Well she took the loser back.......:(
By trisha27
@trisha27 (3494)
United States
March 3, 2013 4:12pm CST
I talked to her yesterday and I got to learn a lot more of what happened. But well, my friend had the loser back at her house again last night. After I just talked to her a couple of days back. Now more things have been brought back to the light and well he is back with her and living with her. Using her and spending all her money. Well, now she really doesn't have any money. Supposedly because she lost her job because of him and lost her car because of him. Supposedly she lost her job, because she works from home and he broke her computer. So for those few days that she couldn't work, she worked as a work at home customer service agent and well she needed her computer to work. Well, he broke it so for the time she didn't have her computer, the company just up and fired her. She told me yesterday that she was working at another job and she's going through training right now. I guess, she got her computer fixed. Okay, then she was saying that she was with her boyfriend again and they were going to do some stuff together. She lost her car because she took out a loan and the loan was under her car and basically since she didn't have a job, they repod her car. (Really) he talked her into taking out a loan on her car. She had been struggling all this time because of him, like I said in a last discussion, she has 2 babies.
Anyways, she took him back and he is back living in her house. I told my husband what happened and he was like I expected it and after she told us she wouldn't take him back. That she was going to focus on her children and focus on God. But I guess not cause now she's back with him and he's still not working and living off of her. Then why the heck would you take him back. I give up, I am no longer giving her any more advice. I don't want to hear it any more if she calls me up crying because she lost her job and he isn't out there looking for a job. 
I no longer want to hear it. I hate to be that way cause she's my friend. But she knows what needs to be done and only she can change that.
I no longer want to hear it. I hate to be that way cause she's my friend. But she knows what needs to be done and only she can change that.2 people like this
14 responses
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
3 Mar 13
They seem to always take the losers back. Why is that? To me , once they show their true colors.. they need to hit the road Jack. Before the door hits them in the behind.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
3 Mar 13
I know, I do. I stayed 5-6 more years after mine went nuts on me. But I did it because we had a son together.
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
4 Mar 13
I know how disappointing it is to see a friend go through something so wrong. I had a friend like that once. It took her over 3 years to finally get rid of him. I was in the same situation you were in. I even went to help her move one weekend. Stood out in the rain in the middle of November while she argued with him about what she could take.... got her meager twin bed, dresser, clothes and small tv moved into my house and she went right back to him the same night. After that mess I washed my hands of the situation. Hopefully your friend will come to her senses. I wouldn't worry too much about it though.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Well, she has only lived with him for almost a year. I hope she gets a wake up call soon. I know that I will be there for her if she ever needs a place to stay even though she lives hundreds of miles away. But I'm done with giving her advice I'm done with hearing her cry over the phone. Basically like I said I don't want to hear it any more. She is the one that put herself in this situation and when its time, she can get herself out of the situation one way or another. She will eventually hit her breaking point and hopefully be done with him for good.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
3 Mar 13
The trouble is that your friend thinks that no decent man will have her and he is the only man that she deserves. That I feel is the trouble with a lot of these women who have lazy bums living off them like leeches. They hate themselves and feels that they deserve it. Yes she has to kick him out. He is not helping her and in fact he is making sure that she goes down to the level that he is and that is wrong.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
4 Mar 13
Neither do I, but when I watch Dr. Phil and the Maury Show, I understand it has to do with lack of self-esteem and also what others think of you. I had a taste of it when I was young, that I was not good enough. But at least I did not live with the guy, it was a fling. But I was told that no decent man would have me because of what I did. Then I found out, well I did deserve a decent man and he married me not because he was tolerant but because he loved me.
So keep on convincing her that she deserves someone who would really love her and not a leech.
@celticeagle (159002)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Mar 13
Maybe you could find her a book on co-dependency. If she understood what the real situation was maybe she could muster the courage to leave him at some point. Sounds like she has had some hard times. Hopefully things will get better for her.
@celticeagle (159002)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Mar 13
Sometimes it takes alot for these type of woman to see what is happening to them because of the men they are choosing. I hope she comes out of it okay.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I think that I will do that for her and hopefully she reads it. I hope that one day that she will get the courage and realize that she doesn't deserve a man like this and deserves someone way better then him, and go out there and find someone that is right for her. She is really in some hard times right now, basically from what she told me. I just hope things get better for her, but if things keep on getting worse for her, maybe eventually that will open up her eyes for her to see that this guy is doing nothing more then just bringing her down.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
Her reasons are blinded because of foolishly being in love with that guy. I hope she realizes that she really need to let go of the relationship before something worse could happen to her.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
4 Mar 13
Oh man! Why did she do that? Why won't she ever learn? Last time I checked, there is not shortage of men on the planet so why can't she finally kick him out of their lives. I mean don't mind that she doesn't have that much care about herself, at least do that for her own kids, right?
