Divorce Bill of Pinoy Style
By Metatronik
@Metatronik (6199)
Pasay, Philippines
January 19, 2013 10:35am CST
I've watched the Failon Ngayon while ago in which the topic is about the Divorce Bill. They claimed that the process is case to case basis, unlike in other countries that if a spouse doesn't feel his/her partner anymore then they will file the divorce. That is the reason why they call it as Pinoy Style because it is different from the rules of Divorce from another country. I am actually into it because in the first place annulment is a long process in which it could be expensive, more so this is also advantage for women who are in abusive situation. Anyhow there are many cases as well that Divorce are important as I believe especially if one of the couple has third party or having relationship with other person which is also against the law and consider as adultery.
As per the segment shown about the woman who became a battered wife by her husband who is policeman she stated that she really suffered much from the physical assault but still trying her best to sacrificed for it because she is worrying for the future and their child and now that they are separated then she is worrying on how she could explain to her kid that they became separated and the kid is not with his/her father. In my opinion I don't think being belong to the broken family is the problem here but the parenting and the influence of the environment is the issue here. It is more scary for the kid if they will still settle with the abusive husband who will be sure eventually a future abusive father. They must think otherwise the effect of other side if they are going to settle with that kind of person or a man whcih indeed it couldn't be really healthy anymore.
Being complete in family is not always an advantage but there are other importance that must be included of being together and complete. They should always value the morals, respect/dignity, responsibility and a lot more that will keep the family strong. What is the sense of being complete in the first place people are not really good to each other?
I find it ridiculous of stating the effects of being in broken family like their are some teenagers who are having relationship as early as possible which I believe it doesn't have to do with the status in family but of course it is about how parent guided her children.
3 people like this
11 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
21 Jan 13
I agree with you. Whatever a child has become when he/she grows up is dependent on the environment and how he/she was brought up by his/her parents.
1 person likes this
@xtedaxcvg (3189)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
This is not always the case. My dad was once a wife beater, a drunkard, and an adulterous man but me and my brother didn't grow up to be like him. My dad has also changed. He's now a very caring and loving grandfather to my daughter and he's always there for us when we need him. I guess he's trying to make up for the things that he did in the past. I am very proud of him for turning over a new leaf and I'm very proud of my mother for her resilience and fortitude. I am very thankful that they didn't get separated.
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
21 Jan 13
Yes the influence is important for this matter. Because in our case within our relatives, I have cousins who are belong to that category but then they are the ones who are in proper manner, successful in life, have nice kids I we treat each other very well. Unlike other relatives or cousins that are not belong to broken family but then I don't like their attitude for some reason and yet I am wondering if they are giving importance of moral values but it is just about money. So again it is not always about the broken family but on how you influence and being a parent to a kid.
@meumeu25 (917)
• United Arab Emirates
20 Jan 13
Hi,
That will be a really good news for my friend, she was separated from her husband for 9 years now. And her BF wants to marry her already but she can't because she's already married, she wanted to file for annulment but it's very expensive. She and her husband lived together for 5 months only. And after they separated they didn't talk to each other ever again. Her husband is also living with another woman now, and they have 3 kids. Do you know where I can read or see the whole information about this issue? I just want to know more about it and share it with friend. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
20 Jan 13
I have no idea where to consult specifically but if I were you I think you should ask legal advise in IBP that is located in Ortigas here in Manila. I could imagine the complicated situation of your friend and the worst part about it is that she has to pay for the big amount so that she will be separated legally. And for sure the implementation about this bill would be still long process that it will take years before it will be implemented and now it is in the process of being debated.
@meumeu25 (917)
• United Arab Emirates
22 Jan 13
Oh, I thought it had just been implemented, she already ask a lawyer about the annulment process and how much it will cost her. But I'm not really sure if she had gone to the right agency that deals with this issue. Anyway, I don't think she will pursue her plans for annulment if it will cost her a lot of money.
@xtedaxcvg (3189)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
I am against divorce mainly because I believe that whoever the Lord joined together, let no man put asunder. Those people who batter their wives or those who are adulterous are victims too. They might have been products of broken families, or they might have had disturbing childhood episodes. These people are also subject to change and what we should do is create programs that will help these poor individuals as well.
