About my boyfriend

@Zoe520 (61)
China
January 28, 2013 3:47am CST
my boyfriend dating with me for over a year now.i know he loves me very much,but i always mind his past with his ex-girlfriend,and i can't stand the first time he has a relations with his ex-gf but not me.i always tell myself,this is only his past ,i should never go to think,but i can't do that,i love him and i want everything of him belong to me including his past and future~~i know it's my fault,what should i do?
2 people like this
22 responses
• China
29 Jan 13
Ok I think i can understand your feelings. Becasue for a possessive people always appear troubles like this, but i want to tell you :you should trust your boyfriend . If you always care about ex-girlfriend ,sometimes happen a bad things (I think you know what i mean ) so let yourself relax and trust your lover. (my English is not very good so I hope you can understand )
1 person likes this
@Zoe520 (61)
• China
29 Jan 13
I can understand you and thanks for your suggestions,then welcome your to mylot~~
@Aja103654 (5663)
• Philippines
29 Jan 13
It is a waste of time to think about his past and be affected by it. His past is something you could never change. Besides, you never can own your boyfriend, nor can you own his past and his future. Let go of that illusion. If you think that way then maybe you are only obsessed, not in love. Focus on the present and show him you love him. Deepen your bonds and maintain a happy relationship. That should be your focus.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Jan 13
if you want to have a good future with your bf, do not always talk about or ask him about his past because that doesn't exist in the present any longer. you are just making your own problems because of thinking of his past. what is important is you are his present and you are in love with each other, maybe it wouldn't be forever but at least you are together now.
1 person likes this
@srvsn12 (111)
• India
28 Jan 13
Hi,i know its difficult to stop thinking about his past.But first you have to unerstand that he loves you very much and you too.your thinking may create problems between you and him.so, you have to decide what you have to do.If he compares her with you then you have to think about his past and him until no need.Dont spoil the present by thinking of past of him.All The Best...
@gary23 (425)
• India
28 Jan 13
Please stop thinking your boyfriend as your possession. He had a life before he met you and you should always try to make his life beautiful from the day he made you his lifepartner.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
29 Jan 13
men really do not like to be restrained. so don't to be limiting him to get along with everyone, including his ex-girlfriend. in my opinion if you really love him and vice versa. you just believe in each other and keep a good communication between you and him so he know what you want and also you know what he wants. love is about believe and respect.
@Zoe520 (61)
• China
29 Jan 13
love is about believe and respect,i like this sentence,thank you.
• United States
28 Jan 13
I know how you feel. I wasn't my boyfriend's first and sometimes it really bothers me to think he had once been with another girl before me. It's not that I'm jealous of the girl, I think I just get sad that I wasn't able to be his first. We've been together 3 years now and what I usually tell myself is that being his first isn't as important as being his last, because we plan to get married one day. When you think of it like that it won't bother you as much. I still think about his exes sometimes but I try my best to not let it get to me because I know he'll be with me forever and I'll be the last person he's with.
@Zoe520 (61)
• China
29 Jan 13
thank you,and best wishes to you and your boyfriend~~yes,i believe that i will be the last person he's with.
@ayano678 (441)
22 Feb 13
I think you are too selfish, not all of which are owned by a person we must have. act wisely, because he's half-life does not belong to you, you are just part of life is not the whole. you will feel the pain when he went away.
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
17 Feb 13
You have to make a choice. You have to choose to accept the fact that he had girl friends before you. The only other option is to leave him. If you don't accept his past, and don't leave, then you'll be bitter and jealous until he ditches you. And I promise you he will ditch you if you are a crazy girl that complains about past girl friends. So make up your mind. Accept it, or leave him. Don't do the bitter jealousy thing, that will just make you an old complainy women.
@gimong (124)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 13
Nevermind, just be patient everyones has past life no matter it is good or bad the important thing is he start trying abew life ( with you ) from honesty
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
31 Jan 13
You live in the present with him. How can it ever be possible that you can belong to his past when you really can't? I think you should think more of what you can do to make your relationship stronger than thinking of things that doesn't matter now.
• Romania
29 Jan 13
hi Zoe, sometimes i feel the same, i wonder if he loved her more than me or other things...but i also think that if i can't accept him as he is (with all his past)i'll never have him 100%.boys often need their space, they don't like suspicious girls. you should trust him if you have more than a year together and you know he loves you very much.love means trust and acceptance.he is yours now and this is all that matters.sometimes my boyfriend tells me to stop thinking that much and start living.and he's right, we only have one life :)
• Philippines
29 Jan 13
Sometimes one can’t help but to ask some information about their partner’s ex’s however, this is not a good idea. Because you are just digging up your partners past relationship which shouldn’t be a good idea because he is now living in a life where you are with him, so you need not to go over and find his past relationship because it just makes your partner reminisce on the relationship he had before you came in to his life. Don’t compare yourself to your boyfriend’s ex because you and his ex are totally different people and one should not do such act. Remember that the more you over think it, the more insecurities bursts in your relationship.
• Philippines
29 Jan 13
it is just a natural feeling to worry about your boyfriend feelings since if he often talk about his pas girlfriend it may mean many things. the causes may be he truly miss her, just a sort of comparison the way your relationship is going on. this also way of regretting what he did in the past and being his girlfriend you may feel annoy. so every time he talk about his past, you better tell him frankly that he need to change the topic , since you get irritated.
@MsTickle (24966)
• Australia
29 Jan 13
Being insecure and jealous like this shows a lack of maturity so it is that you are not ready for a proper relationship yet. The fastest way to make your boy tire of you is to be jealous and insecure.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
29 Jan 13
Without is past he would not e the man you love today, that is how you should look at it . If you truly love him , then his pass shuould not matter because the present is what you have and the great possibility of a happy future .
@toyota4k (1212)
• Philippines
29 Jan 13
Give him all you have so he can see the difference. Give him what his ex had given him. That's what I meant.
• Philippines
29 Jan 13
Why nor examine yourself before anything else do you really love your boyfriend or you like only the positive not the negative. In loving a person you must respect his past, there must be a complete trust without trust there is no love. Without trust and respect what exist is wants of lust or anything on him beneficial to you. Later if you find someone more special you will realize he is not meant for you.
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
28 Jan 13
I am sorry to say but past is past. It was before you so not of your business. You have a past also.. and in some years what you two have together now will be your past together. So I think you better stop making yourself crazy and live now and build a future together. If you continue like this you will scare him away and soon your bf is your past.
@mensab (4208)
• Philippines
28 Jan 13
the past can't be rewritten. no matter how it hurts us, it requires certain degree of acceptance and understanding. if one is having difficulty of accepting and understanding one's past, then it is wiser to let go of the person than keeping the person while there is hurt in the process. it will take some time before one can truly accept the hurtful past. just let it come.