I do not want to argue anymore.

Philippines
February 16, 2013 3:51am CST
I am the type of girl that do not tend to argue anymore. I think i am totally done with arguments. I do not want to release negativeness as much as possible. So if someone is having anger toward, me or i am having anger. I just keep silent and divert the topic. They say it is not helpful, I am depriving myself in saying what my heart want to say. I guess I am just using my head over the feelings. Arguing has nothing to help in anyway. What do you think??
3 people like this
14 responses
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
16 Feb 13
Well arguing is a natural part of life, and it is not avoidable. There are two specific keys to arguing, that without them arguing will end up in something bad. The first thing is must learn to argue well. A good argument means that you never say anything mean. You be nice. "Well you are a jerk!" That's not good arguing, and you'll destroy a relationship. You must be able to discuss something you disagree on, without raising your voice, or saying anything hurtful. The second key to arguing, is resolution. There are two types of resolution. The first type is you persuade the other person. You talk about it, and one person convinces the other of their point of view. The second type, is the more difficult. This is where you simply accept that the other person is not going to see it your way, and you are not going to see it theirs. So you choose, you make the choice, to accept their view even if you do not agree with it. This is the, ok I don't think this is right, but I'm going to stand with you on this anyway, for the sake of our relationship. Now the key here is, when it turns out you were right, you are not allowed to say "See! I told you so!". Can't do that. You have to accept the choice of the other person, which means you can't complain about it when it turns out you were right. So there is good arguing and bad arguing. You have to choose to make it good.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Apparently, as I said it has all consequences that we need to face in the end of the day. Your anger can turn relationship to trash, or you accept that you are down. I guess noble there is that you ddnt reply back if you really do value that person, In some way If you don't mind at al.. Leave and bar the door!. hhahaa
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
I also do not want to argue with people. As much as possible I just let it pass. But if a person provokes me, then I might just give him a piece of my mind. It is not always that we have to just take in what others throw at us. They should also know how we feel.
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Well you can talk after the rage. Where you both have calm down, and are open to each other. Perhaps, that is the proper way to resolve misunderstanding, than throwing back stones.
• Penrith, Australia
16 Feb 13
That's right, sometimes, its okay to let things pass especially when you value your relationship with the person more than being right all the time.
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Well if that person worth more than pride, sure let go of the pain he/she threw towards you. Aftermath, you will think differently from the time you had hurt feelings. It is just human nature to be carried away by hurt, but when you know how to control yourself, you will be amazed .
@else22 (4319)
• India
17 Feb 13
I am of the same nature.I never argue with anybody.I have learned that people are generally recalcitrant with their views and they won't like to change them.It hurts their ego.Arguing does not help.People feel you are imposing yourself on them.They never accept your views even if they know they are wrong.Moreover arguing generally causes hostilities.
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. Yes, better not fuss with those small things. So many stuffs that are needing your energy, time and effort. I see to it, that my time or that certain thing deserves my time.
@else22 (4319)
• India
18 Feb 13
Exactly.We have no time to waste in arguing with others only to prove ourselves right although we know fully well nobody is going to accept our views.I agree with you.
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
Time is not just gold, it is diamond. In lieu of being sad and angry, be happy and carefree. Do not think stressful situations, leave it alon. Put your time on more meaningful ideas or things to involve with. Engage with people who same positive as you are.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
16 Feb 13
Arguing can bring light to a lot of things as long as it is done properly. The proper way to argue is to remain calm and leave your emotions out of the topic. Stick to scientific facts and discuss the topic objectively, dont use absolute words sch as alL, always, never etc. if they resort to attacking your personality in the midst of the argument, then they lose and by ny means, you can go by doing your own thing.
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Absolutely true, even in board exam, those words are a no no to be use. I am practicing this attitude, it is kind of difficult but it is all worth it though. I am aiming high for the change to be a better person.
• Penrith, Australia
17 Feb 13
I wish you lick in your endeavor. I wish everyone tried to be a better person as well. It isn't impossible, with the right attitude and the willingness to do so.
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
Yes there is no harm in trying to be better. Make yourself as an inspiration to others. Do the move and make a change. We will make this world a better place and peaceful to live with.
@artemeis (4023)
• China
18 Feb 13
I cannot help feeling a little out of sorts when you sounded more like a defeatist when you mentioned that you do not tend to argue anymore. You are right to walk away when you find that the situation is a lost cause or does not help a single bit going head on or that it is not the right time to address the issue. However, it would be wrong for not standing firm on your principles or when your bottom line is being overstepped or the situation or person warrants a telling off. There's nothing wrong when you stand up for what is right and when the other person is making a fool of himself/herself in front of others or putting others in some unnecessary risks or danger. At the other end, we can always be constructive to argue well and improve on the situations or relationships by giving due considerations to the timing, people and situation. I don't believe in cowering when the moment presents itself, so do play it by the ear and argue accordingly. You're not always wrong and there's nothing wrong about standing up on what you believe is right. Don't fail to do the right thing.
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Even if you argue in right, still the other side won't accept that, which is a fact. Until then you both will be irked with each other. I guess, for me arguing is just a waste of time. For sure aftermath of the said situation, when she/ he calms down already, perhaps she/he is willing to listen with a sound mind. Then that would be a good chance to stand your opinion.
