I Wouldn't Be Talking About It...I Would Be Gone!

Jacksonville, Florida
March 23, 2013 5:02pm CST
So, someone on another site asked people if they think it was suspicious for her husband to be talking to another woman saying she was hot and flirting with her. She found this convo on his facebook, it had her husband telling this girl that she is hot and he loves to flirt with her! It was a friend of theirs, or "supposed" to be. Um...if that message was on MY husband's facebook I would be gone quick! Instead of talking about it or wondering what to do she should be packing her bags in my opinion! Her husband probably knows she won't leave so he gets away with it... Sad.
6 people like this
22 responses
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
23 Mar 13
I too find it so remarkably sad that the husband feels the need to flirt with other women, seems that marriage vows aren't so sacred any more, what happened to the real marriage constitution? Why do people get married if they aren't going to stick by it? He obviously has no loyalty, cannot be trusted and has a roving eye, yep agree with you, sad thing is that a lot of wives feel that they cannot live without their husbands so will turn a blind eye and hope that he will change the error of his ways, WRONG. Once a flirt, always a flirt.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
23 Mar 13
The wonderful powers of karma coming to play, I do like it when it bites back on our behalf. What you reap you sow! My well of sympathy would have well and truly run dry too, so I hear ya!
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Mar 13
Yeah, it shocked me that she was seriously asking instead of packing! Lol. I mean, seriously? Why would you stay with someone who is flirting and possibly more with your supposed friend? I wouldn't. If I found something like that there would be NO talking about it. I would be moving. I would not care what I had to do, get a job no problem, be a single mother, no problem...I would do it all if I had to just to get away from a cheater! It is really sad that she will not do anything about it.
1 person likes this
@sunsham68 (1378)
• India
24 Mar 13
Wow. Juse leave? Maybe its and Indian thing, maybe its me, but we kinda think things will work out given time. Maybe we are too patient and lose life while we wait for change. I would not tolerate cheating as well as that lady did, but I would give him a chance to fix it - basically a second chance, no further.
@jenny1015 (13391)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
Ouch! Well, really, reactions from wives who know that their husbands might be/is fooling around varies. Maybe it is because of reasons that involves the children or the wife is still in the "denial" stage or just the wife thinks of giving another chance for the husband hoping that it would be the last time that he would fool around.
2 people like this
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
24 Mar 13
yep, she is giving him a chance alright. she is giving him the chance to bring another woman into their bed.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Mar 13
Well to me, she is being stupid for giving him another chance. She is asking to be cheated on! They don't have children so it has nothing to do with that. She obviously knows something is going on or she would not have asked for advice on what to do... @MoonGypsy~You are absolutely right!
@jenny1015 (13391)
• Philippines
24 Mar 13
Well, the woman might be too afraid to lose her husband. You know how some women could take all the stabs and still love the husband just the same. (Some martyr!)
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (95546)
• Marion, Kansas
23 Mar 13
You are right. You get dished out what you are willing to swallow. She allows him to get away with this behavior. I would not.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Mar 13
Yeah, I think she is putting up with way too much! It would not be me that is for sure. My husband knows if he cheats we are done...
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (116649)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Mar 13
Exactly! Give them a inch and they will take a mile. In a relationship you have to be sure your communicating and that your partner knows where you stand on issues like this. You have it right.
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Mar 13
Yup, the guy thinks he can do whatever because she lets him get away with it! My husband knows, he cheats and we are done...
2 people like this
@celticeagle (116649)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Mar 13
Good for you! And once a cheater always a cheater as far as I am concerned.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (116649)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Mar 13
I think you are doing half the work this evening, Hatley! Thirty three years with the same man. That must have been love. Smoking. Ugh!
• United States
23 Mar 13
I want to say 'a man is a man is a man' but I know all men are not dogs. He may be living a fantasy right now, but my estimation he is looking to cheat. I would make HIM be gone. Yes it is sad if she tolerates it. She teaches him how to treat her with her complacency.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Mar 13
Not all of them your right, but some. LOL. I wanna say it too! Haha. I'm just kidding-kind of. My husband knows if he cheats on me we are done. No excuses or exceptions. I don't care if I had to be a single mother and had to do it all alone. I would rather that than to be cheated on all the time!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164777)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Mar 13
also a woman who lets her man keep cheaing on her has lost all self respect?
