I was angry with him last night...

@ryanong (9695)
Vietnam
March 7, 2013 10:47pm CST
I met him some times before being in love. Right now our love is a love with long distance. (I don't like to be in love with long distance, but ...finally i felt in) We kept in touch by chatting every day. However, he sent messages to me just 1-2 times a week. We didn't chat much since he sent messages late, at time i went to bed or slept already. It happened not 1 week, it was a month and last night, i was angry to him, i told him that i don't have an excited feeling to wait to chat with him anymore, i don't know his daily life, his schedule,... He said he was busy and went home late. I know the ways to express the love what women/men do are so different. I don't need he and I have to chat daily when he is busy but at least he let me knows that he is busy and no time to chat, not be silent like that.
3 people like this
13 responses
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
8 Mar 13
He's got another girl. He's moving on. You need to move on. Find someone who wants you.
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
8 Mar 13
huh? are you serious?
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
8 Mar 13
That's my take. I've seen it hundreds of times. Look.... men and women, who need to be married, are not designed to live separately. I can live separately, because I like being single. But most males, need females in their lives. They *need* it. Being far away is not good enough. Marriage is not designed to work this way. That's all there is too it. You are not designed to have a happy relationship, 1000 km apart. That boy is not designed to have a happy relationship 1000 km apart. It doesn't work this way. Men are off by themselves, working, and lonely. And you are not there. And even when he calls, you are angry that he isn't calling enough. When you get angry, you push him away. Never get angry. That doesn't work with males. You get mad, he'll just find a girl who isn't mad. My guess based on what you said... he's likely already found another girl. He's moving on with his life. You need to move on with yours. Find a guy that wants you.... and this time, don't do this 1000 km apart thing. Could I be wrong? Sure. I could be wrong. You know him, and you know what is going on, more than I do. But from what you said, he's got another girl. He's not a bad guy. He's a guy. Guys can't live like this. Far far away, all by themselves. They are not designed to handle that.
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
8 Mar 13
umh, maybe you are right..since you are a man and you may understand male feeling better than I. i am so naive, i think. But i hate that way, from the beginning i told him that if he has another woman, just let me know then break first before he comes to that woman... It is ok to break if the love does not exists...
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Tell him that. If he really loves you, he will understand and make it up to you too. Also, you have to be more patient. He is also adjusting to his new environment after all.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
14 Mar 13
yeah, i know...that's why i wait to see after 1 month....right now i keep silent, i don't send msg also. i know a bit childish when i am like this but he should know the feeling when sending messages and no reply.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
That's the annoying thing about making a big deal out of texting and not texting. There are so many unnecessary conflict over it. I experienced that before and it irks me whenever my boyfriend doesn't reply. So we decided to not bother texting each other unless we feel like it. And when either of us texts first and don't get a reply right away, we just shrug it off believing that the other person is busy or call them or miscall. Just don't make a big deal out of it. You are probably worried for nothing. Relax and enjoy some away time from him too.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
14 Mar 13
well, everyday we text and talking ...suddenly we don't do it...i am not happy with it... i don't ask him to chat with me everyday, whenever he is busy, just tell me that he is busy then we stop, and i do the same...We did like that in previous time, but right now...for 1 month, rarely we chat, and just chat for very short time, i feel there is a distance, i don't worry because he has someone else, or what, i worry because of my side, my feeling, not because i will fall in love with another man, my love may be die when there is no caring and keeping in touch like that...I know myself well, and my love is grow up when both keeping in touch in a long distance relationship only. When i don't see his care, not in touch anymore, my love will be die...
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 13
why you are angry with him? because he is busy and ignore your feeling this week?? hai ryanong..it`s long time not to see and we chat like several months ago maybe because you and i are so busy..
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
14 Mar 13
yes, i was angry to him since we don't keep in touch as previous time. Anyway, i am happy to receive your message again. Currently i am not very busy since my study is completed.i can have more time to chat with you and Fashion, hihihi... Wish right now three of us can drink coffee together...
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
30 Mar 13
i see.. so now you want go back to Hanoi? iam really having a big problem..but maybe God gives me strength to pass it and solve it slowly but sure.. and the taste of coffee isn`t bitter anymore..
