What did she tell me this for?

United States
January 19, 2013 8:55pm CST
I was just thinking about something my daughter said to me about the loser. I asked her was he still in jail and she said yes. and I said ok and then just went on about her needing to care for herself. and then out of no where she said the reason he is living the life he is is because of the way he treats people. I was lost when she said it and still I am lost what was the purpose of saying this if your staying with him.
3 people like this
12 responses
• United States
20 Jan 13
It does make me wonder too why she is with him if she believes what she says. Her boyfriend may be broken. By broken I mean that something inside him is broken. Maybe domething happened that caused him to lead a life if crime. Like, in sure when he was little, he didn't aspire to be a violent criminal.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jan 13
Well,I know his father beat the crap out of jessica all the time. that is his mother. and once we came over her house and she was hiding her arm.n noel put her arm in boiling water. once we came over and he had broken her arm. I heard from someone else that he locked jessica in a closet when he beat her so the kids would not call the police. he also beat lennie senseless more than a few times. she also put lennie out when he was 16 because he beat his mother and lenniewas going to kill him. so,truth be told he has a troubled life from his child hood. I blame jessica for not takeing her kids and leaving. when noel got deported to jamaica. I watched lennies sisters while jessica worked to pay plane tickets to take them to see the father and she packed barrels of food for him all the time. lennie got mad one time and went off and made his mother stop going. so now she only send the girls and does not send food for him. he lives in such a terrible place. I saw the pictures of the house and the kids bathing in barrels on the side of the house. he killed a pig in the street. blood was every where and that is what she sends her kids to see. mind you he got deported for being charged with domestic abuse for hitting her at his job in front of people. she should have let him stay alone and moved on. now she has a new man who they say takes great care of her. for some reason she hates kay and does not believe her son hits on her. so,after loving kay since they were children she now hates kay.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 13
That's so sad Gifts. Lennie learned this behavior from his father, and his mother is in denial. He needs someone to put the fear of God into him. I mean he needs to stop doing what he's doing and respect himself and respect Kay. I don't think he knows how to relate to Kay as a life partner. He sounds like an angry boy inside that doesn't know how to love. My dad was that way. He always had that hurt little boy inside of him that made him abusive. Actually, getting saved and learning he was loved changed him in his older adult years. He really changed into s sweet man. Abuse is a cycle. I hope for Kay's sake that Lennie can get help.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
21 Jan 13
No wonder he acts this way, I would never put my kids in those situations. But many say they can;t leave. i knew a few people who would stay, saying they loved them. A girl I went to school with her father did this, her mothers excuse was for the kids, once they grew up (really helping them - no). But when my friend turned 18 she packed her bags and left (her mother that is), a few years later she is back, saying she is alone. I could care a less if I was to be alone, raising kids on my own, I would up and gone. That is one thing my parents would let me come back home for, or if I was dying from something. Which they ahve said this in the past, and say it all the time (but they they say we know you would probably fight back, and up and leave). I sort of feel bad for him now, he doesn't know any better.
@tiffnkeat (1679)
• Singapore
20 Jan 13
Something a person just needs to get those words out as a form of release and relief. Be the good mother and lend a listening ear. There is no need to read too much into it. Maybe she just need a listening ear or a good shoulder to cry on. If she needs more than that, I am sure she will be direct with you. She's your daughter, right?
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jan 13
Yes,she is my daughter who is living a destructing life with a criminal.
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
20 Jan 13
it's like the expression goes. maybe she is getting old enough to know better, but still to young to care. that's the only thing it can be. you know that people can get used to anything, even if it's something bad. at least she realizes now. the next step is for her to get tired of it and leave.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jan 13
I don't know what she is going to have to deal with in order to get tired. he almost killed her and that did not do it.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
20 Jan 13
Because he treats people horrible, so noone wwants to be near him. It can also go back to his parents, and the lack of parenting.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 13
I was just telling someone here all about his life with his mother.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
21 Jan 13
It's sort of sad to say but being raised in that environemnt you sort of expect them to end up like that. They don't know any better, that is how they were raised, and seeing his mother stayed, just makes him think all woman will stay. He needs to realize this and get help, or else he will eventually go too far.
@jalucia (1435)
• United States
20 Jan 13
Even though she may love him, she may still feel that he got what he deserved. And even though he may not treat her right, she may still love him. What your daughter will realize one day is that even though she loves him, she doesn't have to be with him.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 13
I don't think I will be around when she makes this choice but I wish her the best.
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
20 Jan 13
I would have wished that she had said if he does not change, she would be leaving him. Because if he is treating people badly, he will eventually treat her that way as well. If no one wants to hire him, and he does not want to work, it is no way that she should live with him and support him. It just encourages laziness.
• United States
21 Jan 13
When she got paid on her last job she bought him a pair of sneakers. and he went to a section of her job adn stole a pair of socks and got arrested.
@alberello (4756)
• Italy
20 Jan 13
Well, I do this loser, I've only heard from you. About him though I never expected that he would end even in prison. If you remember well, some time ago I responded to a discussion asking you precisely what he had combined to end up in jail! However, from what I know of such a loser, I strongly recommend you to stay away from him. One that goes in the jail is not a person of good example! But your daughter, after all, what she thinks?
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 13
she is not thinking at all she is making a fool of herself with her choices..
@marguicha (82922)
• Chile
20 Jan 13
I have the idea that she is realising that you are going away, her BF will never be of any help to her and that she is going to be alone. She is discovering maybe that her BF has never treated her decently and that she will need someone that does. I hope that your going away makes her grow up in a way she hasn{t been able to do yet.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 13
I hope she sees before he kills her because that might be what it leads to. she needs to get away for good. but,I am staying out of it.
• United States
20 Jan 13
Perhaps, she is verging on clarity regarding her situation with him. However, she must fully reach clarity and be willing to move forward with her life in order for you or anyone else to be able to actually help her. Until she is willing to step away from him and move on, she is locked into this situation.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 13
I don't know what that will take for her to see. If she keeps going back there is something I am missing. I hope for the best with her.
• Canada
20 Jan 13
I wonder if that was a rather subtle cry for help from her, without wanting to admit that there was a problem. If I were in your position, I'd have asked her the exact same question that you put to us.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 13
I did not want to get into any conversation about that man. I am done with him and her situations. I need the less possible in my life.
• Philippines
21 Jan 13
He has a problem on his basic foundations as a child and nice, somebody was their kept caring for him. She neither love him or pity him or both.
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
Her, mean purpose is only to let you know of her final decision