Do you like your Neighbours?

@cynthiann (18619)
Jamaica
March 1, 2013 3:29pm CST
I live in a gated community that does not have fences but owners plant hedging along their fence line, as it were. My next door neighbour has built right up to the fence line leaving the obligatory three feet and she is no longer talking to me. She is a lawyer who also owns an Accounting Firm and has three children in a very large home. She has even built underground in case of an earthquake During my absence from home she put up washing lines in my garden as she employs a lady who just sits there and washes by hand all day. She has a washing machine but she doesn't use it. This is quirky as it is not from lack of money - not when yhou employ a fulltime gardener/handy man plus other household help. I drove home one day to find all her washing on my lawn(she had removed the lines) and I politely told the washer woman that she was spreading clothes over my lawn and asked her if she realised that? She quickly gathered them up and then went and complained to my neighbour who has now forbidden her children to play with the twins and they are not to speak with us. Sad, isn't it? Again, children used in the pawn of life. When I see her I wish her good day but she doesn't respond. I've now had to put in sheers to stop her family from looking into my dining room as they pass and also put huge pots of greenery outside of my dining room. The dining room only has walls a third up as there are grills and I use awnings in bad weather to keep out the rain. In effect - I have blocked the breeze Almost opposite me (I live in a cul de sac) is a lovely, charming lady who has just retired and she positively looks forward to the twins coming from school. She has GC who live in our road and so after homework is done and before supper the kids all play together. All the old fashioned games like 'it' and 'hide and seek'. We respect each other's boundaries and the twins do not outstay their welcome and some evenings they are all in my garden. So, on one side, I have the 'spy' who looks and reports to my almost ex DIL on the comings and goings of people to my home and on the other side I have an angel. So, what are your neighbours like?
7 people like this
13 responses
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
1 Mar 13
Wow, sounds like a version of my neighbors, up until a few years ago. Like you, I live in a gated community. On one side are neighbor's whose children were closer my my older kids growing up, so they kind of hung out together and the neighbor's always invited us to their gatherings. On the other hand, on the other side of me are neighbors who, if they didn't have the power and money, wouldn't have been able to built their huge home so close to our property. But I was fortunate, the side of my neighbors who built real close, was only two bedroom windows, the rest of the house faced away from them. These neighbor's also were part of a conspiracy to buy our house out from under us when our mortgage company tried to foreclose on, (we just so happen to ask the right person and found this info out) plus she was friends with the guy who called the sheriff if my dog barked longer than five minutes. So they were someone to watch out for, someone to be wary of especially one year when she came over, when we were not home, on the pretense to give us a Christmas gift and at the time we didn't worry about locking up, but she told us when she tried to come in to put the gift on our table, our dog growled at her. Needless to say, we now always lock up, but not just because of her, but there have been robberies around the area. Anyways, I never took it personally and would pray for her when I thought of it and to fast forward to about four years ago, the woman lost her home business and no longer had the money coming in. She suddenly will wave at me if she passed me on the road, (something she never did before) she has called on me a few times to let her dog out, since she now has to work outside the home. So, I am still weary of her, but at least she isn't treating me like dirt to my face anymore... So pray for that neighbor Cynthiann, you never know what can happen...
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
1 Mar 13
I wish her no harm but feel sorry for her eldest son as he is not allowed to play with my grands. She is a single Mom and is very difficult to live with and her sisters work for her also her Mom. Yes, life can change in a flash and now because she has built a huge block of Offices for rent in town and cannot find people to rent from her she is in trouble. I wish her well. I feel sad for her eldest son who has to stay in his garden and watch the other kids playing. You certainly went through a lot with your neighbour. How could anyone enter another person's home wihtout them knowing and she trie to do the dirty on yhou. You are a good person to forgive her
3 people like this
• United States
1 Mar 13
Oh it wasn't easy, knowing she tried to buy our home when we were down, and probably made a few complaints against us when she first moved in. But you know the saying, "pride goes before a fall" and she really did act like she was better than me and yet now she has been humbled. I know you don't wish your neighbor any harm, but sometimes don't you just want her to stop being so cruel?
