What do you do with the photo's of ex's?

@jillhill (37383)
United States
January 14, 2013 12:36pm CST
Two of my kids have been divorced and one is remarried and one is going to be remarried. I have been changing out pictures of my son and his ex wife and I really don't know what to do with them. Since that was part of our lives I have the part of me that says keep them. But my son was unhappy most of the time and so another part of me says to pitch them. My daughter was married to her college sweetheart and that didn't work out but the pictures from her first wedding are awesome..of her and our family. Do you throw them? Or do you keep them?
11 people like this
36 responses
@MandaLee (3741)
• United States
14 Jan 13
I would give your kids the choice. Ask if they want them. You never know. Your kids may want to pass the pictures down to their children.
3 people like this
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I agree with MandaLee here. Well for me, I'm not for throwing away or destroying pictures of past relationship/s because every picture holds a story whether it's a beautiful story or not. However, in your case it would be nicer if you ask your children's opinion or view about their old pictures. They might want to keep it still. :D
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
That is true. They just might want them for some reason.
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
14 Jan 13
My vote is keep them! If any of your grandchildren are the result of the union you want to keep those pictures especially. I think you'll regret disposing them. Into any ones life at least some rain must fall. If you start thinking you are throwing out bad memories what's next? I've got some pictures that if thrown out the family tree would not be what it is. I've got a couple of Great Grandparents who were not exactly shining stars in the family legacy. I also had an uncle who was a known womanizer in the small town (at the time) of Belle Plaine. Then there was the great grandfather who left his wife, the mother of his 7 children because the last girl born had red hair, sighting the girl must have been fathered by the guy down the street (who had red hair) because neither she or he had anyone with red hair in their family?!!!! I could go on and on. You know these pictures were not proudly displayed in anyone's home, just tucked away for the sake of family history.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Yup...good idea to hold on to them.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I think I will keep the photos in a box and put inside a drawer out of everybody's sight. There are people who become a part of us, but not lucky to stay with us forever. The memories are worth to cherish especially if those person remain our friends.
3 people like this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
So true!
1 person likes this
• Canada
14 Jan 13
Keep them in the photo albums, or around, where appropriate. For example, if it's a family portrait with the children, it's appropriate to hold onto it, or (and I don't mind this at all!!!!) even keep it displayed. My husband has a nice pic of him, his ex-wife, their son, his daughter, and her son. It is what it is, a family portrait. They may not be married anymore, but he and she are still parents of a son, and that will never ever change. I don't have an ex, so that's a moot point for me.
2 people like this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
The family photo I have hanging in the living room has my son's ex in it....hopefully we can update our family photo soon.
1 person likes this
• Lenox, Georgia
14 Jan 13
I would keep them away and just put them away in case they want them years from now. That is what my mother did with pictures of our ex's. She just put them in a box away somewhere in case we wanted them later down the road...
2 people like this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Good idea!
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
14 Jan 13
I have a few of mine in my bible here. I will pass them on to my son some day.
2 people like this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Thats a good idea!
• Marikina, Philippines
16 Jan 13
For me, if it hurts, better not to see it. Keep it in a place where no one can find it rather than throwing them in a garbage. Picture are also a memorable to us. That is for me.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Yes....we can't just toss out our memories!
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
16 Jan 13
I'm glad that I happened onto this post, as that is exactly the quandary I've been in. Our son has just remarried. My husband does not like the ex-wife and would like to tear up all pictures with her in them, but she is the mother of 2 of our grandsons. Someday, they may want those pictures. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
And thank you!
@Shavkat (67311)
• Philippines
16 Jan 13
You can just keep it and put in a storage room. There is no reason to bring them out to see by other people. I do think it is proper to keep them in a safe place, a part of your remebrance. Have a great day!
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Thanks!
@velvet53 (17721)
• Palisade, Colorado
15 Jan 13
I keep mine and later will pass some on to my granddaughter. I figure that they were part of my family and to a point some still are as we keep in touch. They are my memories and I have fun looking through them.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
So true!
