I really needed my money back.

United States
March 14, 2013 12:22pm CST
I never loaned my daughter money before this time. If I gave her money it was hers to keep. This time around she had no money to get to work. I went in my box and gave her money and told her to give it back to me when she got paid. She forgot and went back to the loser and when she came here she told me she was sorry she forgot to pay me. then I gave her my credit card to use to get back and forth to work and she used over $40 on that card. so,I told her I really needed my money back when she got paid. so,today she came in with bags from the store where she replaced adrains juice. I said,kay where did you get money to buy this stuff. she said i got paid today. and then I said,so that means I am getting my money today right. then she said,I just bought food for the house.. she bought two boxes of hot pockets. so,now I guess she will not be in need of me again because this was the one time I really needed my money or I would have just gave it to her.
8 people like this
23 responses
@Hatley (159255)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Mar 13
hi gifts this time its not begging to repeat to her that you really really need that money back.Just pretend maybe she did not really hear you the first time. Be very clear and concise. It is not begging.You had told her you needed to be repaid and this is emphasizing the point.be consistent now with her and persistent too. This may be new to her buj you know you have to have that money back.
• United States
14 Mar 13
I would just say I don't have any money to lend or give away and be done with it. I'm sorry that Gifts gets taken advantage of so much. She is just too trusting. She expects a different outcome every time she gets used. I think it's on her to toughen up. Don't listen to any sob stories. Her daughter is lucky her mom still let's her come to the house as much as she has come and gone from that looser boyfriend.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Mar 13
I am not going to worry about the money because she told me how much she got paid. I know she would not make it two weeks if she paid me all the money back.
@cttolledo (2337)
• Batangas, Philippines
14 Mar 13
Well, I cannot relate on this.. when I'm just starting working my mom and my sisters gave me money for my everyday expenses and they did not asked me to give back the money when I get paid. But, when I became stable with my job already, everytime i visit her I gave her a money even though she is not asking for it since she has her own money.
• United States
15 Mar 13
I also give my daughter money and she does not need to pay me back. I just needed this money back for something.
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
14 Mar 13
She should keep her promise and pay you back the money as priority. If I owe my mom money, and she asked me to pay her back, I would definitely keep it in my mind, and when I got paid, I definitely would try to pay her first. Anyway, your daughter already bought that 2 boxes of hot pocket, try to be easy on her this time. No next time, she has to pay you back for real.
• United States
15 Mar 13
I let it go already and she is fine for now. she did not get paid a lot so I know the loser she is with will take what she has left.
@dragon54u (31340)
• United States
14 Mar 13
I never loan money, I make a gift of it. That way I'm not disappointed when it's not paid back. Loans can cause so much strife in relationships and so can borrowing so I never borrow or loan, I just give and let the person know that there are no strings. Surprisingly, I've gotten most of the money back that I gifted. If I had as much stress in my life as you did, I would write off that money and not make any more loans. Since when are hot pockets food? I bought some of those about a month ago to treat myself and wound up throwing them out. They were so gross I wouldn't even let the dogs eat them!
3 people like this
• United States
15 Mar 13
That is strange because the ones I had were very good. I don't have them now because I can't find the taste for them.
• United States
14 Mar 13
When you give your daughter money, you are giving it to her. There is no loaning it to her. That would imply that she is responsible, which she has repeatedly shown that she isn't. She is what she is. It would be nice to think that she will one day be something else, but she's never been given the tools to be anything else. She quit high school; she hasn't gotten her GED; she's involved with abusive riff raff, and she has been in trouble with the law. Kids do come from difficult situations and go on to do something positive with their lives. However, those kids usually have a strong role model or two in their lives. Kay hasn't had that.
3 people like this
• United States
15 Mar 13
When she is ready she will make it. I don't think she wants anything else right now. And she was taught to do the right thing all her life. she chose her path as she got older and with bad people. and she has good role models as well she just wants nothing to do with the right thing right now.
@anuraa32 (2453)
• India
14 Mar 13
Hmmmm. My mom would have been after my life. Though like you, she has give me unrefundable loans. But there are times where it is agreed upon that I will give back and I will give back the money. Somehow, it will never come to my mind to go shopping and spend all the money. It will be first return the money and then go shopping.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Mar 13
She just bought juice and snacks nothing more that $6 but she will need me later on.
1 person likes this
• India
14 Mar 13
you should ask her about it again and again till she gives you your money. This is very common that people use other when they need them and then they forgot about them.you have to remind that very time. may be then she gives you ur money back
3 people like this
• United States
14 Mar 13
I plan to mention it the next time she needs my card for train fair. then she will be able to listen to me.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30153)
• Eugene, Oregon
14 Mar 13
It seems that we as parents are always helping out our children. My daughter will be 38 at the end of April, and it seems like she hasn't grown up yet. She has borrowed lots from me, and I have still not seen it. I have seen some of it, but not all. I told her, that I will no longer give her anymore money for anything. The sad thing of it is, I made the mistake of financing a vehicle for her, and for the longest time, I had to end up paying the monthly payment. She has finally realized that it is hers, as she drives it. I have never seen it, as I live in Oregon, and she lives in Iowa. She keeps promising to pay me what she owes me every month, but I figured it would never happen, as she has bills to pay, and her husband only gets paid every two weeks, so the money has to stretch out. I told her, that I might be financing her car, but I am not going to be responsible for the payments every month. She actually doesn't want me to pay for it. I do pay only $125 of it every month, as it is easier for her to come up with the rest that way. The sad thing of it is, Toyota keeps calling me for their money, and I keep telling them that she is paying it. I finally had to block them from calling me, as it has got to be to much. I just wish my daughter were more responsible. I can only hope anyway. Take care gifts, and have a good day.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Mar 13
I think we always help out children in their time of need. I help her because it is always to get to and from her job. but,this time I am very upset and she needs to learn how to deal with me when it comes to my money.
