Is there a way to keep your children from fighting?

@dorannmwin (36698)
United States
March 4, 2013 3:52pm CST
You know I have to admit that the most enjoyable part of my day is the part where my children are at school because they are not at home bickering. It seems that just as soon as they walk in the door in the afternoon, they immediately start fighting with one another and it really is something that does drive me quite nuts. I have asked them many times to quit fighting with each other. I've punished them and even grounded them from things that they really enjoy in an effort to keep them from fighting and bickering all the time. Of course these have all things that have been to no avail. I just wondered if there might be other mylotters out there that might have some suggestions that will be effective in getting my children to get along with each other more often.
3 people like this
18 responses
@ShyBear88 (17678)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I've seen online parents putting there kids I'm a t sheet till they get alone with each other. On the shirts say stuck together till we learn to get along with each other.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Someone else said something about this as well and though it does seem silly it also seems like something that I would be willing to give a try because it might well be something that will work out well for Kathryn and Paul.
@ShyBear88 (17678)
• United States
6 Mar 13
Fighting is pretty normal with siblings. My brothers andi did that for years till one day it stopped. They grow up and thn I grew up.now whenever really fight at all.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
6 Mar 13
There are still times that my brother, sister and myself will have our disagreements, but I can't think of a single time in several years that our disagreements have come to physically fighting with one another.
@redredrose (1107)
• United States
4 Mar 13
When i was little my mom had me pr my sister when we fought sit down facing each other with our noses touching and we couldn't say a word. it was so stupid to us that it was funny that we started laughing and soon stopped fighting. Not sure this will work with your kids but give it a try.
• United States
4 Mar 13
Typo that should say my mom had me or my brother or sister.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
That is a very different take on the thing that my parents tried to do with us when we were growing up. This might actually be a solution that I would be willing to give a chance.
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
4 Mar 13
I saw the funniest picture once which helped with this. When I saw it I thought wow that would end sibling fights fast. It was a picture of a brother and sister in a large t-shirt and on it was printed "our get along shirt". What the parent did was put them in one shirt both sharing the neck and each was able to put one arm out in the sleeve closest to them. They had to wear this shirt when they were fighting. Which means they have to be very close to each other and go with each other every where. I remember laughing thinking this would have helped with my daughters a lot. They would have stopped fighting just to not have to wear that shirt around. Can't hurt to give it a try. Good luck!!
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
4 Mar 13
wow! What a good idea. It could work with some families
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
When we were little my parents would make us sit on the couch and hug and kiss each other for five minutes to get us to get along. However, there were times that would turn into more fighting. I like the idea of getting a big t-shirt and using it as their get along shirt.
@salonga (27957)
• Philippines
9 Mar 13
Kids eating together - This time they are eating together, later they will fight.
Oh dear, I think it is but normal for kids to fight because if not then only your kids fight. But my little ones do also and that my friends and neighbors do fight as well. But the beautiful thing is that after fighting is is just easy for them to kiss and make up. If they don't then that is perhaps one problem. But kids are just so easy to appease so they can always forgive and forget. You know what, based on my experience as a kid, fighting could not be avoided because kids don't know yet what is right and wrong. This is the reason why we parents should be guiding them and teaching them the right things. Of course, sometimes, it is disappointing to see that it seems they are not learning no matter how we tried to teach them no to do this and that but all our teachings are stored in their sub-conscious mind. Even our good examples will make a big impact in their lives. As they grow older, you will notice they will change for the better. For as long as they taught and trained the right way and good examples are shown by the parents and adults around them, there is no reason why they won't grow to be good children. Just be patient with them. Soon they will change.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
9 Mar 13
I like to hope that the fact that my children don't see us fighting with each other is something that is good for them. I actually do think, however, the reason that my children fight is because they are getting a little bit older and trying to express their own independence.
