it an insult for men to be asked to babysit?
By jureathome
@jureathome (5361)
Philippines
January 14, 2013 8:53am CST
My sister and I had a conversation about my brother losing his job and trying to apply at their office for part time work. So, I wondered where he'd get money to pay his bills and rent if he's out of job at the moment. Then, I shared a thought with my sister about my brother staying at our place temporarily and help me babysit my kids while I do my online stuff, and for him to not worry about payables while he's also waiting for a new company to hire him. However, my sister opposed because according to her, it wouldn't feel good for him to be doing such task, because he's a guy. It would seem like it's an insult to his manhood?!
But, I never really talked to my brother about it, and I warned my sister not to mention it to him, too. I want to discuss that matter with my husband first, before inviting him in. And, of course, if he can find another way to sustain then that's much better.
For the guys, out there, would you agree with my sister on this?
3 people like this
22 responses
@shiesse (306)
• Canada
15 Jan 13
I am not a man, but I will answer this for my husband. My husband is a stay at home father and I work, he watches our children and enjoys this much more than as actual job outside of the house. He also babysits an additional little girl for a friend. It does not insult him to take care of the children, he enjoys his "job" and would not trade it for anything outside of the home. There is nothing wrong with a man babysitting at all and should not be though of as an insult. That being said, babysitting is not for everyone, regardless if you man or woman, some people are not suited to watch children. It all depends on your personality in my opinion.
2 people like this
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
Wow, your husband is one of a kind. He deserves a treat from you, every now and then. I know of at least two stay at home husbands here in our neighborhood, but they don't watch their kids, nor do household chores. They stink!
@ShyBear88 (59273)
• Sterling, Virginia
14 Jan 13
How is that an insult to his manhood. Man babysit all of the time and it's good for them because women aren't the only ones that are good at it. I totally disagree with your sister. It's not just the job of a husband to go to work all day, he is also responsable for his kids and to watch him. For you brother this could be the time for him to work on his fatherly skills because he doesn't have the full responability as a parent would have he gets to return the kids at the end of the day. I think it's a great idea.
I wouldn't mind a guy watching my child as long as I felt okay with that person in home watching and taking care of my kids I don't care what gender you are.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59273)
• Sterling, Virginia
18 Jan 13
yes, many of my recitatives watch my kids. My brother, my dad, my husbands step dad, and dad and even there great grandfathers watch them from time to time. The cook for them and play with them they wont give my kids a bath but that is because I almost always do
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
Have you had any experience of a guy friend or relative to babysit your kid(s)?
We have this guy helper in the house, but I couldn't really trust him with the kids too much. I'd ask him to look after the baby just for a few minutes, when I need to do something away from her. But, I wouldn't want him carrying the baby. He's got poor hygiene, and I don't want my kids near him.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
14 Jan 13
I think that both men and women can e dependable and reliable babysitters. Taking proper care of a child is not gender related. It is all in the personality and character of that person and how they relate to children in general.It should not be an insult to a man or a parent to have a male babysitter.1 person likes this
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
In our place (philippines), nannies are always of the female gender. The males would never apply for the job or even try it. I don't know if it's a matter of culture, skill or ego.
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
a pleasant day jureathome,
with regard to your topic discussion, i don't see any problem if a man will do the babysitting though most of them got the highest ego. perhaps in your situation, a lot more explanation will be best done. aside from that fact that you will air this concern to your husband first, and that is a good move. anyway, hope you able to solve the matter without any hindrance.
1 person likes this
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
I hope so...but I think , if the nanny gets here first, then all these babysitting trouble would vanish.
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
14 Jan 13
I am not a man but my brother used to babysit all the time and his best friend did too. His best friend enjoyed working with children so much that he is now a teacher! There is nothing wrong with a guy babysitting at all. I think it is nice. =)
1 person likes this
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
Wow, can I hire your brother or his friend?!
Did they do a good job babysitting?
