he choose another girl

@chum24 (569)
Philippines
March 12, 2013 4:22am CST
mylotters!!! please give me advice what to do. My long distance boyfriend got new girlfriend near at there town. they just see each other for 2 days and he court this girl. he's my boyfriend for 3 years and half. i'm really in love with him. but he want space. i can't live without him. but i think he fell in love with this girl. i don't want to lose him. i cry everyday i can't eat, sleep i'm always thinking of him. he is my first love. i'm begging him to leave the girl but he don't like instead he broke up with me.
11 people like this
80 responses
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
12 Mar 13
It is quite disappointing! Many think that the long distant relationships are much stronger than either. But this is the draw back that man want the things around, especially matters like this. See, from this incident you can understand something that he never loved you, he want someone to keep in possession and when he got a better one, he moved into it. From my observation, it is better to give up him and move ahead for a better choice. He is now upto the girl arond her and he may be getting instantly whatever he want and his main concern also may be a girl near to him, so that he can go for anything. Look, he must be good with you at some period of time. Now, it is your choice for to get a better one for your life to make better future. Don't waste time upto him and be practical and find a best choice where you can married to. Also, once you decided to love someone and do not keep it just like that and better to get married within a period of one year, for a better living.
2 people like this
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
ok i i will... thank you for your advice
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
12 Mar 13
There are several things to note in your relationship and how you dealt with the issue at hand. The first thing is of course long distance relationship. Not many long distance relationship really works out as people gets lonely easily and there are so many temptations around. It is quite a basic need of human to have someone to talk to and to spend some fun time with. Next, having discovered that he got interested with another girl who he met for just 2 days. What you should have done is not to make things ugly by telling him that you know of his affair, worse yet to beg him to leave this girl. What you should have done was to freshen yourself up and try to hold his love for you by maintaining your attractiveness and make him think that it is still a lot of fun to be with you. Show him that you are better than the new girl he just met for a few days. If you play your cards right and if the two of you had some good time together, he will definitely remain yours.
12 Mar 13
Dump him. Chances are he's been seeing dozens of people and this is the first time he's bothered to mention it. Get out while you can. The more you beg him to stay, the more likely he is to keep you hanging around for the times when he's not sleeping with someone else... or when he is and just wants you on hand as well. "My long distance boyfriend got new girlfriend near at there town" - he's not your boyfriend any more. Find someone better. Someone who cannot remain faithful is not worth your time or energy. You deserve better.
2 people like this
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
16 Mar 13
He broke up with you for someone else which means you didn't mean much to him and he doesn't love you. Tho that doesn't mean you are a bad person because you are not bad. You are a good person worthy of some guy's love. It might take time to find that guy but you will find him in time. Don't cry one tear for this guy because after what he did to you he's not worth it. Like i always say there's other fish in the sea(meaning more guys to date and be with or find for you). Every girl has to kiss a lot of frogs to get to their prince(meaning kiss or be with bad guys before they find the right one). The right guy is out there for you he is looking for you and just got lost along the way. Be patient and he will find you. You are worth having a good man and love and being in a good relationship. You don't need this guy that broke up with you and you are too good for him please don't cry.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
17 Mar 13
hihi. i have to agree on this. it is actually true that often we still have to see other people and be with these guys who would hurt us, we should never be afraid to move on. there are others who are better, and can be worth more to be with than a guy who would choose another woman, and cheat on you.
1 person likes this
@else22 (4317)
• India
12 Mar 13
I would say,God saved you.If he is not interested in you,why are you going mad for him.One sided love doesn't pay.It's now clear he doesn't love you.So there's no point in your being related with him.There are thousands of boys out there.Meet them,try to understand them and if they love you,befriend them.If the boy you have been loving had dumped you for another girl,leave him.He is not the only boy in the world.
1 person likes this
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
yeah right.. thank you for you advice....its hard to forget him
@else22 (4317)
• India
15 Mar 13
May be it is hard for you to forget him,but for him it is so easy to forget you,dump you and choose another girl.
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Good for you for if it did not happened still it will happened in the future, so thanks GOD you are safe anyway their still many are waiting for you just don't lost patient in waiting who knows much more qualified is coming. okay cheer up for if you will not you end a loser.
