What to talk?

@allknowing (68916)
India
January 28, 2013 5:51am CST
I am expecting someone who I have not seen for many years. She will be spending a couple of hours with me. I simply do not know what to talk. After so many years exchanging new and views in a matter of 2 hours would be an impossible task. How do I go about it? Do I jot down points on which I wish to talk so that I do not miss out on anything important. I am confused. What would you do?
2 people like this
12 responses
@dpk262006 (56482)
• Delhi, India
28 Jan 13
Hi! You better be the listener when she comes and meet you. Let her take lead and speak as much as she wants. If she stops in between and ask about you then you should continue without a break .
2 people like this
@allknowing (68916)
• India
29 Jan 13
No way dkp. Why should I listen to them? May be those who come from abroad want to flaunt? You think so?
@dpk262006 (56482)
• Delhi, India
29 Jan 13
Let her flaunt and brag..... ......if she has any manners and she is decent she will surely ask about you and will allow you to speak. Else, you could change the topic and even after that she does not stop speaking drop some cold drink or tea etc. on her ....... Lol! (she will run away .... Lol!)
@allknowing (68916)
• India
29 Jan 13
We did talk but we could hardly cover about our life of the last few years! I did not feel the need to drop anything on her!
@vandana7 (66910)
• India
28 Jan 13
The official way of going about it...lol Does it really matter ..going in depth...I think that person doesnt want you to...otherwise you would reached those levels in the first round...and in the first hour. Let the other person reveal anything, if there is anything worthwhile. If you ask, may be you will touch a painful spot..which he or she is not keen to reopen.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (68916)
• India
28 Jan 13
And by the way this is not my first experience - Those who come from abroad they always rush through their visit. What is the point vandana.They just raise your curiosity and leave you there half guessing. But as it is said, something is better than nothing. One good thing they always bring me a gift! I am going to jot down points for discussion!
@vandana7 (66910)
• India
28 Jan 13
That would be a great interview...may be you can record it..lol Anyway..those people who are abroad....yeah..they have such hectic schedule... Funny they dont keep in touch with us through emails or phonecalls, but make it a point to visit us...as if we are only waiting for their gifts.
2 people like this
@allknowing (68916)
• India
29 Jan 13
I am used to these kind of visits. Felt like giving you guys a bit of what I taste. There is no other way but to just to go by the moment and forget it all. You are right too kala. There is absolutely no real connect.. Well said! @vandana - They feel they are doing great by bring gifts.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
28 Jan 13
Had no internet through the day.Has she gone now/ SO , how did it go?
1 person likes this
@allknowing (68916)
• India
29 Jan 13
Today is the day! But kala. I know how it will go. I am used to these kind of visits. Just wanted to know how you guys go about it and feel too. It is frustrating when sometimes we cannot even complete a sentence!
@allknowing (68916)
• India
29 Jan 13
We did talk kala but could hardly cover most of what we wanted to share!
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
29 Jan 13
It is a disappointment when old friends meet and find that there is no real bonding.I have also experienced this and the sense of disillusionment was so painful that it took some time for me to come to terms with it.This was some twenty five years ago when I took special pains to visit a very 'dear' friend , carrying my little child and going about searching for a house where she was a guest.It was a lot of effort on my part then. After that I became more practical and just go by the moment but I don't give too much of heart.Does this person keep in touch with you otherwise or is she 'too' busy to do it?
• Estado De Mexico, Mexico
28 Jan 13
hello friend, its really good to know that you are meeting your friend after many year's,and any one would get confused about things to speak when they meet,so there is nothing to worry about. see if this helps you. First make sure that you give a warm hug to your friend when you meet,its a sign to show how happy you are to meet and also it makes your friend comfortable that you have not changed. Even though you will be running short on time,don't take out topic which you have decided,instead speak about something which your friend is more intrested to share with you,It may happen that you speak of something and he/she doesn't want to speak of it. jotting down points and then talking to a friend is something which will not be appropriate,you are meeting your friend and not person to be interviewed,keep that in mind. speak less as much as possible about professional life about jobs and future,rather ask your friend about old friends and days you spent together,You see nowadays everyone speaks about jobs and professional life but there are hardly anyone who would ask you about your personal life,so try to be her best friend rather being a formal friend. hope this helps Take care Raj
1 person likes this
@allknowing (68916)
• India
28 Jan 13
I will not be her formal friend but I would certainly like to touch upon issues that will give a picture of how each of our lives have panned out and that is what I think where our focus should be. But I have had these kind of visits before and they have all been disappointments. Even if I let my friend start the conversation it would be perhaps on something that she would want to focus on and either way it will not be a fulfilling visit. Thanks for your suggestions. I shall certainly remember to hug and even give her a gift!
