when people or friends do not understand you

India
March 15, 2013 2:45pm CST
hi friends.i do not like breaking rules and doing stupid things due to which i can be scolded. in college time, many times there came situations even now when i do nt do something my friends would plan to because i scared of results and its not good to break rules. i dont like hurting my parents if my teachers would complain them. so i not accompanied them my friends. and they called me coward. i felt bad. they were my friends. even then they wont understand me. i did right. doing right things and folowing rules are signs of a coward?? what do u think? does it happens with you?
6 responses
• St. Peters, Missouri
15 Mar 13
What you're talking about is peer pressure. It's been happening for many many years and will continue to happen for many many more. I was a victim and I'm sure many others on myLot were as well. Those who follow a moral compass seem to suffer from it quite a bit, but all feel it. It's really someone who is doing something he/she knows he/she shouldn't do and is trying to convince (guilt) others into also doing it so he/she can use the excuse "They did it too" if they get caught. Also, when others join in on these things, the person applying the pressure feels less guilty. Saying no to peer pressure doesn't make you a coward. It's those that choose to go their own way and stand up for what they believe is right that are righteous and succeed in life.
• India
15 Mar 13
thank you so much for nice wordings.and i am feeling relieved. thanx :)
• Cyprus
15 Mar 13
Well, when your friends are like this you dont even have to talk with them,the best way is find some other friend. and be with your parent more.
@spicymary (558)
• Romania
15 Mar 13
Well... It depends on so many things: how your parents are, what are your personal values, what kind of rules we are talking about, what kind of consequences we are talking about. If I have to give some examples from my experience... I wouldn't take the risk, in high-school or college to tell the answers at an exam to a friend of mine, when I would know that the teacher would fail me for this. I just don't think it's appropriate. I learned, the friend don't know, why take the chance to be in a really bad situation, just because I want to be friendly? If I know the teacher doesn't care about this, I would tell him answers to pass, but not to take the best grade. It should be a difference between those who worked and those who don't. But I was annoyed in high-school (all other mates were angry, I was just annoyed), when we all wanted to skip a class and only one wanted to stay. I don't think the parents would've been angry about one class skiped, the consequences were just an absence without leave and there were no risks. I thought of that being opportunism and malice. I think in that particular case, following the rules is not always the best idea. A smart person would think each situation differently. Rules are from multiple kinds also, those who can be break and those who can't. Or maybe just the case of my country, where the rules are relative in general... :P
• India
16 Mar 13
yeah i know.. but the situations i were talking was with my friend group (6 friends) only.. not like mass bunking the class...me too have bunked manyh a times :P :)
@Raine38 (9193)
• United States
15 Mar 13
I don't think they are considered true friends. If they are, they will not make you feel bad or get you in trouble with your parents or school. But if it seems like they are the ones who make you feel bad by your own choices, maybe it's time for you to seek another friends.
• India
15 Mar 13
hmm i know they are not my true friends. but you know grouping among friends. so its like all that and i feel that i am wrong not having dare to do such things.
• United States
15 Mar 13
Well, if they are really your true friends, they should understand you. You dont have to do what your friends want you to do. And doing the right thing is not a coward. Just ignore them and do what you think is right.
• India
15 Mar 13
yeah i try to.thanku
• Marikina, Philippines
11 Apr 13
You are not a coward. It happens that you are different from them. I also cannot say that they are not your friends. Maybe they have different personality and character than you and so, it is better to have a like-minded people that can be your friend until the end of time or you can teach them the right path but, if they did not want to change and be the same of what they are, let them be. There is a saying : Birds of the same feather, flock together. I think you are not one of them.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
16 Mar 13
Friends should set good examples to each one. And if you think that they are becoming more of a bad influence, then I think it is best to stay away from them. Why would they do things which they know might endanger them? I think that sticking to what you think is right shows that your parents have brought you up real good.