it's hard to argue with the elderly

Philippines
January 18, 2013 4:54pm CST
whenever i'm about to have an argument with an older person, i just turn away. it's really hard to argue with them. no matter how hard to explain your point to them, even if it's factual, they just find it hard to accept that they're wrong. they will even see it as a sign of disrespect thinking you're answering back to them.
3 people like this
34 responses
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
20 Jan 13
I agree with you, sometimes it's better to just shut up because everything you say will be used by them against you. They never listen. Sometimes it's better to just say "you're right" and then shut up, then do what you wanted to do anyway. XD
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
well, not all of them. still a few listen.
1 person likes this
• Penrith, Australia
20 Jan 13
I agree with it not being all of them, this is just what I do to my grandma because she lives with us. She's okay with hearing that's she's right and then she stops fussing. :) and if I do something.. Well... It's easier to say sorry than to ask for permission. XD
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
"it's easier to say sorry than ask for permission." i heard this line in a movie i've seen recently. i forgot what movie it was.
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
20 Jan 13
Perhaps you'd have better luck if you had discussions with those older people instead of arguments. Do you even listen to what they have to say? Remember, facts can be manipulated.
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
when i mean fact, it's like an information. maybe they were not updated about a thing and they still try to persuade you they are right when they are really wrong.
1 person likes this
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
21 Jan 13
The longer I live, the more frequently I discover that what I considered to be "fact" is not true. I agree with you to a point. Some older people are very set in their ways and their minds, but give them the benefit of the doubt and don't argue. You'll never convince anyone of anything by arguing..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
i think new thins are discovered everyday with the advancement of technology, etc. and that's where the youth today is really familiar.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
Yup! That is why I avoid to argue with older person because seems their understanding is not broad enough to listen what to say. To explain something is a kind of argument with them...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
yes. that's why i'd rather walk away or just keep quiet because i really hate having arguments with them.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jan 13
aerous I am now 86 andI have a broad understandin of people of all ages okayo and I will not argue with either of you but I will stick to my own point here not all elderly people ar like that so do not generalize about us.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
I'm sorry Hatley, if I hurt you with my comment. I don't really say all because I know there are still old people that is always good as you are.
@Raine38 (9117)
• United States
19 Jan 13
It really is hard to deal with our elders sometimes, it was never easy. But we can only be more patient with them and hope and pray that the people around us will extend the same courtesy and understanding when we are already of that age. Sometimes, they are not really trying to be difficult; they just feel bad or they are confused since their minds are failing already. It is best to do what you, turn away and cool down for a bit. I know that once we have said something out of anger it is hard to take it back. It goes for everyone, not just for our elders.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
i usually try extend my patience since i still love them after all.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jan 13
hi lol you make old people sound like a foreign breed or something, Not all old people are hard to argue with and we dislike being lumped into a slot like senile or old age or decrepit. I could also say its hard to argue with young people cause they think we are old and stupid now abd they always know best.,.So it does work both ways my friends.
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
i never really meant to make you feel that. i love older people. without them, we would be nothing.
• United States
18 Jan 13
I could not find myself in this position with the elderly. I would not feel right because my mother raised me to respect my elders.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (94653)
• Chile
19 Jan 13
I was raised to respect everyone. And it makes conversation posible. Many of my best friends are a lot younger than me. And a couple of them are about 20 years older than me. But I don`t ask them for their ID
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 13
I hear that.
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
i was also raised that way. i also respect elders as long as they respect me also.
• United States
19 Jan 13
not all elderly is like that, sometimes we look in a differant way .. perhaps they may be right and it may be twisted the other way around. then yet it is best not to argue either way. just hear them out and then ask if they would hear you out speak kindly weather they do or not.. life is way to short to not get along..no one knows what tomorrow may bring..it is hard sometimes..but you are in control of your own self..making right choices..maybe they want to see more of the love you have and they are concern..throw some love toward them and it will go along way even the I love you words..know that you agree or not . just try to be kind..I was brought up to respect my elders..right or wrong..it is a good thing to do so..after all you to may be an elder someday and look back and wonder where did the days go because they go by too fast...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
i listen to them. i believe i can learn a lot of things from them considering their experience in life. i just don't want to be manipulated like i'm a child who's wrong all the time.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 13
I understand but we are always a child in an elder's eye and mind. You know yourself and that is what matters. just enjoy if you can and smile and try to have a good day.
1 person likes this
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
19 Jan 13
Not all elderly people will not listen what you are saying. There may be some elderly people who thinks they have more knowledge than the young people and they feel some sort of insult listening to what young people says. But keep in mind that there is no harm in listening to what other are saying.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
i'm sorry if my post sounded like all elderly have the same attitude. that's only in some cases.
1 person likes this
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
20 Jan 13
No not all old people will behave in the way you have mentioned. My husband always make a point to listen to son and daughter before disagreeing anything they talk with him. Even I do the same things. You know many time we ask our son to give some solution on Internet, as we know young generation have got more knowledge in internet then us.
• India
19 Jan 13
hahaha...That is human nature I guess. Everybody thinks he knows enough. The first statement would always be - "We have seem much more life than you" :-) Ya that's right that they have much more experience than us. But the world is changing. Civilizations have changed. Elderly people think that their principles are universally acceptable. But generation to generation, the behavior is changing. People are now-a-days more technically advanced. Social dimension too has expanded a lot in recent years. New generation is more casual. Elderly people have their own set of principles, & we are in a different generation. This is what I call "The Generation Gap".
