Some Memories Are Hard To Forget

@KrauseHome (35035)
United States
March 12, 2013 11:50pm CST
Here we are the middle of March. Most of the time things are really good and new things happening all the time. Was sitting here thinking about everything I have going good with me right now, and getting ready for a 2 day spring bazaar and was thinking since so many have been sharing so many wonderful stories and events about their children, if I would not have had my first miscarriage, I would have a 26 yr old this week as I was due around the middle of March. Has it really been this long, and then I think about how different my life could have been, or would it? It is truly something that I have thought about before. This is back before I started attending the church I attend now, and was unmarried so I am sure God was in control. I was engaged to the guy that would have been the father so at least that was a plus. But honestly it would have never worked so honestly it would have been me a single parent having to raise the child. But overall, when I stop to think about it where has this time really gone, and I can guarantee I would not be who I am today if I would have had this child. Things might be better, but they could be worse. All I can say is god is in control and knew what was best for me at the time. Has anyone else had miscarriages and never able to have children and wonder how their life would be different if they did? ~~TINA~~
3 people like this
15 responses
@celticeagle (118210)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Mar 13
Well fate must have something else in mind for you. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had married this guy or if I hadn't had a child. Life is a wild ride and who knows what is in store until it happens. Your God will take care of things.
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
21 Mar 13
Yes, I know that things happen for a reason and who knows where I would be now if I would have had one. It just is interesting that when certain things happen, or certain dates sometimes it makes you think about what might have been.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (118210)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Mar 13
I think this is a normal part of life and keeps us centered.
1 person likes this
@cerebellum (3871)
• United States
13 Mar 13
My ex husband and I never had any children. It turned out to be a blessing on two counts. First, we got divorced fairly early, and I was devestated at the time. I have since become disabled, and I think our union would have broken anyway, and it might be genetic, which means any children might have the possiblity of being this way also.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
26 Apr 13
Well yes, in this instance, it could have been different if you would have brang children into the world, and maybe a god send that you did not. I know I am glad to not have had kids sometimes with all the things I have experienced.
@meme0907 (3481)
• United States
13 Mar 13
Hello Tina...I know it has been a while but let me tell you I am sorry for your loss ..I too have suffered a miscarriage with my last child..the only girl I would bear...I am too old to have a baby so I know it's over for me...I often think "how would it be"...but then I know,like you, God is in control..
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
5 Apr 13
Well, since I am now in my late 40s there is no way I would ever consider changing this to having a child. I do have god children who are like my own so that does help. Even have 2 god daughters who are now moms themselves.
@airasheila (5459)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
Hi there KrauseHome, Your main title discussion really speaks the truth, there are memories that are somehow difficult to forget. With me here, I guess, I have a lot of that. Wherein I have a lot of memories that I can and will not really forget. Let me say one of those situation, that is when my brother threw out all of my gifts to my niece and nephew. That all of those toys plus other stuffs has been threw out to the waste bin. Wow, this scenario was really a traumatic to me. I didn't think that my brother as my own blood relative can do this thing to me. And not only that, he reprimand his children not to give respect to me since me and my brother is not in good terms. This is really disgusting.
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
1 Apr 13
I nave learned over the yrs, that family can be cruel, and ofte , some of the worst people you want to be around. I often wonder how people who are like this, can even live with themselves?
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 13
I had a miscarriage due to ectopic pregnancy. If not, I will have a child age 20 this year. thank God had given me the second chance and I have my son who will be seventeen this year. Time flies and I am glad that I have spend my time with him when he need me the most. fetch him to school and cook for him, watching movies and laugh together. I just love my life and I want to make sure everyday counts!
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
29 Mar 13
Yes, even though I was never able to ha r children full term, god has given me kids that look up to me like a Mom. Have about 6 at least that have thanked me and call me their second mom even. So even though I was never able to have any of my own, I should be thankful I have made an impression on others I know I can care about as well.
@julyteen (13258)
• Davao, Philippines
13 Mar 13
My wife miscarriage our first baby a month after our wedding. I was frustrated and disappointed at that time. In revenge to my wife I leave her and work abroad. Although, I was little bit disappointed with her, still I am hoping that we can have baby soon. I resigned with my job abroad and go back home. We make another baby and thanks God, within that month I arrived she was pregnant and now, our baby is 2 months old.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
29 Mar 13
I have realized even though we never see it at first, that things always happen for a reason. We may not always understand when something first happens, but it is always up to us what we choose to do with this that helps us to be who will later become. I know even though it is upsetting with something like this, it prepares us for better things to come. And look at it now, you have a new little one, and god is going to bless you and you or family from here.
