I did not know what else to do.

United States
February 25, 2013 9:12pm CST
My daughter called me because she was home with no food and no money. I told her to get on the train and ask the conductor to bill me like he was going to do when I thought I lost my ticket before. but,they never even came to her for a ticket. she told me about her current situation with the loser. thank god he did not fight or hit her. but he did leave her in the house with no food to go out with another female. she came here and we went through my kitchen and I packed her two bags of food. I asked her did she eat the last tv dinners I sent last week an she said,no he ate it. I wanted to scream.. but,I said no that will not happen tonight. I found some tv dinners that I bought from dollar tree and packed those as well. I went to bj's wholesale and bought two big peanut butters and she got one. I opened a box of crackers and gave her some. they are back up in rent because she pays to eat out because they don't have a stove. I checked walmart and they have the hot plate for $30 an i asked if she has a table she could put oit on and she said,no the bed takes up the room space. I felt down for that and I said you don't have room for a rice cooker. then she said,no only on top of the radiator. I was thinking about one of my friends here and could hear her voice in my head. pq,and it kept me calm because I wanted to go off. the only thing I did tell her was that she is going to lose her freedom or her life if she stays with him. I gave her my paypal card to get back home with. I thank god that I did not go shopping with that card. I am also glad I bought all the food I had here in this house. I gave her a box of mac and cheese and told her to ask his uncle down stairs to let her cook it. I have 4 left for us.. she said,she does not like going down there to them anymore after they stood by and let the abuser hurt her. I told her she needs to figure out what she wants to do. I also bought her two boxes of cereal and she took that. next week I am taking her shopping with some of her check and mine. she should be home by now.
4 people like this
15 responses
@celticeagle (119388)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
Well hopefully he won't eat all that food and leave her hungry. I think I would have dowled it out to her a little at a time or something so he wouldn't have it. I hope she leaves him before it is too late.
• United States
26 Feb 13
I know her heart and she will not let him go hungry. she slept in someone garage to not leave him alone in the world. she is too caring and she even said tonight how something is wrong with his head ebcause he treats her so bad. she eve started crying and of course I could not just ignore her like I wanted to when she was talking about him.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119388)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Feb 13
She is enabling him and until she quits he won't quit.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119388)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Feb 13
He needs to stand on his own two feet and do something for himself. And she can feel sorry for him all she wants but it isn't helping him any and it could end up costing her her life.
@redredrose (1107)
• United States
26 Feb 13
I am so sorry for your situation but i'm not sure you should have given food to your daughter. Maybe if you hadn't she might leave the guy for good. Then again it is a parents instinct and love for our kids to do for them. I do not have kids but i have a niece and 2 nephews and would help them if they were in the same situation. You are a good mother to be there for your daughter but i think by your being here fr her she will never leave him. Prayers to you and for you and the family.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 13
She will be fine when she gets to the point she is fed up. I just know she is my only child and i can't see her hungry. I am glad she is able to eat tonight.
@dodoazo (21035)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
I do agree with redredrose. It is a parent's instinct and love for their kids' welfare. And also as a good mother you did all the best to help your daughter in trouble.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
26 Feb 13
when I was doing the tough love thing with my daughter, I just could not bring myself to deny her the essentials. I feed homeless people so why ould I not at least extend myself that much to my own daughter. I would of and did do the same as she did.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (100518)
• Chile
27 Feb 13
I cannot imagine what I would do if I was in your place. I would not want my daughter to be hungry, but I would not want to give her food so that her BF takes it away from her. Probably I`d try to have her eat at my home, if possible. The situation is imposible:Kay will not leave her BF and she will be abused everyday. Isn`t there a way the law can help her through you?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 13
I called the police the last time and they went over to his house with me. they can't do anything because she will not press charges on him. and your right you would not want to be in my shoes. I know that scum bag will eat my food but I also know I did what I did for my daughter. she lives a few towns from me and does not have the money to get here every day to eat.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 13
Kay is in a bad place. It's a mother's worst nightmare to know her daughter is hurting from abuse but won't leave her abuser. All gifts can do is provide a little help when she asks for it. You have come a long way Gifts since I first knew you.
• China
27 Feb 13
hi, i am a chinese in China now,although i can not understand exactly,but i know it is not good?hope you are fine,and your daughter?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 13
Hello,we are both doing fine. thanks very much. and welcome to my lot.
