Sometimes Pain is the only teacher people will listen to...

@chiyosan (29383)
Philippines
March 18, 2013 8:10pm CST
Don't you think? Its like people won't listen to you and they will not take any warnings even from a friend who have been to the same situation. Do you agree that often it is when we are hurt and when we feel pain that we get to acknowledge that we were wrong after all? But why do we people have to be hurt in order for us to learn? Can't we just know before hand and not experience being hurt? Its a vicious cycle.. we try, we push through, we don't listen... we get hurt and then we'd confirm.. and say we should have done things differently... Your thoughts?
3 people like this
15 responses
@niki5510 (61)
• Bulgaria
19 Mar 13
May be if someone has no failure he will never understand what real success is.This is the natural way of learning and getting wisdom.Some kind of curiosity to feel and experience something by yourself not listening to the warnings of the others.Nobody can prevent us from the lessons of life.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
i agree with you, There can be no true success when we are not able to accept that we too can fail. I have watched in a series and it was said in there that the true rich men that have become very successful in their businesses have proven that they were able to overcome so many trials that came their way.
• Malaysia
20 Mar 13
like what Winston Churchill say......the success is nearby until the failure and time is longer. i think this is what he mean.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
22 Mar 13
hehe thank you koon. :D this is what most successful people are able to do, overcome the failures and even if the failures are many, they do know that they will learn from this and get better.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
Your discussion is like an arrow to the heart. I have experienced that pain way too many times, it's the most potent way for us learn although it takes quite a long time to heal and sometimes people don't heal at all and become twisted.
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
yeah when i learn how to repair car, i alway need to see how my brother settle the problem but i still don't understant it until i get it in my own hand feel the pain and that time i really know what to do. that is the most important lesson ever i lesson
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
that is what our pastor told us too.. he said when he was a child his mom told him never to go near the stove as it is always hot. but being curious he touched it and looked at his mom and then when it was indeed hot... that is the time he listened and never went near the place! =) Its really just what we humans are often, its what makes us "us". its the need to know and experience first hand. =)
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
The results can be devastating sometimes. We learn from positive experience but we learn even more from negative experiences. That's how life is.
• Romania
19 Mar 13
Hi chiyosan, I believe that we do this because from our childhood our parents, teachers and relatives taught us to be ourselves, to do what we like, that life will be hard and we need to handle difficult situations in our life. We want to live our life the way we want and deal with challenges, we don't know how it will end, and even if we heard someone's story we say:"that won't happen to me" If there was a book of life maybe we have learned it but life is only one and it's so short, we don't have time to learn, we need to live it the way we want, even if we'll get hurt.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
hi riverlight, yes often we just shrug and say this and that won't happen but we will never know and we can never be too prepared for something as life often always have a way of making things and surprising us. I think its really just about this - we have to live our lives and if we cannot avoid getting hurt, we can at least try to understand and listen from those who have already been through what we have. =)
• Malaysia
20 Mar 13
hey riverlight, in chinese culture older people or your parent or older level did teach us the value of respect other. it been past from generation to generation, that is greatt
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
22 Mar 13
thank you so much koon, respect for the elders are important and it is for me, important too that we will have valued what they have taught us.
@wdwgirl (23)
• United States
19 Mar 13
As the old saying goes. People learn from mistakes, the smart ones learn from others mistakes. Unfortunately with some people you can give them advice until you are blue in the face and they wont listen. Those ones just let them go on about their business and let them learn from their own mistakes so you can save your breath for someone who will listen. That is my opinion :)
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
i not a smart people, so i am an average people and learn by doing mistake. hahaha
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Hi there girl, and koon. thank you so much for your response! =) I know there are people who are cautious and though they learn by their own mistakes, they are careful to consider where others have gone wrong and learn from it too... and so they improved and are better and have less pains, and issues that they have to face. have a wonderful day.
• Malaysia
20 Mar 13
this type of people sound like average people. i do agree
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
I think this is because of our freedom or power to choose. we are responsible to the result of our own actions and I think it is but Justice to practice this freedom without being influenced by anyone. the sad part though is when you say, "i should have listened to your warning" :-(
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
Hi there Jaycee! Its true, and yeah i have been in such a situation too in my life.. but just one mistake and i know better now, I try to be always careful about what I do and I always am trying to keep in mind what others have told me and what others have asked me to do for a certain typeof concern... etc. I try to stay away from what has hurt others so i do try to protect myself.
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
sometime becouse of feeling arrogant, we are make silly thing and as a result pain and that is the right teacher
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
that's true when we are not focused and we are not learning by ourselves and from others, we won't get away from any pains and hurts at all.
