What should you do with a jealous friend?

Kenya
February 1, 2013 3:20am CST
I have had this girlfriend for the past year. She used to compliment me when I wear something nice at work and I would return the favor. Late last year she started making negative comments. I invited her for coffee with biscuits on a Saturday morning, she told me that she did not want the biscuits in case she becomes big like me. On Monday, I came to work with my hair well made, she did not make eye contact the whole day. What would you do if your friend started behaving this way?
4 people like this
20 responses
• Indonesia
1 Feb 13
Maybe you can start to think whether there was any your action has hurt her in any way without you realized it. If you think that nothing you did has hurt her, then I think she's really jealous of you. It's hurtful to have a friend behaving that way. But be strong and always be yourself without affected by her behavior
• Kenya
1 Feb 13
Thanks randomarts, I know for a fact that I have not hurt her, I am the one who has been giving a lot in this friendship and I am just disappointed that she can act this way. she is pretty and does not need to be jealous . Thanks for participating in the discussion.
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
1 Feb 13
Didn't you ever try to ask her what seems to be he problem for behaving such way? Maybe there are some issues that she is dealing with and find it hard to share it with you. Have time for her and ask if she wants to share something with you.
• Kenya
1 Feb 13
Hi Jenny, I see your point, but it does not make sense to hurt someone who is supposed to be a friend because someone is hurting. A genuine friend can be remorseful, if they hurt another without knowing. This is not the case with her.Thanks for participating in the debate.
@waflay (2727)
• Nairobi, Kenya
1 Feb 13
It shows she just started noticing a threat in her life! Negative compliments are so painful, especially made by a close friend. This lady is just jealous of you. Maybe, you got something she wanted the most and she wants to frustrate you to lose focus in life. As a friend, she should have been somehow careful when talking about your weight, but she intentionally said that to annoy you. Moreover, she did not say utter a word about your hair do! I think she was your best friend for a reason that did not materialize, now she has set aside her pretense face and her real image has emerged. Well, it is up to you decide if you wanna end this friendship or continue as if nothing is amiss. She has already made a move and she will persist to unstable your moods, just to see you unhappy.
• Kenya
1 Feb 13
I agree with you Waflay, I believe that a friend should not hurt another. I do not know how to pretend, I have been avoiding her but it is difficult because we work in opposite offices, different companies though. Thanks for participating int he discussion , I appreciate your feedback.
@ARIES1973 (9503)
• Legaspi, Philippines
1 Feb 13
Hi favouredmost! Well, if you are that close and suddenly she started to behave differently, maybe you should try to consider also the things that you might have done. One thing to win back her attention is to give her something that you also want say a hair clip that you like. Buy two so that you can both have the pin. Have a nice day!
• Kenya
1 Feb 13
Hi Aries, I know beyond reasonable doubt that I have not hurt her in any way. I make coffee for her just because she works in a close office and she takes the opportunity to insult me. thanks for participating in the discussion.
@yume11 (183)
• Romania
5 Feb 13
You're adults,so I think you should invite her to talk somewhere in a peacefully atmosphere, where you could ask her what happened and if you're willing to, what you can to do repair your friendship or what you can do to help her if something happened to her. But before doing this, you should think at your actions too, maybe , without wanting it you said something that hurt her/her pride, and that's why she's saying those things.
• United States
5 Feb 13
Maybe she thinks you did something, even though you haven't. It is also possible someone else may have talked in her ear and told her a falsehood about you. If you are good friends then asking her if something has upset her should not be an issue. You may found out something is bothering her.
@Pegasus72 (1904)
4 Feb 13
I didn't see anything above that would say that she was jealous, maybe something else is going on.
@MsTickle (25007)
• Australia
4 Feb 13
Be the grown up. Either ask her what has happened to explain the way she is treating you or realise she is fickle and not a friend at all and ignore her. Bottom line, is she a true friend or not worth bothering about?
3 Feb 13
don't mind your friend she is so insecure about herself.
@babyanna (1217)
• China
2 Feb 13
Hi,favouredmost~ Hmmm, that's kinda mean to say. And it seems to be a very dramatic change. Have you ever tried to start a compliment? Maybe she wants more attention. Or maybe she has gone through something unpleasant and she's trying to take it out on you. If you do value this friend, probably you can ask her to "knock it off" and ask her what is really going on. Hope everything will go well between you and her.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
2 Feb 13
Hmm, if someone feels negatively about you, well, you can't do anything about their feelings, it's best to not let this affect you. Your friend will feel what she will feel and there is nothing you can do to change that. She will have to accept it in herself that everywhere there will always be people who will be better, richer and prettier than she is and that is totally out of your control.
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
I think you have done something harm to her that you are not aware of it. Just talk with her and ask why is she like that with you. If you do not have the courage in telling in front of her then a text message will do also. It is awkward when you go in the office and you just walk right in front of her not talking with her.
@edvc77 (2143)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
Just continue to be good to her. However if she still behave that way then you should stop befriending her. A friend is someone you can trust and accept you for who you are. Better find a true friend.
@Aja103654 (5663)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
Ignore it or confront her for it, it depends. This friend doesn't sound a like a good one, she's childish, I wouldn't care much if I lose a friend like her. Why would I bother?
@dandan07 (1908)
• China
2 Feb 13
I do not know you are male or female. If you are a man, I think she may be love you, when you are in good dress, it is easy for you to catch other girls attention, which makes her feel uncomfortable. That can be a thing out of her control. If you are a girl, your good appearance maybe draw her lover's attention or make her be looked down upon by other people. So she gets angry on you. If you are not in the above situations, I think you do not need to take care of her behavior, just dress what you like. Even she is your friends, she does not have the right to decision how you dress yourself.
@toyota4k (1212)
• Philippines
2 Feb 13
Be observant. Are there some things she might want but can't say straight to you? Do you date? Take her out and make sense.
@TLilly12 (1230)
• United States
2 Feb 13
This is not your friend, she never was your friend, she was just some one, that wanted to get close to you, to see how you live, and the thing that you buy for yourself, and then talk badly about you, cut this person loose.
@Mavic123456 (7931)
• Thailand
2 Feb 13
I will just let it go maybe. Wait for her to settle her problem. Keep quiet and if she talks to me I will talk to her since I have no problem with her. if she did not come back to me... then, I will just miss her..
@CarraC (70)
• Canada
2 Feb 13
A year is not enough time to know how well of a friend you have. That would just be getting to know someone, making a new friend because you're new somewhere. They start off nicely and the more people they get to know, they will give you the back seat. But the negative comments were not necessary....Either she's jealous of you or she wants to get rid of you...You deserve better, you don't have to unfriend her, just keep your distance.
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
1 Feb 13
Is it your girlfriend or a friend? With a girlfriend you have a relationship. So if this is your girlfriend I would think she is not interested in you or feels ashamed about you (probably because some people did make remarks about her being with you). If she is a friend I would ask what happened that she suddenly is stabbing you in the back. I doubt this has to do with being big or slim or thin. I think this has way more to do with jealousy indeed. It sounds like you have way more self esteem, are satisfied and she isn't. Enough reason to be jealous of. What to do? If no respons, honest answer I would not consider this person as a friend anymore. Nobody needs a friend who loves to stab you in the back or make you feel miserable in the end.