Too Bitter About The Past

I'm sorry you've had so much hardship in your life. Especially from the military who I have heard other stories of being completely F*ed over because of an injury or mental illness. Its pretty sickening they will do that. I had a mother who had past physical abuse... I don't think she ever got over it. My sister was also abused for 7 years in her marriage. I can't imagine what that does to a person. You ... shouldn't have to be "over it"... just that I hope one day you can over come it for your own right.

I still think about the bad things that happened in the past. Sometimes I think: Why can't I just put it behind me and enjoy the life that I have today? But it is not that easy to let go of the past. There are many things from my past that makes me sad and angry and I wish that those things were different. I can't change the past, I can only change the way that I look at the past. I know that, but sometimes it is very hard for me let go of the negative feelings that are related to things from the past. I talk to my therapist about those things, and I hope that I will be able to put those things behind me one day and focus on the things that happen today and the life that I have today.

Because none of my perpetrators were actually brought to justice or made to pay for the abuse and bullying they inflicted on me both as a child and as an adult, I never got proper closure, I am still bitter and still angry, as well as hatred, and it doesn't help living under the same roof as my father who is a bully and uses mental abuse on both mum and I. Living in a toxic environment is not healthy I know that. My therapist told me straight today, it's because that justice was never seen to be done that I feel so angry and bitter. I still carry around with me a lot of the past and the wrongdoing, that is why I am so damn mistrustful of people, and also why I prefer my own company. So I am hollering I hear you and know exactly how you feel my friend, if that helps?

I still have issues from my past that I don't even realize still are a problem until something comes up that brings them back to me. I think that sometimes we have to do a closure on things. Maybe the counselor needs to come from a different direction on that. Maybe more help with how to cope with those feelings when they do come up. And why you can't put these things totally behind you.

Hi moon, fortunately I don't have any of those issues but I can definately tell you have some issues with your past..I really wish I could say something to help you because you can really read the hurt in your post.. Do you believe in GOD??? for with you asking him to help you I can't help to believe that he will come to your rescue on getting over all those ill feelings of your past...especially when you now feel that your life is in a much better state..I am not saying you should forget them but just fine a better way to deal with your past and enjoy your present... I really wish you success on getting some results to your issues...

I am very angry about things that have happened in the past and worried about things that will happen in the future. My therapist has been working with me using DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) and mindfulness. It helps you focus on what you can change (the present) and not focus on the past and future other than what you can learn from it. Anyway - I'm hollerin' out. Been there, done that, still a mess.

It sounds to me as if you might feel better if you could confront those that abused you. Talking to a therapist I'm sure helps you sort out your feelings but it does not get rid of that rage inside of you that just makes you want to shout and let them know what they did to you. Without that, you don't have any real closure. I was in an abusive marriage and i will say that it made a mountain of difference when he (years later) told me that he felt horrible for how he treated me and that he still had nightmares over those days. It just helped.

We all must deal with the past, some had good times but many had bad. What you must do now is learn to release the pain and angry feelings. Find a violent exercise, nit something, even if it's a pillow, throw something, just a ball, run a race, around the block. Anything you can do to redirect that painful energy. It will get better, and the plus side is you get some exercise. I dig in the garden, and yes even in my seventies I am still working off my past. Once you have exercised off whatever negative energy you have, it seems to hide in nooks and around corners and jumps out at you in little bits and bad dreams, then you will feel free to focus on the good things in your life, with no taint of the bad. Blessings

I am sure no one has been spared for having bad memories. And for a time about 23 years 20 years ago, I was haunted by my past and that I would really bump my head for hating that part of my life.If there was just anyway not to be reminded of it. But after so many years, I have learned to forgive myself and told myself that it has to happen somehow. And I just hoped that the person involved would have a much better life even without me.

After suffering comes happiness.You might as well stop worrying about the past and live in the present.All heals over with time.

Memories that are painful and sad are the hardest memories to forget. They are taken more deeply than happy memories. Anything you see or hear triggers the memories and that is where you would recall all of them back even if you try to get over and forget them for years. Wounds slowly heal but it takes time.Try to slowly face them but don't force yourself. Learn to accept them that it has already happen and learn from it and use it to your advantage.It's good to experience things that are bitter so you can become stronger in the future.