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
26 Feb 13
Since I'm a new acquaintance I don't know the background of this situation but I can imagine how you feel since I have grown children, too. Hard as it would be, I would let her deal with it and perhaps it would encourage her to leave the jerk. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way and those kinds of lessons seem to be the only ones that make an impression. It's hard to see a child suffer but it's harder when they are supported in their situation and are not motivated to change it.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 13
I have tried for three years and lost the battle now all I can do is love my daughter and be there when she needs me.
@dodoazo (21035)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
I am confused. I couldn't get through your ideas. Anyway the point here is a good communication. Whatever matters everything will be settled and will be in order, if she communicate with you earlier. And also you should be aware the eventualities that will happen to your daughter and more.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 13
thanks very much
• United States
26 Feb 13
It is sad that she keeps on going back to that loser. I am glad that you had some extra food for her. Can she get food stamps? If so you may want to help her look into getting that. I know that she may not get a lot of money, but it may help. Does she have any friends she can live with? She needs to really get out of this situation and I am proud of you for not screaming when she mentioned the loser. I wish she could get online and make extra money for herself.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 13
she can't get food stamps till she turns 22 aand I want her in school by then and working for herself.
• United States
26 Feb 13
Every time you do stuff like that, you are just enabling her. You let her run back and forth between his place and your home, and she thinks that everything is okay because you will always bail her out of trouble.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 13
That is so true because there would never be a day I deny my child food. even if that means the loser will eat so be it. there are times I have said no to her about stuff. so I don't bail her out of everything. but,if I can feed a stranger begging on the corner.. I better feed my child.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
26 Feb 13
wow, thats terrible but do you think it is wise to spend her check on food, because the loser might get upset because you are in the mix..I am sure he thinks her money is his money,, but why is she staying there and he is going out with other females,,,What the hell is that about...her self esteem can not be that low for her to stay there with that going on. and if he is eating up everything why send a large amount of food there?? It really hard to have a room without room to even plug in a hot plate..she could at least heat soup..I mean she dosen't need a big table just a small something on the floor will be better than nothing....But she dosen't have the mind to think about that and he just dosen't care I am sure....
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 13
I told her she could go to home depot and get some wood to put over something to put up a hot plate.
@GardenGerty (101890)
• United States
26 Feb 13
How is she going to keep him from eating the food you give her? This is kind of like you saying you do not "get it" sometimes. She clearly does not get it that she is worth so much more than this life she is living. She is worth having someone in her life to respect her and care for her. I am glad you can hear people telling you the right way to be calm in your head.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 13
She is not going to keep him from eating. I know her already she is the child who always brought home a stray animal or lonely child to come eat at my house.
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
26 Feb 13
I find it funny that she is uncomfortable with his family after they stood by and let the loser abuse her, yet she is still comfortable staying with the loser himself. I feel for you. You don't want to enable her, but who doesn't feed their child. I have been an adult for over a decade, and my mom still tries to feed me every time I come into the house.
• United States
27 Feb 13
I try to feed mine as well. if that is all I can do that is all I will do.
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
3 Mar 13
Sharon do you know why she keeps staying with the loser? Why she goes back to him after she has escaped? Can you have her committed somewhere so she can wean herself away from him or so that he moves on while she is gone? Kay needs counselling and maybe even some therapy to work through this self destruct movement she has going on. What on earth has happened to the child for her to be like that?
@lelin1123 (15644)
• Puerto Rico
28 Feb 13
OMG She is not my daughter but I'm sorry I'm fuming mad right now. I don't understand your daughter. Knowing he is with another female she continues to stay with the loser. I'm not sure I would have given her the food to take to the losers place because he is the one who will be eating it. This was your time to say if you want food you need to come home once and for all. That means bring all your belonging and forget about him. She has no respect for herself if she continues to stay with "so call man" who is cheating on her left and right. What on earth is she thinking? If he is leaving her in the house without food or money to be with someone else he does not care a bit about her. What is it going to take for her to wake up.
• Indonesia
28 Feb 13
I hope she will get over it and leave him for good. I really think the guy who is with your daughter now is good for nothing. And it’s better for her to leave him. You are such a good mother to be with your daughter when your daughter has a difficulty and troubles. And it’s good that your daughter has you to be there for her despite her lack. Anyway, I hope God bless you and your family. And all the best for you.
• United States
27 Feb 13
I'm proud of you Gifts for not hitting the ceiling. You know it's counterproductive now. The more you object to him the more she will cling to him. Just being her mom and being her soft place to fall when she needs it. If and when she leaves him will be on her terms. She is beautiful. She deserves a chance to be happy with someone decent. I think when you don't make a fuss she will one day tire if him. I hope so anyway.