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Mar 13
Either that or she had no self confidence and was very insecure when she finally found someone so she might not think she can get anyone else who will treat her right...
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
24 Mar 13
Sounds like spouses need to monitor their spouses Facebook use like their kids! Men don't think it would be a big thing and no problem! To me doing stuff like this over the interent,on the phone and other ways is cheating! It shows no respect of the spouse and is not trust worthy! People never learn!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Mar 13
He was hiding things from her and she didn't know why until she found that. Oh, this woman he was having this flirting affair with is the mother of a friend of their daughters. She lives in their town, it wasn't an online affair or anything. They were meeting up and hanging out... The woman was supposed to be the wife's friend too but obviously she is NO friend at all. She is guilty too since she knows both of them, knows their married and was supposed to be a friend!
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
24 Mar 13
i also would be gone. he wouldn't know what hit him. i would be gone so fast. this is probably not the first sign she got that he was a son of a b%$^&^
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Mar 13
Yup totally agree. He would not even see me I would be out that door so fast! My husband knows it too. Lol. That is one thing I will NOT put up with at all...
@allknowing (60260)
• India
24 Mar 13
It is easier said than done.How can one just pack up and go. Flirting is a way with most men even men who love their wives deeply. As long as there is nothing serious it is better to ignore or to intervene so that it ends there.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (60260)
• India
24 Mar 13
They must be having a strained relationship even otherwise with each other and that would more likely lead to packing up. That needs to be set right. A man will never flirt if a couple is head over heals in love.
@Raine38 (9032)
• United States
23 Mar 13
That's the sad thing about some marriages. The wife becomes too dependent on the husband so the husband can get away with murder. I always believe that even though we're already married and no matter how successful financially our husbands are, we should also have some ways and means to empower ourselves and have our own money. It is not only for ourselves when things like this happen, but also for our kids, if ever. If that's my husband, then he knows that he is in for some very nasty trouble. And that woman is also going to pay. If I can do things and take it up the legal way to make them pay, then I will do it. The message is very clear, there's nothing left to wonder or to explain.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
23 Mar 13
I guess most would say I am pretty dependent on my husband as well. I mean I do make money unlike some wives with my Childcare Business but I don't go out to work or drive. So I do depend on him for some things... BUT if I had to do it all on my own I could and I would! I would NOT sit around and be cheated on just because I was worried about doing things on my own. No, I would get my butt out of this house and get a job to take care of my kids. No matter what I had to do I would just to be treated the right way. My husband knows if he cheats, we are done. No excuses or exceptions...
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24991)
• Australia
28 Mar 13
But he's only flirting lmb. You do that here with Lamby and there's nothing in it.
• Jacksonville, Florida
28 Mar 13
No, I didn't explain it correctly I suppose. It was an offline affair going on. He just got caught through Facebook. He was cheating on the wife with a friend of both of them! He just got caught by his message...
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24991)
• Australia
28 Mar 13
Oh, I see.
• Italy
24 Mar 13
People clearly have diffrent point of wiew where the line goes. I guess he thought it is ok, cos they didnt DO anything. On the other hand, I dont think that guy would enjoy his wife flriting with other guys. Some people think it is only ok if they do it, for some weird reason. In short, he is an idiot. She should confront him, give him ONE chance to stop. If it continues,then bye bye.
• Italy
24 Mar 13
I should have read the comments before i wrote anything. Well, so he knew her offline. Forget about the one chance. She should leav, no point to continue.
• Jacksonville, Florida
28 Mar 13
Yeah this was an offline affair, he just got caught by a message online he wrote to her. Sorry, guess I didn't explain it correctly! Lol. Exactly, she should be leaving or kicking him out-something!
• United States
24 Mar 13
Or... she should start flirting with another guy. In any case it is clear he doesn't want her as much as he wants this new chick. So she should leave or better still kick him out!
• Jacksonville, Florida
26 Mar 13
Yeah to just put up with it is crazy to me. And she should be finding better friends since this other woman was supposed to be her friend too!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Mar 13
That is so true.
@kprofgames (3018)
• United States
24 Mar 13
Wow to do that with another woman is one thing....to do it on a social network for everyone to see is completely out of line. That she asked if it was 'suspicious' is saying she has no idea the blow she was dealt. To do it is one thing, to make a fool of your wife on social media like that is another.