Did they do a good job babysitting?
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
I think she made that remark based on my brother's personality. I did see how my eldest daughter and niece loved to be around him. They would play with him and jump on him. He also likes to spend time with the kids, but I guess he can't endure it for too long.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Wow, you're a very loving father. I love looking at fathers carrying their kids, and sometimes the babies would fall asleep on their father's arms. That's such a wonderful sight.
@fantasticbabe (981)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
to other man who are use to think only women have the responsibility it becomes an insult to their ego as many men pride themselves a husband who are bus working outside. in there situation it becomes reverse when the man have no job like the wife is the only one working so the husband need to take care of their children. some case a man may baby sit if a neighbor or her sibling ask him when they have to work or left the house to buy something so they need to take of the baby temporarily. in a safer side if i am the woman i would not give enough trust a man to baby sit a baby because sometimes they have little patience lead to negligence.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
18 Jan 13
I like you response. It's very practical and realistic. Most men that I know are really not meant for child rearing. Even my husband can only watch the kids for such period of time, but never for a good 24 hours. Maybe when the kids are bigger, then I could be more confident to leave them with their father if I need to be away, but now that they're still small and demands a lot of time and attention, only a mother's touch can satisfy.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
Hi, jureathome! I am not a guy but I would just want to share with you what I think about your proposal for your brother. I think it is not an insult to ask your brother to help you with your kids. I know that it has been "customary" that women do the baby sitting. But since he is currently out of work, I think it is one east way for him to earn a few bucks while waiting for him to be hired. I am sure that it would not be such a burden on his part most especially that he's be taking care of his own nephew/niece.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Uhmm, well, I don't really intend to pay him, but I'd be letting him stay in our house, feed him and have free use of anything he sees in our humble abode.
But, giving him a little allowance, won't hurt. He would also probably need to spend for his applications, and fare going to and from the companies he'd be applying for.
But, giving him a little allowance, won't hurt. He would also probably need to spend for his applications, and fare going to and from the companies he'd be applying for.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
Beggars cannot be choosers , specially when one needs a job.
Anyway, it will not be offending if only her wife knows how to relay the offer properly. And also it will also be wise that you should ask your husband his opinion on getting your sister's husband to babysit for your child.
@marguicha (215148)
• Chile
18 Jan 13
He will stop use his cellphone if he does not have money to pay for it.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
18 Jan 13
Oh yeah, that's a good point. He's on prepaid, like most of us here in the Philippines, though. Even then, there's expenses involved in using a cellphone, but I don't know why he can still afford to pay it.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
It's not my sister's husband, but our brother.
She just said it, based on how she knows our brother. I kind of agree with her, too, that is why I haven't mentioned anything to him or my husband, yet, about that option. Also, I don't know if he can really watch over the kids for hours. He was good with playing with them and carrying the baby when he visited us during the holidays, but it wasn't for too long a time. He also can't get rid of his cellphone for too long.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
Good for you. I don't know if my brother would be willing to do some babysitting for me.
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
There is nothing wrong for a man to baby sit a child , man are good babysitters. Time is no longer like traditional that man are expected to be in work and woman in the house to care for the children. Today is a different one , both can work to augment family's income and if in case husband lose a job , then he can do the house chores and do the babysitting the little kids. Nothing wrong , both should help one another . Family and people around wouldn't not look less but will appreciate a man for doing such thing. People nowadays are broad and practical.
1 person likes this
@reddog25770 (212)
• United States
15 Jan 13
I'm not a man but I don't see how it would be an insult. My brother in law was the stay at home parent while his kids were growing up. His wife tried it for a while but she didn't enjoy it so they switch and he loved being home with the kids. He's also babysat mine several times. They love to stay with him. My husband use to babysit for his nephews when he was younger. He should feel honor that you would allow him to stay with your kids. It shows that you have a lot of trust in him. So he must be a good person in your opinion.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
I think there's just some men who are really fond of kids and are the nurturing type. But, I think not all are like that. My husband, for one, can't stand to be with the kids the whole day. I always doubt his capability to keep up with the kids, whenever I need to leave the house to run some errands. He tries to make me feel assured, though.