19 Mar 13
Not all people experience pain and being hurt learn of what they did...Like for example in the relationship some people hold on to their feelings and try to fix everything although they know it is not worth it..They get hurt from it but still they did not learn..to be hurt is normal, we get lesson from it..If we are not going to be hurt, no more challenge in life.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Hi shang, that is true, te example you gave is similar to many people i know and its not learning that hurts the person even more.... I agree that it happens and i agree that often we have to learn from whatever experience we have... and we must always know this.
• Malaysia
20 Mar 13
it like love experience, if you not go to tackle girl. result how do you know she like you?
@squallming (1777)
• Malaysia
23 Mar 13
I have always believed in what you just said. Though I think it's not only pain, perhaps some punishment will be able to make people realize their mistake and grow up. Everybody have their own opinion and view of things. Most of them wrong but they still want to act on their belief. Eventually they will fall and suffer. Only these suffering will have the chance to change them for the better.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
hi squalming, often we learn by our own mistakes, its hard to accept that people would tell us and we would always just shun those and think that we will never have such experiences right?
@stanley777 (7175)
• Philippines
22 Mar 13
Yes, it's true but it could be a sort of a challenge too, because by being hurt we could become stronger. Sometimes we need to feel the pain before we learned something from that experienced. I think too that through pain we become more stronger the next time around.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
hi thee stanley. thank you for your response. =) thats true maybe we all have to go through pain ourselves so we would learn.
@ayano678 (441)
19 Mar 13
if you do not want to get hurt, do not do wrong. but his name alive, even though everything is good and true, yet we certainly will not hurt.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
hi Ayan, yes, this is the truth, but it does not appear to be that simple when it comes to us and our lives and relationships. often as much as we try... we still aren't able to be free from pains and hurts.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
19 Mar 13
I think that there are not too many statements that are more true than the statement that you've made here. What I'm saying is that there were a lot of times that my mother told me that I shouldn't make certain decisions in my life because I would only end up hurt. Well, I didn't listen to her and the end result of those decisions that I'd made were that I ended up getting hurt by other people and it was only after that happened to me that I was able to say to her that she was right in what she'd told me.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Hi Doranmwin! =) thank you for your response and well yes that is what i also have been getting and hearing from my mother and i would often not listen to her, always telling her that her life is different and that we are not the same person... but we end up always talking to each other and she would know that i admit defeat that she was right after all. though i won't tell her, she feels that i have realized that anyhow. =)
• Portugal
19 Mar 13
Pain is the mother of all lessons. But the only way people learn lessons is by felling it in first person... most won't repeat it again, hopefully. But some love to indulge in it over and over again...!
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Hmm i guess that is right. =) we learn all the more when we have experienced it first hand. =)
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
right same with me attitude in the past but now i am so okey to really listen, as i want to avoid silly pain. ahmmmmmmmm
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
hi koon, often we just are reluctant to be told by others but there are times that i know we are okay to listen. =) thank you for sharing your experience with us.
• India
19 Mar 13
maybe because each of us are indivijual in the way of thinking and experience of what others they say or maybe it is becuase those ones do not believe they will hurt and think they can do that better than others and they will nerer fail. my husband is one of those, whatever they say to him this is wrong he would never listen and think that there is no power in the world who is able to hurt him. he fails even but never care, then he blame on strange things.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
Hi extreme fun, thank you so much for sharing this with us. I agree we are all so different that we think our case would be different and we would never have expected to be put in the same situation, right? =) I think we just need to be able to understand everything around us and not work as if nothings going to happen, we do need to plan and to be careful... about what we do.
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
It's part of human nature, I guess, that they need to really experience it before realizing that it was something that they should have avoided and have listened to the warnings told by family or friends. We always get the thinking that if a certain thing came out bad to another person, we think that we might not have the same experience and always hope that a good thing would happen instead.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
hi Jenny... it probably is a nature that we all have to experience. often there are little things we could have learned from others, right so that we would have avoided doing something and in the process learned to do it the better way. i guess it is true for most of us that we learn from our mistakes, not from others... :D thank you jenny for your response! have a great day!! :D
• United States
19 Mar 13
Some people not all learn the hard way in life. They can hear you say something ten times and they don't get it. that is me sometimes and I like to have the final say in what I will do with my life.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
Hi gifts i think this is pretty normal for a lot of people to not listen and still do things their way. of course there are instances that if we listen and had not tried to do things as we want it, if can give a different result, we could have avoided being hurt in the process.. but then again we learn when we are pained, and we learn when we do things our way. it is kind of hard learning from people's experiences and we are not in it to experience what went wrong. It should be good, though that we know that we should take precautions, we have been warned, so they say. thank you for your response! :D