@pahak627 (4198)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
I had also experienced not a miscarriage but a pre-mature delivery. I also think what you thought had that child is alive my life would have been different too.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
27 Mar 13
Yes, who knows where I would be or what I would be doing in life. I do appreciate where my life is going, and feel these are experiences we need to experience sometimes to help make us who we will eventually become.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
hello Tina, Some memories are really hard to forget whether it is good or bad. They say that the best lesson in life are the painful ones. Happy days are sometimes forgotten but the painful memories lingers in our mind (sometimes keeps on coming back reminding us the pain) Life is short, let the memories be a part of us- to remind us, to warn us and make us a better person. I have learned a lot of things from past experiences and memories are kept inside. Sometimes I find myself smiling and sometimes tears voluntarily fall remembering sad moments in life. But that's life...and I must go on (so with everyone) Have a great day dear
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
25 Mar 13
Well it is true that no matter what happens in our life, there will be days that are worse than others, and it is how we choose to deal with these from there that count for me the most. But each day I live is a time to start better memories to live by.
@SIMPLYD (79535)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
Indeed, sad memories that greatly affected us tend to be hard to forget. Though, for me if i came to think of a sad memory, i would usually distract myself by thinking of other happy things, so i won't feel the sadness again. I am sorry for having had a miscarriage. I never experienced that, because we only had one child, now a 22 year old daughter.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
21 Mar 13
Well a lot of times the memories make me feel old, and wonder what would have happened if things could have been different and where would be now? Overall I think god is in control and things do happen for a reason. Even in times we may not always understand it is usually for the best.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
13 Mar 13
Hello, Tina! Thinking about the past, we get to have these lots of question in our minds. But we could never have the real answers for them coz we have chose a different choice. BUT, the road that we went through isn't that bad, coz we are still alive at this time. We still have a lot of years to make our lives a lot better than now. I am lucky that I never had any miscarriage although my eldest son was delivered prematurely and I almost had another premature delivery on my third son. But I thank God that I was able to go through it all safely. As for those who had miscarriages, I am not really sure what is going through their minds. But maybe, some have totally given up their faith in God if they will ever be given a child. But I do pray that they may be enlightened and embrace God's love and pray for his Divine Intervention. Look at you know? You should be the living example.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
21 Mar 13
Well, since this was the first of 3 or 4 miscarriages, it usually means certain times certain things trigger these memories. Most of the time it is dates and then wondering and probably knowing I am way better off.
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
i will agree with you,some memories are really hard to forget even you will try,and for me there are only two kind of memory that i can not forget,the first is the happiness such as bonding with family and other one is the sadness such as breaking up with partner.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
15 Mar 13
I have had miscarriages, but I've also been able to carry pregnancies to term so I've never had to think about the what ifs of if I would have actually ever had a child. However, I still think about my two children that I lost and I really do wonder who they would have been today. My son would have been due in April of 2000 so he would be going on 13 years old. I wonder what he would look like and even if I would have ever met my husband and had the two children that I have. My youngest daughter would have been seven years old and I really think about her often. I wonder how Kathryn would be different if she had a little sister and I also wonder if I would have had Paul when I did had I been able to carry Angel Faith to term.
@salonga (27993)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
God is in control. He allows things to happen for a reason and that reason is always for our own God. I have some friends (at least two of them) who had miscarriages and up to know after long years, they've not have children. If they would still have kids, only God knows. One of them, has decided to adopt while the other is still waiting till God gives her one. I had a miscarriage after waiting for more than ten years for a second child. I did not question God though. I held on to his promise that "...all things work together for good to them that love God and are the called according to his purpose." True enough I find out later that God has a good purpose for that.
• Indonesia
14 Mar 13
I have not in marriage nor have children yet. I think it will change my life a lot when I have one someday I know God will bless us with something we will never expect. We make the plan, God disposes.
@niki5510 (61)
• Bulgaria
14 Mar 13
Dear Tina, My life was not happy but I learned never to look back.I also believe that God knows what is for us.Be grateful and patient.May be next time you will have a large family!May be now you are getting stronger for the future!