Their at it again!

@ctryhnny (3463)
United States
March 5, 2013 7:14am CST
It seems my son and his wife will do anything to spend money! The reason I find this a bad thing is that she is the only one who works in their family and she can't be making a lot of money. For starters they had an awesome king size bed for about 3 yeas. She got it in her head that they needed another bed. Now beds are very expensive and this one still looked new. She could have sold it for very near what they paid for it but no....she gave it away. Now they are looking for somwhere to go on a 'vacation'. They want to go somewhere where it is warm weather and of course they are taking the baby with them. Their also thinking of moving so you would think they are saving money for that and not going on vacation. It was just a few months ago that they took a trip to New York but they stayed at a friends house so at least they didn't spend a lot of money. Yes, I do a lot of worrying about things my kids do but as a Mom I don't want to see them making bad decisions. I know once summer comes their going to be looking for another vacation! I know them all too well.
3 people like this
13 responses
@Mavic123456 (9877)
• Thailand
5 Mar 13
maybe you don't know that she's receiving big money for her job. sometimes people don't share important details such as these... so take it is easy madame Ctyhnny.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
5 Mar 13
lol...I know for a fact that she makes around $300 a week which is not a lot of money for anyone with a family. She's actually checked her earnings online on my pc more than once.
• Thailand
5 Mar 13
but she might have other jobs that you don't know.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
8 Mar 13
Her only other job is helping take care of my grandson when she is not working.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar 13
On one side of the coin good luck to them if they have the money, then why not enjoy it whilst you have it, in this precarious world we live in no life is guaranteed and anything can happen to us, all well and good saving as long as we live long enough to enjoy what we save. On the other side of the coin, I am not sure what the employment situation is where they are but what if she loses her job, no job is secure and if they are always spending, what money do they have to fall back on, in case of emergencies? I can see both sides of their story here my friend. They may have a nest egg or financial back up that you are not aware off.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
8 Mar 13
Maybe it's their age but they definately don't think ahead to a time when they may have nothing in the bank. I know they don't save a penny because they have confided in me that they cant. They have no nest egg...believe me!
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
5 Mar 13
I would love to go on a vacation, but cannot afford it. I think with the King Sized bed, it could be the mattress and I know with my bed, the mattress is too hard and cannot afford a new one. I also know it is hard to sell a bed or anything for that matter so it might be that they had to give it away because no one would pay them for it. I suppose it was to Goodwill. As for vacation, they have to save the money separate from that in order to go somewhere, that is do not be like I used to be, either I do this or do that. Maybe suggest a cheaper place to go rather then off to the Caribbean or Mexico (I assume that is what they meant.)
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
5 Mar 13
They never actually save for anything but seem to be able to take a vacation whenever they feel like it...maybe she's selling her body on the side!...lol....
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
5 Mar 13
too bad they always feel the need to spend money. new stuff and holidays are nice but i guess i am too frugal to think that way. it is suprising how many people feel the need to spend money and keep up with the 'joneses' (not necessarily in your son's case but just in general). as for worrying about your kids, once a mother, always a mother. i know i am in my 50s and my mom still worries about me (we have had financial worries in the last couple of years and now i seem to have some issues with my heart.)
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I know when my Mom was alive and I was 62 she still worried about everything I did. My d/i/l is always coming up with things she/they have to buy! I'm also very frugal and do without a lot of things I would like to have but can't afford. That's the way life is. Everyone doesn't always get all the extras they would like...except her! lol...
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Well, she must be making some pretty good money to be able to do all that. I work full time and could not afford to give away a perfectly good bed and just replace it and I can't even remember the last time that I had a vacation. I definitly could not afford to support another adult and child and do all that on my income. What does she do for work? I'm a mom too and I know all about the worrying aspect of it. Still, as long as they seem to be doing fine and are not looking to borrow money and their bills are paid then I'd try to put it out of my mind. She must be making some very good money or is it possible that her parents help them out?
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
5 Mar 13
She works in a spa doing mostly waxings and facials. I can't imagine she could make that much money doing that. Not enough to take care of a family.
• South Korea
5 Mar 13
I think they might feel bad when you strike again for the second time. If you remind them once I think its enough.As long as they are not asking to you to pay for what they like then I think its totally fine, and I know you don't want them to choose the wrong path and you couldn't help but worry. But that's how they will learn something! by learning from their mistakes
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
5 Mar 13
You would think they learned from their mistakes but they really don't.
@Pegasus72 (1901)
7 Apr 13
I know my kids buy new things and I expect them too, like we did when we first started out. I warned them about not using credit, and so far they have paid cash for the things they have. I just hope they stay paying cash and don't rack up a bunch of bills.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
8 Mar 13
Hi there, maybe they will get a lesson if they got bancrupt because wasting so much money. do they have many debt in their credit card? but i think no matter how hard you warn it, they will stay like that
@cvodrey (227)
• United States
5 Mar 13
Well, how do you know she doesn't make a lot of money? If they make bad choices they will learn from them. It's normal for you to worry and care, but it doesn't do you any good. Mistakes are opportunities for learning. They should be fine.
@Raine38 (9116)
• United States
5 Mar 13
I can understand how you feel. You are after all, is just being a mother. But your son is already a grown man. He's got his own family now and they can make or correct mistakes as they see fit. It's their life and even if you want to, you can only influence them as much as they allow. If it will make you feel better, you can always remind them about their overspending habits. But you also have to prepare yourself for some consequences. One thing that is likely to happen is that they might start resenting you for it and mistake it for trying to take over their lives. They might take your concern the wrong way and the only thing that will make them realize what you are telling them is when everything starts falling apart when they run out of money. Which of course as a mother, you do not want to happen. Some people will never learn based on the experiences of those closest to them, sometimes they have to experience the ordeal themselves to actually learn the lesson. Sometimes, not even once, but a couple of times before they finally snap out of it. At least, you can take comfort in knowing that you didn't fail to remind them.
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
5 Mar 13
Many people do that, money burns a hole in their pockets. Sorry to hear you have to go through that with them.
• United States
5 Mar 13
If that's the way they want to live, that is their choice. Sure, they're going to have difficulty when they do decide to move. However, you cannot force them to save money in order to achieve their goals. They're adults; they control how the budget (or don't) their money.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
5 Mar 13
Sounds to me they both never learned to save money but also they miss something that is why they Always make new (too wild) plans what to do or buy next. I wonder how they pay for all these bills if what you say is true. I assume they still can plus are not begging you for money? It's hard to tell them not to spend money since it's their life. But perhaps you can warn them and also tell them you can't help them out. Or give them the advice to save money first for example 1000 dollar before they start spending again.