He asked me not to cry but the tears are still there.

United States
January 18, 2013 7:46pm CST
I know I sound like a broken record but I really don't mean to. I am just tired of living here thinking about this girl all the time. I know it will not change when I move. but,I feel like getting in the car and driving to her job. but,that is not going to happen. I made up my mind that I am done with it all. I am just hurting inside and want to hurry up and save my money and leave. we were talking and he asked me why I am moving for real. and I said I need to be away from my daughter and this man. Then he said,I am running and I said no I am not. I am starting my life over for me this time. I am so glad to reach a point that I can even think about leaving. I also told him that no one is going to stop me from leaving after I get my money together. he said,he is leaving with me so that is not a problem. so,i will keep on planning. Is it going to take a life time for this heavy feeling to go away? If this goes away I can get on without the tears and bad feelings. thanks.
4 people like this
12 responses
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
19 Jan 13
It is perfectly normal that you want the best for your daughter and you are sure that she could not choose a worse man. But there`s nothing that you can do about it. She is not going to mind you and you cannot tie her either. So, the best thing to do is to save yourself and your relation with Adrian. And when and if Kay wants to start over herself, I`m sure that you will help her.
3 people like this
• United States
19 Jan 13
I am in need of something no one can give me and that is peace of mind. I am going crazy right now. and I need to hurry up and rid this stress from my life. thanks.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (101852)
• Chile
19 Jan 13
Take it one day at a time. And why don`t you talk about it with your doctor? My own shrink helps me once in a while. Pills help a bit , you know. I am sure that most of our problems are triggered by real things that happen to us. But meds help.
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
Yo now come into a point of facing your greatest enemy, yourself. Your daughter is of your responsibility but she is now responsible and can handle herself then no problem. The problem becomes you, is the man really worth for you and your sacrifices. Think it over. What is best that can be reached by your mind do it.
3 people like this
• United States
19 Jan 13
Your best believe it this man is right by my side when no one else is. so,you can trust he will be right here when this is over with. thanks very much.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
Hi, gifts! So you have finally decided to move away, huh? I can only hope that with your decision, it will give you a peace of mind. I know how much pain you are feeling because of your love for your daughter. But maybe, this is the best thing that you have to do. I don't think that it is being selfish if you wanted to have your own life back. She is older now and she should be able to manage ow to live without you beside her all the time. You have given her everything that she needs and given her the best options and yet she still chose what she wanted. Life will be better. Adrian is still with you to give you the love that you need.
• United States
19 Jan 13
I know he is here for me and that is great. I want to do something on my own but don't know what that is. I don't want to rely on anyone to make things right for me. I am going to be alright in a day or so. I always get down and then lift back up. stupid cycle in my head. thanks.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
19 Jan 13
I have to agree with him you are running, those feelings wont go away until you address them, and get them out.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Jan 13
They have been address the situation is out of my control. so the feelings will go away real soon. it's just taking a little time right now. I think I need to go talk to my therapist but he give such hard homework. I can't think that hard.
@prashu228 (25504)
• India
19 Jan 13
Hi giftsandbags I can understand you feeling , you want to be the best mom for a child and you are trying hard to convince her but she is unable to understand you .I won't suggest you to leave rather stay there and watch her carefully but don't try to help her just be there and wait for the time to prove / take it as a challenge . your daughter will definitely understand the value of you one day , may not be today but for sure one fine day. All the best
2 people like this
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
19 Jan 13
I think you are not running, you just come to the point where your situation with your daughter instead of resolving, it's getting worse right? You did everything you think is right yet she chose differently that leaves you always borken-hearted. So I guess it's right to leave but I'm sure one way or another you will be reunited with your daughter if she's back on her senses. If not, then maybe this what's meant to happen.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 13
I just hope I never have to hear any really bad news when I do finally move in. thanks. very much.
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
19 Jan 13
Solace was offered by way of requesting not to cry.When the tears trickle down the eyes still ,it is sentimentalism at large.All bad feelings are to be suppressed in order to carry life in a smooth manner.
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 Jan 13
Hey, I sense the "broken record" thing too, but that does not give me, or anyone else, the right to tell you to stop feeling the way you feel. I doubt i would act as emotional as you are, but that's not even fair to say, because I AM NOT YOU! We are all going to act in the way that comes naturally to us. It may not lways be the best, but it's us!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 13
Thank you so much for this. I am going to be alright in a day or so. I am moody and it gets the best of me. I want this over with and it will be. I will be up for a little longer and rest my mind. thanks again.
• Pamplona, Spain
21 Jan 13
Hiya gifts, Like most I have had situations that have led me to feel trapped between two rivers so to speak. I have read what you have put I would give it the time you would not give it to make any move for yourself I mean. Your daughter will go on with her life and I think by the sound of it she will be close to you no matter what but then that is what I think not what could really happen. Adrian will be close to you as well. Just think it over take the time to think things over.xxx
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
21 Jan 13
The situations that I've been through in my life are much different than the situation that you are facing in your life with your daughter. However, I do think that there are a lot of similiarities to the way that we feel when we've been through the things that we've been through. With that said, I do believe that you will hurt over this for a long time to come. However, I do feel like there will eventually come a day when you will start to feel better and your trials and tribulations with Kay will not weigh as heavily on your mind.
• United States
21 Jan 13
This discussion is a couple of days old now. Anyway, about feelings. They come and go with your moods and how you react to thoughts about Kay. I would try to go 30 days without fretting about Kay. If she needs you, she knows how to find you. Just practice being alone for awhile. This is an exercise to get you to let go of Kay. She is grown up now and needs to make her own choices. You kind if enable her to keep being a child and running back to you. But she is also grown now and legally she is an adult. She has her needs she wants satisfied and she can't get her grown up needs met with you. So she just comes temporarily to stay with you and goes back to be with Lennie. Anyway, why not make a goal to not initiate contact with Kay. If she calls you, fine...but you don't call her first. You don't have to be mad at her. Just practice letting her go to become the adult she needs to be. Your daughter will always be your daughter, but you know she will tear your world apart too.
• United States
20 Jan 13
You have legitimate reasons for moving. This isn't simply a matter of running away from something; you are running to something--a life with Adrian in a safer neighborhood. For your mental health, you do need some distance from your daughter as long as she continues down the path that she is currently on. Of course, even with distance, you are still going to worry about how your daughter is doing. That is only natural. However, she does not yet seem to have reached the point where she is able to choose to pursue a more positive path in her life. You being nearby is not making a difference in that, and it is not alleviating your pain over the situation.