I am thinking to end up my life, as I am tired, weary and exhausted....

Philippines
February 26, 2013 11:17am CST
A pleasant day Fellow Mylotters, I do believed that everybody has its own problem to handle. It only depends on the person as to how and what approach to be taken. But, my end here, I am tired, weary and exhausted. Despite of the best that I have shown, still, my effort and labor is still in vain. As a result, I am thinking to end everything in my life. What I feel now is giving up. I always feel the grieved. Thus, there were no days that I didn't feel it. Even before, during the majority years of my life. As there were no days that I don't feel the sadness. Thus for every one happy moment, there will be a ten times of sadness.
10 people like this
44 responses
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
26 Feb 13
I hope you also think that many people have the same kinds of thoughts. Life can be cruel but it can be joyful too. One thing I found that helps is not looking at life as black and white. We are happy or we are sad. Not really true. We can be reasonably happy and we can be happier. The same goes for feeling sad. What is a concern for me after reading your topic is there were no days that I don't feel the sadness. This can happen and when it does over time it can actually change us. You are going to get all kinds of advice here I think and maybe you could act on some of it if it seems like the right thing to do for you. Things can change and trying positive things can make life more tolerable for you. It may sound silly but I sometimes write gratitudes with personal honesty. I am grateful I have mylot to access. I am grateful I have a roof over my head. I am grateful there is always someone that cares. I am grateful there are little animals and flowers because they are delightful. I am grateful I am able meet in the middle with people and not fight. I am grateful I can exercise and it makes me feel better. I am grateful for exercising gratitudes because they do work good.
4 people like this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
2 Mar 13
I find this helpful for myself too whenever I count the blessings and see how great my life is compared to some I sEe in the streets. I would immediately feel that life is good. And I want to live it and make it better.
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
27 Feb 13
As my memory is very poor, I do not know or remember what you re going through. The load you are carrying must be very heavy and it seems hard to carry any longer. When the load has gotten heavy in my life, I have cried to God for help and strength. Life is still very challenging but I am still here and hope to keep going. Here are a couple of passages that have kept me going: 1 Peter 5:6-7 GNT) 6 Humble yourselves, then, under God's mighty hand, so that he will lift you up in his own good time. 7 Leave all your worries with him, because he cares for you. Galatians 6:9 GNT) 9 So let us not become tired of doing good; for if we do not give up, the time will come when we will reap the harvest. 1 Corinthians 15:58 GNT) 58 So then, my dear friends, stand firm and steady. Keep busy always in your work for the Lord, since you know that nothing you do in the Lord's service is ever useless. May the God who gives hope give you the strength to keep going!
3 people like this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
28 Feb 13
Hi airasheila! You are precious to God and to many. We all touch so many lives each day. We can all do so much good. Who knows what we yet might do if we stick around. Look at all who care for you. All the best my friend!
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
hi 1hopefulman, i do appreciate all those verses that you have posted. they are really encouraging. thank you so much for the kind words and soul upliftment.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
26 Feb 13
You really don't want to end it! You don't say exactly the problem but you need to talk to someone and get help from a doctor. Life is what you make it and you know you can make it better and different for yourself if you stop letting yourself get down in the dumps and feeling weary and exhausted. Get up and take a nice long shower. Then put on upbeat music and start dancing to it. Then seriously find a doctor that can help you get over this depressing that you are feeling at this time. It will go away if you talk it through and think positive thoughts. Do not dwell on negative feelings. If you put positive thoughts into your mind good things will start to happen and you will see that good things can happen in your life if you allow it too. Your brain is the most powerful thing in your body use it wisely. I also believe in praying to God for help, it does really help people. It has helped me over the pass twelve years and because of praying to my God he has put me in a wonderful place. A place I never dreamed of at my age. Please seek help for yourself from a family member, friend or a good doctor. Please keep in touch and don't do anything crazy life is good and you are only feeling this for the moment.
3 people like this
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
lelin1123, how i wish, i have an appreciative family but i don't. literally, i have my family but i can't feel the loved the family should be showing. that, what is inside my heart is not the loved for them anymore. although they are my family but its fine with me if they are around or not.
2 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Feb 13
I completely understand your feelings here, I think most people have felt this way at one time or another. I know I have! Look, I have been through a LOT in my life also. I just recently went through almost having my kids get taken away, my husband just got laid off so we are struggling to pay the bills, I always end up selling things I really want to keep just to get some money, I never get to go out, have fun or have vacations, I don't have a license so I cannot work to make some money, I have been sexually abused as a kid, I was called a slave all my life from my father, my husband and I have been homeless together and we lost a child together... Look, if I can go through ALL of that and not want to kill myself you can get through your situation as well. We have been through even more than this together but these are the main ones. We ALL go through tough things at some point in our lives. I think my husband and I have been through more bad than good. We have the worst luck ever! There is no reason to end your life. I thought about it a long time ago but here I am, I made it through a lot of things and I think I am a strong person to make it through all of this! Try to think about the good and stay strong. I know it seems really horrible right now but remember this too shall pass...
