Is this a conspiracy? I need some insight into this topic.....

@angemac23 (2006)
Canada
March 18, 2013 8:56am CST
Are men intimidated by smart, honest, good women who would treat them well? Or do they simply not like women like this? I am educated, self sufficient, have a full-time and well-paying job, I am honest, I do not drink or do drugs or smoke or gamble, I have tons of hobbies and interests, I was raised in a good family, I am friendly, I respect myself and others, I am clean and tidy around the house, I am not lazy, and I have been told I am very good-looking....but every man I have ever dated or lived with or had any relationship with treated me like complete and total dirt....I have been cheated on, misleaded, lied to, neglected and just never treated right....on the other hand, I see women who are completely useless (i hate to use that word but for lack of a better term, this describes the women I am talking about) being treated like princesses. I have dated men who treated me like crap and after I dump them, they move onto to one of these "useless" women and treat her the way they should have treated me....to get rid of any confusion, here is an example of one of the "useless" women I am talking about....I'll use one of my friends who used to be my roomate to describe the type of women I see being treated well while I get treated like dirt...this women is 1) on welfare and refuses to work 2) is so dirty around the house that I actually saw maggots around her kitchen sink once 3) Has no education - not even high school 4) has never had a job 5) expects men to pay her way because she has no money 6) drinks like a fish 7) smokes pot 8) dresses like a slob 9) has a potty mouth and every second word out of her mouth is a curse word 10) is 100 pounds overweight 11) does not have any hobbies or interests except TV and sleeping 12) sleeps until 4pm every day and than wakes up and surfs the net until bedtime 13) sleeps with guys on the first date 14) She had a baby when she 17 after a one-night stand with three guys in the back of a van and didn't know which one was the father. 15) she is loud and ignorant to the point that she cannot be taken in public 16) she is rude 17) she has a very bad temper and is demanding and on top of all this, she has a sense of entitlement, makes fun of other people who work and have lives and she is 32 years old!!!! this is one example of the type of woman I see all types of men treating her like a princess and respecting her and treating her well... I do not have low self esteem and I am choosy in who I date. I do not date guys who drink or do drugs, I do not date guys who have had bad family life growing up, I do date guys who have bad reputations.....but no matter what I do, I get treated like crap! Does anyone else have this problem? Is this a common phenomenon? It seems to me that men love women who treat them like crap and walk all over them and disrespect good women for some reason!
3 people like this
4 responses
@dragon54u (31352)
• United States
18 Mar 13
This might sound nuts, but it's probably not the mens' faults, it's probably yours. I've been through the very same thing. After my divorce I did some very intensive thinking and self-examination and realized that I have always chosen the wrong men to love. Worse, I actually attracted them! Whatever it is in our upbringing that causes us to choose the wrong men, it is something we have to correct if we want a healthy relationship with a decent person. I know that I choose the wrong men but I'm 58 and pretty much done with that part of my life so I'm not going to spend the time and effort for therapy. Who knows, maybe I'll figure it out myself eventually. Many women choose men like their fathers, just as men choose women like their mothers. If a father treats a daughter with indifference she'll usually be attracted to an indifferent man and wonder why he won't give her the attention she craves. If her dad mistreated her mother she may find herself in physically or emotionally abusive relationships. You need to decide what it is that attracts you to those men--what they give you or not give you, what need they feed. Once you discover that and work on either correcting it or altering how you satisfy that need you'll have a chance to meet all the decent, appreciative men out there.
@angemac23 (2006)
• Canada
18 Mar 13
I understand what you are saying but I think you misunderstood some of what I said....first of all, My father was and still is the best father any kid could ask for! I was brought up in the best possible way and I can thank both my parents for this....and about choosing the wrong guys? On numerous occasions, I dated a man who treated me like crap but went on to date one these "useless" women and treated her like a princess....I cannot think of anything I do to men to make them treat me badly....I am respectful, thoughtful, giving, honest, loving etc.....and the women who treat them like crap get treated well. I have dated guys who had reputations for being well-liked, respectable men who treat women well but they end up treating me like crap....this is a total mystery to me! I am not a b**ch, I am not demanding, I am not rude, I do not expect men to pay my way and bow down to me or anything...I am everything you would think a man would want in a woman but they end up with women who have nothing to offer!
@angemac23 (2006)
• Canada
18 Mar 13
whats even more of a mystery is how a woman like the example I used in my first post gets treated like total royalty...and she has absolutely nothing to offer any man except to treat him like dirt....one of those mysteries that I may never solve!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31352)
• United States
18 Mar 13
I just gave the father-daughter relationship as an example. It could be a first love experience that set the bar, or something traumatic in someone's childhood. I must not have expressed myself very well. I don't really care why men want women who treat them shabbily, the main consideration is why you are attracted to such men that aren't capable of appreciating you. They need the bad treatment by those women for some reason and since you are not capable of treating them that way the relationship can't thrive. Yet you are attracted to that type of man. I may be way off base but it wouldn't hurt to examine what you want, what's keeping you from getting it, and how to avoid people that complicate your life.
• Canada
19 Mar 13
Hi Angemac I have known ladies like this on welfare the whole nine yards and you are absolutely right they always seem to be like the bees with all the honey. Just remember never change who you are and be thankful you are not with any man who would take them over you stand your ground be who you are and your prince will come you just have not met him yet!
@Aja103654 (5663)
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
I suspect that men view you as someone who doesn't need a man in your life at all. That is why they feel useless around you so they go to women who need them. Also, maybe you are too kind to them so these guy take you for granted. Or maybe you just met many jerks. Not all men would pass you up as a partner. The way you describe yourself, I think you will make a very good partner.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
18 Mar 13
These men that treat women poorly are losers and they are actually more comfortable with women who are losers as well. I highly doubt that they are treating these women any better than they treated you. At the beginning, they ALL treat you like a princess and then eventually the true colors come out. I don't know why you attract those guys but I think it is more important to ask yourself why you are not attracted (maybe don't even notice) the ones that would treat you like you deserve. You mentioned that you would not date someone with a bad family upbringing. Well, I personally know many men that have overcome and risen above their poor upbringing. My daughter is married to one and he is the best husband and father that she could have asked for. He had a horrible upbringing.