What is wrong with me???

I want to be in love! - love
@ctryhnny (3463)
United States
March 12, 2013 8:50am CST
I'm always complaining that I have nobody to talk to, nowhere to go and no love life. I've been talking to three guys through email, instant message and telephone and they all seem like nice guys. I've googled them and nothing bad comes up about any of them. We've exchanged pictures and their not bad looking guys and their very patient with me. Yesterday I made plans to meet one of them at a nearby Dunkin Donuts at 11:00. I took my shower, washed my hair and put my best jeans and boots on. At 10:00 for whatever reason was in my mind I emailed him with an excuse why I couldn't meet him! He seemed to be very let down and I can't blame him. So, I got out of my clothes and into my pj's and headed for the dreaded couch that I spend every day on. I really do want to have someone in my life and it could be any one of these guys. I don't know why I do this and this isn't the first time. Why do I do this to myself? I've met other guys from cl and either they didn't appeal to me or they weren't in a place where they wanted a relationship. I'm hating myself today and although he said we could try it again today I'm just not excited about it. What's wrong with me....
1 person likes this
13 responses
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
You don't have to force yourself into something you don't want to do. Are people pressuring you about finding a partner soon? Just go at your own pace. I suspect you are afraid of changes. You are worried about a lot of things even before they happened. That is not a good habit. If you want things to change, you do something about it. Brooding about it alone at home won't make things any better. Be strong and find courage.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
15 Mar 13
lol...I have to force myself to get out of bed in the morning so you know I have to force myself to get dressed and go out somewhere. I need to do this and I am going to do it this afternoon. Wish me luck!
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
16 Mar 13
Yes, you have to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. You might have to force yourself at first, but I'm pretty you will feel better about it and get used to it, maybe even grow to love your new activities. Good luck and do update us of the results.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
12 Mar 13
I think you are just scared and are thinking of the worse thing that could happen. I guess that Dunkin Donuts would be a good place to meet. It would be in a public place. It is just nerves.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Mar 13
It could be a lot of things. DD is the best place to meet someone and just have coffee and chat to see where we stand. I think I have a fear of being rejected!
1 person likes this
@leateagee (3667)
• China
12 Mar 13
Take a break. Breath. Reflect. Know yourself. Ask yourself, what do you really want? Why are you doing this? Will this make you happy or you just want the society to know that you also have most people have? Are you really into this plan? Don't rush things. Enjoy. Be who you want to be. be humble. Be patient. Be simple.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Mar 13
I am all of those things except patient! I want things to happen fast and for the good. At this point I am not enjoying my life!
@leateagee (3667)
• China
13 Mar 13
. Oh I hear my friend. If you need someone we are all here for you. Things happen for reason. We cannot predict what will happen next. Our future depends on our doings today. Now, I as a friend I suggest you turn away from that negativity. It's easy to say that there are many ways to enjoy life but its up o you to make it fun.
• United States
12 Mar 13
Well, one of the first issues is that you're meeting guys through Craigslist. Get dressed and go out. Join a group. Go volunteer. Attend services in your religion of choice. Just get up and go out. That is how you meet people... and I don't just mean potential boyfriends. Your life revolves around what's on the television screen, the computer and mass market fiction. None of this is doing anything positive for you physically or mentally.
• Greece
13 Mar 13
Perhaps one of your problems is that you are concerned about having conversations with strangers, what will you talk about? If you sit indoors all day the annswer is probably - not very much! So take the advice just given and make yourself interesting to others. After all you want to meet an interesting person and so do they, it is a two way relationship. Make a list of your interests and work out ways to enjoy yourself and forget about having a boyfriend, you need to be a friend to yourself first of all.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Mar 13
I've looked into a lot of volunteer and religious groups and can't find a thing to keep me busy all day. I do help the activities director here in my building when she needs help setting up or cleaning up after a function. I have a difficult time being in crowds because of my hearing aids which I hate.
• Indonesia
13 Mar 13
Be patient and don't blame yourself. Your Mr.Right is still out there I think, and someday you will find him. It took me years before I meet my boyfriend now, and I have been through with some of Mr. Wrong. I am happy that I never let all the Mr.Wrong make me blame myself. Keep the faith dear
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
15 Mar 13
There's nobody to blame but myself! I am not motivated to do anything never mind going out to meet someone. But I'm going to do it today. Watch to see a discussion on what happened later today.
