Choice of Words

Philippines
February 18, 2013 12:26am CST
We say that spontaneous is exciting but most of the time, if not always, we should be conscious on the things that come out from our mouth. The choice of words we use to speak for what we feel, what we think is a very significant factor in having a better life and relationship. The choice of word has a unfathomable power. It could literally make or break a person or you, yourself. For instance, "That's great." is far more better than "That's not bad." The previous could uplift your morale, the latter would just not make you feel bad. So it is a good habit if we continue to be conscious of the things that we say. Choice of words is very critical especially when you are talking to people who are in the state of depression. A single wrong word may cause them to take away their lives. This proves how much power every word possesses. One word could literally make another one's world change. Take for instance when my friend told me about an experience she had in sky-diving. She told me that it was great, she felt like she really had wings and flying free as a bird. It made me really excited to go try sky-diving. I am scared of heights so if she ever told me that she felt like she was about to die the instant she was thrown off the plane, I don't think I'll ever have the interest in doing the same thing. Maybe it was what she really felt and wasn't really conscious of choosing the right words but my point is, we could choose to encourage or discourage people through the words we choose. I am trying to live my life conscious of the things I say but whenever I get too carried away with my emotions, I can't seem to control my mouth from spilling out things. And that's what I really need to work out. I believe if I do this on a daily basis, it will not become a conscious effort but a lifestyle. Until then, I would make an effort to be very careful on the choice of words. So as we are in a generation that we could share our insights and opinions online like in Facebook, twitter, and whatever social networking sites, we should be more conscious of the words we use. Do these words bless people, or curse them?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
im with you on this lloyd. I have seen a lot of petty quarrels between friends because some have not been careful about what they said. Others do take offense - even if you are already very close, some words uttered by us often hit us on the sport where it hurts. I remember just a while ago my officemates and i were talking about how we posts in Facebook. Often, we see a lot of our friends and their "side" we have not really seen in reality. That they would post something that they have not thought about... Right? I said I am not like this and usually i would post something but that meant i have already filtered what I said, I have already proofread it hehe and a friend said she usually just posts and realizes after a while that she will just hide or remove it - but people already have seen it, the other person read it and knew about it already.. sometimes being spontaneous is great, but often thinking about things we do, words we say can be helpful at times especially when we do not intentionally want to hurt someone (just letting it out).
1 person likes this
@aqirock (857)
• Malaysia
21 Feb 13
agree with you! think before doing that's it
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
But we must also be aware not to make everything we say too staged and scripted. We don't want to be Mr./Ms. Too perfect that we lose the essence of being fun and spontaneous. But yes, there really are significant cases that we need to be very careful of the choice of words, and tactful enough to not say excessive and unwanted stuff.
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
I do agree with you. Some people would defend themselves that being honest and true to oneself is the best thing to do. However, we should make sure that whatever we say should be something that can be understood by the person that were talking with in a way that we will not hurt them. The different social media sites have been the means of others to express themselves. However, a lot are careless with the choice of words they make. And so there happens to be miscommunication between friends which eventually leads to broken relationships/friendships. Be genuinely true to everyone but be responsible with the right words in relaying to others. This helps us to have a very harmonious relationship to everyone.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
You always have the right words to say. I always think the same thing. People make an excuse that they are just being true to themselves, and how they feel for their rudeness. Yes, we could really get so emotional but it doesn't give us the right to hurt other people may it be just through words. That is something I also want myself to learn. I have to be more in control of my emotions and the things that come out from my mouth. That whatever I say may bless people and make them feel worse.
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Thanks, lloyd! I am really the type of person who would want to please everybody as much as I can. But of course, it is impossible, right? But at least, I know in my heart that I do not intend to do harm to anyone.
@Adval2013 (438)
19 Feb 13
The Bible, in the book of James chapter three, speaks of taming the tongue. It says that the tongue is a small part of our body but it can make great boasts. The tongue can corrupt the whole person. It has the power to bless and to curse. Had I known this truth earlier, I could have avoided hurting even the people I dearly love. When I was younger, I would let out of my mouth every word just to make those around me realize that they were wrong and I was right. Now, I realized many of those words I had spoken were unnecessary. It came to a point that I thought I was reaping what I sowed. I married a man who even to me, his own wife, would always choose to be straight-forward. He would always blame me for even the insignificant issues with words that often demoralize me. I believe I am an intelligent person, but when I married someone who is so erudite, so knowledgeable about many things, I felt I have become a moron. His choice of words are HURTING! Well, I have learned to live with it. I just thought that words like, "I'm sorry." when sincerely uttered right after saying "the words" could make a person feel much better. I would like to say that "choosing the right words to say" should be a lifestyle..a part of our daily existence.
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
I'm glad you are referring to a bible verse. And like the Bible said, our tongue could either bless or curse. And we know better which should we choose, right? I am sorry for what you are experiencing now with your husband. But I believe as long as you show goodness, and continuously pray that he will soon be changed, there will come a time that he will eventually. And yes, choosing the right words to say should be a lifestyle because we never know what impact the hurtful words we say to others. On the other hand, rather than focusing on the negative effects of it, we could vouch that the right words will also be a tool to lift people up.