1 person likes this
@sedel1027 (17868)
• United States
14 Mar 13
I would still be asking for my money back. She did something nice buy replacing the juice, but 2 boxes of hot pockets is not food for the house.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Mar 13
If I ask again that to me would be begging and I am not about to beg her to give me anything. she will need me again and that is when I will be telling her that I can't help her.
1 person likes this
@blackrusty (3532)
• Mexico
14 Mar 13
I to have been burned many time and sadly as she is your child I bet she thinks she does not have to repay it because your family if you loan money get it in writing with both people signing
• United States
14 Mar 13
I would never sign anything with my daughter to loan her money. I never loaned her money so she was not use to me needing it back. but,this time around I really told her I would need the money back and now she packed up an left for her friends house.
1 person likes this
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
14 Mar 13
Thats a shame, you are always putting yourself out for her and she shows not appreciation..She replace those hot pockets because she knows what happened to them for sure... If you are stuck for cash just me a call..I may can help you if your needs are not to crazy....LOL....
2 people like this
• United States
15 Mar 13
Your right but,she did offer to give me $20 of it and I ended up telling her not to worry about it. She did not have a lot of hours this work period and I knew afterwards she was not paid much.
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
My family have been so gracious to me all these years and then all of a sudden, I felt embarrassed to be receiving money at a certain age and I was already working at that. Then they also realized that, yes, I should already be on my own. I was so broke lately that I needed their help. All of them offered help. I really needed a big amount. I have started to pay them back one by one. I could feel their trust because no matter how small I am giving them at the moment, at least I have kept my promise.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Mar 13
That is all that counts to be honest. that your trying the best you can to make it better.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
14 Mar 13
She sounds just like my older brother. He to this day complains he has no money, or begs for money. When he does have money he never pays it back, I can't count the number of times when I gave him money and I never saw it again. I feel sorry for my Grandmother who has been out thousands because of him. When he get the money he would spend it like nothing, and then say I don't have the money. He would do that buy food, and buy only things he likes.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
15 Mar 13
You have to put your foot down on this Gifts. Do NOT lend her money again until she pays you for the first time. I lent my daughter money once and she did not pay me back. It really through my budget off-kilter. I almost NEVER lend out money unless I am going to be ok if the person defaults because it is always a risk. Well, like you, I let it happen again. This time, I absolutely refused to lend her another dime until she paid me back at least for the 2nd loan. I pretty much wrote off the first one but that was it. she is my daughter and I would never ever ever let your go hungry or cold. i do help her out a lot but she now knows that a financial loan just won't happen ever again if she ever burns me again...just won't. I did not lend her money for a long time after that 2nd time and she has since been very good at paying me back. I don't even have to ask her. In fact sometimes she tries to pay me back when I am just being kind and trying to help her out. Last week her son needed diapers and I went out and bought some. When she got paid, she tried to pay me for them. I told her to just keep her money. That was a gift. I am very clear to her on when I NEED to get paid back.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Mar 13
I gave her my credit card to pay her train fare t and from work whiel she was here. I saw that she would not have enough left if she paid me back. so,I will let this one go.
@akingh (43)
• India
15 Mar 13
well that's a very bad thing she must have returned ur money back when she got paid off you should try asking her ..again .......
1 person likes this
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
14 Mar 13
you always say that but you never keep your word ever, you said this time it would be it if she went back to the loser, well she went back and you did nothing. You say you will not lend her money anymore but you know you will so why write that you won't. The story is not getting old it is very very old and there is no change on her behavour on her part or your part.
1 person likes this
@ksktika (271)
• United States
15 Mar 13
since i got a job, i never ask my mum for money, and in my life, my mum will never ask anything from me. except i give something to her. so my opinion, you should not ask the money back. there is no loan between mum and daughter, but next time, you should not give her money again next time.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
15 Mar 13
Hi Ksktika, Actually, giving loans and expecting to be paid back is a really good way for parents to teach their kids responsibility. My parents were very giving but there were times when I got a loan from my dad and yes..it was expected to be paid back. I was an adult and wanted to be treated like one. That being the case, why would I treat my dad any differently than I would any other person that I borrowed money from? If one wants to be an independent adult (and they should) then it works two ways. You can't be dependent on parents and still be independent at the same time. The cool thing about borrowing from parents is that there is no interest rate.
@TLilly12 (1230)
• United States
3 Apr 13
This is one reason why, I don't like giving money to people, who will not pay me back,I just won't help them, no matter what they are going through, I need my money for myself that is why, I work hard here online, to get it.
• Indonesia
3 Apr 13
Since she thinks you are her parent, so maybe she kind of belittle the need to pay you back. But if she really needs you again, I think she will come to you again sooner or later even though she didn't pay you back yet. However since you are her parent, and she's your child no matter what, I think you always will keep thinking the best for her and help her. Although this time you seem to be hard on her, but it can teach her to be more responsible.
@dorannmwin (36697)
• United States
16 Mar 13
I do know what you mean about needing your money back but I also have to say that I would never loan money to my children, I would give them money even if it meant that I was going to be broke. That said, I think that you were in the wrong to give her money to get to and from work because she does have a job and she is old enough that she should be able to at least budget her money so that she would have the money to get to and from work until the next time that she is paid.