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
1 Mar 13
Definitely to her children. I greeted her eldest son who is a seven and he told me that he is not allowed to talk to me or the children or come over to our house. So sad. Her sisters appear to be scared of her and she owns the home where they live with their mother and does not pay them well. My adopted daughter is close to her sisters and visits them when she comes home to me.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
1 Mar 13
Goodness. Is the hostility due to you saying something about the laundry? Or is this person a good friend of the DIL? I don't even know my neighbors. None of them came by and said hi when we moved in, and I haven't been really social either. I've only spoken to two of them, the lady on the north side who asked if we needed help the day we were waiting for my real estate agent to show up, and the guy whose wife called the cops on Tony. I know, I know. Bake cookies, take them over, introduce myself...
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
1 Mar 13
first, ha!
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
1 Mar 13
I think that it is a bit of both. Not good friends with DIL but we had all exchanged phone numbers in case of emergencies. and it is a good idea to have their numbers incase you have to warn them that a prowler is outside or something. but DIL let the cat out of the bag when she used to call. she is calling now and is welcome to call twins but the call is monitored by their father. They can skype her if he is here. he encourages them to do that and she has been okat. Knows that he will termintae call
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
1 Mar 13
Terminate call if?
2 people like this
@aabuda (1729)
• Philippines
1 Mar 13
Well, I do like our neighbors. Our community treats everyone else as a family. We do not get into trouble with each other. I am really thinking of building my dream house in here because I really wanted to stay with our neighbors!
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
1 Mar 13
That is so good as it is wonderful to be on good terms with neighbours
2 people like this
@celticeagle (119157)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Mar 13
Yes, it is pathetic when children are used in this way. Be glad one is good. I have nice and relatively quiet neighbors. One is from some foreign land and chops their meat about once a week for what seems like hours. It is strange. On the other side the father has cancer and makes some weird noices from time to time. There was a time when it was all alot worse and we had people above us partying til all hours and now we live in a three bedroom apartment so no one above us. Weird thing is the people directly across from us, a woman and her teen age sone, are sure weird. The woman was really nice and overly friendly but nice. Now for some reason she has turned paranoid. When my daughter is outside the same time she is she makes insulting gibes at her. Like my daughter had better stay off her back step or she will set the mob on her. My daughter has never been on her back porch! She scrowls at her too. Too too weird.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
2 Mar 13
That lady sounds like she has a mental health problem. I am glad that your apartment is relatively quiet though and not having anyone living above you is a plus.It may not be perfect but y9u sound as if you are coping with them all right.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (119157)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Mar 13
Things have calmed down considerably.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
2 Mar 13
Well we have what we call the boys club in my neighborhood.....a bunch of the guys get together in a garage and discuss the issues of the neighborhood...and they all watch out for me!!! YUP....they all take care of me in one way or another...on watched my house while I was on vacation...one mows....one shot a woodchuck that got into my garage....I am a lucky girl. Unfortunatley there are no women who live around here..sometimes that is a good thing because no one is knocking on my door looking to sit around and gossip or have coffee....I say that because when I am home I am usually working too.....like now getting ready for the first craft sale of the season.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
2 Mar 13
Oh, that sounds wonderful and you must feel safe having all these men looking out for you. This is good. Yu will have to show us some of your crafts again this year. Good luck with your sale
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49880)
• United States
2 Mar 13
It's amazing how people can act like they're being wronged, when they are in fact the ones committing the neighbor faux pas. The neighbor directly across from me keeps to himself. Unless of course he's ringing my doorbell at 6:30am, asking if he can come inside for a while. A man who has only said two words to me in four years. The neighbor next "door" to me is quite nice, unless she and her boyfriend have been drinking and they are in a shouting match at 3am. Oh, did I mention they leave their patio door open all year round and you can hear everything they say? But the last neighbor on my floor is ever unpredictable. One week it's a lady yelling at me because she doesn't like how I park in my space. The next week it is a man who lets his cat poop in front of my front door. I don't actually know who is living there now. Perhaps a woman named Vicki. Because an unwashed man and woman came today knocking on my door looking for Vicki. My parents have awesome neighbors. I'm so glad for that at least.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
2 Mar 13
Dear Lord in heaven. How do you cope? It would drive me insane. youb have so mnay unpredictable people around you. This is awful for you and far worse than mine
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (9193)
• United States
1 Mar 13
Your neighbor seems so paranoid over something, but of what, I just can't imagine. Maybe she has done something and now she doesn't want that to happen to her so she's being this crazy. Good thing you have the other neighbor's good graces and positive attitude to make your life there still better than most. I am not friends with all our neighbors, but I like them all enough. They say hi and wave whenever I pass by their houses walking the dog, or going to the mailbox. They would advise beforehand if they will have some people over for the night for some party and that they will be having some music and if we are okay for a few hours of loud music. Whenever we have some extra food, we share these with them. It is easy to be nice when people are also nice with you.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
2 Mar 13
Yes, it is esier to be nice when people are nicer to you. She does have some kind of probem and does not treat her workers in the house very well either. They are always quitting on the job and new ones appear. If she doesn't pay their national health deductions then they will not get any pension in their old age so I hope that she is doing this. Oyher lawyers have tolf me that she is n ot cooperative so is not getting a good reputation as a lawyer either
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2452)
• Lippstadt, Germany
5 Mar 13
hi dear Cynthie let me answer with one word only and say, "pests".LOL. You lucky one can enjoy the company of one nice neighbour and I think that should make up for that other nasty one......But we dont have such great neighbours here in the house. Our direct neighbours here on first floor are loud, demanding as they own their apartment and think they can do and get away with everything as we are tenants only .
