I REALLY AM a nice guy.....

@mommyboo (13198)
United States
February 4, 2013 10:32am CST
... and ladies, I want you to tell me what ELSE needs to go in the list next to 'nice guy'. My top choice is sense of humor, next on the list is competent, next is stable. There are so many guys I know who complain they are nice guys but they still aren't getting anywhere. I believe they need a listing of what else they should be realistically on top of 'nice'. Have at it girls, and be blunt and honest. This may help a lot of men in the process! I also think these bear repeating - steady job, not living with parents or other individuals (unless you are independent and the other people are just roommates) secure in yourself and not likely to get or be suspicious of your other half's friends, lecture her on who she can and can't be friends with, pore over her fb, read her text messages, etc.
3 people like this
9 responses
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
Okay then, I'm also hoping that by the responses here, it would make some guys wake up and learn. I agree with the things you wrote above. Indeed, those are important points to regard a guy as 'nice' A nice guy would: 1. respect everyone, especially the girl he loves 2. he is not possessive and jealous 3. he is secure(not only money wise but with his self) 4. he is not sensitive to being called gay(LOL, this is my opinion, a guy who is not pissed of with being called gay is someone who is confident about his sexuality, women love confidence) 5. Yup, he should be confident but not arrogant 6. he is kind to everyone 7. he is independent and respectful to his parents 8. he values his friends and family, and choose the right people to call as friends 9. he listens to people, he must be a good listener 10 he should be able to make his own decisions 11. he keeps his promises 12 he abides strongly by his own principles but is also open minded ah, my post turned out long.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
7 Feb 13
and a good long post it was ! I agree with your list!
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
7 Feb 13
Hehe, make sure to gain as many qualities from there as possible.
@MissPiggy (1751)
• Indonesia
4 Feb 13
My guy: -Does he has a sense of humor? Yes. -Is he competent? Yes. -Is he stable? Yes. -Does he have a steady job? Yes. -Does he live with parents? No. -Does he check my text messages? No. This is the most important: Is he really nice? Well, sometimes he is, sometimes he's so not!!
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
5 Feb 13
Sometimes I think I know too many opposites.... really cool guys and ones who are bordering on narcissistic and mentally ill lol. The ones who are good are really good, and the ones who are bad are horrid. Like that rhyme about the little girl with a little curl in the middle of her forehead lol.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
6 Feb 13
I suppose if you are only looking for a boy-friend, then that makes since. But if you are looking for a husband, most of those relationship requirements are part of the deal. You go into a marriage without thinking your spouse can look at your facebook, or what friends you have... then you are asking for a divorce.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
7 Feb 13
Wow... you sure are in left field. I have no issue with being OPEN but as far as someone else DECIDING who I'm friends with or who is on my fb etc, nope, nobody else decides that or has a say. It goes both ways. I have friends whose significant others (this is husbands AND wives both) nose into each others purses, wallets, emails, go thru each other's phones. These are insecure jealous people and they fight all the time. None of that ever goes on here, we COULD do that because we leave everything open, but we are both mature enough not to act that way because... there's no reason. We're not 16.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
7 Feb 13
Right, but it's exactly because everything is open, that you don't need to. The fact is, most people who hide stuff, and say "you can't tell me blaw blaw blaw" are usually saying that specifically because they are hiding something, and it's normally something that they shouldn't be doing. If you have a great thing, then great. But when discussion things with people other than ourselves, we should be wise enough to realize we ourselves are not always a perfect model the rest of the world follows. The number of marriages that have broken apart because one spouse decides that what they do is none of the other spouses business, is in the millions. I would rather reduce that number. Simply calling all those people immature, is rather... immature. Let's not go there.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
5 Feb 13
The once you've stated are all what decent humans should be. So its necessary to have all those. So all those and... You'll have me at cheap grocery shopping. You'll lose me at no cooking.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
7 Feb 13
Hehehe! My husband and I are crazy... there are times when we start laughing about something 'inside jokeish' meaning nobody else has any idea WHY we're laughing, but we set each other off, so if we're in public, we just keep laughing and it just gets worse and worse. It's not like we can get away from each other because we usually travel together, so if you ever see a couple of crazy people doubled over dying of laughter and staggering around, it's probably us. He is calm when I'm flipped out, and he usually has a solution - I'M calm when he's flipped out but he doesn't usually let me implement my solution until he calms down lol. There's a lot of things we just don't care that much about so there's very little drama in our lives, at least very little that's actually caused by either of us
• Penrith, Australia
7 Feb 13
A lot of people would die for a relationship like that. I'm so happy for you.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
7 Feb 13
Just like you've said, being a nice guy really is the thing that should be at the top of the list. The other things that I think are really important is that the man should have goals for his life and he should be taking steps in order to be able to reach those goals. He should have a good relationship with his family. The last things that I really do think are important is that he should have a good sense of humor and he should also be a trustworthy individual.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
7 Feb 13
I think both people should have goals and have similar ones - or both be each other's biggest supporters in reaching them. The extended family thing I'm on the fence about because if they are CLOSE to their family and their family is supportive of them, that's good, but if they CLOSE to their family and their family is NOT supportive, it makes is hard for your new family. If they are distant from their family, that's not always bad either, sometimes they are toxic and to protect YOU, they don't bring it around.
@ARIES1973 (9539)
• Legaspi, Philippines
5 Feb 13
Hi mommyboo! Well, in addition to those you mentioned, I prefer someone who can cook, can clean the house, can drive and above all can do the laundry. By the way, if somebody possesses all the qualifications and none of the disqualifications, he can apply directly on this number 00000000000. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
7 Feb 13
It's perfect if both people are capable of all of those things but that doesn't mean both of them have to do both 100% of the time
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
4 Feb 13
The question is: what is a nice guy? What is humour? (you need to have the same kind of humour). Self esteem is important but also being there for 100% for your partner. As long as the nice guy is living his own life, finds his family/friends/job/hobby way more important as his relationship there is no future. Men who only talk about themselves or think that if a woman is telling them something they are also asking for an advice (!) are a big NO also. Same with men who are not willing to take care of themselves (shave!, wear clean clothes and show you have manners) or think they can get every girl they see. Be realistic if it comes to that, men are seldom that great they can!
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (29047)
• United States
4 Feb 13
Dependable, reliable, loyal, trustworthy, faithful, hard working, confident, and for me a personal biggy would be talkative, though my husband really is not. I love good communication and talking.
• United States
4 Feb 13
That's not necessarily a strike against you though. There's a fine line between being confident and being arrogant. But insecurities are a bit of a turn off.. unless you want a woman who wants to "fix" you.. but that's not a real relationship because if you ever get to a point where your insecurities are "fixed" there's nothing left of your relationship.
• United States
4 Feb 13
Yeah that'll probably do the trick!
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
4 Feb 13
Yeah, confidence is one step up from being secure. I have noticed a lot of people are really REALLY insecure these days and that takes away from anybody, even if they have the total package in other ways. Insecure people easily get angry and jealous over nothing, or they get incredibly nosy - which all of those things are huge turn offs for me. I don't even like remaining friends with people who behave like that.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Feb 13
Accepting the other person's foibles, non judgmental.