@artemeis (4023)
• China
18 Feb 13
Sometimes, making a stance helps prevent things from escalating and making us a hypocrite by accepting things on the surface when our hearts are all about otherwise. Otherwise, one thing will lead to another - in such instances I wouldn't say that such firmness will irk or be counter productive even. Believe me, there are and will be such times.
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
That is what I am trying to say, I am practicing not to be irk or annoy. It is difficult for real not to express what you fee or think, nonetheless, it is better to keep my mouth shut and release the anger by leaving or smiling and just say okay you are right then( sarcastic) .hahaa
@Raine38 (9036)
• United States
16 Feb 13
We can always choose our battles. Sometimes, we have to say our piece just so people will know that we can never let anybody walk over us, that we can also stand up and fight for what we believe is right. That doesn't mean that we have to be nasty about it. Arguments are fine, as long as it is not something that would end up in insults and name calling and hurting people.
• Penrith, Australia
16 Feb 13
That's very true, if the other person is already abusing your kindness to them and they are treating you like $hit, you have to stand up for yourself at one point or another because if you don't, you'll always be the abused and they'll feel that treating you like $hit is fine with you.
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
HAhaa. You do not want to waste time and be stressed. If they are treating you like $hit, then leave them alone. Do not walk away from the negas, but RUN! hahaha. They do not deserve your coolness and time.
@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
20 Feb 13
I know exactly what you mean in saying that you don't want to deal with confrontation in your life anymore and I'm that way as well. However, I have learned in my own life that keeping those things that I don't agree with bottled up all the time is something that I don't think is a good idea at all. The reason that I don't think that it is a good idea is because of the fact that if we keep things bottled up all the time, it is only going to mean that we are eventually going to end up blowing up.
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
I am keeping down in a goal that i want to do my counterpart in having a peaceful world. I dnt think it will blow me up in the end. If i dnt like to be with a person. I better leave him/her with a gracious letting go, than leaving with an angry mood.
@salonga (28074)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
Well that is a good attitude and it makes you a real wise person. Even the Bible says "even a fool when he holds his peace is counted wise". So how much wiser even is a normal person who can hold his peace? I admire your for that kind of of trait and for sure you are an ideal friend to make and the best person to be with. Angry argument will lead to nothing good. So when when one talks angrily it is better to give him a soft answer to turn away his angry spirit. It is like pouring a pail of cold water into the fire.
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
Wow thanks.. I love you. LOl. Yes that is very true. Moreover, it is working. I just find it peaceful when you can control your temper, it is the pride of the person that makes you want to argue, you want to be better than the other. So if i get down or step down my pride, then no more arguments.
• United States
18 Feb 13
I think once you get off your mind what is stressing you out all will be fine. I am one who speaks my mind all the time.
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
Well it depends on each person. If you are the one who want to speaks all the time then well and good as long as it doesn't stress you having arguments with other people.
• Poland
18 Feb 13
There are things worth arguing about and less important cases that aren't. It's very wise of you that you are able to stop yourself before things will go too far but don't forget that someone could take advantage of you if you are too submissive. You shouldn't let go when it comes to something important.
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
not arguing says you are submissive. I think i just don't want to argue that's it. I just find my time is so precious to waste and to be stressed with other stupid person who is not willing to listen anyways. If he/she thinks he/ she is right then fine.
@Mavic123456 (7931)
• Thailand
16 Feb 13
yes, I don't argue too.. I just expressed my thoughts the best I can, maybe several trials but I can not keep long argument.
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
Glad to hear that lot of us here, have positive outlook in life. So many wise people here in my life. I love mylot because it is where good and nice people reside. More mature and wise and optimistic about life. Thanks thanks for your responses mylotters.
@jdawg011 (505)
• Canada
16 Feb 13
I agree. Arguing is never very helpful. Calm discussions are much more help, or calm debates, but flat out arguing just gets both people angry and shouting and is just pure negativity. It is much better to think before you say things, and when you're angry it is a lot tougher to do this. Therefore, calm discussions and negotiating is much better.
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
True, you can think better when you are in calm mood. You cannot think right when you are in anger plus, The things you utter will just add more to the bad cause. Calm the sea first, before swimming.
@roshigo58 (4871)
• Pune, India
11 Mar 13
Hi, You are right. Arguing has nothing to help anyway. When we have some differences of opinion with someone. We start arguing, shouting and all that and no one is willing to stop. It would lead to break our relations. Relations are like rubber. If it is stretched from both the ends it will break. But someone goes one step back and keep it lose at the one end then it remains as it. Keeping silence is the good remedy for overcoming anger.
@MsTickle (25006)
• Australia
23 Feb 13
If you don't argue sometimes then you eventually stop communication. If you let things slide then your partner of friend will lose respect for you. Then you will lose your self respect. There is a way to argue/discuss a situation and a way not to do it. Obviously you need to discuss things when you are both in control of your emotions and not when you are angry. I think it's better to have things out in the open. If this is not possible then the relationship is not working. Move on.