3 people like this
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
Hi there, What you have said somehow uplifts me and I want to thank you for that. Well, for now I will try to be stronger and hope to cope up on it.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Mar 13
I am glad I helped. =) I wasn't trying to upset you here I was just trying to help you to see that everyone goes through some REALLY hard things. It is up to you whether you push through it or if you let it take you over... I am glad your doing a little better now. All situations are temporary and will get better in time.
@jearl02 (211)
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
Hi airasheila, There are really thousands of different situations that can happen to anybody of us. These situations may bring us happiness or sorrow. However, I just want to leave you these 2 simple quotes: (1) The way we see things depends on the way we look at it, and (2) The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude towards the problem. I believe both are easy to explain and you can easily understand them. Just always look at the bright side of the situation because it will continue to give us hope to face the problem and persevere as well.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 13
I agree exactly! I used to whine and moan the same way that I didn't want to wake up in the morning. What's changed? I stopped feeling like a victim and started seeing myself as a survivor.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Feb 13
Airaheila, Yes life sucks at times. It is hard to cope with it from day to day but think about the days you said were good. What was it that made them good. We can get so overloaded with problems we do have to have medical help to get beyond wanting to just end it all. Talking with someone is sometimes hard but it sure is stress lifting once you start doing it. If you don't have someone to talk with go to your local church and tell them you need help. They will start guiding you to the places to get help. If not get back on here and we will find someone to help you.
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
i got your point. i guess, i can't simply go at our local church here. i will just try my best to cope up but it is really tiring.
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
27 Feb 13
Most everyone goes through rough phases in their lives. There were times I felt like what you are saying and am glad now that I never did take my own life. Sometimes things seem like they're dark and going to stay that way but it's not true, they never stay the same. A long time ago I read somewhere to talk to yourself in the mirror. I got my self esteem from myself! I let myself know how great of a person I am every day! I was used to having one bad day after another and thought it would always be like that. I started telling myself that I wouldn't have any more bad days. Things in life seem to feed off of each other. If, before I had spilled coffee on myself, I'd be upset and maybe trip going down the stairs to change my clothes, then I would have to put a sore toe in my shoe and walk funny all day because my toe hurt and be late to where I needed to be because it hurt to walk, I would get yelled at for being late and I would be mean to everyone else because I was having a bad day. If I spill coffee on myself now, I kind of laugh to myself and just go change my clothes. Let some of the little things stay little and not let them get any bigger. What is making you tired, weary and exhausted? Why do you feel that your effort and labor is in vain? What do you think would make it all rewarding? I think you need to do what makes you happy. Figure out what it is that you need. No one and nothing is going to make you feel the way you feel but you and you are the only one that can change that. I did notice that you have said "for every one happy moment, there will be a ten times of sadness" what if you keep telling yourself that "for every happy moment, there will be ten more moments of happiness" instead? My outlook on life has changed drastically since I changed the way I think. Thinking positive changes the way we live. I would like to see a post from you every day saying something positive about yourself and what is going on in your life. Stepping outside and smelling the fresh air, hearing birds sing, listening to upbeat music, smiling at other people, helping someone else....all have positive effects on us even though they seem like they are nothing.
3 people like this
@johndur (3052)
• Pasig, Philippines
26 Feb 13
there is no problem that we cannot solve. just think that in every sad story we have there always a happy ending after that. do you think that if you will end your life today all your problems will be gone?by all means no.there is much more problems that you will encounter after this borrowed life.why not take a break and unwind and relax a little bit before you decide.life is beautiful.
@leateagee (3667)
• China
27 Feb 13
Life has its ups and down. Ending it is claiming that you lost the battle or you did not finish the journey. Whatever happens to us has a reason. Look deeper, understand why things happens. You are not the only one experience such tiredness, weariness, and exhaustion. ALL OF US DO but most of us just know how to deal or where to get help. My friend, seek others' guidance. We have all been there and done that. You just need how to pass through it. By the way, WE ARE HERE!
3 people like this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
27 Feb 13
If you have no expectations life cannot be that difficult. I do not know what is it that you are expecting and not getting. The less we expect the more will we get our peace. Ending life is no solution. Every breath is precious. My mother was bedridden for several years. She never wanted to die but was forever in the attitude of gratitude having a smile on her face till her last moments on earth.
3 people like this
@samson1 (738)
• Jamaica
26 Feb 13
Perhaps, you need to become engaged in a hoppy or join up with a social group. Being alone when you are vulnerable can lead to idle thoughts. If these idle thoughts are allowed to develope -unchecked- then dispondency (and depression) may set in. Why not get some professional help? You may be surprised that your moments of depression may become lessened over time, to your advantage. Try it out, you may live to experience the difference, ok?
