Why do some guys behave like this?
By Aja103654
@Aja103654 (5646)
Philippines
March 29, 2013 11:49pm CST
There is this guy on facebook that keeps on chatting with me. I am okay with being friends but he is already becoming annoying. I am not close to him at all and I do not know him at all. I blame myself for not being careful enough who I add as friends on facebook.
Anyway, there is also this guy I met while getting some important requirements for work. He wanted to be friends with me and i saw no harm to being friends with him. I didn't expect he'd ask me on a date later on even after I clearly said I have a boyfriend and after he told me he has one child from a woman who he did not marry but he is supporting the child. he said he is looking for women and I think that was a clue that he is interested in me more than just as friends.
It annoyed me because he didn't stop asking me out even after I told him that we will never be more than friends. I told him I have a boyfriend already so i don't want to date any one else.
He even said we were friends and there's no harm in dating. I told him he should respect my decision to want to remain just friends and nothing more.
Why are guys like them so persistent? Do you have similar experiences girls?
As for guys, have you ever done something like this to someone else without knowing that it is making the girl uncomfortable?
2 people like this
21 responses
@yugocean (9965)
• India
31 Mar 13
You cannot stop such people anywhere, there are scammers and hidden foes who are after girls everywhere to lure them by making them fall in love or in emotions. That guy tried to make you fall in love but he did not succeed, so he tried to lure you through emotions. Many girls are lost in the world this way, so be cautious, never add strangers in your real account, make a fake account for completing the tasks, and you can use only this account for adding those people as friend, this way you will not get such annoying problem.
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
Ha! Make women fall in love with them and then what? They hurt their feelings? Well, I'm not as naive as I look. People tend to assume I am because I look innocent, my parents assume it's because of my big eyes haha! 
It's a good thing that I have friends(online and offline) and a boyfriend who helps me more aware of certain things. Ha! I'm not sure what that guy wanted, but whatever he is planning, he can't manipulate me. I can understand a jerk and a real friend. And that guy was no friend because he doesn't respect my decision to remain friends and remain being annoying. Some guys just don't know how to treat a woman right, no wonder they are so desperate. 
It's a good thing that I have friends(online and offline) and a boyfriend who helps me more aware of certain things. Ha! I'm not sure what that guy wanted, but whatever he is planning, he can't manipulate me. I can understand a jerk and a real friend. And that guy was no friend because he doesn't respect my decision to remain friends and remain being annoying. Some guys just don't know how to treat a woman right, no wonder they are so desperate. @Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
LOL, sorry for my little rant up there yugo. Thank you for your thoughtful response! And, yes, I'll be more careful from now on. 
I didn't think that guy would act like that towards me. I just saw him as a new connection who can help me someday and I am also willing to help him someday. That kind of attitude, by being open, is natural for someone who is looking for work and opportunities, isn't it? I guess being open to opportunities also means getting bad opportunities too. Gotta be extra careful. 
I didn't think that guy would act like that towards me. I just saw him as a new connection who can help me someday and I am also willing to help him someday. That kind of attitude, by being open, is natural for someone who is looking for work and opportunities, isn't it? I guess being open to opportunities also means getting bad opportunities too. Gotta be extra careful. 
@allknowing (130067)
• India
30 Mar 13
Has Face Book removed the 'unfriend' tab. I thought it was there. May be it is not there in your account!
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
30 Mar 13
True haha. That would only take seconds and your agony is gone. Maybe a block button too, that will seal the deal for good
@allknowing (130067)
• India
30 Mar 13
@Nurse - I wonder what she is waiting for. She sure has better things to do than waste her time on issues such as this!
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
I do not know how to block and unfriend someone on facebook. I simply ignore the guy if he chats with me. And since I don't log in on facebook much, I see no need. Unless he pops up again and bothers me.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
2 Apr 13
Hi Aja!
I am bit confused to read your post. I am not sure if there is one guy who is disturbing you (in other words stalking you) or are these two different guys?
You stated in the first line - [i]".....this guy on facebook that keeps on chatting with me."
[/i]
Thereafter you stated - "...Anyway, there is also this guy I met while getting some important requirements for work."
As regards FB friend, some learned and wise mylotters have already advised you that you could 'un-friend' them as there is always an option on FB. In future, to be on safer side, you could screen the person who has sent you a request for add, whether he is worth adding or do you have some 'mutual friends' between you and the new guy.
Second case, where the guy was insisting you was dating is really troublesome. When you simply told him that you are not interested in dating, he should have stopped there and then itself. But if he is persisting, you could also tell him that he is not worth becoming your friend even because he is causing problems for you.
In view if a person is not responding or is not interested in me, then I should draw a line and should stop moving towards her.
All the best.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
3 Apr 13
So my guess was right that there were two different guys who were bothering you.
Whenever you visit your FB page, you could 'un-friend' the undesirable gay without a second thought and without a hitch.
