HELP with Long Distance Relationship

@neildc (17254)
Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
March 7, 2013 6:53pm CST
Hiya myLotters and friends! As I have posted about two weeks ago about the love story of the two high school sweethearts who met again after almost three decades. I came to wonder how will their relationship be successful? Let's take aside the fact that they are having an affair and consider the relationship a good one. Do you think they will really succeed with their love despite the distance? Do you know someone who really get successful, being away from each other for a long period of time? Like for example, one has to leave the country to work for a couple of years. Can you give some advises for couples in a long distance relationship on how they will be successful? ~~~ NEILâ„¢ ~~~ 20130308 0900H
5 people like this
48 responses
@salonga (27995)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Long distance relationship may work in some very rare cases but in many cases, it does not. For it to succeed, I believe faithfulness is the number one key. But who could be faithful in the midst of loneliness and temptation. Temptation is all around so at anytime it strikes and one is unable to resist, that will surely ruin the relationship. It is so hard to maintain a long distance relationship. Maybe for a time it will work but if being separated becomes too long, chances are one of them will grow cold and will find someone who can give the physical companionship that he/she needs.
2 people like this
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
hi friend. don't you think that in your case that wasn't successful, though faithfulness and trust was there, constant communication was not there since in early days, there were no mobile phones, internet, video chat, emails and other new technologies that we are enjoying today that could make the relationship warmer each day? nevertheless, you are right in saying that temptation strikes anytime and in the midst of loneliness, one couldn't resist.
2 people like this
@salonga (27995)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Well dear friend, maybe it depends on the person involved. If there is true faithfulness and trust in each other, then long distance relationship could be really possible but somehow in most cases, something will always be missing. They will not be really happy because the absence of actual physical togetherness will make them feel incomplete. Yes. technology is very helpful. You can always chat via skype, you can always talk and see each other via webcam but that won't really solve the missing link and that is physical presence which is one of the most important needs of lovers.
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
yes dear friend, i agree with you to that point, physical togetherness makes any relationship complete. and so as faithfulness and trust is within the person may it be near or in a long distance relationship.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Avoid temptations or things that one knows will lead into temptation. Communicate as often as possible. Make sure both are updating each other not only on complicated matters but even simple things, and try to be always available to listen. Talk more often about the future and how the distance could be resolved at a shorter time because this has to be temporary only. Know each other's friends. Be committed to allotting a specific time to skype. But among all things, both should be convinced enough that it has to work, and that the love they have is worth fighting.
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
constant communication really is one thing to avoid temptation.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
and both be convinced that the relationship will work and fight for it.
1 person likes this
• Quezon, Philippines
8 Mar 13
As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. and interaction over the phone is important, for now long distance relationships is lucky than before. for having a new technology. considering using skype video chat calls everyday as often as possible, texting, and email everyday. It is important to maintain contact and to be in each others daily as possible, Avoid temptation, talk about future together, avoid jealousy and be trusting. And lastly Pray always. I think all of these can help to be a succesful in long distance relationship.
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
it's really good that in our present time, we have lots of ways to get connected, like we have cellphones, computers, the internet now even with skype that we can do video chat. prayers always come in to never lose hope.
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14568)
• India
10 Mar 13
I also think that communication is important and the communication can be done through phone and chatting.
@Avijit100 (954)
• Calcutta, India
8 Mar 13
Frequent communication plays a very important role in long distance relationships coz it's only communication which works as oxygen for the relation to live. In this hi-tech world, we have many options to communicate with our partners in a more precised way with the help of webcams and all and I see a good future for long distance relationships in the coming days.
2 people like this
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
just like fire that needs oxygen, right?
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@hotsummer (10379)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
I don't think that kind of relationship would survive specially they meet after thirty years. That's just pretty long. Better if they meet or be someone that they can be with
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
but i still believe there's magic or miracle that even after or almost thirty years, they meet again?
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@Angelpink (4023)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Hello Neildc ! Love knows no bound ! It will reach all destinations , no matter how far the couple are to each other , if love is really with them , distance never matters. We are living in a very modern world where we can connect to our loved ones 24/7. Constant communication would bring two people together less only the physical presence but still life and soul can be shared. Love is so mysterious , it can make everything possible ! It will find way , no need to guide because it behaves its own command .