@gopalisat (75)
• India
15 Jan 13
Well its about how you start the matter and how you convince him.
Well from my experience i could say i have looked after my nephew for 2-3 hours while all my family member went for shopping.This happened for 3-4 times.
Even i changed his diaper couple of time.
It was interesting , and i do love my nephew , so not at all an issue for me
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
18 Jan 13
You're a sweet uncle.
We're you able to try babysitting for at least 24 hours? Like, perhaps, when their parents are out of town and have to leave the kids with you for longer than shopping time?
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
15 Jan 13
Not a guy, but if you have boys, I am sure your brother would not mind looking after them. It is that perhaps he would resent it if you are asking him to babysit because he lost his job. And babysitting is hard work. You may think that he can look after the kids and at the same time, get on the phone or use the computer to make resumes. But as a mother and now grandmother, we all know that children are a handful even though we love them and you can close your eyes for a moment and the kid will be playing with the toilet paper or throwing his toys down the toilet. Hasn't happened to me, but I remember when the boys got a hold of the markers and went all over the walls.
I would of course ask your husband. It might be being a man, he knows how your brother would react.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
That's right, babysitting is no joke. It's more than just playing with the kids. There has to be a lot of caring and nurturing, too. That's why it's so hard to find a nanny, because I look for qualities that at least gets close to a mother.
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
15 Jan 13
No of course not! it would be an insult not to ask them to babysit! men like babies also nappy change may not be their fort but they soon get use to it. My uncle used to babysit my cousins and he was very good at it.
@IntrovertShy (2780)
• Marikina, Philippines
27 Mar 13
I was wondering too. Why I have not seen men who do the babysitting isn't it? What is wrong with it? For me, either men or women can do the babysitting. It is just the society dictates too much about the gender role in the society that is why men hesistate to do babysitting. The feel that they have taken away their masulinity.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
15 Jan 13
I dont think so.. my older brother used to baby sit my son all the time when he was young. he did a great job. id rather him be w/ my brother than anyone else.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Yeah, family is always the best we can have. We can fully trust them. We leave the kids with my mother and sister on weekends, if we feel like going out for a date, just me and my husband. And, they love having the kids around, too.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
15 Jan 13
It seems that everyone is in agreement, it is NOT an insult to a man to be asked to babysit. A lot of men are really good with kids. My husband would get on the floor and 'wrestle' with them. He would chase them around outside. In the autumn, he raked and piled the fallen leaves on them. They loved that. He taught them how to throw and catch a ball. He read aloud to them.
Your kids probably would love to have their uncle babysit them - perhaps he can teach them some of the skills he knows, such as sports or chess or he could read to them.
Also, it would look good on his resume to say that he willing to look after his nieces and nephews, while waiting for a permanent job. It sure looks better than saying he is sitting around watching TV.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Have you tried leaving your husband alone with the kids, for at least 24hours? I don't know if my husband can survive no mommy to pass the kids to, when they start having tantrums and all that. He is not a very playful type, just like me, so I think the kids will get bored easily.
@wwjwcom (237)
• Hubei, China
15 Jan 13
Man and woman are equal.It's not an insult for men to babysit or cook dinner and something like that.Maybe some traditional persons think that housework should be done by women.However,nowdays more and more women work outside and some even work better than men.So don't say like that and just make the suggestion for your brother in a friendly and normal way.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Well, it's not about women being able to do more of men's job. You're right about more women doing a better job than men. But, the idea here is would men be able to stomach doing a woman's job as basic as babysitting? I'm not sure my brother can take being tasked to watch over the kids, while I work upstairs. He would probably be telling himself, why he should be stuck watching over the kids when he should be up and about looking for a better career.