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
i think different generations have different principles. my grandparents experienced war and now we are free. so things have really changed. the present wants to experience the freedom they have now.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jan 13
hidiluvusabado and deepu I learned to use a computer in my fifties and am still using it now in my eighties so some of us do try to keep up with the new era and we all if not senile can learn every day we are alive.to me this electronic age is fascinating and so much to l earn that its an exciting time to be alive.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
18 Jan 13
Everyone gives us "sr citizens" a bad rap! You have to remember we have been through a lot more than the younger people have and most of us have real medical problems to deal with. If you come across someone you feel is being mean to you imagine what their life might have been like. I think argueing with an older person is just rude and you have to learn how to just walk away from what could be a bad situation. Of course it's a sign of disrespect to be answering back. Would you do that with your Mom, Aunt or Grandmother? I don't think so so just because they are strangers is not a good reason to be rude. I'm just saying....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
i try my best not to answer back. i still respect them and i don't want to put my name in shame.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
23 Jan 13
ctryhnny, please see my comment to yours in the first response. :)
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
21 Jan 13
Elders are not always right but they deserved to be respected always. So in as much as they should be respected you are right in just turning away whenever you are tempted to argue with them. You know what? One day, you yourself will become old and you will understand why elders do act as if they are always on the right side. But for now just keep the respect. If you know what is right then do what is right. Anyway you have the choice to decide for yourself without necessarily arguing with them verbally.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
as long as i know i'm right, i don't really care about what people say. i think the elderly should always be respected because without them, there will be no us.
@ohid2u (145)
• Bangladesh
20 Jan 13
Its really not a good sign you are arguing with the elders.Even if they are wrong,you should let them know it by technically.Thus they can figure out about you as a good person.Arguing with them can lead the relationship with them in bitterness.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
i rarely argue with them because i really don't want to argue with them. i try to avoid it as much as possible.
1 person likes this
@ksktika (271)
• United States
20 Jan 13
yeah you are right, they are stubborn too. maybe it because they feel older than you and feel lots of experience than you. at the end i'm just give them a smile without any argue. we will in that position one day.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
i also want to serve as an example to my nieces and nephews about this. i don't want them to feel that way about me when i grow old. that's why i really want to be open-minded as possible.
1 person likes this
@Sureoi (176)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
That's absolutely right my friend! Every time my parents scolded me for a wrong reason and I tried to defend myself, they won't even listen they just keep on scolding me. Their anger got worse after I defended myself. They always think that they are right and won't accept that they are wrong.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
that happens a lot of time but please don't get mad at them. they are just trying their best to put you on the right path. though most of the time i think they're method is not that acceptable for the youth.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
19 Jan 13
If it is something that they believe in, they are not wrong. Who is to say that our way of thinking is right. We all have our opinions. We just have to remember that. We will one day being doing the same to our kids.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
i want to be a open-minded as possible. i never thought of myself as a know-it-all. i don't think i would ever be like that when i grow old.
1 person likes this
• China
19 Jan 13
Yes this kind of situation can happen to anybody,because usually the older person will think that they have more experience than you so they think that their opinion is right,but if you talk with elderly people in a smoothly way then I think they can still accept your opinion,the way is very important.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
nothing won't be resolved by smooth casual talking. it really is still effective.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
That i just how the elders are. They feel that they know almost everything if not all and it is pointless to be in a debate with them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
yes you will never win in debates with them since most of the time, you will be forced to listen.
1 person likes this
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
19 Jan 13
Why would you want to argue with an older person. Perhaps it is wise to listen. Are all older people always wrong and you are always right? Ummm.... If someone pointed out the facts, are you willing to change your mind and accept the facts, even in the heat of an argument, and when you thought all along that you were right?
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
i'm not saying i'm always right. but i think they should listen to the younger ones as the younger ones listen to them. i would guess there's nothing wrong with accepting you're wrong sometimes. that's why i really don't consider myself right all the time.
1 person likes this
19 Jan 13
E-G-O and P-R-I-D-E these are the two words that keeps their Attitude since they are old it's really annoying for them that someone is younger teaching them and somewhat giving them some lecture whereof from their perspective they should be the one giving those advises as the signs of times like they had more experience than we do as youngsters and they take it as an insult sometimes depending on how we deliver the statement it will be better if we talk to them softly. Well, down the line your right any uncertain situations do not argue with them it ends very sad story ha ha
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
i agree with you. it's great to hear advise from people who have gone through it in the past. but sometimes they are being too bossy pushing you to do things without thinking how you would feel.
1 person likes this
@cupkitties (7175)
• United States
18 Jan 13
I never argue with the elderlies er seniors. whatever we call them these days. I've attempted to debate my dad, but he has this knack for thinking he knows exactly what I'm about to say so he'll always interrupt me... So irritating!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
that's my problem with some of them. they feel like they know everything.
@Mavic123456 (9702)
• Thailand
19 Jan 13
For me after my parents passed I realized that it was awful to answer back elderly. So to my sisters if we have heated discussion at home, I try to point my argument I don't argue with them anymore I can just explain as subtle as I can. and if not understood I backed off. My sisters will be quiet, too and not prolong the confrontation. Maybe this is also brought by our age, since we are now all mature. but I can not be older than them because I am the youngest in the family.
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
we actually have the same method. i just keep quiet or just ignore them.
• Thailand
20 Jan 13
yes, I regret answering back to my parents when i was younger...
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
at least you've realized your mistake and now you regret it. hav you apologized to your parents?