I don't want to lose you...

@toniganzon (50035)
Philippines
March 22, 2013 9:03am CST
It's not often that we find friends in this world we can confide our deepest secrets with. It's rare to find a friend we can open our hearts without inhibitions. It's hard to trust someone in this world. I learned that when I finally left my home to live in a foreign country with a friend who eventually abandoned me. It's not easy for me to trust anybody anymore so I am very cautious now. Then I met someone, who, like me, was needing a friend in this foreign land. We both felt comfortable talking to each other, laughing with each other and opening our hearts to each other. I felt the first time that I could be very honest with this person. I can be me. I can reveal my true self to this person. We even share the same fear. Fear of losing each other. I hope that won't happen at all.
3 people like this
20 responses
@celticeagle (118280)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Mar 13
Being cautious is always smart in this world today. It is a shock to the system when we leave what is common to us and go to something totally different. I am happy to hear that you have found this new friend. Perhaps this fear of losing this friend will make you take good care of this other friendship so you never lose it.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
i was flattered that he told me he didn't want to lose me. I think it only means that he wants to take care of our friendship. I think it comes with age. He is 15 years older than me and he's a wise person. We are both adults and we both have had our share of ups and downs in life. I think that's what makes our friendship special. We both know how to take care of friends because of what we experienced in the past.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (118280)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Mar 13
That is the best type of friendship. That which come from the experiences of life. Nurture it well, they don't come around every day.
@SIMPLYD (79762)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
In our life, we will meet friends who we thought were our true friends , only to discover later that they aren't. I hope this new friend of yours will indeed be a true friend to you Toni , because i know how lonesome it is to have no one to share your stories and thoughts in a foreign land.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
I hope so too D! He's a very gentle person. He's turning 50. His wife and kids are here and he's luckier than me to have his family around. But he doesn't have time to make new friends in this foreign land until he found me hahaha.
@SIMPLYD (79762)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
You have found for yourself an uncle , there in a foreign country, TOni.
@julyteen (13258)
• Davao, Philippines
23 Mar 13
As long as you didn't closed the door to the opportunity that you can find another individual who you can trust if not 100%, atleast you can trust to keep a certain secret. Life is a constant change. There are times comes unexpected. Your friend now in foreign land is the one you didn't expecting for.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
We both didn't expect each other. So we're just happy that we did find each other.
@julyteen (13258)
• Davao, Philippines
24 Mar 13
That was called unexpected incidence happened to both you. You don't know who and where you find you close friend. If you are a friendly person you can find them anywhere, either online or offline
• India
23 Mar 13
well, finding a true friend is really difficult nowadays. people misuse others by knowing about their problems in the life. I do have a friend of mine, from school time till now, and we share so many things and we really feel fresh when we are together. now I am far from her as I do not live in my country.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
I hope that you still keep in touch with each other though. Distance cannot really affect true friendship.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
We always want that our relationships would turn out right. But you must also be aware that because of some circumstances, relationships can be broken, well, they may not be permanently, but at least you should know what to do.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
We are both aware of that, that's why we both fear losing each other because nobody could guess what's gonna happen in the future. If were weren't aware, we wouldn't have that fear at all.
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Mar 13
I have 2 friends that I feel this way about, where I can tell them anything and it would never be judged or go any further. One is online and one is offline. They are both amazing friends and I would not want to lose either of them. I would be lost without them.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
I met this friend online because we were both lonely and we found each other in a site where nobody seemed to use. We started talking from there and we felt very comfortable with each other. We both decided we would meet when I come back from my vacation.
@Zer0Stats (1316)
• India
22 Mar 13
Yes it's pretty hard trusting people out there but it's important because you cannot get close to and maintain friendships or relationships of any kind if you don't trust them.Some people,of course,cannot be trusted no matter what.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
Trust is very important in all kinds of relationship. And it's something that cannot be easily given to another.
@redredrose (1107)
• United States
22 Mar 13
I am so sorry you lost a friend but glad you found another. I have only 2 friends like the one you describe here that you can be yourself with tell your deepest secrets to. I have a hard time trusting people and knowing who i can just be myself with. So i only have a few really close friends. Tho i always say what i have been told through out my life that it is better to have 2 maybe 3 or 4 really close friends than it is to have 10 or 20 just good friends.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
I'm not sorry that i have lost that friend. She did some terrible things to me and I realized she was never a friend at all. It was a relief actually.
@slim116 (34)
• China
22 Mar 13
yeah,absolutely.we need friends.and if we meet some true friends,we don't want to lose them forever.we can share all our thoughts and feelings with them.in particular,a person in a strange city,there is a true friend is particularly important. but,sometimes we just can't stay with one friend forever and not separate.cause the work,family,or some other reasons.we have to separated with our friends.but don't worry,even if we separated,our hearts are still together,care of each other.cause we are the true friends.
