Can I believe true love anymore?

United States
January 30, 2013 10:39pm CST
I'm a Chinese who just educated from abroad.And I'm a volunteer in my community. Few days ago, I found my one of my female colleague(has a 9 years old son, her husband works in another city and every 2 or 3 weeks he came back once.)had extramarital affair with our boss. The most unbelievable thing is that my boss is over 52 years old but my colleague is just 31.She is one of my best friend at work,and i thought she was keep in love with her husband just like she always said. They cheated thire family,just because they want some irritating sensation. You konw in china, this behaviour can not be acceptted. If only one of thire family konws about this, two family will be mess up. It make me so confused. What would I do! If I get married,Can I make my wife Keep in love with me? If I can't,Why am I going to get married? Juse for one day, my wife betrayed me ?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
31 Jan 13
People do things with various reasons. And not all the time can we understand what their reasons are. If you are good friends with the woman you are telling about, then maybe you should talk to her and remind her that what she is dong is unfair to her husband as well as to her son. If she has problems, she should be able to tell her husband what is bothering her. If she can't open up with her husband, re assure her that you are there to give your time to listen. There must be something wrong with her marriage. Just go find out and try to persuade her to stop her relationship with her boss before something bad happens.
• United States
31 Jan 13
Thanks,but in China telling her I konw the realationship means we won't be friend anymore. And I will lose all my friend's confidence. Maybe what can I do is let nature take its course.
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 13
Do not think too much. It is her personal life which she should knows best. If you are very closed to her, may be as a friend you may advise her. However, be careful on how to get the message cross. Are you supposed to know their relationship? Do not let other people negative experience affect you. You will never know that maybe you will get a very faithful wife and God will blessed all of you with wonderful family life too. I have been married for 20 years now and I do not have any extra marital affair. I am not sure about my husband as he always work outstation / another states at times. However, he is retired now.
• United States
31 Jan 13
I really do not want to know thire dirty relationship. Before all of this I even thought it will only happen in the Jap's dirty movie or some one who's 5 million miles away from me. But now, it happened just around me and really affected something on me. I must do something and let it pass! PS: You have a harmonious family, bless you and your family.
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
22 Feb 13
Dude! here's my advise, the problem of your friend is just an isolated case in which there is nothing to do with the fate itself that your wife or chosen love one will be like that as well in your case. I know you are affected of what your colleague has ever done to your boss and cheating her husband. But then if you have seen the woman who are acting like that then are you going to choose a woman who has problem about her attitude in which she can't be really trusted? Are you already assuming that a woman in one point can betray you just because you are relying that to the experience of your colleague? I was about not to spoon feed you if you can still believe about true love. Believing in true love is not the fact or same as in believing if there is God. You will be the one who will find out about true love if you were able to be responsible in handling your relationship. More so it is when you are going to face the challenges, accept the personality of the partner that you have chosen. If you tend to sail on the two rivers then do you think you can define the true love there? It is in your decision of your actions that can define true love. Dude just change your point of view about women, true love or having relationship. Seeing your colleague who have cheated her husband doesn't define that other people especially wives can cheat to their husband too or vice versa. Now if the challenge came that your girlfriend or wife have betrayed you, then analyze it as well, my question here is how are you going to handle that kind of situation? How are you going to settle this kind of problem? You know in other cases there are women who are cheating to their husbands just because of the reason that they are being maltreated, hurt physically or encountering violence. Then their choice is to cheat just to escape from harm. Then are you going to do that with your future love one? Of course not. There are different cases why women or even men are cheating though not all are reasonable but at the end it boils down to the WRONG DECISION.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
1 Feb 13
True love exist for those who believe in it and those who seek it. Those who have given up on it are at a loss and I pity them. There are a lot of people out their who give love a bad name. Don't be affected by them. Stick to your beliefs! Don't give up! Your friend and boss are doing something very wrong. Live it up to their conscience. I suggest you don't interfere it will only cause problems. Only they can fix their problems. Oh, by the way, whether in China or in other countries, this cheating is unacceptable and frowned upon. Of course you can make your wife happy. You be careful who you choose as your partner. If she loves you, you should not really worry so much. Just do your best. You are scared of things that have not even happened yet. I see no point in fearing what might come ahead. The best thing to do is prepare for it and find a good person who you will love forever and who will love you forever. It's not easy, but be brave.
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
31 Jan 13
Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Well it is such a nasty thing to hear about your female colleague and i think it is quite normal to see female colleagues having relationship with their male colleagues or bosses in spite of the fact that they are married. I think she is breaking her trust and loyalty just for the sake of her job. If her love for her husband an family would have been so strong then she would have never done this. What say?
• United States
31 Jan 13
She's still in that relationship and seems realy enjoy it. Looks like no feel of guilt.
• China
1 Feb 13
So you mean now you are in USA and your workmate and your boss are not Chinese at all? But actually this kind of phenomenon is so normal in our society,but,pls just have a little faith,and there are so many good girls in this world.