Big Problem!!

Jacksonville, Florida
March 29, 2013 12:41pm CST
My husband was just offered a job with good pay, his own vehicle and basically being the boss on the job sites... Did I mention it's really good pay??? Okay, here is where the problem comes in. My husband would be taking my aunt's boyfriend's job. We don't get along with them or anything but still my husband feels bad taking his job away. Plus, my parents want them to get out and get their own place so this would make it harder for them to do that... But did I mention it's REALLY good pay? Ugh, Lol. Such a problem... My husband doesn't want to put Ray out of work but at the same time this would better our family too! Suggestions anyone???
13 people like this
53 responses
@TLilly12 (1230)
• United States
29 Mar 13
All I have to say to you is Congratulations!!! to you, and your husband you have to look out for yourself, and forget about the other guy, if company want to replace Ray well they have their reasons, for doing that, it's more money in your pocket,if Ray is out of work, there is nothing, you can do about that, I am happy for you.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Mar 13
Thank you! I don't know if my husband is going to take it yet... But hopefully things will work out the way they are supposed to. That is a good point, they are replacing him either way. My husband just didn't want to be the one to put him out like that...
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (98101)
• United States
30 Mar 13
Remember the life lesson you have learned several times recently: You will stop trying to help people at the expense of your own well being. He should take the job and enjoy being recognized for doing such a good job. They are going to replace Ray whether your husband takes the job itself.
1 person likes this
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
29 Mar 13
Sorry and also glad to hear that. I think your husband needs to think about you guys rather than our aunts. Good luck with which ever way he chooses there. have a super weekend there.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Mar 13
Thanks. It is a tough situation but that boss is planning on firing Ray either way so I guess my husband should consider it... I am going to talk with him more about it once he gets home tonight. =) Thanks for your opinion on this!
1 person likes this
• Mexico
29 Mar 13
Very true, so your man needs to proudly take it. Way to go. Happy for the both of you...
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Mar 13
Wow! That is really a tricky one. Maybe you can talk to your Aunt's boyfriend and ask if he's okay that your husband will take the job offer. And yes, if you mom wants them to get out then it will be a problem for them to find a place if he will lose the job. Hmmm well.. Just like some will say, you gotta do what is good for you :) Good Luck!
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Mar 13
It is a tough one indeed. My husband is planning on talking to Ray to let him know that the boss is planning on hiring someone else. Whether that is my husband or someone else. Thanks for your opinion on this! =)
2 people like this
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
29 Mar 13
Is your husband taking this job? Or is this job being offered to him? If it's offered it means they find him a better person to do the job. Sorry for your aunt's boyfriend but if he were doing the job in a great way nobody would think about replacing him. This besides of the fact that if your husband will refuse they will look for someone else for sure.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Mar 13
The guy offered my husband the position. The boss told my husband he wants to get rid of Ray because Ray doesn't have a drivers license which makes it hard to have him there. Thank you for your opinion on this. I needed it and so did my husband. =)
3 people like this
@emily7339 (1340)
• Malaysia
30 Mar 13
I hope Ray will not have hard feelings with your husband. Anyway, it is not the fault of your husband as it is his boss offering him the job. Even if he does not take the offer, I guess his boss will still find another suitable person to take up the job.
2 people like this
@allknowing (63306)
• India
30 Mar 13
"Charity begins at home". Best wishes to your husband in his new job!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
He decided after reading this discussion that he will take the position. Now he is just waiting to find out when he can start.
@allknowing (63306)
• India
30 Mar 13
In any case if you husband rejected the job Ray would not be reinstated. Would he?
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
Ray would be losing his job either way... =(
@GardenGerty (98101)
• United States
30 Mar 13
My thoughts on this are running two different directions. First thought: the company is dissatisfied with Ray and he is going to be out of a job one way or another. Your husband may as well benefit from it if it is offered to him. (you could give Ray a heads up, if you want to be nice). Second thought: If this company is doing this to Ray, what is to keep them from doing it to your husband at some point if they see someone they like better? Does your husband want to give up what he has now for a company that might undercut him later. Of course I would go with the first thought and take the job, relying on the fact that your husband is a good worker and the type of employee they will want to keep.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 13
Hi GG, The reason they're getting rid of Ray is because he does not have a license to drive the truck....it was suspended which is Ray's fault. That is why LMB's husband was offered the job, so I don't feel they're undercutting him or that it's only because they like her husband better than Ray.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (98101)
• United States
31 Mar 13
I guess that is why I would go with the first thought, since we know that it is Ray's own fault he is being let go. He will have no reason to be mad, but he may choose to anyway, though, from what she has said about her family.
@wolfie34 (26816)
• United Kingdom
29 Mar 13
What if the shoe was on the other foot my friend? You know Ray, if the situation was reversed, say it was Ray who was taking your husband's job, would he take it? would he be obviously worried about your husband and his family? Does he have a conscious, would he turn down the job, because of who he would be putting out the job. Only you can answer that of course, but hopefully it will make things a little more clearer. At the end of the day, you have a family to look after, Ray doesn't pay your rent, feed you or your kids, your husband does.