• Estado De Mexico, Mexico
28 Jan 13
its indeed a pleasure, Take Care Raj
• United States
28 Jan 13
Awww, that sounds so nice. Does she live far from you? I'm wondering because it would be nice if you can do this again soon, maybe? I think I would tell her right off the bat about how you'll both never get everything said in just a couple of hours and how happy you are to see her. You could jot down some priority type matters which you feel are the most important. It would be nice too if you casually walked through your garden exchanging all your conversation in such a beautiful spot... Just take it as it comes allknowing and enjoy your time with her. You can always exchange emails too if you haven't done that yet. I do understand how you'd like to get everything out because there is so much, but with only such a short time for a visit, it would be impossible. Perhaps she could spend a night one time and you both can talk your hearts out.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (68916)
• India
29 Jan 13
We are used to these fleeting visits Kash. They are always in a hurry as they would have loads of people to show their faces. I am making mental notes of what to say but believe me such visits never satisfy me. Once they are gone there would be no contact again - busy people!.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
28 Jan 13
Just be normal. What would you normally want to know about her? Is she married? How many kids does she have now? Is she working or what? What keeps her busy? How about her husband? Of course, you also need to do your share of giving her an update of your own life, how many kids you have, what keeps you busy now, etc. You can go from there.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (68916)
• India
28 Jan 13
I was just wondering normally a person that close would be in and out of my life but in today's world this is common here for people to leave the shores seeking greener pastures and never return to their country and when they do there would be so much happening with them and us that one will not know where to begin. That is the price we pay for the vistas that have opened in today's world. Two hours is hardly enough to reconnect. All the points that you have enlisted if expanded would take atleast a month - what with exchanging photographs, video clips,starting from the day we wished each other - a whole lifetime!
@else22 (4319)
• India
28 Jan 13
You are right.Sharing so many experiences in just 2 hours is certainly a difficult task.Eperiences are unlimited and time is limited.I can understand your eagerness to share all of your experiences with your friend who has been away from you for so many years.Can't you tell her to stay with you for a day?I hope she too must have a lot of experiences to share with you and she would be as eager as you to share them with you.
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@allknowing (68916)
• India
28 Jan 13
This is not new. I have had such visits before. The conversation goes at a tangent and nothing is said nor spoken that is worth, which results in disappointment.
@chiyosan (30204)
• Philippines
28 Jan 13
Is this someone your close friend? Well if you ask me if put in the same situation i would really be excited to see her/him and then i guess if we were close before we would have a lot of catching up to do, right? we can talk about how she was doing now and what did we miss, perhaps even talk about common friends that we both have had a few news about as well.
@allknowing (68916)
• India
28 Jan 13
She was my neighbour when we were kids. Much water has flowed under the bridge since then. There is so much to show, my pictures, my house, talk about hatches, matches despatches in the family,in the neighbourhood, school life, college life, married life, Ooooofffff... I am already tired and exhausted! Then she will be wanting to talk about her. May be she will bring me a gift which I will open and spend time talking about it! And in those 2 hours we would have just about covered 1% of what we want to tell each other. Any sense?
1 person likes this
@Mavic123456 (13027)
• Thailand
29 Jan 13
It will come. You don't need to make an outline of what you are about to say or topics you want to discuss with. It will look odd. 1. How are you? 2. Are you married.. and so on. If this person is a friend there will surely be flow of thoughts and flow of discussions without you that 2 hours are not enough for your meeting. Relax and be yourself. and stop laying eggs. LOL.. looks like you are pooping with nervousness. hahahaha. relax. you can do it friend
@allknowing (68916)
• India
29 Jan 13
When we met today, there was so much we could not talk. We are meeting after many years. These kind of visits I am used to and so each visit turns out to be frustrating and this was no different.
@jagjit273 (1740)
• India
28 Jan 13
Talk from your heart and talk your heart out. Don't break the eye contact. Everything will go fine and smooth.
@allknowing (68916)
• India
29 Jan 13
For everything to go fine I need months!
• United States
28 Jan 13
When you haven't seen someone in a long while, there is always plenty to talk about--provided that you like the person. Jotting down things is so... pre-meditated. If someone whipped out a list of talking points when I met up with her or him for a bit of a chat, I would find it completely off-putting.
@allknowing (68916)
• India
29 Jan 13
Imagine me looking at the list and starting a conversation. It would be hilarious. I am sure she will wonder what's going on. No. I will not do that but will surely atleast make a mental note of what you say. I want her to know about my accident, our shift to the new place, about my dream house...........Oh no I have so much more to say and all this in just 2 hours. It will take more two months. Never mind. These kind of visits are common at our house and I shall suffer in silence!
@pergammano (7755)
• Canada
28 Jan 13
Dearheart...I can tell you are anxious, so I ask you, why does both of your's lives have to be compacted into two hours? This is a re-uniting visit..the one that open's the floodgates and you will surely have years after this,to share the world's of each other! Let the "stream of thoughts" follow it's own path, and relish in your re-newed friendship! Thank goodness, there is a tomorrow for you both to love and share!
@allknowing (68916)
• India
28 Jan 13
Such things have happened before perga and I am always disappointed. We just about touch the surface of our lives and as you say I would just let if flow but believe me nothing much will be touched upon. I am seriously thinking of jotting down what I want to say Has this never happened to you when you meet someone after years and you hardly do justice to the time spent together?