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
wonderful that is Angelpink. love really is so myterious that it finds its own way no matter what happens along the way, behaves on its own and needs no guidance at all.
1 person likes this
@cttolledo (4107)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
That is possible though it will take too much patience and strong determination to wait.. I know some with that kind of relationship, some of them maintained their relationship but some also failed and end up with separation. I have 2 office mates with husbands working abroad, they usually seen each other every other 2 years or some time once a year, she said that raising a family without her husband is really hard but it would be more harder if he stay and cannot support their family financially, meaning they have to sacrifice for the future of their family.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
i also heard some successful long distance relationships and wonder how others failed. i guess they just lost that patience and strong determination. or others just got tempted. it's really one hard thing being alone raising children but when it's for the future of them, one really have to be stronger to get financially stable.
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@AidaLily (1450)
• United States
8 Mar 13
Skype works wonderful in a long distance relationship. It allows for many things minus physical touches. I would suggest they talk and have rules in a sense. After all, the chances of the person on the other end not cheating could be considered high unless you really trust them. There are many long distance relationships that do work, but they take more work, communication and trust than normal relationships because of the distance. That is the best advice for them is to keep talking and to have that level of trust that they need.
2 people like this
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
keeping in touch with each other is not even a problem these days as what you and others said, the internet and the skype thing help a lot.
1 person likes this
@giex22 (273)
• Cebu, Philippines
8 Mar 13
Before i have a long distance relationship, we are particularly on for almost 5 years. He works to another place because his parents can't afford to send him on college that is why he decided to just find a work and me is still on my college years. It's so quite beautiful that we run almost a year being a long distance relationship, but it is not so easy because their are so much temptation along the way so we need to have a big trust to one another and be open to one another. Unfortunately, we end up broken because we don't have so much time to see one another and communicate as will, their is also a problem that centers between the two of us, so we decided to separate our ways. If we are truly meant to be each other then we will and if faith will lead us to someone else then will accept it heartily.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
i feel sad that yours also failed. i know one sweethearts that also failed. when one has to leave her for college. for three years, they we not together, not even one letter was sent to the other. so the relationship wasn't a success too. that time, there were not even a mobile phone that could have made them constantly connected too. and when he graduated and finish the course, he almost forgotten that there was someone waiting.
@giex22 (273)
• Cebu, Philippines
8 Mar 13
We do send letters, cards and communicating through phones but sad to say it doesn't work long at all. It is just so different to have a relationship that is near because you have probably spent time to see your love. That is too sad, the problem their is that they don't have a good communication.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
actually, the girl decided to get further. she was the one who stopped communicating as for her, she wanted to give way for his studies. but she never knew it won't work for him, so the relationship didn't succeed.
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
8 Mar 13
I've never been in a long distance relationship and I couldn't imagine how hard that could be. The girl that I have fallen in love with I couldn't think of being away for an extended period of time and I honestly just want her to come with me wherever I go. I'm not very good at talking on the phone either so that's another reason I wouldn't want to be in a long distance relationship. For it to work though there would have to be constant communication and lots of phone calls and letters so that way the two partners continue to gain each other's attention. If the two partners aren't staying in contact I just think it would be two easy for them to get distracted by someone that they could share time with face to face and actually enjoy their time with physically. Perhaps your friends should even plan dates on when they can actually see each other.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
i know they are planning to see each other at least once a year. but for some people, that period is some kind of a horror.
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
8 Mar 13
There is no way that I could only see the love of my life for one day a year. But perhaps some people are able to be in such relationships. I would just be wanting to do something to be closer to my partner so that way I could see them as much as possible and have fun with them and be with them.
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
it would be very hard for me too, if i will be in that situation. it's really so hard for me to think about it.
@Mavic123456 (9695)
• Thailand
8 Mar 13
agreement... settle for agreement. how will they communicate since communication is very basic and essential part of the relationship. How can they express and answer their "longing" miss. Talk about it sincerely for it is really difficult too have long distance relationship however it is possible and workable.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
but it is so hard to settle for an agreement on how they can answer their longing miss when one should really have to be far for a longer period.