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Mar 13
Your absolutely right, when I told my husband what you wrote here he said he's right, Ray would take the job without thinking twice about it! Ray does what benefits him. He doesn't care how it will affect anyone else. I appreciate your opinion and so does my husband. =)
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26816)
• United Kingdom
29 Mar 13
Your most welcome dear friend, and I hope this makes your husband's decision 100% easier now!
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27605)
• United States
5 Apr 13
Well, look at some things here. First off I am assuming your aunts boyfriend is older then your husband. Second I assume that the job feels that your husband can do the job better then the other guy. Thats why they offered him the job in the first place. Now, looking at all that, I feel that your husband should take the job. But on the other side of the coin, what if this job will do the same to your husband. Meaning offer someone else the job and get rid of your husband. You have to look at all angles before making a choice. It sounds great for you and your husband. If it is legit and a real good job, then your husband should not feel bad and take the job. You guys are young and need this financial push. Those are my opinions and feelings.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (98101)
• United States
5 Apr 13
So, what was the outcome. I know the monsters moved out of your parent's house. . . did your husband take the job?
@alpha9180 (301)
• Malaysia
30 Mar 13
Both you and your husband are thinking and concern for Ray is because you care for him. However, to get rid of Ray is the boss decision. If the boss is kind enough he will arrange another position for him. If otherwise, the boss will still get rid of Ray and replace him with someone else if your husband does not take up the job. Opportunity comes and go, so grab it if it is yours...
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
Yeah, Ray is being replaced because he does not have a drivers license, so he cannot get to the job sites to check on things. That is why my husband was offered the position. Ray is losing his job completely. My husband tried to call Ray to talk with him about it but he won't call him back, we are guessing he is already mad...
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
29 Mar 13
My guess is that if he offered your husband the job, Ray is on his way out regardless. I would jump at it if your husband would like it, because if he does not it sounds like someone else will get it. Do what is best for your family.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Mar 13
Yeah I know and I am trying to explain that to my husband too. I know it and I think he knows it too, he is just worried about hurting anyone else...
@dagami (1163)
• Rome, Italy
29 Mar 13
this is great news for you and your family. i think your husband should grab this chance because high paying jobs are hard to get by nowadays. i think your aunt's boyfriend wasn't doing his job well otherwise his boss wouldn't have looked for someone else so you shouldn't worry about this. it was offered to him, right? it wasn't as if he went there to apply for the job promising to perform better than your aunt's bf.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Mar 13
Thank you. It was complete coincidence, my husband met the guy at a gas station. He didn't go to the job or anything. They started talking and he offered my husband the job. Then, at the end he mentioned that he had to fire a guy named Ray so my husband could start. My husband knew who it was as soon as he mentioned Ray. The more the boss talked about Ray the more my husband knew he was talking about my aunts boyfriend... I am going to talk to my husband about it more when he gets home.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Mar 13
If your husband doesn't accept the job offer, someone else will. He isn't "taking" your aunt's boyfriend's job. That guy is going to be out the door regardless of what your husband decides to do. The boss doesn't want to keep him; that isn't going to change. Your husband should accept the job, and you should make a point of saving back a decent portion of the increased pay.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Mar 13
I know and that is what I have been telling my husband too. Either way Ray will be losing the job, to my husband or to someone else. If Ray had a drivers license, he would still have this job but he doesn't.
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
30 Mar 13
Um... I'm missing the problem again? Husband = good job. Some other person = lose job. Where's the problem? Think of it another way. If the company is offering this job to your husband, then clearly they are not happy with the person there. If they are not happy with the person there, then that means they'll simply offer it to someone else, if your husband declines it. A person who is genuinely excellent at their job, and puts in maximum effort, will normally not lose that job to someone else. Unless there is nepotism. Is your husband getting this job because he has family at the company, who are willing to hire him even though the other guy is better at the job? I might not go for it then. Your husband will never get over the stigma of being part of the good'ol boys network. But if the company just isn't happy with this other guys performance, and they are happy with your husband's performance... um.... Just do it, and be happy. All blessings come from G-d. Just be thankful, and do your best.
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
Lol, my husband just felt bad taking his job from him. Not really taking it but you know, replacing him. But Ray was going to be fired either way and my husband met the guy at a gas station, not realizing at first it was Rays boss. My husband just asked if he was hiring since it was a Roofing company, which is what my husband does. The guy said yeah he is looking to replace Ray because the guy doesn't have a driver's license and cannot get to the job sites. My husband doesn't know anyone in the company, except Ray. Not family related at all. My husband would not work with family, everyone knows that rarely ever works out... Ray is a hard worker but there are transportation issues there. Which is why they want my husband to work for them, since he has a license. My husband and I do believe this came from God, my husband was praying for another job just before he met that guy... We think it was an answered prayer. =)
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
30 Mar 13
Why doesn't ray have a drivers license?
