how to tell your loved ones you have cancer?

Philippines
March 3, 2013 4:45pm CST
a friend just discovered she has cervical cancer. she told us, her friends, first about her condition. her husband and family doesn't know it yet. she's actually concerned about her oldest son. she said he's too emotional that when they attended the wake of a neighbor who passed away, he really cried hard when they got home. she doesn't know how to tell her family about her condition. i just think she better tell it to them personally before they hear it from other people.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@danix1982 (593)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
hope she will be okay for her son, i think try to talk to her family heart to heart and tell them about her condition so that the treatment will begin, but don't let her son know about this thing because a kid is hard to understand this kind of situation. just tell your friend to always pray and think positive and has miracle, and ofcourse do the treatment as the doctor said. Godbless.. :)
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
100% agree. he can make things no one has ever imagined.
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
i actually told her to believe that she will get well, i think that no matter how many medicines she take and treatments she undergo, if she doesn't believe in god and that she will get well, nothing will really happen.
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
yes really nothing is impossible to God as long as you believe in him and you have strong faith in him. :)
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
3 Mar 13
it is not fair the whole world knows her condition except her family. You know her condition I know her condition and so with the whole cyber world. she better tell them so she will be comforted.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
4 Mar 13
Thanks to you. hey it is okay we don't know her anyway, I hope all is well with her too
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
i believe she will be okay. she must not lose to this disease. she has 2-year old twins both girls. they still need her.
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
well thanks to me mylotters know it already. i haven't seen him for days. i hpe she has told her family about it.
@marguicha (214294)
• Chile
8 Mar 13
Cancer is an illness. And the best way to deal with it (as with any other illness) is by having the support of the people you love. How can you have it if you don`t tell them what is it about? True, some people will not be able to help as the news might be too devastating for them. But still she has to summon them and tell them as she would any other news. How is she? Not all cancers are terminal.
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
i'm actually worried about her. according to the latest results, she has stage 3 cervical cancer. i just saw her yesterday. according to her, she has told her husband about her condition. i don't know with the children.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
3 Mar 13
She really owes her family the truth. At least let them know how she want them to take care of her. Not that is is the end, but at least feeling the love of the family during these times would somehow ease her the pain that she is suffering.
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
sorry this post should've been for the other response. i think when she feels that her family especially the kids love her, she will find courage and have more reason to fight this disease.
• India
28 Mar 13
cancer is the dangerous ill in life.
• Philippines
29 Mar 13
yes, i agree with you. and most of the time you'll never know it until you're in stage 2 or 3.
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
It would be hard to tell them, but there is no other choice than to tell them, anticipating all the pain that the family would feel. They must know because they will be the greatest that will be affected, in all aspects. Trust that the Lord would take hold of their hearts and yours. I just attended a wake this week of a church brother who fought with cancer for four years. The family went though all the pain and struggle altogether by being present in all his treatments and all the fund raising activities. He was very much loved, but the best thing that happened is that the family really got closer as they each faced every single day. I hope your friend gets well, I know a lot of friends that fought and was healed. Her son will eventually learn how to accept it. This will teach him how to be a stronger person.
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
i'm actually worried about her mental condition. i feel like she's giving up. she keeps repeating she's going to die. i think if she really wants to be healed, she has to believe that she will get healed.
@youless (112096)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Mar 13
The cancer sounds to be terrible. However, in fact the cervical cancer is not that serious and it is easy to be cured compares to other cancers. It is just a little operation. So your friend shall not be so worried about it. And she shall tell it to her family so that others can share it with her. The family's support is so important.
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
the doctor said she had to undergo chemotherapy. i don't really have any idea about that disease though.
@choconut (297)
• Philippines
3 Mar 13
it's really difficult to tell your loved ones about this conditions but she has to, and there's no other option. It would be best if she talks to her husband first and both of them decide how to tell the kids. If she's really having trouble telling it to him, she can talk with her doctor and tell her doctor that pretend she'll be hearing the condition the first time, to make it easier. Then she schedule an appointment, and she could tell her husband that for example "hon, i've been feeling a bit off lately and i went for a check up a few days ago and they told me my results are coming out tomorrow, would you come with me?" she could put it that way, so when the doctor tells her she has CA the husband would be there. But if she couldn't do that, maybe tell her husband to come with her to one check up session and on the way she tells him her disease.. suggestion only, but she would still be the one to decide how to tell him.
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
her husband knows she's sick. but not really after the findings have been confirmed. i think you have a good suggestion about bringing the husband to the doctor. that way, the burden will be on the doctor and not her. i think doctors are really good with delivering bad news to their patients.
@imsippy (47)
• India
4 Mar 13
if you love your love,,,you just not to tell her/him that you have cancer,,,you just ignore your love,,,and make your love feel that you don't love your love,,,because if you would die then your love would not cry for you,,,,,that's love my friend
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
can't you be at least optimistic that she will heal? i think she needs the support of her family at this point in her life.
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
3 Mar 13
the best thing for her to do is to talk to the husband first so that they can plan out the actions that they will need to follow as for the kids i am sure that they will be upset but they can be told that it was caught early enough and that she is going to be fine but they she may be gone for a few days and might need there help when she comes home and what i mean with that is to help keep things picked up then they will understand they are just helping till mom gets better and that she just needs the rest for a few days cancer is scary thing but as a family in whole working together can beat the fears
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
i agree with you. because of the treatment, the mom can do less physically and that's where the kids can help. her husband can't stop working so i thin it's a great way to get the help of the children.
• Quezon, Philippines
4 Mar 13
Yes, its better to tell her husband about her sick. I know its really hard for them to accept. But in her case her family it helps her a lot to support her condition.
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
i think she really needs a lot of emotional help that only her family can give her. i really wish she will conquer this illness.
@king2020 (26)
• Malaysia
4 Mar 13
hi I have had cancer for tow years now I am stage 4 but I have always felt ok. When we found out how sick I was my husband and daughter were in the room with me and it was very difficult for all of us. But I felt it was important to let everyone know what was going on because if one of my loved ones was ill I would want to know my 18 year old daughter got on the phone and called my mom, some friends, and my old employer and ask them to pass the word to other people who knew me. the support was incredible people came out of the workwook it help with rides, meals, financial, anything we needed. our family laughs and play with the cancer they call me baldy when i lost me hair, i let my son shave my head, and we joke about getting special treatment when using "the cancer card" people are funny when they find out they have to touch you even the tellers at the bank who you have talked to for years just reach out and grab your hand. my children are now 20, 18, 17 and we are all sad that i may not be here forever but now we cherish every day we have...I feel talking about it helps alot and I like to laugh so I do that alot also..let people help you it makes them feel good also.
• Philippines
4 Mar 13
people like you give me courage to live. it's kind of weird but i can really feel you're happy with your life. maybe because you will loved by the people you love the most.