She asked me to move in with her

@911Ricki (13602)
Canada
February 18, 2013 3:12pm CST
A girl I use to work with asked me to rent a house with her. She was with a man for a number of years now. She lives in a city about 40 minutes from me, only thing stopping me is she has 3 kids. They are about 13, 12, and 4. Her and I get a long, but I really don't want to deal with kids. I had a few years ago when she was with her husband, stayed at her place and she didn't care what her kids did. Now I imagine she is leaving this man, and she can't handle 3 kids, and her own place (she jumps from man to man to support her). She left er husband for this man, and now I assume left this man, and she doesn't work either.
2 people like this
17 responses
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
18 Feb 13
I was so excited for you, when I started to read this. Untill I saw she had 3 kids. I agree with you here. Bummer. Have a great monday there.
1 person likes this
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
I just don't think day in and out want to deal with her kids, plus the animals would come with me so I would be so worried that they would either do something to one of the animals, or let them outside.
• Mexico
18 Feb 13
I understand that, maybe your room there... would be kinda seperated. Never know. Take care.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
I highly doubt it, she was asking to rent a house. But she would be paying more seeing as she would be paying for 4 people, and me 1.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
18 Feb 13
i say that you are really smart for thinking twice, not only because of the kids but because of her drama!
1 person likes this
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
Exactly, I would rather deal with my own bills, and don't get a shock when they come in. When you have roomates it's completely different.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
18 Feb 13
something tell me that you would get stuck paying most of the bills anyway, your are right.
1 person likes this
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
I had that feeling as well, she has never actually had to support herself let alone 3 kids on her own. She does get child support from both fathers, but it's still not enough, all 3 kids are in school no reason she can't work.
@yoyo1198 (3643)
• United States
18 Feb 13
I know you need to get out of your current situation but I don't advise jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. Three unruly kids would definitely be 'the fire'. I do wish for you good luck in finding a way to move though. Perhaps someone else will come along that you can share a place with. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
I agree completely, I would rather live by myself and deal with my bills not with others. Just asking for trouble and 3 kids, and my aniimals wouldn't make a good combination.
@yoyo1198 (3643)
• United States
18 Feb 13
Yeah. I thought about your critters, too. Not a great hook-up with hyper, unsupervised kids.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
20 Feb 13
That's what I was thinking as well.
@artemeis (4070)
• China
18 Feb 13
I believe you are right to anticipate the unexpected which in my opinion is more likely to happen. Everything just does not appear or sound right and I believe your friend is looking for more than a co-tenant in you. I suppose this is the time for you to say no to remain as friends still than going ahead and end a friendship.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
I think you are right, maybe she is looking for a free babysitter so she can work as well.
@artemeis (4070)
• China
18 Feb 13
You may suggest being her part time babysitter (paid of course) instead of one that has to pay the rent when you decide to co-rent with her.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
She has brought this up before, about me moving and my off time babysit for her but was a deal on the rent. It's not worth it for me, and I am sure in the end there wouldn't be a friendship.
@NailTech (6890)
• United States
19 Feb 13
Sounds like something my mom would do on the men supporting her thing. She once threatened to leave my dad just cause he was on strike at work. Then there were the numerous times when he was drinking. She always stayed though. I hope you don't rent the place with her, you will be miserable if she lets her kids do whatever. Are they all boys?
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
19 Feb 13
Nope, she has 2 girls, and 1 boy (the boy being the youngest). She had them when she was young, she is only 30 or 31 now.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
19 Feb 13
My Mom did the samething as well, she has yet to leave. She depends on him too much, and he pays the bills. I could never lower myself to that.
@Blondie2222 (22365)
• United States
18 Feb 13
I don't blame you for not wanting to move in with her. If she is not working you would be pretty much supporting her and her 3 kids and would leave you broke. I wouldn't trust anyone like that. Especially if she is going from man to man, that's a winner.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
I know, she is a nice person but she simple doesn't know how to support herself. Her parents never taught her that, being an only child. I don't blame her for leaving her husband as he was abusing and raping her, but she grabbed onto the first guy after that to support her she's been with him for about 3 -4 years, but she got pregentn while she was still with her husband.
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
If she will give you space in her house and not to be bothered by her kids... and she doesn't have anything to support her kids... maybe renting with her will be a nice help for your friend (rent with her if she really left the man she's been living with)... and maybe this will also an opportunity for her to have someone to talk too... to straighten her life bit by bit. Have a great day.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
I don' know where you live, but I am not paying $1,500 - $3,000 a month for rent for her and her kids live there as well. I could pay $750 and live on my own, or pay a mortgage for that much. She doesn't work, or have an income so it most likely would fall on my plate.
@marguicha (100254)
• Chile
18 Feb 13
I think that it is hard to deal with our own kids, let alone having to do it with other people`s children, specially since 2 of them are teens. Is she does not work, she will be borrowing and not paying you all the time. She won`t be able to help it. So, if an advise can help, stay where you are until you can manage to have a place of your own. Even if you sublet a room, you would be the boss.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
I agree, I told her I had other arrangements. Most places who rent wont allow animals, so I brought that up as well. Also, the lack of income 4 months of the year, which is hard and trying to figure out an inbetween.
• Philippines
18 Feb 13
well it is difficult to live with children, i have two kids an a niece i'm taking caking care of, we get along fine, husband is providing for us, i do not work. well, i guess you already reach a decision by now....that is if you're living with her or not...
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
I agreee, kids are hard to live with I hate them, and irritate me in general, so I know how it would end up.
@BarBaraPrz (20533)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
18 Feb 13
Go with your instincts.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
18 Feb 13
That is what I am going with. I would rather only deal with my own bills, and not get surprises.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
21 Feb 13
Though in most situations I have to say that if I wasn't with my husband, I wouldn't have any kind of an issue at all with moving in and splitting expenses with one of my friends, I have to say that this particular situation doesn't sound like something that I would want to get mixed up in. The reason that I wouldn't do it is because of the fact that if the woman is the type that bounces from one man to another, moving out like this would likely be a situation that was only temporary as opposed to being something that was more permanent.
@kprofgames (3104)
• United States
19 Feb 13
Doesn't sound like the ideal roommate. I can see in helping with living expenses, but if she's jumping around from one person to another...would you be her glorified babysitter so she can go out and run around? You know you can get along with just about anyone till you live with them. Being roommates is hard and it can ruin friendships (even if it's a casual friendship) because you just really never know a person till you live with them. Can say feel sorry for her children. Sounds like they have no direction.
@joycseer (845)
• Malaysia
19 Feb 13
Oh...when you said "girl", it makes me really think it was a young girl just came out to work and needed to rent a place. But until i read she had 3 kids, that is a woman or a mother with 3 children. Well, sounds like you are going to be a mess if you move in with her. So, you made a right decision not moving in with her since she is a person who jumps from man to man to support her and not really taking care of her children well despite having support from people. Chinese people has a saying, "If there is no trouble, we better not find troubles for ourselves".
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
19 Feb 13
I'm sorry but for me this won't work out. It will just lead you to more problems, maybe for a while it will be good, everything goes smooth but in longer time problems will come up. I'm afraid but in a longer period it will end up you are feeding them.
• India
19 Feb 13
well it is all up to you, if you do not want to be with her then avoid her. you can be straight forward about this matter.
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
That is a very difficult situation but if I were in your place I would really say no. Of course I will not tell her just a plain No but I will give her some advice too. It is hard to raise three kids without a regular job. If you'll accept her offer, just accept the fact that she might end up borrowing money from you.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
I think that you're never going to have a great time on that house. Much better if you decline the offer.