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Mar 13
He wasn't flirting online, they knew each other in person offline. The wife just found the message on Facebook, they wrote things to each other like where they would meet up the next day, he said she was hot, and he loves flirting with her. The other woman was supposed to be a friend to the wife too! What kind of friend has an affair with someone's husband??
• United States
24 Mar 13
Oh I thought he was posting the 'your hot' and 'like flirting with you on his FB account. Wouldn't that be a treat for her family to read. Sad that the ones you think you can trust the most are the ones that let you down. A friend wouldn't do that to another. Any self respecting woman would leave a married man alone too!
@bunnybon7 (34929)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Mar 13
people are letting FB ruin their relationships. yes i guess its good to be able to check up on your partner, but sometimes its just people flirting and causing people trouble. anyway, if he really is seeing this woman, yes, she needs to do something about it. my daughter puts up with a lot of stuff like that also and he knows she wont leave. but they have fought over FB flirts and i think thats just silly as the person he was flirting with lives 3,000 miles away and she would know if they hooked up. its a lot of other things she should get rid of him for. plus they arent married and people should work harder on making their marriages work these days unless the other one is not making an effort. then get away!
• Jacksonville, Florida
28 Mar 13
Oh no, they were having an offline affair. He just got caught online! Lol. Guess I explained it wrong. This was a friend of the wife and the husband that the husband cheated with. He only got caught because he left evidence on facebook! IDIOT! So I think she should definitely leave. I would have been gone quick!
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
25 Mar 13
I am the kind of person that would be willing to give my husband a second chance. For that reason alone, I have to admit that if I was to find something like this, I wouldn't immediately be gone, but I would certainly tell him that something like that is not acceptable in my books and if I were to ever find out that something like this was happening again, then I would be gone. Of course I also know that I would never find myself in that situation because of the fact that I don't get on my husband's facebook account and my husband doesn't get on my facebook account.
• Jacksonville, Florida
28 Mar 13
Oh, for me cheating is definitely a deal breaker. My husband does know that though. I told him right from the beginning the two things that would end this marriage is cheating or abuse... The trust would be gone after cheating and without trust there is no relationship. This would not happen to me either because my husband always tells me if I feel the need to cheat on you I will tell you I want a divorce, I will leave you before I cheat on you. Works for me! Lol, that's better than going behind my back and cheating...
• United States
24 Mar 13
Good topic for people to weigh in on, Lovingmy babies. Anyone who does that to another person should be left immediately. No questions asked. Just go. If you decide to stay with a person that does this to you and you proceed to do nothing, they will just keep doing it and your self-esteem will diminish. Why would someone think that anybody that behaves that way is worth it? Pack up and don't look back!!!!!
• Jacksonville, Florida
28 Mar 13
I agree with you, cheating is not okay. Especially when it is with another woman that is supposed to be the woman's friend! So wrong. She should be packing but I don't know what she will actually do...
@ShyBear88 (17038)
• United States
24 Mar 13
Like you I would be taking my kids and be out the door or throwing his stuff out of the house. I wouldn't be sticking around at all.
• Jacksonville, Florida
26 Mar 13
Exactly! The fact that she even had to ask worried me a little bit to be honest... For her...
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
24 Mar 13
It is sad to hear those types of things. Hopefully she can make a good decision regarding her marriage and be able to take care of herself. It's sad that these types of things happen.
• Jacksonville, Florida
26 Mar 13
It is sad. Now she knows the truth though and it is up to her to do what she needs to do with the information. I hope for her sake that she does the right thing so this doesn't happen to her again...
• United States
24 Mar 13
And what sort of answer was she looking for? "No, it's perfectly harmless for your hubby to flirt with your friend" or, maybe, "He was just helping her self-esteem"? She needs to be confronting her husband with the situation--not looking for reasons to excuse his behavior.
• Jacksonville, Florida
26 Mar 13
I guess that is what she wanted to hear but that is not what I told her at all! I told her the truth. The guy is hiding things from you, meeting this girl at different places, flirting with her, etc... What do you think is happening? I couldn't help it. She must have been in denial or something...
@Hatley (164777)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Mar 13
hi LovingMyBabies I would also pack up and leave cause once a cheater always a cheater. I would not want to stay with a man who thought so little of me that he would cheat on me as I have more self respect than that.I feel sorry for her that she will just take it thats just plain stupid .
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Mar 13
Yeah, there is no way I would stay to be cheated on all the time... And this woman was supposed to be a friend to them both. Sad.