1 person likes this
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
yeah..it easy to say but its really difficult for me to accept it.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Mar 13
chum are you forgetting what a good person you are and that you deserve to be loved and treated Right,not dumped so have some self respect and since you talked to him and he broke off. girl get a grip he is done with you. D o not beg from such as he,he is not worth one tear of yours. You will find a good loving man who will love only you so wait fo this it will happen.
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
hi...hatley...yeah you are right.. i just cant help it...im not stronger person like him.. i dont what to fall again. ;( as i read your comment i cried.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
12 Mar 13
I am sorry that you have to undergo this terrible experience but I have to be insensitive and say that he is one bloke you do not deserve to have. It is alright to feel sad and even angry but I hope that you will not blame and take it upon yourself for this breakup. Some people just do not see and have the same thinking as far as commitment is concern. So, tell yourself that it is time to close this page and turn to the next page of your life. Staying on and devoting yourself will not bring any fruition to this broken relationship like a pruned branch, it will need to be rid of and become manure for the main tree to grow, the main tree being you. You grow from here and move on. Memories will always be around to remind and haunt you even but it is not there to hold you back or discourage you. But, would serve as reminders and lessons for the next stage of your life. This is the crucial part of your recovery which the more control you have here the better it is for you. You may dwell on it but if you let it dwell on you, you will soon find yourself saying that you cannot forget him and start getting emotional. It is alright if it will bring him back to you but as remote as it is to hit the jackpot of your local lottery, that is how elusive your boyfriend will be who is as of now your ex. So get on with your work, get involve with your family and most of all, socialize with your friends and peers.
• United States
14 Mar 13
Just let him go and move on from him. He may have loved you at first but some people don't realize what they have until they lost it. One of my favorite quotes is by Johnny depp- if you love two people choose the second one. cause if you truly loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen inlove with the other. Best of wishes to you chum
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
12 Mar 13
Well, I know it's easier said than done... That being said, that's one of the reasons why I don't believe in long distance relationships... It takes two to have a relationship... If he's not interested, it doesn't matter how much you love him, it's not going to work out... I know it's harsh thing to say but that's the reality of it... People need to moan the loss of their loved ones... Weather it be family members or partner... I know you'll need some time to yourself & closure... But sooner you can get out of that mind set & move on with your life, better it will be for you...
1 person likes this
• Penrith, Australia
13 Mar 13
Thats right, long distance relationships aren't for everyone.
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
12 Mar 13
It must be hard on both of you . I think he did genuinely love you but sometimes distance become too great especially being apart for so long . I have ever hardly heard about any long distance relationship lasting if being separate for very long period of time because some people want to enjoy every moment with someone and you cant really do that a 1000 mils apart . He may loved that girl and not amount of begging will change his mind but push them closer . My best advice is try to move on and maybe you will meet down the road again and then you will know it was meant to be . First love is the deepest and it may never go away .
1 person likes this
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
thank you for your advice... you are right its really really hard to forget my first love.. i just cant really imagine just only 2days he met the girl he court it without knowing me..
@tipay26 (867)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
That's so sad to hear chum24 but you have to accept it and move on.Why?because you are just hurting yourself in the process.If you two are really meant for each other even distance and space can be broken ;) he will come back to you even if you don't ask him to.but for now free yourself from the hurt.It may take a while to heal but eventually you will forget about him and can move on.There are a lot of guys around ,cheer up meet new friends and smile.
1 person likes this
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
thank you for your opinion..yeah i will forget him soon and i can move on..yeah lots of guys ..all i want is him.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Do not make yourself too low by begging for him to come back. He does not deserve your love. He chose to be blinded with that woman. He must have thought of the convenience of having a girlfriend that was just near him. Learn to move on. It may not be easy, but you have to.
1 person likes this
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
ok i will...thank you
@robspeakman (1700)
12 Mar 13
OK some points You have a long distance relationship... He wants space... He is courting another court openly with your knowledge... I think you have had a lucky escape - he sounds like a complete pr1ck. You will be upset for a while, but you will find a decent bloke much closer to home - someone that wants to be with you. .....Wants space??? What an idiot!! Don't beg him for anything - he isn't worth the effort. I would imagine that a few of our stronger willed women will comment on this halfwit. You can live without him - very easily
• Penrith, Australia
13 Mar 13
Thats right, and you were able to get by in your own even before you met him, what makes you think that you can't go on right now. You are stronger than you think dont let this stop you, feel the pain, contemplate on your mistakes and learn from it. Life goes on and you should too.
