are they just concern or too nosy to know when i'm gonna get married?!

@missjahn (4578)
Philippines
March 2, 2013 10:19pm CST
few years ago when i was just in first year college, my friends asked me when to get married. i answered them i will just get married when i will finish my studies in college. and now, it is my final sem and our graduation will be on the 25th day of march, i am positively hoping that i will march for our graduation. and then, just few months ago - my office mates asked me if i will get married this summer. oh my! i was astounded really and i do not know how to answer it. it was really our plan but not it was not precise yet, i mean not exact date yet and it really needs preparations including financial, emotional, psychological stability states. and then, just few hours ago, my sister called me then asked me when should i get married. i really hate it when they already threw me questions like that. it will really send me shivers to the bone and of uncertainties. she also told me that she wanted me to have a baby to play with. again, i do not know what to feel. but many times, i am really thinking that how scary is married life. for now, this final month grabs my time so much. i guess we will talk that marrying thing after getting settled with my projects and requirements. it needs thorough plannings and critical scheming. but - married life isn't that bad or hard?! i am just scared? but this thing is not stating that i do not love my boyfriend. it is just that i am scared with life with responsibilities and such. how is it guys?!
7 responses
@giex22 (273)
• Cebu, Philippines
3 Mar 13
You are just like of my workmate, he usually utter to me that she hates hearing her aunties and uncles saying when will you have a boyfriend/ when will you get married. She doesn't feel so good every time she hears it. All that she want as of now is enjoying life as a single and that she's not still prepared to commit to somebody for a long period of time b'coz she thinks it is hard for her to move but, time comes if her emotion, psychological and financial is stable she would probably get married.
@giex22 (273)
• Cebu, Philippines
3 Mar 13
Yes, that is true, getting married is so difficult, you have to be responsible all the time. hahaha yeah time comes you will be getting married to your best man and if it comes you are probably ready. :)
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
thanks for agreeing with me. haha! and so i hope that my boyfriend is the best man in the whole world even if it so exaggerated to say like that. well i guess, this is a fate given by God to me. so whatever happened in my life will be all up with God's plan. so thanks again for dropping :) best wishes for you :)
@giex22 (273)
• Cebu, Philippines
4 Mar 13
You're welcome. We all look as our boyfriend is the best man in the world hehehehe. Yeah, its up to all God's plan.
@SIMPLYD (81467)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
Because of your previous pronouncement about getting married after graduation, certainly the people you told that about will be again wondering if it will really push through. But anyway, so they won't be bothering you much of asking, maybe you should give them a pronouncement again when they asked that you both decided that you will prepare for it financially & emotionally. Sometimes, people can get into the nerves, specially with things such as that.
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
hahah i agree with you. and i want to regret for saying that. it was because, they saw me and my boyfriend so close that was why they asked me when to get married. so to stop the talking about it, i just answered them that maybe after graduation. i did it with intention but i am sure with myself that i am not sure of doing it - haha! yes, i will make pronouncements if i am all ready by all states. thanks simplyd hehe
@SIMPLYD (81467)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
People can be so nosy specially when they see two lovers always going together, much more if there is so much closeness. They think that being close or affectionate to each other would already mean getting married.
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
indeed! i guess one of the natures of human is being nosy hehe! and now i am having hardship in explaining to them when should i get married haha
@mythociate (15740)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
5 Mar 13
For a second there I thought you were making an open proposal to whoever hears you But I guess you're not---that there's already a boyfriend, and IT'S NOT ME! (is it? ) I guess that is to say, IT'S NOT JUST YOU! You ought to consider your boyfriend as a part of your life (talking about yourself in the plural---WE are getting married, OUR friends asked US to get married, etc.) And all the WEDDING-plans (if you haven't been plotting-out every detail since you were a little girl LOL) SHOULD be taken care-of by your parents; if not them, then HIS parents; and if not them, WHO CARES? What YOU (you AND he) have to worry about is your new life together---it IS what you've been getting ready for your whole pre-marriage life, yes? It comes at you like a deadly accident (like the one that caused my brain-damage): you're never "ready for it"; but life goes on anyway, just differently. i.e. Now, your life is just 'doing your jobs' (school, work, myLot, etc.); then, it'll be 'DIFFERENT jobs' (take care of the kids, worry about money, myLot, etc.) And hopefully myLot and your neighbors & church will help (especially as you help them when you can).
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
thanks myth... this message of you somehow enlighten my mind. oh gosh, i just do not know how to handle another responsibility from what is normal thing to do. but i guess, everything will be learned if new things will occur in life. and before deciding things, i hope God will bear with me. so thanks myth :)
@stanley777 (7177)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
Maybe they are and they have thought it's about time for you to settle down. Like what your sister had joked or really like. It's your life they are talking about and I know how you felt about settling down. Getting married is easy it's the life after, that is a bit complicated what I mean is, it should be planned.
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
you are right stan. very easy word, that is what i am telling them. i hope they will understand it. life is not so easy nowadays. but if it will really happened, i am hoping that it will occur in right time, in HIS time. thanks for joining here :)
@Raine38 (9193)
• United States
3 Mar 13
Marriage is a decision that you and your boyfriend must agree on and not because people around you are being nosy or concern and that you will just give in to the pressure. Remember, this is a life altering decision that only you should make and not because someone else dictated you to do so. Married life is no better and no worse than being single. Both have their own issues and problems to deal with. The only factor that makes it any better or worse than someone else's (if you really chose to make a comparison that way) are the people involved. Like if your partner is not a good potential husband and have a lot of growing up to do, then it is better to remain single for now.
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
thanks raine. i so know that thing. above all the teases and dictations, it must my decision will prevail. because i understand that marriage will be between you and your partner and that i you are dealing with problems, the people surrounds may give their advices but it is you and your husband will solve it. you cannot call your parents and siblings for a help all the time. marriage is tells about your obligations and stability. so if you are ready to get into marriage, be sure that you are all prepared at least even not perfectly. so thanks for joining here ;)
@alberello (4755)
• Italy
3 Mar 13
Well, even though this topic is out of my price range, this is because I have never been involved in a romantic relationship, I do not want to get married but I want to stay single forever, I suppose, however, that the marriage is not something to be taken too lightly. For this reason, your boyfriend may want to speed up a little too much the time by asking you "the hand". However, we must first understand if you two are really ready for this important step in life! However started to pick a target at a time. Now think of the degree, then, calmly, you will face this delicate decision. This is my personal advice.
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
thanks for this wonderful and sensible advice my friend. yes, i want to be in the fit and right timing of making things happen like of marriage, even myself would say that my age is ripe already. but so to say that it is not base of getting married is not of age only. there are lots of things to be considered. your stability of all aspects is important. even all the people said that marriage is not to be planned coz it will just come anytime but for me, it is still good to be prepared than to regret it afterwards. sot thanks for joining here :))
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
3 Mar 13
missjahn: meeting you after a long time. good. Your scare is natural. Select a good partner after verifying fully about him. Let the views do not clash with each other. best wishes
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
3 Mar 13
hello sir ravs... it is good to see around once more. i know my partner and like everyone else, he has a good point and negative traits as well. and i know that all of him and all about him must be accepted no matter what and that love will end till eternity. haist.. that is life but should thank you for you appearance here sir ravs --- God bless :)))