I'm Kinda Envious

@MoonGypsy (4615)
United States
January 31, 2013 2:48pm CST
my sister in law has a child, but has zero responsibilities. she is living with this guy who does EVERYTHING for her, including take care of the child. she also has her mother living there with her that will do the same thing. so, all in all. she has no obligations, but still has the luxury of being parent. this kind of makes me a bit mad and envious. i have two children. although i have help from my husband, we still have to take care of our kids ourselves. we have no one to just drop all our responsibilities on. i know i am wrong for feeling this way, but sometimes i get so tired. sometimes i get tired of doing thing that i don't want to do all the time. i want to sit around and do nothing but be on the internet like she does and still have my kids taken care of and living with me....for free! sigh. if parents don't want to be parents, they should have never had kids. now, she is planing to have another one to dump on everybody and she doesn't even take care of the one she has now. that's why i don't let her call me on the phone to talk me to death. i HAVE responsibilities. i take care of my own kids.
3 people like this
16 responses
• United States
31 Jan 13
I think it is great that hse has the help she has raising the child. kids need all the love and care they can get. I am sure she has more free time because of this and that I am glad for as well. I know how hard it was raising kay on my own. but,I would be just as happy as I am trying to be now. My sister had my mother and my brother and I am glad for that too. she has three kids and it was a blessing that the two kids father took such good care of them.. they did not want for anything growing up because of him. they are older now and he still does for them. I would wish my sister the best because no matter how easy she has it and I did not. the blessing is for the kids who did not ask to be born. I am sure your sister does something for her child. I can't imagine her home just letting the child grow without her nurture and care. I just can't see it. take care.
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
31 Jan 13
welcome back gifts. it's hard to be happy for someone else when you are under so much stress. another thing is that you don't know my sister in law. she is the laziest thing i have ever met. she barely takes care of herself. all she does is mess off all that free time she has on facebook. sorry, i think that if you have a child, you should raise it yourself. i went over there to visit once. she was asleep in the bed at 12 noon. everyone , including her bf was up and so where the kids. the boyfriend fed the kids and the mom got her dressed. when my sister in law finally woke up she said, "Did anyone feed my baby yet?". the nerve. she even looked at me, like she was expecting that i would do it. i was on vacation. why didn't she get up and feed her own kid? see, that's the stuff i am talking about. she is just dogging it.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 13
when her daughter does not come to her with issues she will feel the strain. I would hope she could wake up while the child was up and tend to her. she is going to get it one day..
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
1 Feb 13
It's good for the kids that they have other people to take care of them. I guess it must seem like your sister-in-law has all the time in the world because she has all this help. My husband does a lot around the house, and if I let her, my mother-in-law would move in and do most of the child minding. Sometimes people just are that supportive without being asked, and it's fortunate for her that she has that support. It must be frustrating for you when you have all of these responsibilities and she has more help.
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
26 Feb 13
yes, it is very frustrating for me, because it's not fair. that's why i don't allow her to take up all my time on the phone and facebook. she can afford to sit on her but on the phone all day, i can't.
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
31 Jan 13
When I had my first child, we were still living with my in laws. I also wasn't taking too much responsibility on my child coz he grew up either staying in the room of my parents in law or with my two other sisters in law. If they are not around, there was a nanny to take care of him. But after a year, we moved out of their house and we're on our own. It was hard at first coz I was't used be a hands on mom to my kid, but eventually I managed.
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
26 Feb 13
i can't wait until she has to be a parent on her own. she will miss all that free time she once had. knowing her though, she will find her way out of parenting again.
@andak2007 (3230)
• Philippines
31 Jan 13
hi dear, i know how tiring kids can be and with all the responsibilities at the house, it can be so tiring and you burnt out. Why don't you ask your mother or a friend to take care of your kids for two or three hours so that you and your husband can go out on a date? Especially now that hearts day is fast approaching. Eating out and having a nice chat with your husband for just a couple of hours can do wonders to your soul and even to your marriage. You get to appreciate your children more and loving them more. That is what i do when i get burnt out. Do not focus yourself nursing that envy you have over your sister in law, it will eat your soul out.
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
26 Feb 13
i am not nursing it, but it is causing me not to like her very much. envy can do that. i am alright with that though. i don't feel like it's hurting me any to envy her.
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 13
I actually don't think she is the lucky one. Because she has everything handed to her she will never know what it's like to work hard for anything and if she ever ends up on her own she will have SO many problems surviving... My cousin has things the same way. Her mother takes care of her son all the time for her to go out or to work part time. Her mother feeds the baby and changes him even when she is home just because my aunt is so used to doing everything for the baby. But in the end, my cousin is very immature and does not know how to be a good mother because she has everything done for her. I think she is at a disadvantage to be honest with you. I learned how to be a mother by DOING it myself, all of it. But I don't need any help being a mother now, why? Because I learned from my own experience! I do everything for my kids and I know I can work if I need to. I can do it on my own whenever I have to and I will...