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
1 Apr 13
A big problem? what is it? Don't worry too much, everything will have a solution, i believe that. In this time, you should take time with friends, relax, and who knows, you will get a solution for it soon.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
10 Mar 13
not everybody is cut out for long distance my husband and I were in long distance for a year before we got married but before I met him, I had a few bad experiences online similar to yours they either got bored or found someone else I can actually understand them find someone else, why settle for someone far if they can get someone closer? but as it is online, most people don't feel the need to be truthful. I'm glad I trusted my own feelings and moved on, otherwise I would've wasted too much time into it.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
10 Mar 13
I agree with your opinion also, he may find someone else. In the valentine day, he sent a sweet sentence to a group of women, including me. I just asked him back, is the valentine day for a couple/lover or a group? He kept silent, and some days later, he told me, he will never do it again. And now he said he is too busy, I don't trust him totally 100%, he may spend much time to chat with others women.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
10 Mar 13
some people can't live without the attention of opposite gender they enjoy receiving it, but thrifty in giving equally you said it correctly in your other comment, love is both side
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
14 Mar 13
yeah, it is my opinion of the love. I don't like to say i love you, sending message but receive cold reply for a bf. It is not fair, then for sure i won't send sweet message or say sweet words anymore. I do love him but if i know he doesn't love me anymore, i would leave him immediately...
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
It is now a well practiced by many lovers but it is okay as long as you have contacts. Being in a relationship is different of being in prison being in a relationship still you are in yourself do things as usual enjoy life. Don't be angry life is short don't make it shorter. You don't even what he is doing on the placed where she was now.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
8 Mar 13
yeah, i don't need he is stick to me, but since we are in a long distance relationship, we should keep in touch even being busy, just by sending a message to let me know about him, that's enough. I really don't know, i am a bit confused about him now...
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
hi ryanong. You could try to give him a benefit of the doubt, but if you yourself doesn't have any feelings of excitement with him anymore, then I guess its time to move out from that relationship. Having a long distance love affair is the hardest because temptations are everywhere. This is why most long distance relationships are not successful because when they miss the company of their partner, they try to look for a diversion and that diversion is having another partner. later on, they found themselves falling for that person. You make your choice, either you give up or you try harder if you are still in love with him. If your love is falling out, then let it fall.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
8 Mar 13
yeah, i know the long distance relationship is hard and not easy to remain it at all. Before i am in love with him, he used to persuade me a lot that it is not far from his place to my place, but right now i can see it is a big problem. I don't want to spend time alone, always chatting and chatting on phone only. I know i am still love him, but i don't want to live far like this, i would prefer a couple spending time together in person, not on phone... Like today, it is a woman day in here, but what comes to me, i am alone in here, receive congratulation messages from friends, not from him, and i may spend time with friends, not with him...
@roshigo58 (4871)
• Pune, India
24 Mar 13
Hi, It is right that he should have been told you that he will not contact you for a week or he is busy. But he sent only messages. But I think you also frankly ask him why are he behaving so or in what work he is so busy. There may be some reason but he may not want to tell you. You force him to tell the reason. If the reason is genuine then it's OK to continue your love.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
25 Mar 13
yeah, i totally agree with you. He is not warm anymore, i can feel it... right now i am not angry if he does like that anymore, what will be will be...i am ready for any situation that will happens...
@stanley777 (7177)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
Most long distance relationship fails because of communication gap and I guess yours is having that problem. To make it work, talk to him about what you want and if possible his too. Like, to know his schedule of work, when he would call or chat instead of you waiting without knowing he would call or text. I think too that his alibi being busy with his work is not acceptable. Text messages twice a week is not enough too, I think.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
24 Mar 13
Yeah, I know.. And right now I don't wait his message anymore. If chatting the I chat, if not I enjoy my life and doing my plan in here. With me, love is simple and from both sides, and if it is not warm anymore, just let it goes...
