Should good life come from the child and not parents?

@averygirl72 (12356)
Philippines
January 22, 2013 1:15am CST
I discovered here in the Philippines there are 2 kind of parents, one set of couple starts with stable income and job and they are so conscious of having many children they usually have just 2 kids and they live more decent life. Now, there are lots of parents here who seems to start marriage and family without finishing their studies, have no jobs to start with and no funds to start family. Now this kinds of families struggles all the way and the couple's hope for good life is their children. But the parents should have build a good life before having children. You would see here poor families with up to 12 kids and the poor elder children will take care of the young siblings and will find it hard to move on with life because it is their responsibility to deliver the family out of poverty? Why would parents just start family with no stable job and good life and then the hope for stable life will be the children? This is so reverse and lots of families are like that, kids with no good life because parents start from nothing.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@dee777 (1418)
• South Africa
22 Jan 13
The poor children. None of them asked to be born and should be taken care of by anyone who has love in their heart for children. All children deserves the best. It is a pity that it is the poor people who wants babies - babies they cannot take care off. I see this in South Africa too. It is the poorest communities who have the most children...
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
22 Jan 13
Perhaps they are still thinking like people did in the old days. Some of the children are not going to survive in poverty, so have lots of children, just to make sure that some will survive. But it is not a good way to raise children, it makes them suffer so much. It is sad to see that in this day and age, that there is still so much poverty.
@dee777 (1418)
• South Africa
24 Jan 13
My word. That does not make sense at all. I would imagine have one or two children and make sure you do everything to help them grow up with what they need.
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
I see it as a root of poverty of people, having many children they cannot support. I pity the poor children and also the poor parents who have no readiness and capacity to make life better for themselves and the children they brought in this world.
@Sreekala (18782)
• India
22 Jan 13
I think parents are responsible to take care of the kids. In our country, major part of the people will marry only after getting a job. It is very usual procedure the parents of the bride will enquire about the job of a bride groom before marriage to make sure that the future of their daughter and grandchildren will be safe. Some men may look for working girls as bride to ensure the income for living happily. Same time I have seen some parents do not take proper care of their children even they have a job.
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
Here there are people who marry right away because the woman get pregnant. They so love each other they need to live together right away, whether they finish their studies or not, whether they have or they have no stable job or business. Love will keep them alive.
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
Yes it's true. I don't know if they're having lots of kids because they are uneducated in terms of responsible parenthood. There is a thinking that their children will give them good life in the future, thus pressuring the children. Not all families are like this but most of them are. The family ties are very close but this is one of the disadvantages. The eldest must take care of the remaining kids. I just hope that this thinking will stop and all must be responsible. Parents doing their responsibilities, and children being able to live independently and be responsible parents in the future.
1 person likes this
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
They are simply not responsible parents. When they are responsible they limit the number of their kids to give quality life but since they are not responsible from the start everyone suffers.
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
22 Jan 13
The younger generation of parents are of the category one that you mentioned. Most of them are graduates and have proper job and stable income. They normally have 2 children, one boy one girl. They even went for medical advise to get one boy one girl. Very well planned and even started education fund for their children further studies in the future. The second category are less in Malaysia. The older generation like my mum really go through hardship with more than 8 children and their income barely can cover their expenses. Their children drop out from school and history repeated itself. However, this category of parents is less in Malaysia now. But due to rising cost of living even the modern generation is struggling as the education cost has increased dramatically too!
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
The old generation practice this but the newer generations learned from it. I myself I will not have the courage to start my family from scratch. I want to have enough funds so I can give the best life to my children and good life starts from me not my children. When they are old their money is for them and not for the parents.
@Mavic123456 (7910)
• Thailand
23 Jan 13
It was an old belief in the Philippines, that children make the family wealthy. The more children a family has the "wealthier" they may become in the future. I think this was a true notion of wealth, because the more free education will be given to the children and more free education means the more these children will be able to find good job, or good spouses that may lift the family from poverty. Many children will work in the fields and fields will be more productive... Meaning, another wealth for the family. Anyway, wheel of life once again turned.. and this belief is no longer applicable.. such a hard life we need to survive and poor children always suffer. I'm sorry, it's true. Having children really changes your view on these things. We're born, we live for a brief instant, and we die. It's been happening for a long time. Technology is not changing it much - if at all. Steve Jobs Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
There is no problem to have as many as 10 children if no one will suffer or the couple has a budget. What happens is they cannot control their children and now the money is not enough. So, we all learn to be thrifty to make both ends meet.
• Thailand
2 Feb 13
Ideally yes, but some not really, like us, we all suffered, sacrificed, adjusted, and survived. Now, we are not so rich but we are better.
@dorannmwin (36620)
• United States
25 Jan 13
I think that it is necessary to point out the fact that not all children are planned. For example, my daughter is the result of an unplanned pregnancy and because of the fact that I hadn't planned on her, I wasn't done with all of my studies. However, I do feel like we are giving her a good life. I found a job that I could make decent money with when she was little and I worked until her brother was born. In addition to that, my husband did have a stable job and he has mostly been the breadwinner for our family throughout the eleven years that we've been together. That said, I really do think that parents should think about how many children they would be able to afford to raise. That is the reason that we decided to only have two children of our own.
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
Well, there are cases like yours where they really exert effort to give their children a good life despite that they make some error. But there are others too that just exert little effort, come what may, what will be, will be.