• Thailand
8 Mar 13
if there iS A WILL there is a WAY. NO difficult and no hard if the heart wishes to and plan to. otherwise, the one who is leaving should not leave at all.
@danix1982 (593)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
i have been in a long distance relationship before and it is not worked, aside from the different time zone, we both don't have trust to each other because it is really hard to build trust to a person in a long distance, i even tried but not worked and we ended our relationship as we are not happy to each other anymore.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
that's how it really works when there is no trust in a relationship. sad to hear that yours did not worked out.
• Philippines
9 Mar 13
it is okay, i am happy with my family now,i guess my past relationship are were not meant to be and i am thanking to have my family.
@stanley777 (7175)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
I guess for some it would work but we should not take aside temptations. Being far from your love is really a sacrifice, so they should communicate more often. Trust is also a factor that should be considered.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
trust plus sacrifice and communication makes temptations away, right?
• Philippines
9 Mar 13
Absolutely, faith and trust with each other is the number one factor for a good relationship to work.
@gkutti (111)
8 Mar 13
long distance relations are always hazardous. first and most important rule is 'stay awake'. i mean vigilant, we have to pickup even the slightest change in th patner and try to be supportive. Express more. since you can not show your care start saying it. we need to avoid hiding things from each other even the slightest incident will trigger a fight and can have serious consequences.Above we need trust and love. nothing can stand in the way of these things.:)
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
i guess the number one thing that keep them in the relationship is love and trust must come next to it. i must tell my friends things that i have learned from you and the rest of the participants in this discussion. thanks.
@gkutti (111)
9 Mar 13
any time my friend, wish them good luck on my behalf too. well may be your right, love itself brings trust we need to be careful not to loose it. what say?
@blackrusty (3532)
• Mexico
8 Mar 13
[/i]Well I wonder if they wold pick up where they have left off I have heard of true love stories like that and I wish that mine had worked out better as I moved to mexico and became single with in 8 months[i]
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
i heard their story and i really think theirs is a wonderful one. i hope you'll get a better love when you become single in 8 months? good luck.
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• Mexico
8 Mar 13
thank you and you have a great day
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@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
I am in a long distance relationship for almost four years now and I would say that this relationship is a very successful one. In a long distance relationship, the two lovers must need a cooperative effort for them to maintain a last long and harmonious relationship even if they are far away from each other. It needs a constant communication and if there is an argument, one must reach out.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
exactly, keep constant communication and reach out if there is an argument. the two must have a cooperative effort to maintain the relationship and keep it warm.
@dreamhome (558)
• India
8 Mar 13
Although I did not respond to your previous discussion, I remember that discussion of yours. I feel that to be an unhealthy relationship which could surely spoil the current married life of the boy. I feel that it is better he does not continue with this renovated relationship.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
i try to agree at one point with you. but i still believe, there is something with the boy's life that keeps his love for his high school sweetheart and what could be his reason for thinking against his wife or his significant other, he only knows.
@Manasha (2297)
• Pondicherry, India
8 Mar 13
Distance is not going to disturb the relationship at all because lots of people are making correspondence in long distance form. Hence, it is not good to say that love would deteriorate in between long distance relationship. However, love would grown like a wild fire between them without fail.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
that's keeping the communication lines always open for the two of them. love would grown like a wild fire between them?
@maximax8 (27341)
• United Kingdom
8 Mar 13
These days mobile phone text messages and emails sent by Internet are possible to keep a long distance relationship going well. When the couple do meet up the time must be very special like a romantic wonderful time I mean. In the messages the couple can discuss their love and missing the other person. Hopefully the time apart would pass by rather quickly. Good luck to the two that used to be high school sweethearts
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
yes, good luck to the two of them and hopefully they will be able to meet up one day, for a romantic wonderful time.
• China
8 Mar 13
This is a eternal topic and can be seen many times in mylot,and I still keep my first opinion,if this couple love each other very much then there is nothing can stop them.
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@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
8 Mar 13
that is agreeable, if love is perfect even when they have to be apart from each other.