3 people like this
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
There's always light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever you are struggling right now, always remember that God is good and He will not let you be in a situation that you cannot handle. Sometimes, it's just being emotional on what is happening around us. Maybe, just try seeing the good side of every situation. Life is beautiful. Trials are just spice that makes our life challenging but in the end, it is still your choice if you want to be happy and enjoy life, lonely and be miserable or coward to end everything. The choice is all yours.
3 people like this
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
Taking your own life is not the answer for your problems. As long as we human beings live, we will face a lot of challenges. These challenges are meant to make us learn and be strong. I know you will find ways to solve your problems. God will not give us any burden we can't handle. Have faith and courage. You are not alone. Spend time talking with your friends and go out with them once in a while for you to forget your worries and always pray to God for guidance. There are many people out there who are dying because of hunger and yet they only wish for a piece of bread to survive. Just imagine the lives of these people and yet they still want to continue living. Compare yourself with them. I am pretty sure you do not have the same problems with them. Your problems can never be compared with the sufferings of these people.
3 people like this
@murarig (21)
• India
27 Feb 13
Hey! no, don't even think mentally that you are tired. Just physical tiredness is different and mental thing is different. Just say yourself relax man, try to help underprivileged and see how their life, you definitely come to know what you are missed and missing. you really enjoy enough and glad you recover from your inner sickness.
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
28 Feb 13
Personally, I think that we have all had days where we feel like this. We need to remember that their are times in life where things happen and we may not always feel the best. We end up loosing hope, and feel like everything is against us. But this is never the time to give up. This is actually time we need to take time to think, reflect and pray. Coming here on myLot is also good as it gives you a chance to turn your thoughts and fears to something more positive. But if things are continuing to be this bad, also do not be afraid to seek help. We would not want to see anything happen to you.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
1 Mar 13
Well. personally I think that is what myLot is for, and a Great reason to keep on coming back. I know there are days that do not always go the Best like today, but I keep strong and faithful and know in time everything is really going to be OK.
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
Hi KrauseHome, I feel better now, though the pain is still there. Just like the other, I want to express my sincerest thanks for the concern that you have shown. Although we just met here and being friends online, I can feel the care that you and others want to give me. And for that, I am really thankful.
1 person likes this
@lampar (7584)
• United States
26 Feb 13
If that is what you are thinking all the time, so be it. Nobody can stop you from taking your own life due to your personal reasons, as your life is belong to you and your creator, you want to end it your way instead of your creator way, then you need to answer to him and face up to the consequences, we have no control over you.
2 people like this
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
to you Angelpink, It is fine, I get what lampar wants to imply.
1 person likes this
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
Our friend needs comfort .
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
28 Feb 13
No I do not personally know you but doesn't mean this isn't heartfelt. I saw a discussion you did 3 weeks ago..No matter how small or big my task is, I believed God is bigger to those things. Pull up the strength you have in yourself through your faith.
2 people like this
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
a pleasant day to you, i am really trying my best to cope up. and as i have read all of the responses here, it really gives me a lot of encouragement. i was also surprised that a lot of friends posted their concern though we are only in a virtual world. thank you so much.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
Don't loose hope. Just keep on praying, God is good. He will help you. Be positive, enjoy life.
2 people like this
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
wishing that my prayers will be granted.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
28 Feb 13
Hi airasheila! I was not able to read this post of yours because I cannot concentrate with mylot these past few days. You see you got lots of friends around? I would like to admit it that at first, I thought of you as someone that I know. Because of the name and the greeting that you are using which is I know you are the only one using it here in myLot (I'm sorry if others are also using it but this is as far as I know). "a pleasant day". I have this office mate whom I know who is very popular in the group because she is the only one using this kind of greeting. But the more we interact in the few months, I realized you are another person. But of course you quite caught my attention already. And I am happy that we became friends even just here in myLot. When it comes to problem, yes this is part of life. Maybe you should take a walk for sometime to see how other people around you are doing. There are those who lost their homes due to some calamities, there are those who lost their jobs and many others who have a heavy problem but still they are fighting for life. PM me if I could be of help. Have a great day!
2 people like this
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
A pleasant day to you ARIES1973, I would like to express my sincere thanks for the care that you have shown through your words. And I hope that our friendship will really last for long. I am also wishing that somehow we can meet personally though I guess it is quite impossible. Nevertheless, I am happy to meet you here. Thank you so much once again.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
26 Feb 13
We will have none of that kinda talk here. Take a good walk, get some fresh air. And start over today. Pull yourself together there.
2 people like this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
27 Feb 13
mariaperalta!
• Philippines
27 Feb 13
to you mariaperalta, i am really tired. my family who does not have shown appreciation, so i don't even care if they will listen to me or not. i just wish that one day, i will no longer wake up because God has permitted me to go.
3 people like this
• Mexico
27 Feb 13
Take care of your self. Make sure you have friends and family to talk to there.