• Indonesia
23 Jan 13
yes, I am agree with you. Parents should have stable income and job before having childrens. If parents don't have stable income and job but having many childrens then it just so sad to think the older children have to quit study and help parents get some money to his/her family food. Never have a child if you don't have stable job and income. It just so unfair for children.
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
It's so unfair, I feel it. It is so dragging. Anyway, when children are born that's it! we just have to face life as it is.
• India
23 Jan 13
Definitely the couples should have a good source of income and stability in their life before having the children otherwise they will be ruining the future of the newborns and themselves also. And sometimes these children with lack of proper education and wrong mindset later becomes a danger to the society by getting involved in the unethical practices for the living. And its not a guarantee that the children will bring the couple out of poverty as there are cases when couples even provides proper education and better lifestyle to their kids and yet their children leaves them later in the life. So you can't be sure about your future but you can certainly improve your present. The couples should be properly settled in their life before having kids so that they both enjoy a happy life even in the later stages whether their children are with them or not.
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
That happens too, the children have no desire to get the family out of poverty and then they got married early too and have lots of children too. Now they are just adding and adding mouths to feed, no bright future, too much stress. Irresponsible parents just raise more irresponsible kids.
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
22 Jan 13
Sometimes things just happen. If it happens with my daughter then I will be there to help her. I don't think that having a family is a bad thing. I was poor when I had my daughter and you know she didn't have the best life but she didn't want for anything either. The standard of life is not measured by the money you have to support them but the love you give them and how active you are in their life.
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
Well, you are right, sometimes things just happen. As if they wake up one day and they have their own family. However, I see the parents do all their best to raise their kids even if they make mistake and lots of children turn responsible because they were raised in poverty and not in luxury. Though there are stories of parents who give their children to other people to raise because they cannot support them. It's just it's better if having children are planned and not out of freak accident.
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
22 Jan 13
I can imagine the situation as you described most families in Phillipines. As you can see, many black and Mexican, just for instance, I am not trying to point fingers here to blame on the people. They usually have huge family to start with, and they simply expect the government to take care of them, life child support, and food stamp to help them raise the children. But as it turns out, ironically, not many of these children turn out to be constructive to the society. As matter of fact, they will have more and more children, and became lazy and lazier, and ask for more help from the government. I don't see the cycle gonna turn out to be good, instead, it puts a lot of burden on a lot of people. I expected President Obama see such problem before he enacted the immigration law to give permission for those Mexican to stay in the United States.
@dee777 (1418)
• South Africa
24 Jan 13
This is what I have seen ion South Africa too. People get children only to receive a meaner grant... In the meanwhile they sit at home getting fat while waiting for another government-handout... this is unfair towards the children. A vicious cycle, because when the poor kids grow up, they become just like the parents...
@Janurmas (636)
• Indonesia
22 Jan 13
Yes. I agree with you that good life comes from established parents. All parents want their children to bring good life in their family. Hoping good life from children can be reality, but the most possible to create a good life in a family is by starting a family with a good economic condition.
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
Yes, it is practically true. When both parents are stable they can send their children to school, they can feed them well, they can support their growing up years but if they don't have finances, they are stuck and helpless.
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
22 Jan 13
People just don't think of planning their future very well. This happens in a lot of countries. I have always told my children - 'don't have kids until you have a nest to put them into.' In other words, make sure you are financially ready to have children and make sure you have your own home for your children. It is so hard to keep up with children as they grow up so fast, so if parents don't have a solid foundation to begin with, then it is quite a struggle to get a solid financial foundation when you already have a baby. People in poverty don't think they can get out of poverty. It's sad but, if they made the effort, studied and stay in school and had a goal to get out of poverty, they could probably get themselves a better job and be better financially.
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
Yeah, financial stability is important in life because the air we breathe is free but the food, the shelter, and everything else comes with a price. There should be a law that anyone should not bore a child unless they reach this income to support a family. It's hard to just depend on faith or chance to survive.
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
Mindless teenagers turns into young, unmarried adults that eventually lead to a life full of misery and resentment. That is the whole scenario. When two adults consent to finally settle down, they should be able to bring up kids that will be provided with a good life. It is not the children's fault if they are brought into a world that seemed to be hopeless. They are just unlucky to have parents who, instead of providing a better life for the whole family, just stopped and waited for the opportunity to come to them. Such waste of time!
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
That is right, they just seem to wait for opportunity to come. They are mindless and not really smart in life. I see smart couples who at least one is very stable financially, and they just have 2 children. The family has a very nice home and a auto and looks healthy. On the other side, a couple started because the woman accidentally got pregnant, their children exceed more than 5 and guess what? the income of one parent is good only for themselves alone? What kind of life they offer? dirt cheap life. The children realized the error of their parents, lived full of sacrifice, work really hard for themselves, when they start to earn and now they are living well, guess what? parents does not want them to marry soon because all the money supply will be gone, see the pattern it so unfair. Get marry and just wait for mercy.
@kotia057 (171)
• Greece
22 Jan 13
Well you are so right. It is really anfair for poor kids. Here in greece that happend to. Some imigrants comes here and leave in a very old and dirty olaces. They houses may have one or two rooms but thei have so many kids! They don't go to school they don't have jobs. They get sick and don't live a long life. I dont understand it.
@averygirl72 (12356)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
That is right. It is unfair for the kids to lived poor because of poor family planning. The parents do have troubles too and that they see their children as burden when they can't figure out how to raise them well.