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
27 Feb 13
one of these days, she won't be able to just put off her responsibilities on someone. something will come up and she will have to handle it herself. boy! is she gonna have the surprise of her life!
@arpazia (191)
• United States
26 Feb 13
A support system is always nice to have.. that being said, I could never ever have someone take care of my child ( sahm) Why be a parent if you aren't going to care for them?! No, you aren't wrong for feeling this way, there is no right or wrong way to feel! I know someone just like your sil and shes pregnant again! jut dumps her poor babies on everybody else! she left her newborn with my bil( not the father) for almost a week straight! NEWBORN! Its ok to need a break momma and your frustration/jealousy is justified!
@bellis716 (4807)
• United States
2 Feb 13
I don't know about you, but I preferred to take care of my children myself. You called the woman in question your sister-in-law. Does that mean she is your husband's sister? I asked because you did not indicate that she is actually married to the guy who does everything for her. If she is not married, it seems to me that it would make her position a little precarious, or am I too old-fashironed? If she is your husband's sister, that should make her mother your children's grandmother. JUst thinking.
@edvc77 (2143)
• Philippines
1 Feb 13
That's life. We really have own destiny and that is her lot and your lot and everybody's lot. We just have to do what alloted to us and fulfill our missions to our family and with other people.
@vivek19 (219)
• India
1 Feb 13
See, it's you and only you who has to care for your children. No one will come from outside to do that. Millions of people do that and they like it too. Your sister in law is not enjoying the fun that one get in doing parenting. She is just running away from her responsibilities. I hope you would have understood what i want to tell you.
@lsjapdoit (652)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 13
Feeling envious is humane, just don't get too carried away. Everybody has his/her own family to take care of. You take good care of your family your way, your brother and sister in law their way. You and your brother have a good relationship, that matters most :)
• Philippines
1 Feb 13
You know what, its normal for a hardworking mom like you to feel that way. We all know how big the responsibilities of a parent are and it takes a lot of sacrifices. For us to stay focus we need to be happy for what we have or what we do. Some people might have all the riches in the world to the point that they dont need to work hard but its still the relationship between you and your family that matters. Just stay strong and always remember your kids are the greatest blessing and for sure when you get old, they will take care of you the same way you do with them.
@tiffnkeat (1679)
• Singapore
1 Feb 13
Caring for your kids is a blessing. Do not be envious. Everyone has their problems. You just don't know hers. Being envious will lead to bad things. Enjoy your lot and the rewards will come in due time. Persevere.
• Philippines
31 Jan 13
I think your lucky of what your doing. Parenting a child is not an overnight job it is something that is molded by the passing of time. The memory of a child is very retentive sooner or later you will harvest the fruit of your labor. Nobody want to be just a part of her own. Do you want ? in the days to come you will the 2nd priority of your child. Give thanks for all the blessings. Your envy is the thought of the devil. To served your dearest family is the happiest moment of your life and I no reasons for you to be tired.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
31 Jan 13
MoonGypsy It's understandable to be envious while you are struggling, but just remember..the grass is NOT greener on the other side. Each of us have our challenges and tribulations..no ones life is free of all heartache and suffering. Your sister in-law's time will come and who knows what hardships she will face. In the meantime be happy for your health and strength to care for your kids..they will be better off from all the attention and love you give them. Besides..the years pass quickly and a time will come when you are not so busy with your children and even might long for the days.. Bless you and all the best!!
@Archie0 (4671)
31 Jan 13
Oh well i know how you feel. I felt like this a year ago when my dumb friend use to have a boyfriend who was ready to even wash her feet. He was her dog and she could take him anywhere. She use to spend his money on herself, he always bought all fancy items, never broke her heart. He always called her and there was this everything so perfect and my story was one way to betrayal. But my guy left me 8 years ago i never made any relation after that, never felt like believing anyone. I know this feeling it feels like all the good things on them and bad is just on us as if we are the only one to bear all that. But sometimes it might be the other way round, may be she must be having a hard time?
@celticeagle (114537)
• Boise, Idaho
31 Jan 13
Some people just have all the luck. I bet if you had all this you would become bored and wish things were back to normal. In the end you will be happy you raised your child. Let her do her thing but believe me at some point it will come back to haunt her. She is really missing out on alot by letting someone raise her child for her.