@artemeis (4017)
• China
11 Mar 13
Let me start off by saying that no experiences are similar and as such the final results. I think it is important for you to gather yourself together start looking at the man you know and at the relationship the both of you are having. From where you are I believe it is happening with everybody who has the right criteria and qualifications to work overseas for a better pay and future. Not being insulting, I am sure you know just how much the most one can earn working in your country. So, it would be a matter of time when you will find either your partner or yourself to be offered an opportunity to work overseas and I will have no doubt that neither of you will refuse the offer. Look around, and see for yourself if the capably good men and women offered jobs overseas. Now, I am confident that you have a good foresight and taste in men where your choice of men are above average. It may not happen when the both of you are dating but if he is good and ends up marrying you. Please consider that he may be equally be offered a job overseas one day. Then, what do you think is going to happen to your marriage? Question: Is the reason for taking of the offer for moving away from an established relationship or marriage (later for you)? I am sure the both of you chose and came together because the both of you saw something of the future which includes the both of you. So, whether you are short or long distance I believe there is something mutual between the both of you which is more than missing out on the timely text messages, that scheduled phone call or video chat even. If he is late then look further, look deeper and see if you are convinced that there may be legitimate issues like time difference and timing. Remember the overwhelming feeling when you were new at the office, and then put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes in a place dealing with cultural shock, uncertainties, living conditions, language, food and other environmental issues. Question: How much time do you think you need to deal with adapting and adjusting? Instead of being negative and rushing for some unwanted answers why don't you make an effort to motivate and encourage him to talk to you. Be understanding and don't put any anticipations before any answers. Trust him and most of all, trust yourself. All humans have a conscience and this is what separates us from the beasts in the animal kingdom. Relationship, whether it is short or long distance is still relationship where it needs to be worked out between the both of you. This may be the umpteenth obstacles the both of you are facing, I think you are not going to tell everybody that you are or both of you are not willing to work together to overcome it. Where others have failed does not necessary mean that you will fail, so please work on it and work hard. Don't give up the fight before it even begin or before it is over.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
14 Mar 13
We used to think of moving but i may move to his place, not him. I used to live abroad for long then i know i can adapt the new place for living. Moving is not a big problem to me. I don't worry much about language and working oversea since i have a bit experience to work oversea also...The problem is..the way he keep in touch with me in the current long distance relationship only. He loves me, i don't doubt it, but i am very warm in love, he is a bit cold in love, it makes me not happy sometime.
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
10 Mar 13
I think, you should not act like that. I guess he has that reason not to chat with you for one week. Before you judge him and act like a childish one, you should know first his side and let him explain. Long distance relationship needs double and an intense cooperative effort so that it would be last long and be successful.Do not be too rude with him.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
10 Mar 13
No, not one week. It was a month already. In previous time, even he was so busy but he still sent MSG to me everyday and we can exchange information, sharing. Recently, i feel it is changes. It doesn't matter I am in Vietnam or in Korea since we are still far apart, but his behavior is changed. Well, I don't be mas for long, just that night. I am busy with my things and don't care much about his behavior anymore. Love is from both side, and need sharing to keep in touch, if he doesn't want to do it, I just let him go...
@jricky1 (6809)
• China
9 Mar 13
It's really not easy for a long distance relationship to keep normal.Since you guys really need understanding and patience,you guys have own thing to do and time zones.So maybe a chat is working and decide how deep your love in order to continue.Good luck to you and it's what you need to face it.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
9 Mar 13
Thank you. I will be patience and see what he does next... It is hard with a long distance relashionship...
• India
8 Mar 13
You have all the right to be angry with him. Though its not his duty to text you everyday, yet if he loves you he would always be thinking about you and worrying about you, wondering all the time what you would be doing right now. At least this is how it is with me.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
9 Mar 13
Yeah, it is the way to show his love to me...but he didn't. One guy above guides me that I should look at his action, not his talks...I will see his action for the next week...
@machatago (385)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
I think you should confront him why he is like that and be honest with you if he is having an affair or not. If he's always like that even when the first time you two were apart, chances are he's just busy with his work. But if something switched off like a sudden coldness and no message from him, it's time to confront him once and for all.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
8 Mar 13
Thank you for your advices. I will see his action for a week and then I may have a talk with him.
• Portugal
6 Dec 15
i been on that situation and like you i decided that i was tired and just ended things. like two years later he told me that he was coming to my country and if i wanted to meet him for a coffee and i didnt accept. he realized after two years that i was worth it. and well it was too late because of course i didnt love him anymore.