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
What he meant in not wanting to lose me is not the distance. Because we don't see each other everyday but we talk. We are both foreigners in this country and we both feel lonely being away from our friends. He's luckier than me because he's family's here, but he's too busy with his job to spend time with him. That's why we found each other. Distance can never separate one from a true friend.
@Dias14 (178)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 13
It's hard when we're disappointed and open hearts to others. It feels like we're protected by ourselves for being cautious. But I suggest you don't be too cautious, it could just be that make someone be disinclined towards you that do not want to approach you because of your attitude. You better behave and learn from your experience, it may just be there should you fix from your attitude so far.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
I am far from not being approachable. I'm a very friendly person and people always feel comfortable being with me. But you cannot expect me to trust anybody easily, especially after what happened to me.
@chiyosan (29438)
• Philippines
22 Mar 13
I am glad and happy for you that you have somehow recovered and have opened up to someone like you have to this person.. especially after you have been betrayed by someone you trusted as much in the past. I have been in the situation and was betrayed too many times... so i have never (even to this day) ever considered being that close again to someone - to anyone and i always have this space between them that yes we spend time together, but they never are the ones i would tell my secrets too. I hope and pray that your relationship and friendship with this person will flourish and will be great as well. =)
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
I hope so too. He's someone with an open mind like me and almost shares the same interests as me though we both grew up in a totally different culture.
@Rick1950 (1565)
• Lima, Peru
22 Mar 13
Hi Toni, it is good if you have met someone you can share feelings and talk with. But keep being cautious as you say. People can change, sometimes when they don't want to do it. Anyway I wish you good luck. :)
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
Thanks Rick. With what i had experienced here, i am very cautious about it. That past experience is a constant reminder but I am not the kind of person who would close my door permanently to positive things that will come my way.
• India
22 Mar 13
yeah really true. its really very hard to find a true friend who will be with you always.. but atleast there should be one such a friend at a time,so that we can share with him or her and trust him. beacause its difficult to live without trusting someone and sharing happy and sad times with him.. sharing multiplies joy and divides sorrows. so dont be afraid. like u need and want your friend, the same way your friend.. just be your best with your friendship and it will go for longggg..... take care :) God bless you and your friendship :)
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
Thanks. There's no telling what the future holds for us. So I just enjoy the moment of our friendship at the moment.
@yanzalong (10151)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 13
You are now back to your home country meaning that she is not with you at the moment. Am I right Toni? Where does she come from?
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
I'm not yet back home. I will probably go home this week. He is here in Bangkok but he's French.
@yanzalong (10151)
• Indonesia
24 Mar 13
I hope your relationahip with him won't ruin your family life because your husband may not like it. He may be jealous. So, be careful.
@alberello (4755)
• Italy
23 Mar 13
Well, even if in my childhood I had to deal with many people, now friends, I mean, real friends, I only have three! In other words, better few but good! You know, even I have attended in the past people in times of need (needs them!) Seemed to be really hearted people, but when no longer needed me, I was literally abandoned, and I on this, there remained very bad! However, friends who attend today are different, if they can help me and I therefore do the same for them. I still have to say however that I, unlike you, Im not not migrated to a foreign land!
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
I don't like seeking help from my friends. Even with my family i don't like asking for help. But they know me and when they can sense that i badly need it, they just help me on their own. That's why my new friend told me there's nothing wrong with asking help from people. He's trying to help me ease the pain and burden that i have in my heart. But i'm not that ready yet to ask help from him.
@koopharper (6284)
• Canada
22 Mar 13
Glad to hear that you have found a good friend. Hope that things go well for you while you work in this foreign country.
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
Me too. I'm going back home for a vacation but will be back in May.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
22 Mar 13
If it does happen there is a reason for it. For example the fact you don't need eachother anymore. I hope you both have way more in common as just the fear to be alone in a foreign country. Keep in mind that fear is very strong and can ruin a lot. It's better to get over your fears and start living instead of being feared you will lose eachother.
@toniganzon (50035)
• Philippines
23 Mar 13
I don't think we actually have that fear. I think the stronger emotion is the longing to be together as friends.
• Morocco
24 Mar 13
To find a real and right friend is a great thing in life,i wish you could garde your friend to share the good and bad things,this is a meaning of friendship,for me I found a friend that I ever knew but I lost here and I regret just if I could to kept a past and change it..good luck
@slim116 (34)
• China
22 Mar 13
yeah,absolutely.we need friends.and if we meet some true friends,we don't want to lose them forever.we can share all our thoughts and feelings with them.in particular,a person in a strange city,there is a true friend is particularly important. but,sometimes we just can't stay with one friend forever and not separate.cause the work,family,or some other reasons.we have to separated with our friends.but don't worry,even if we separated,our hearts are still together,care of each other.cause we are the true friends.
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
22 Mar 13
I agree with you 100%. I lost mine last here. My mom was that person you describe here.