How many is too many?

Canada
January 23, 2013 6:17pm CST
I am a mother of 2 and I've thought about having more but my two are a handful in themselves. I just wanted to know some of your opinions regarding how many kids do you think is too many to have? I mean back in the day people use to have 14+ kids and a lot less resources than we have today. I know money is a big factor but I know if I was a millionaire I would have tons of children because my boys fill up my life
1 person likes this
7 responses
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jan 13
I think it is just a personal preference. I have 3 children, and if I was better off financially I would love to have more children. But I would never do that with the financial struggles we are having already. I really think it is a personal choice and if others are financially stable and ready to have more children they should. So, I don't really feel that there is a number too big or too small with having kids.
@bounce58 (17527)
• Canada
24 Jan 13
Exactly LMB! It's aside from it being a personal preference, it's also dependent on one's financial capabilities in terms of providing a 'better' future for the kids. I wanted 3, but I guess I'm happy with 2.
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Jan 13
Yeah if people cannot afford to have one child than they shouldn't. If you cannot provide for them, don't have them! I would love to have another child but I would never do that because I know we cannot afford it at all, I would not want to have a child I cannot provide for... Or take away from the children I already have...
• Canada
24 Jan 13
Hey thank you for your response. I definitely agree that it is a personal preference. Once I had my first I use to say one is good enough for me but then my second was an unexpected pregnancy and I thought to myself 'well, now that I'm over one it doesn't matter how many more I'm blessed with at this point' lol. I understand about finances but if I was faced with an unexpected pregnancy again I would have to focus on the fact that children are a blessing, (there are women out there that can not get pregnant and would die for that chance) Just keep faith that everything would be ok and work 10 times harder to provide :)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
In my humble opinion, four(4) is a magic number. Here in our country, Philippines it's a good number if you like to consider your child's education,health and total well-being. You can have a full attention on each child's needs. I don't know if that's true in the Western Culture. Just my opinion my dear. You can always decide what's good for yourself. More is merrier though!
• Canada
24 Jan 13
Thanks for your response :) As many are saying it is true its a personal preference. My grandmother had 7 and did ok so I guess 4 is really good too. Thank you for sharing a bit of history as well. You have enlightened me a bit about Philippine Culture :) That leads to another question, What if all four children are all girls or all boys, does that signify anything or would you just try for another?
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
It's matter of personal choice my dear. This really depends on your financial stability as of the moment. :-)
• Canada
26 Jan 13
That's true personal choice is where its at. I'm comfortable with my two boys for now... I want a girl and my finances are ok right now I will probably try for another in about 2 years but at that time again it will depend on my financial situation. Who knows the way this world works. Thanks again for the response
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
25 Jan 13
I believe two is enough in this day and age. Especially if you don't have the money resources to have alot. You have to remember you need money for their college education and with the prices of a good education going up every year, with too many kids you just won't have it. Unless of course you win the lottery or have a great paying job. I had two girls and it was a handful even with a full time job. My daughter has two girls also and her husband keeps saying wouldn't it be nice for another girl. My daughter is not having it at all. She says no way two is enough.
• Canada
26 Jan 13
Thank you for your response... Yes I agree somewhat that money for school is very important, I have RESP's for my boys so hopefully within 18 yrs that will be enough to get them started or put them through. Unfortunately, my parents did not open an RESP for me so being one of those children I find that a paid education by your parents is a luxury to have, not mandatory. There are plenty of grants and scholarships available to apply for as well. Because your right in 20 years time its going to cost millions to go to school and I'm sure there are not that many parents out there that will be able to afford to send one kid let alone 3 or 4. I've never really understood why school is so expensive myself. I mean the world is in demand of plenty different occupations but you would never see a school accept students absolutely no charge. I actually seen a documentary on Burma and tons of kids are working because they can't afford to go to school (elementary) when it costs $5 US a year per child, this hurt my heart because our country's put billions into war and other unimportant things. This world is really all about money, it's sad, But as they say money makes the world go round.
@ShyBear88 (16898)
• United States
24 Jan 13
For me I don't put money as a factor at all. I'm a mother of two children unplanned but I would like to have 2 more children. Both of my are 18 months a part. Yes they are a handful espeically when one gets sick the other always gets sick but it's worth ever penny, lost sleep to have another baby again in a few years.
• Canada
24 Jan 13
Your situation is pretty similar to mine lol my boys are 16 months apart. I always say there are some serious times but in the end its all worth it. I mean I don't know what I would do without my kids, they've made me a better person. Children in general just find a way of lighting up ones day whether it be by the things they say or something they do or a simple kiss and hug. That one always gets me, I'll never forget this first time my little boy said I love you mommy. I find when my boys get sick they run completely off schedule and then it takes for ever to get them back on it.
• United States
24 Jan 13
I think we can only speak for ourselves in our own lives. There's no magic number regarding this. If you can afford a dozen kids then go for it, but I'd you can't feed the ones you have without using the welfare to do it, I'd think twice about having more, that's just me. I don't want to out a burden on society. I only had one child. I wanted another one but it never happened for me.
• Canada
24 Jan 13
I agree for the most part. I knew a girl who was quite wealthy and lost everything a family breakdown we could say. She had 3 children and had to go on assistance but I do get where your coming from, there are some people that are on it and abuse it and have more children just to bring in a bigger check. Those people I feel are the wrong ones.
@Arieles (2474)
• United States
24 Jan 13
Everyone is different, parents are different and you may get a surprise. I wanted three kids when I first got married. I was pretty adamant that I was going to have three! I ended up with twice as many. I love my kids, I love that I was surprised and I can't imagine life without them. Yes, money is a big factor in having kids, but having been surprised twice with unexpected pregnancies, the fact that I didn't have the money was never an issue. I would never get an abortion. Sometimes we are forced to make decisions that show our real character. Money was never discussed (or the lack of it) and I am happy I was blessed to have six beautiful and loving children.
• Canada
24 Jan 13
Wow!!!! Kudos to you love :) It must take a lot of patience with 6. They often say being rich is not defined by how much money you have its defined by the love of family, friends etc. So I would agree with money not being a factor. In life things normally straighten themselves out..... and we never get more than we can handle as well.
@bounce58 (17527)
• Canada
24 Jan 13
I'm a parent of two boys. One is 12 and the other is 6 years old. Although we have our regular rough patches where they get to whining, and me getting stressed out, I still couldn't deny what absolute blessings they are. And the happiness they bring make me want more of threm! But I'm also realistic, as I want the best for them. In terms of providing for their education and future, I think 2 is just right.
• Canada
24 Jan 13
Yes my two boys are good enough for me. It's whatever we are meant to have at the end of the day. I always wanted a girl so maybe one day in the future I will be blessed with that but I were to never have any more I would be happy as well. They say girls are harder to raise than boys anyway. They also say having boys is great because they will always protect you and you'll always be their #1. However the last part of that one may not be true lol