@jiiiiin (586)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
It only prove that he's not worth loving for. I advise you that just let go and move on. Yeah, it's not easy but if you help yourself you can do it. I don't believe that you can't live with out him, because you're already alive before you met him three years ago right? Don't waste your time Dear.
1 person likes this
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
hi jiiiiin... thank you for your opinion...you have a point ..soon i will forget him
@naveee (3)
12 Mar 13
don't worry its just an effection on that girl and if u really love him ask the question for yourself and you will get the answer and only u know that where the mistake happened, call him for a coffie and clearify it he will back in your life 1s again.
1 person likes this
• Penrith, Australia
13 Mar 13
It would be nice if that happened. But its best not to expect. Expectations will lead to frustrations if they aren't met.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
19 Mar 13
Wake up sweety and grow up. You fell for the wrong guy and he is a creep not worth your love or your tears. Don't you get it? He dumped you. I'll bet he will dump this girl too when someone else comes along. Or hopeful she will dump him. There's always a chance he will want you back and you will probably go to him. Oh well, if this is the way you want to live your life, so be it. You will be embracing a life of misery and unhappiness.
1 person likes this
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
First love why it is always hurtful with us if break up happened. Well i understand your situation right now. All i can tell you is dont cry too much it will create too much eye bags. Relax my friend and make up your mind. What your bf did to you is clear. He is not a one woman man. And be thankful he show his real feelings in advance. Who know if you are married to him already then he have more girls.. that's not good and that will be more painful to you. Now, let him be free and don't beg for love. Pain is only an experience and i've been there before. Few months you will be okay. If he is for you he will come back and wait for that moment. But don't give all your time for waiting. Just move on and life will be easier for you.. Who knows much better bf coming soon for you....cheer up!
1 person likes this
• India
18 Mar 13
Hmm..i can understand how you feel cause ive also been through a breakup once and ive got my girl back as well..but if its about getting him back..then don't worry..its easily possible...my friend also was in a long distance relationship,went through a breakup just like that in your case..and guess what he came back for her..but you have to do just as i tell you...and don't worry it can happen..and no doubts..all you have to do is get yourself back..when we go through a breakup we are really focusing on the wrong person to come back...i know this might be confusing..but let me explain..think about it..are you the same person you were when he fell in love with you...nope..at that time you were secure and confident..but now you are insecure..you gotta be the girl who he fell in love with first..so its not him who is lost..its you..believe me..i have seen more than 20 or 30 breakups in my life and all have been rekindled ..all they did was get themself back..the old them to whom their exes were attracted to..you have lost all your confidence and are insecure..and these are major attraction killers in a relationship..he broke up with you because he lost attraction..so you've gotta get yourself back..and for that you have to move on..yup ..MOVE ON and GET OVER HIM AND FORGET ABOUT HIM..i know its sounds contradictory..but let me tell you..its from pure experience...but the faster you move on and heal yourself and be the person you were before..the faster he will come back to you..and please you cant fake being confident or secure..it will take time,....you will reach a particular level in which you would be completely happy without him in your life..and guess what...that's just when he will want you back..this is a law of nature..and nobody cant mess with it..
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
12 Mar 13
It's his loss not yours. You need to move on and find someone new. Find someone that WANTS to be with you! You deserve to be happy too, he found that and so should you. There is no reason you should sit around being sad, you should be doing something you love to do and go places you like going. You will find someone else to make you happy again, once you let go of this break up and move forward. =)
1 person likes this
@srisahara (4508)
• Indonesia
12 Mar 13
Hi friend... Don't you be depressed...I know he is your first love and you love him so much, but we must real...Each problem come from some causes...Try to view back...Maybe you and your boyfriend do not keep long distance love...so your relationship being boring...Don't cry...take some lessons from this relationship and try stand up...there are many good man outside that better for you and your future...Trust to God, He never leave us...
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
all i know is to cry....yeah its really a big lesson for..just got failed..
• United States
12 Mar 13
You say he broke up with you, so you don't have a choice. Just leave him alone and let him go on with his life. Then you can go on with yours. It's difficult to lose a first love, but be graceful about it. Give your heart a chance to heal. Just go out and have fun with your friends. Eventually your heart will feel open again and you will meet someone else.
1 person likes this