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
8 Mar 13
Hello dorannmwin. When I and my younger brother would get angry with each other we would chase each other up and down the hall with a broom or mop. It would appear that we were going to kill each other by bashing the other one's brains. some how we never did hit each other. I was eight or nine and he was five or six. A neighbor boy thought he should help my little brother but soon changed his mind because we both turned on him. We were close and very protective of each other. my own girls would get into arguments as they got into the early teen year. I often tried different ways to stop their fighting by trying to get them to see the other one's side. I finally gave up. They would work thing out. I believe that the fighting among siblings help them to learn how to get along with others and how to handle different situation I finally learned to get away from them or to send them where I didn't have to hear them bickering. It seemed that when I stopped try to get them to get along the bickering slowed down a lot.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
8 Mar 13
You've kind of described my children here. They will fight like cats and dogs at home, but when it comes to another child bullying one of the two of them they are definitely going to team up and work together. I know that they have their times that they don't agree with each other, but I think they also do know that they are going to be a part of each other's lives throughout everything.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
6 Mar 13
I got a 12 year old, and a 6 year old. Both boys! And they do bicker quite a lot. And it also drives me nuts at times too. I've always resorted to the 5-minute hug as punishment for them. Sometimes 10-minutes if they did something bigger. Anyway, they almost always don't complete the time-punishment as they end up laughing and rolling on the floor together when they start doing something while being stuck to the other.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
6 Mar 13
I've tried the hugging thing in the past with them but it hasn't worked with the two of them and I believe the reason that it hasn't worked is because of the fact that they are both very strong willed children.
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
6 Mar 13
TrĀ„ to find a way to keep them separated as much as possible. They will grow up eventually. My children fought until the youngest became a teenager. For some reason, the fighting stopped then.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
6 Mar 13
I do what I can to keep them separated, but it isn't always something that is possible, especially on days like today when the weather outside is really crappy and they are not able to go outside and play with their friends.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
5 Mar 13
My kids fought all the time....when all three of them were together.....but when one was missing it was pretty peaceful....they are all grown up now and are a tight knit group! They sometimes have a problem letting others into their conversations etc when they are together which isn't very often! I don't know how you can get them to stop. I never could!
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
When I was a child I remember fighting often with my brother and my sister. However, we are all grown now and I don't really think that there are more siblings that are closer than the three of us are. I know that I would be very hurt if something were to happen to either my brother or my sister as we are so very close with each other.
• United States
5 Mar 13
It is very hard getting kids to get along sometimes. When my 3 three boys were younger I did the stand and face each other thing only I had them put their arms around each other and repeat " I am sorry and I love you" over and over to each other until they were laughing and getting along. They didn't fight much cuz I'd give them one warning and it was usually over because they didn't want to do this. Good luck!
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I really like the idea that the other people shared about having to sit there with their noses touching. I imagine that the first time that I do this with my children they will dissolve into laughter and will be getting along in pretty much no time flat.
@roshigo58 (4871)
• Pune, India
5 Mar 13
Hi, i don't have any experience of fighting children because I have only one son. Now he is 24 years old but when he was small there was always fighting between my son and his mom. But my sister's children always fight with each other and there is no solution to it. We can only shout at them or beat them. But I don't like to beat children. Fighting is part of their life which is very irritating part of our life. But after they grow up all is well.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Growing up there were plenty of times that I got spankings. Now that I have children of my own, I do know that there are times that they need a spanking, but this is something that I reserve only for times that they are putting themselves or others in immediate and imminent danger.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
5 Mar 13
My parents finally was tired of us bickering all the time. They made us stand in the middle of the room and hug each other until we both apologized and told each other that we loved the other one. It took a few times of being bullheaded and having to stand there, but after a couple of times, if Mom even threatened, we ran our separate ways and found a way to get along.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I can definitely see that I was not alone in having to sit there and hug and kiss my siblings and tell them that I loved them while I was growing up. It was effective for me as a child but for my daughter and my son, this hasn't really been something that has been effective since I've tried it in the past.