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
It got suspended for tickets.
@BarBaraPrz (19597)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
29 Mar 13
YIKES! Why is Ray being replaced? That needs to be addressed before making a decision either way. If he's being replaced because he's incompetent, he'll be replaced in any event, whether by your hubby or someone else.
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
Ray is being replaced because he does not have a driver's license. It was suspended. So he cannot get to and from job sites.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (19597)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
30 Mar 13
If he lost his license, then losing his job is of his own making. As I said before, he'll be replaced by someone anyway, may as well be your hubby.
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
Your right, and I think my husband finally realized that too. He is going to take the position. He's waiting for the boss to call him to find out when he starts...
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
30 Mar 13
I think your husband is worrying too much. As you said, Ray is going to lose his job anyway. It may as well be to your husband. From all I have read about these people, they are just plain inconsiderate and they don't seem to think about your family and they don't seem to have strong intent on leaving either.Your husband is absolutley not putting Ray out of work. Ray is putting himself out because he is not qualified for the job by the sounds of it.
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
Yeah, Ray is being replaced because he does not have a drivers license, so he cannot get to the job sites to check on things. That is why my husband was offered the position. And if things were reversed Ray would take the job without thinking twice about it, we already know that... My husband tried to call Ray to talk with him about it but he won't call him back, we are guessing he is already mad...
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
30 Mar 13
Let him be mad. He'd have lost the job anyway. It is not your husband's fault that Ray does not have a driver's license and can't do the job. Why did Ray even apply for this position? Why didn't the company ask him before hiring him if he had a license.
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
30 Mar 13
Your husband should accept that job. He have more skills than Ray and the employer will reward this skill with increased salary. If Ray wants to keep his job are even get a new, better one then he should develop some skills which will fulfill the needs of changing market.
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
Yeah, Ray is being replaced because he does not have a drivers license, so he cannot get to the job sites to check on things. That is why my husband was offered the position. Ray is losing his job completely. My husband tried to call Ray to talk with him about it but he won't call him back, we are guessing he is already mad...
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
30 Mar 13
Well, it is clear that Ray doesn't fit the profile for employer and that he will be fired. So if your husband doesn't accept that job - someone else will accept it.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
29 Mar 13
In todays world you cant worry about others, or else you wont get ahead. If he was doing his job right they wouldn't want to replace him. Your parents can still kick them out whether of their financial status. Why did they move in, in the first place?.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
30 Mar 13
I forgot to ask do they legally rent with them or just live with them (for free)?. Legally if they pay rent to whole procedure of notice 30 days, but if they don't any day.
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
My husband realizes that now because as wolfie said on the first page, if Ray was offered the position he would take it. So why are we looking out for him?? My husband is going to take the job, he is waiting for the boss to tell him when he can start... They pay $100 per week to stay there. That is all I know about that situation.
@ayeeesha (1134)
• Philippines
29 Mar 13
Opportunities like that should be taken. I think it's better if your husband should talk to the boyfriend and tell him about the situation. It's actually the management's prerogative and definitely NOT your husband's fault why the boyfriend will be replaced. At least in that way, your aunt and boyfriend won't think you're going up against them.
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
The job world is tough, like the boss told my husband it's nothing personal, its business. Yeah he is going to take it. =) Hopefully everything works out with it and the boss does what he said he will. Ray is being replaced because he does not have a drivers license, so he cannot get to the job sites to check on things. That is why my husband was offered the position. My husband is waiting for the boss to call him back to find out when he starts. =) My husband tried to call Ray to talk with him about it but he won't call him back, we are guessing he is already mad...
@ayeeesha (1134)
• Philippines
2 Apr 13
To begin with, it's not really your husband's fault why Ray lost his job. And he shouldn't be mad about it. If Ray was able to get a driver's license, he wouldn't have a problem.
@celticeagle (117655)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Mar 13
The job world is not always something that keeps friendships going and doesn't always make people happy. I would wonder why your husband was offered a job that this person had. Why are they looking to let this other person go? I would take the job. It's not like you guys were getting along anyway. A job is a job and if this other guy isn't do a good job at this job and your husband thinks he'd enjoy it he should take it.
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Mar 13
The job world is tough, like the boss told my husband it's nothing personal, its business. Yeah he is going to take it. =) Hopefully everything works out with it and the boss does what he said he will. Ray is being replaced because he does not have a drivers license, so he cannot get to the job sites to check on things. That is why my husband was offered the position. My husband is waiting for the boss to call him back to find out when he starts. =)
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117655)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Mar 13
That is good that he is going to take the job. And the other guy not having a driver's license can be the reasoning behind your husband taking it. Hope he likes the job and that all goes well with it.