How would you deal with your mother dying of breast cancer?
November 22, 2006 12:49pm CST
At this very moment my mom is terminal with breast cancer and I am having a very hard time with it. It's been just over a year since her doctor said she had 6 months to a year, so we are preparing for the end. She had made her palliative care and funeral arrangements and feels the need to talk to me about it. I do talk to her, but every time I leave her I cry my heart out. We are best friends and it's so hard to watch her, knowing she will be gone soon. How would you deal with it?
30 Nov 06
you cant deal with it. i lost a parent many years ago, and i am still not over it, but time helps a little. make the best of what time you have left, and once your mom is gone, really take your time to grief. thats very important. dont pretend you are strong - you dont have to. wish you all my best, hugs
30 Nov 06
thanks so much for your comment. So sorry to hear that you lost a parent. I don't think it's something any of us can get over, even though we know eventually it will happen. Mom's only 65 and we always said when she was too old to take care of herself she would live with me. That obviously won't happen now. I guess I feel I have to be the strong one because I am the eldest of 5 and Dad's not taking it well, but when the time comes I just know I won't be able to be, not matter how hard I try, so I won't bother. I will be sure to grieve for as long as I need to, but I refuse to start now like some of my family has. I just want to enjoy her while she is still here and not have regrets about that when she's gone. Hugs back to you too!
• United States
30 Nov 06
that is my greatest fear in the world... my mom is everything to me and i hate to see her get older even. i dont know how i would do it but i would have to stay strong. i would just have a very hard time with it as well.
• United States
22 Nov 06
There are two days in every week we should not worry about, two days that should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed, forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. Nor can we erase a single word we've said - yesterday is gone. The other day we shouldn't worry about is tomorrow, with its impossible. Tomorrow is beyond our control. Tomorrow's sun will rise either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds but it will rise. And until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn. This leaves only one day - today. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens of yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad - it is the remorse of bitterness for something that happened yesterday, and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, live one day at a time
23 Nov 06
Well said and I try to always live my life one day at a time. If I didn't do that I think I would go insane. Right now I'm just making sure that when Mom is gone I will have no regrets as far as our relationship. I continue to treat her the same as I did before she got sick as that is what she wants. She feels guilty that she hasn't been able to beat it and is more concerned about how we will be without her than what she is going through herself. I keep telling her to not think about that, just enjoy the time she has left in whatever way she wants and be selfish for a change. It's her life and her time and none of it should be spent worrying about us.