@Raine38 (9113)
• United States
18 Feb 13
And that is why it is always good to think before we open our mouths. For whatever comes out of it might be hard to take back. It is also easy to break our reputation and shatter the belief and trust of people with us if we are not careful with whatever we say. Words are very powerful weapons. It can make or break a person's resolve.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
I totally agree with you. They even say that the hurt caused by the words said causes a deeper wound than any punch, or any physical assault. It could really break a person if used unwisely. But on the other hand it could lift up someone if you just say the right words.
@aqirock (857)
• Malaysia
20 Feb 13
You are truly right lloydbelleza! some people are very sensitive we should think on whatever we say to the person, well as example sometimes I feel also sensitive here some of their comments here make me feel like I'm a stupid person ever, but the word they saying are just unacceptable, even in real we also need to take care on whatever we saying and yet in facebook are really need to take care on whatever you saying otherwise people can report you on abuse
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
Yeah, or worse get a screenshot of your comment and post them publicly. Then get some negative comments from netizens. That's very scary. You will be thrown with different hurtful criticisms because of the things you have said in your status. And also in real life, your words may be used against you. So be very careful with the choice of words.
@aqirock (857)
• Malaysia
20 Feb 13
Yeah right, know what? I was post screenshot of someone that really rude and many people critic him, I'm not proud of doing this but for give him a lesson
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
I don't condone what you did because that was really too harsh for a punishment. But I guess some people need some dose of their own medicine so they would really learn.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
19 Feb 13
i think you are right. we should be very careful of the words that come out of our mouth. off line, it's takes a bit more vigilance because once you say the words, you can't delete them like on facebook or twitter.
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
Although you can actually delete them on facebook and twitter, some people may have already read it and have passed judgment on you because the words you have posted. So to be safe, and for peace among people, we really have to be careful of the choice of words.
@leeandrew (1226)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
I am very cautious about my words specially when it is about family or friends personal issues or even at some people. Actually there was this group of people that I tried to keep calm until yesterday when I cannot hold myself anymore and burst out. I don't like to be given promises that they don't really comply specially when all that you can do is trust that they will be true to their promises.
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
We may choose to burst out our emotions but we could always choose to say the right things. We shouldn't let our words and judgment be clouded by the overwhelming emotions. I guess you need not to repress your feelings. If you want to talk to them, talk calmly and don't let things be discussed until you yourself are already fed up with them because we all know the result won't be so nice. I am sorry you have to experience that betrayal of promises. It is indeed painful to trust and hope yet in the end, you are let down. But don't ever give up on hoping and trusting people.
19 Feb 13
Yes, I am totally agree on the point you are discussing.Our trusted relationship may turn into toxic relationship if we become careless to select right words.The traits of human character vary persons to persons. Some are very sensitive and react heavily to the words delivered by someone. A particular age group is more sensitive in reacting words severely. This group belongs to teen age group.The parents also need to be more careful in dealing with them. Choosing words are key factors to make friends or foe. So we need to be more thoughtful to deliver words to other.
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
Yes, indeed. We need to know whom we are talking to so we know what are the appropriate words to say. You may be scolding a child because of his faults but choosing the right words to say will help the child become better and feel worse. So yes, we need to be more thoughtful to the words we utter because they are powerful tools that could either make or break a person.
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
18 Feb 13
i wouldn't worry about what i say too much. there is a such thing as forgiveness or understanding one another and knowing none of us are perfect.
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
I really won't say that it is worrying of what you say. It's being more careful and tact. Yes, there is forgiveness, and understanding, and yes, we are not perfect but it shouldn't be our excuse to hurt people because of a slip of tongue. All I am saying is we have to be responsible on what comes out from our mouth. But yes, we could always forgive and understand especially if it is never really meant to hurt someone.
@Keynote (399)
• India
18 Feb 13
you have written very good article and express yourself well.I have learned this from somewhere that if we remain positive inside we start avoiding any word which can hurt somebody or me than we need not to be very careful over any word which we could use to hurt myself or other.We automatically start using sober words.
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Thanks for the compliment but I just based this post from the article I also read. And this choice of words should be a habit we must have, to make it our lifestyle in order for us to able to often, if not always, say the right words.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
18 Feb 13
I think it all depends on the group you are with , when we are around certain group we should act according . Also I think telling someone something is "not too bad" may be better that lying saying its great just to uplift their spirit for today . All depend on the situation and the individual . Being spontaneous means you know how to have a good time if need to . I do agree with you on , words do have power and we have to be careful how we used them to certain people . I also try to be conscious of words I used in my life , especially when people are easily offended . I know how to get a long with all different kind of people . Have a nice day
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
Yes, I agree that it depends on the group we are in. But we have to admit that we rather want to hear positive feedback, or praises from people rather than just OK comment. Choice of words is also different from making a lie because this is not what it promotes. This promotes the right words to say every time you are in a situation. Anyway, I am glad you could smoothly adjust to different people. Not all people have that kind of ability. Have a great day too.