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
5 Mar 13
That is not a good position to be in either. I so hate loud and noisy people. I do hope that something will make them become quiet to give you both some peace
• Lippstadt, Germany
5 Mar 13
LOL them moving out would be the best but they wont as they own that apartment, bad luck for me------
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
5 Mar 13
If only they would change their behaviour
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
5 Mar 13
That is so unpleasant to have to live by someone like that. I use to be really close to two of my neighbors but i'm not anymore. I hate it but felt like i was in the right & i still do. They have the same britches to get glad in that they had to get mad in. Figure it's there loss. I'm a grown woman & i don't play little girl games w/anyone.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
5 Mar 13
They have the same britches to get glad in that they had to get mad in I just love your expressions Jo. They are so down to earth and just RIGHT for the occasion. I am so glad to be on your tream! You make me feel so good
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Thanks Cynthi.I'm glad we are on the same team to.
@artemeis (4070)
• China
3 Mar 13
I think whatever animosity your neighbor is having with you is not your doing than that of your almost ex daughter-in-law who might have said some unpleasant things about you behind your back. Credit must be given to her for being so convincing too. It is your neighbor's loss than yours here. I simply believe your good character will triumph and win her heart eventually. Let her build her shelter for earthquake while you build one for a tsunami, I am sure she will eventually come to you because nowadays earthquakes seems to precede the massive tsunami.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
3 Mar 13
I love your way of thinking! Fortunately I live in the hills way above sea level so relatively safe. I will continue to greet her an pretend not to notice that she does n ot respond. Sorry for the children though. Restricted to their garden and yet they can see the othern kids playing happily together
@artemeis (4070)
• China
3 Mar 13
Oh! For the children, I am thinking of an open gambit where you let your twins and the other children have such a ball of their time that the whole neighborhood will hear of it. Fun and laughter are just so contagious that it can become your pawns. I am sure the children at the other end will be convinced otherwise.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
4 Mar 13
Luckily, both my immediate neighbors now, to the left and to the right seem to be the workaholic types. They never seem to be around all the time. The one slightly to the left across us I categorize as a 'weird' one. She has two kids who are maybe a year older than my 12 year old (I think the other one is the same age as my son), and they used to play together. Her kids used to stay in my house for hours to play video games. One day she just turned. She stopped talking to all the neighbors, and didn't allow her kids out of the house anymore.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
4 Mar 13
Yep! You can find the weird ones anywhere and in any country
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
4 Mar 13
If neighbors not interfere in my house and not came again and again then I like them but if they came anytime and talking with my MIL or with me and waste our time then feel boring and hate them. We are lucky our neighbor is good because we meet only occasionally. Some neighbors habits demanding sugar or anything I not like this.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
4 Mar 13
Yes, I understand that hou do not like people borrowing food from you. I am glad that your neighbours are good people
• India
3 Mar 13
I have wonderful, helpful and cooperative neighbors in my colony. We all gel like one big family. We treat each other over meals, talk so much and enjoy all the festivals together. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by my neighbors.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
4 Mar 13
You are indeed very blessed and I am so happy for you