• India
15 Jan 13
Don't display it, as it might hurt your children s, But surely do keep them, for you were at that point of time. Life has its ups and downs , but don't delete your bad things , just to forget it.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
That is true!
@daDaize (215)
• Austria
15 Jan 13
I would say: KEEP them..but put them in a box and hide that (that's what I did with the pictures of my ex-boyfriends). Maybe later your kids will ask for those pictures or maybe your grandchildren. For example my father had been married before he met my mom...I was quite curious bout the pictures of the mom of my half-brother.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
I probably will keep them.
@airasheila (5458)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi there, with regard to your post, well, i can't remember anymore where are those pictures. though i kept them in a photo album, but the album itself is nowhere to found.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Guess that situation took care of itself!
@pomwango (1355)
• Kenya
15 Jan 13
in my opinion,keep them,they are still memories.the only thing is to keep them far from the sight of the new spouses.let them be a collection kept away just for your eyes only.i dont see the harm since you seem to love pictures.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
So right!
@free_man (7337)
• United States
14 Jan 13
Hi JillHill. If it was me I would keep them but wouldn't put them on display. After all this was a part of their lives at one time. If you don't feel you should keep them then ask them how they would feel about you keeping them. I know after my divorce I destroyed all the stuff I had of him so I wouldn't be reminded of all the pain I went through. But as for my childrens pictures with their ex's I just kept them and put them away for safe keeping cause even though I agreed with my children I still didn't want to miss out on that part of their lives. I did how ever keep them put up so no one see's them but me.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Yes....I will keep them now and save them for the grandkids....great idea.
@ShyBear88 (18618)
• United States
14 Jan 13
My husband grandmother she kept hers of my husband parents not all just a few because she has no issues with my husband dad she has let go of the past. Now my parents didn't keep any photos of my brother's ex wife. They have pictures of my brother and the wife he is with now which we all like. My parents have no pictures of my sister law my brother is married two because well she doesn't like my sister in law and she wishes they where divorced. Now if it where my kids it would all depend on how the relationship ended. If it ended badly and I knew it hurt my child to see those pictures when they come in to my house i would file them and put them a way and get ride of them when I could. If there where ones that I really liked I would just put them in my photo albums.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Good point....they are ammicalble so that's good. No hard feelings so far. Best keep the photo's for the little one.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
14 Jan 13
I would keep a few of them if children are involved. I think that it shows respect to the grands that a photo was kept of an ex in the family. Also if you looked good then keep them.You could ditch the rest
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
For sure!
@ungu89 (2001)
• Malaysia
16 Jan 13
for me, if i already built a new family with other people, i will take all the old photo, put them nicely in a box. i feel it was sad to just throw them away just like that. because we already had a good time too. just we are cannot be together until the end of our life
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
16 Jan 13
I think I will keep them and when I pass the kids can decided what to do with them.
@ungu89 (2001)
• Malaysia
17 Jan 13
owh.. you have kids with him. so i think better u save it carefully later u still need to share with your kids too
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
17 Jan 13
My suggestion would be to keep them especially if there are children involved in either marriage. I would be concerned the day might come when you want to see the awesome photos of your daughter and your family. We all generally learn from our mistakes so even though there are bitter feelings involved, I would highly recommend keeping all the photos which include the ex's. Our daughter was divorced a few years ago and I kept the family photos and the little album we were given. I focus on our daughter and skip even glancing at her ex-husband. There was a time I considered cutting his face out or using white out but thought that would be silly and a waste of time on my part...lol
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
17 Jan 13
I can see doing that! LOL....
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
16 Jan 13
I have pic. Of my ex's and every now and then I go back in time and they were part of it good and bad. My son and I laugh and have a good time. So yes they are all keepers. Liked or not. Boy he sure had hair. Oops not no more. LOL
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
17 Jan 13
So there is a reason to keep them! LOL