Another reason why I am against divorce is because I have experienced the wonders of forgiveness and repentance. My father was a wife beater, a drunkard, and an adulterous person. He also almost killed me with a pillow when I was little while he was in a drunken rage. My mom would've have given up but she didn't. Look at us now, my father is my daughter's favorite. He's always there for my daughter and he's always there for us when we needed him. He has changed from an adulterous, drunken person to a very caring, loving, and responsible grandfather.
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
23 Jan 13
It all means that you are one of the lucky person who survived with this kind of situation within the family. I understand your decision and stand regarding this matter. However having divorce bill is still a choice and it doesn't mean that an individual will be forced or obliged to file a case for the divorce in any case that the issue between the couple cannot be settled anymore. I also understand of how come the other people or especially men are abusive that some of them can be a product of broken family but then again it is not being a product of broken family that they became violent, womanizer and harsh but depending on how the person learn and influence the moral values, take the challenge and accept the reality. Yes they are victims too but it doesn't mean that the women will be a person who will handle all the sacrifices and agony. Other women are being killed due to husbands that are abusive. Not all women and wives can sacrifice this kind of hard situation, they have the freedom of choice to be away from the men who are abusive. More so they have the right to fight for their justice as a woman as they want to be love, respect. There are also women who are products of broken family as they dream of having complete family when they get married wherein it can be happy with moral values. But that is not always the case to others, there are some who are unfortunate to accomplish their simple goal in life. The reason why there are husbands who are doing this as routine already just because they know how would the wife will tolerate and forgive it or it didn't ever mind about limitations. A person can be still forgiven for the mistakes whether the divorce could be filed or not. Just like the case of Charice Pempengco she had also witnessed during the times that they were still with their father by hurting the mother. Charice was even afraid of her own father to the extent that everytime her mother is giving her a threat that she will be going back to her father then she is afraid and even refusing it. She have already accepted the fact that her parents are separated but then in the end she have still forgiven her father.
@anaknitatay (1335)
• Philippines
21 Jan 13
yes, not all relationships are healthy and who are we to judge whether to people should stay together even if the other one is suffering.
I am all for this as it will give women more freedom.
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
22 Jan 13
My mom told me even Bo Sanchez tell the people that if you are in abusive relationship or situation then you should go away already because it is not healthy anymore.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Jan 13
No all laws that we copied from other countries can be applied in our country. As the only Christian country in Asia we should fit the bills to our culture and tradition. Like the RH Bill it will face alot of screening from our legislative branch. We should not conflict on the faith of our Christian brothers
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
22 Jan 13
As what the Failon Ngayon have stated they said that the most people who are into Divorce bill are the Catholic people meaning the church goers and not the members of the church itself or the people who are into organization or field like Priest and so on. If all people are only valuing the Christianity then I am sure the authority wouldn't force to have this bill in order to protect the other families especially women and children. Divorce is not about the losing value of marriages. Face the reality whether we have this or not, or the annulment is still going on but then there were a lot of separated couples already with new families.
@fantasticbabe (981)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
yes, i also watch it and i really in favor f divorce bill to get approved by both the congress and the senate and finally signed by the president. The modern times really need this awakening and on support of various women issues which are being tackled such as abuses, psychological incapacity and infidelity issues. The divorce makes the legal separation cheap and easier unlike the annulment which could be address as a legal separation but does not allow remarriage. Unlike, divorce where remarriages is allow. In terms of children being affected by divorce whether they accept it or not, having a broken family is a part of reality and not all relationship are perfect some family have suffer enough and the only ultimate solution aside from communication and possible reconciliation where all kinds of intimidation fails, the divorce s the easy way out from a troubled marriages to shorten marital woes and suffering.
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
21 Jan 13
The children who accepts that they are part of the broken family are the ones who have witnessed or experience the worst thing that happened to them while their parents are still together. Example they have witnessed on how their parents fought to the extent that children are being affected like that they were also abused verbally and physically. The ones that usually who can't accept it are the children who were still babies during that time. People must realized that complete family that are together is not always an advantage nor a problem solver. It is not just being complete that we are valuing here but the importance of moral values of individual. If there is competition, comparison and measurement of financial status of individual then this will be the start of emotional agony wherein it has big tendencies that children will also compete to each other instead of helping each other. The must also learn that it depends on the parents' upbringing either broken family or complete.