I understand your feelings, as my former friend was almost in the same situation. Her husband would hit her and he didn't finish school. Her mom even offered to pay for his schooling but only managed to finish one semester because he got bored or something. Now she's the breadwinner and they already have 3 kids. The situation is still the same. And I guess she also figure that she cannot have anymore sympathy from me. I don't know what to tell her anymore and I refuse to feel depress and mad for her behalf just because she is letting this happen to her.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
4 Mar 13
I'm not sure why she took him back but somehow he really weazled himself right back into her house. I think most guys do this because they know that these women are so vulnerable they will take them back no matter what they do to them. That is so sad about your friend as well and yeah it almost sounds like the same situation except as far as I know, he hasn't hit her. But I don't think she would tell me if he did. But anyways, I'm to that point as well that I no longer don't want to hear about what he has done or hasn't done, because I'm tired of feeling depressed for her too and sorry for her. I want to have happy days and not upset days. Her and I are like really good friends, she is like a little sister to me, we have grown up together and have been friends since we were in elementary school. And its sad to have seen all the things that have happened to her, but I'm pretty much done. She in the end has to make the decision and you're right she shouldn't come crying to you or my friend shouldn't come crying to me, when they are the ones that put themselves in that situation.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Some people just need to learn for themselves before ever giving up and changing things. What is sad is she has children, and has lost her car, etc. because of him, and then offers to let him back into her life. I would have a hard time wanting to be friends with someone like this, especially if I had helped them in any way, and offered a lot of hope and support. Hopefully something good can happen to have this woman wake up and kick him out the door for good before things happen in her life to make things even worse.
@machatago (385)
• Philippines
3 Mar 13
I think the reason women like these take their partner back is because they think they can't live without their partner or feel lonely and nobody else would want her anymore. I don't know but that's what I observe. You're there being a friend and she cries up again then be firm to her that what she needs is a wake up call. Sometimes women like these would never wake up and it's so sad.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
4 Mar 13
I think this is how she is feeling and especially about she doesn't want to be alone any more. And she feels like she will never find another guy so she is willing to take anyone into her life. I have said countless of times its time to wake up and move on, but yet she hasn't woken up. I'm not sure when she will wake up, but I'm done with telling her to wake up. Next time I'm just going to be like, I don't want to hear it. Talk about something else.
@choconut (297)
• Philippines
3 Mar 13
Based on your story, I wouldn't take that man back, it'll be stupid of me to take him back after the hell I went through because of him, I would just focus on my babies and work and not to look for another headache. But have you tried asking her why she took that loser back? Have you tried making a sense to her, or did she just sat there while you ramble on things and she's physically there but mentally absent? I'll pray for your friend hopefully she'll see the light.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
3 Mar 13
I haven't asked her the reason why she took him back, but I ask why does she stay with him after all he's put her through, its just cause she loves him. I have tried lots of times and it seems like she listens, but partly she's not there either. My husband tried talking reason to her too from a guys point of view and still nothing. I guess that's why I've given up. That's the only thing I can do now is just pray for her.
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Mar 13
That is really sad that she took him back but you saw it coming... I don't understand why she would do that all over again. Why not forget about him? Move on and eventually find someone better? I just don't get some people.
I don't blame you either for not wanting to give her anymore advice. When someone gives their advice and it just gets ignored all the time it gets tiring. I know I would feel the same way. You start to feel like why bother? She will do whatever it is she wants to do and no one can change things except for her.
Maybe one day she will change her life for good-without him. Everyone has their breaking point, someday she will hit hers.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Well, your friend seems loss and doesn't live up to her own words. No wonder... things are getting messed up again. I am sorry to say this about your friend. I don't see why she needs the man when she is better off living without him. He is a burden and a scum who needs to be thrown out.
I guess it will be better for you to leave your friend for now and let her do whatever. If she calls you at night, just tell her I told you so. Or you could tell her in advance that if anything goes wrong, you won't be wanting to give advice again to her. It is bad, but she is disrespecting herself.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
5 Mar 13
Sad to hear about your friend story. I wonder why he broke her computer? As you mentioned she is doing home jobs, computer is necessary for her. Anyway she got her system back.
@Nandita2013 (132)
• India
5 Mar 13
Who would like to take such a person back to their life? Your friend is blindly in love with him ane he knows that very well so he is using her to the limits. He knows she will do all the work for him so what has he to think of rather than just enjoying his life and making her life hell. I am sure your friends gonna regret this decission of taking him back. You have done everything as a friend now its her life she has to think about her children.
@gkutti (111)
•
10 Mar 13
well i saw it coming, by the way, she is in no way going to listen to you. do not blame her, may be she thinks she sees something in him. but i do not believe that people can actually speak people into risking their lives. you need to do something right, i understand that are tierd of her crying, but try doing something lest you feel some guilt later on. good luck to you and your friend. keep us informed, we are concerned.