@bunnybon7 (37169)
• Holiday, Florida
5 Mar 13
maybe what one person said about making them sit with noses together? i had no siblings but when i would argue with cousins my mom would make us hug each other and say sorry. that helped sometimes with my kids to. even tho they would still be mad sometimes they wouldnt fuss in front of me or where i could hear, as they didnt want to have to hug when they were mad!
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
My parents also did the hugging and kissing thing when we were growing up. However, that was sometimes something that would lead to more fights. I really do like the idea of sitting with their noses touching so that is something that I will at least give a shot in our house.
@ally12 (1204)
• Philippines
5 Mar 13
I have not experienced this yet as a mother of 6 and 21 months girls but as a child before I have lots of moments of fighting with my younger sister. we just hate each other, well maybe jealousy is there and that was never addressed well by our parents so til now we are in thirties I would say we are still the very good err enemies.. What Im trying to say here is as the one of the once til now (perpetrator) of fights all I just wanted was to be asked why and what makes me so ill feeling with my sister. What I dont like , why I hate her so..and not always be spanked and scolded because I had fight with her. Tho maybe its different with your children..I hope grudges between them are not that serious and just in a normal level I say. I think siblings fight is but normal. All just needed is for a talk and listening. Children has emotional issues too that are should be dealt properly. And children are sometimes easier to manage by diplomatic way rather of spanking. You can beat them and for all they would care. Talk to them with love and understanding and youll see the difference. Good luck Mommy dorannmwin !
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Luckily with my two children, it is typically just verbal disputes. There have been a few times that they have physically fought with one another, but this isn't something that they do all the time. If they were constantly hitting one another, I wouldn't be able to deal with that at all.
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
4 Mar 13
I suppose it works differently for different people. I honstly do not know. My children non the farm were always busy and so much to do that there was rarely a quarrel. Then my daughter came so mnay years after the boys that she had no one to quarrel with really. The grands are another matter but they may squabble a bit then make up quickly. They mostly fight with me
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Now occasionally my children will be doing their fighting with me, but more often it is the two of them squabbling. Today, however, they do seem to be getting along pretty well. They are in the living room right now watching a new movie that they just got the other day.
• United States
4 Mar 13
Tell me about it- my sisters fight 24/7!
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Oh, I definitely do remember plenty of times that I would fight with my brother and my sister while I was growing up. However, it wasn't something that was constant for me.
@lelin1123 (15644)
• Puerto Rico
4 Mar 13
There were five of us growing up with our parents. I was the oldest and tried to keep the peace but to no avail. It is the hardest thing to do to keep brothers and sisters from fighting. With punishments and all it just never seem to work. I would just try to keep them away from each other once they get home from school. Let them do their homework in separate rooms and then if they start to fight after homework then put them to work in the house or yard separately.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I do try to make sure that they have different things that the have interests in so that they aren't always together. However, when the weather has been pretty crappy as it has been lately, it is hard to just send them outside to play or something like that.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Mar 13
1. Sit down and do something with them / keep them occupied 2. lock them in a room and tell them they can't come out until they figure it out 3. As them to give you the solution (and consequences) 4. Make them eat brussel sprouts Seriously, fighting is just a normal sibling thing, and I'm not sure you should try and stop it altogether. They need to work some things out themselves. But if it gets to the point where it's scary, hurtful, or just going on your last nerve, you might try #3. Sometimes involving the child in the solution works pretty well.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I think that with the fact that they are getting a little bit older now that it might work to try getting them to give me some solutions to the issues that they are dealing with that cause the two of them to not be able to get along.
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
4 Mar 13
Siblings will always fight. I think just try to keep them happy and busy will cut it down alot. Good luck to you.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I do know that it is a truth that siblings are always going to fight. However, I do think that there are times that it was excessive with the way that my son and daughter fight with one another.