@rsa101 (37933)
• Philippines
21 Jan 13
I am still 50-50 about this since I have not watch the show. But I think for practical reasons divorce may just be in time. But as I was reading the legal separation and annulment law it is quite similar to divorce already on a stricter basis only. In the case of the battered wife she could have filed for legal separation and eventually elevate it to annulment already since it qualifies already.
If many are worrying about the cost I think those who wants divorce may also encounter the same as they will indeed go through the same process still.
@rsa101 (37933)
• Philippines
21 Jan 13
Well annulment and divorce are synonymous in some sense since both parties are allowed to remarry except that when you are annulled it just means that the marriage was null and void at the start and the legal marriage did not happen at all. While in Divorce your marriage is valid at the start but because there were circumstances that affected the marriage to become unstable the marriage is dissolved by law.
I do believe that it would go through the same process as what annulment does except that you would not need to prove that marriage was null and void but you just need to prove that it is not worthy to be called a marriage at all because of the evidences you have to show to courts.
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
21 Jan 13
I am also worrying about this if how the authority handle this matter if this is again about the money after all same with annulment. I hope it wouldn't be. Though as I understand at least if a person is divorced then he is allowed to re-married.
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
Hello Metatronik, I feel conservative about this issues, some instances, i feel vague because divorce can have it's cons too.I fear that people specially foreigners will use it to be a citizen here in the Phils. reminds me of that chinese immigrant who is engage to a filipino but is a regular at night clubs.
. I agree with the other person that the annulment should have been cheap and not expensive. have a nice day
. I agree with the other person that the annulment should have been cheap and not expensive. have a nice day1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
20 Jan 13
I am also afraid of other side too like how the government will face this matter if this is about money issue again? Though they are saying that they have Filipino version which indeed they have indicated the categories on which it will fall so that the couple are accepted for divorce. I just hope this won't be abusive like in other countries wherein there are woman who filed divorce to her husband because she knows after all the man will be responsible in all finances even if they are already separated.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
21 Jan 13
I think i am pro-divorce, my friend.
Women specially who are in a marriage where there is abuse in whatever form should be given divorce.
I know it will be painful for the family specially for the kids, but when the life of their mother is already endangered as well as theirs too, then it should be the remedy.
Some children would really not want divorce of their parents, because the parents does the misunderstanding discreetly, thus the children do not know the real situation. But when they weigh things up, they will surely agree to a divorce.
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
21 Jan 13
I also understand how painful it is of not having complete family but then it could be more agony if they will still retain the relationship but then their fights are becoming routine which is not healthy anymore that can also affect their children. Children should understand whenever one of their parents have already explained the point of why they need to be separated.
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
22 Jan 13
Exactly my point, those children that were able to witness the hard situation of their parents are most likely the ones who can easily accept that their parents are separated. But the kids that were still babies during the time that their parents are separated are the ones who can't accept that they belong to the broken family. But of course it still depends on the case to case basis.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
21 Jan 13
I think it would only be difficult when the children are small and cannot fully comprehend what's happening to their parents. But once they are grown up, they would understand.
@edvc77 (2140)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
I would not really like a divorce however what if the case is a partner is abused already and the welfare of one's family is in danger. They have points in pursuing the Divorce Bill. Annulment is not for everybody because it is quite costly too. Maybe they should change some rules regarding the cost of annulment if divorce will not push through or not be implemented.
A family must be in harmony however if they are killing each other already it is not a family anymore rather an enemy.
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
20 Jan 13
The problem is the government system that at times it boils down to the abusive expense or money issue again. That was even mentioned yesterday that it is really happening. This is the reason why people should value the morality, respect or dignity to avoid this kind of situation that will end to the point of needing to be separated for some reason. I hope people nowadays should be serious enough in valuing the marriage life if who will be the person that they want to be with in the rest of their lives. I just hope people won't play in relationship by not taking it seriously.
@iluvusabado (2560)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
i am pro-divorce . it will protect the rights of the children and the two parents. i just haven't heard of this pinoy style yet.
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
20 Jan 13
Yeah it was just discussed in Failon Ngayon. Meaning it is not the style that if people just like to divorce then it will be an easy process. I believe they did this to avoid the abusive process of divorce.