@Bluedoll (17074)
• Canada
12 Mar 13
I think it is scary to meet someone you don't know. If you are like me I crave to get out and go somewhere but when the time comes I am not always in gear. Sometimes I loose my mood and just want to do something else. I think the number one thing here is to enjoy yourself and be comfortable with you life the way it is. That doesn't mean things can not change just that you like yourself now but have goals. That is respectable. I find the best things come to you freely and can be right around the corner.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Mar 13
I really have no goals or motivation to do anything but sit on my couch with my cats...lol...
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Mar 13
I agree with other people here, I think you should get out and meet new people... I think you might be worried about meeting people, change is scary sometimes. If you meet someone in the natural way of going out and just hitting it off that might be less scary for you.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Mar 13
At my age it's not easy to go out and meet new people. There really is no place around here to do that and I don't go to bars so where would I meet someone? It's tough for me to be around more than a couple of people at a time because of my hearing.
@gkutti (111)
12 Mar 13
one of the reason of could be that you still do not trust them enough to hang out. or maybe because you fear an emotional wreck. or it could be that you are still not ready to go into an relation yet. what ever it is you you have to figure it out. good luck doing it. keep us informed.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Mar 13
So far from our phone conversations I think I can trust this man and if not I'm a big girl and won't be pressured into anything. He did ask if we could try again to meet for coffee on Friday. I think I am going to go for it....nothing lost nothing gained?
@cher913 (25893)
• Canada
12 Mar 13
it would seem that you don't have much motivation. what you need is something to do that. what about a hobby or something? go take a course somewhere or go to church. go meet new people. life is too short to waste.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Mar 13
Really, I don't have any motivation. I've checked into church groups but found they arent' for me. I wear 2 hearing aids and they don't really help they just make it difficult for me to be around more than 2 people at a time.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
12 Mar 13
Maybe it's a lack of confidence in yourself, or it could be purely just the thought of having to date someone from scratch, build up the relationship, get to know them, get to know their habits, their likes etc, having to tell your friends about him, finding time for him, sharing your life again, hey, it's no small thing, it's a big commitment and when you really sit down and think it all through it can be very scary and daunting starting a relationship. If you have been single for a long time it means compromise too! There's nothing wrong for you, maybe you are just not ready for the commitment. Please don't be too hard on yourself!
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Mar 13
lol Wolfie I think you hit the nail on the head. I'm so tired of the whole "new relationship" stuff. I think in the back of my mind I'm hoping one of my ex's will show up and we can go from where we left off! I am soooo ready for a committment that it's nuts.
@Raine38 (9029)
• United States
12 Mar 13
Maybe you're just not ready to meet up today. Do not force it as it may end up disastrous instead of the two of you having a good time. You should go out when you feel like it and up to doing it, and not just for the heck of it. You deserve a good time, and so is the guy that you will who, for all we know, might just be as nice and deserve it.
@ctryhnny (3463)
• United States
13 Mar 13
I'm never ready to get up and go anywhere except to the store. He can't be that bad of a guy because he called me and asked if we could give it another try next Friday. I'm going to say yes and just make it my job to get myself out there. I'm really very tired of being alone.
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
Don't be in a hurry and be careful with the people you meet especially in emails. They might not be exactly who you think they are. Most of the time people are in danger when it comes to meeting people through emails. Sure they send picture but are you sure that's really them? Your too choosy. Did you make any girl friends other than guys? Have you ever tried to get to know them? If by any chance that you meet some guy friends, set some limits. Make them choose, tell them that you just want to stay as friends if not then that's the end of your friendship. When you back out on your meeting, that's your instincts. If you have this gutty feeling inside you follow it don't ignore it. If by any chances you would like to meet one of them in person, set it to place where it's crowded or ask someone to go with you.
@jagjit273 (1740)
• India
12 Mar 13
Just ask yourself what you got today, by sitting on your couch and you would have experienced if you were with that guy. Feel the difference, for the sake of next time. As nice guy's wont come in your life again and again. Happy mylotting.