It is really weird 
that a guy met you and within 24 hours he asked you to go for a date without knowing much about you.
These experiences would have taught you a lesson and therefore, you need to be very cautious and careful while accepting a friend request from an unknown person on FB (in future).
Also, do not entertain such guys who ask for date without your consent and don't even commit with them that you just want to be their/his friend(s). These kind of guys are not worth calling friends.
that a guy met you and within 24 hours he asked you to go for a date without knowing much about you.
These experiences would have taught you a lesson and therefore, you need to be very cautious and careful while accepting a friend request from an unknown person on FB (in future).
Also, do not entertain such guys who ask for date without your consent and don't even commit with them that you just want to be their/his friend(s). These kind of guys are not worth calling friends.@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
4 Apr 13
Haha, thank you deepak.
Yes. I have to be more careful. I admit my guard was down now than usual, because I was trying to be an open person, so that maybe I will have more friends and will have more opportunities. Little did I know, that while doing so, it can make me prone to guys like these. It's a good thing that guy has not messaged me anymore. he must have already understood.
That's what I thought. I was suspicious of him, but I couldn't deny that he will be able to help me, so I agreed being friends, it's not a bad thing. but when he became pushy for a date and using the 'friends' just so I will agree to go on a date with him, he must have thought I was that stupid. Well, I'm not and I know better than to go out with a person who uses such tactics to make me go out with him. not worth my time.
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
3 Apr 13
They are two different guys.
The guy on facebook is someone who I think works abroad in Dubai and has a family of his own. But he seems to be a flirt. Now I don't want to involve myself with men who could possibly be cheating on their wives.
the other one is a fellow who I just met and asked me on a date within 24 hours of meeting him. It's freaky, ain't it?
Thank everyone for that advise. I have not visited my facebook yet so I didn't have the chance to unfriend that person and actually I forgot his name already. haha.
Yeah. I told him that if we really are friends, he'd respect my decision. But it seems as if he forgot about that message and keep on bugging me anyway. Now I no longer respond to his message.
Thank you deepak. It really is bothersome when people behave that way towards us especially when we are not interested and we are committed to our partners already.
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
Not every guy is like this, thankfully and I am aware of that.
I did stop communicating with them. If they do it again, I will have to unfriend them because they are making me uncomfortable. I don't want trouble that is all.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
30 Mar 13
Try living as a nice girl of a day and you will realize that there aren't any nice guys around
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
30 Mar 13
Oh cool! You're cool.wow. :) congratulations. Lol. I am so envious. 
Good job. :)
You may find that annoying, but there are some people who would wish they had what you have. :)
Good job. :)
You may find that annoying, but there are some people who would wish they had what you have. :)@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
W-what??
Frai, there is no reason to envy a person with stalkers. it can be quite frightening and disturbing since we barely know the guy and he's much too eager, it's freaky!
Being appreciated is good, but there is a difference between admiring someone and being friendly to them and being too friendly that one would search and ask them on a date on the first day they met. Isn't that freaky?
Frai, there is no reason to envy a person with stalkers. it can be quite frightening and disturbing since we barely know the guy and he's much too eager, it's freaky!
Being appreciated is good, but there is a difference between admiring someone and being friendly to them and being too friendly that one would search and ask them on a date on the first day they met. Isn't that freaky?@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
30 Mar 13
Maybe it's because i am a stalker myself. Haha
People can get desperate, i to be honest dont really like dating it makes me uncomfortable and everything. It just proves that this a lonely world. Full of lonely single people. (I think i just omitted inside my mouth just typing that up)
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
3 Apr 13
That sounds very darned uncomfortable. These guys are being really obnoxious and sound like they have some serious issues.
I would ignore the one on Facebook, block him if you can.
The other one I would report the other guy to your boss or his boss if you can. You don't need that harassment and you don't have to put up with it.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
4 Apr 13
You are right about that.
The other one is not a colleague, but just happened to be in the same line as I. We were going to take our nbi clearance and such. He might not have touched me, but yes, it's kind of harassment if he's asked me to go out with him within 24 hours without me really wanting to.
The other one is not a colleague, but just happened to be in the same line as I. We were going to take our nbi clearance and such. He might not have touched me, but yes, it's kind of harassment if he's asked me to go out with him within 24 hours without me really wanting to.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
10 Apr 13
LOL! Maybe there is no point in trying to understand people with no common sense?
1 person likes this
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
No, I would not do such a thing. If the girls says that she already had a boyfriend and still I want to be a friend of her, it should mean that she wants only my friendship not more than that. And I would not do anything that might annoy her or feel uncomfortable when she's with me.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
That's great stan. I wish those guys think like you.
It's not sexy for a guy to be so pushy and disrespectful to begin with. And they expect to get some girls like that? Maybe it will work on some, but I don't think it will last.
@grvdubey11 (1879)
• India
31 Mar 13
Asking someone out on Facebook is weird.In virtual world of internet people cross the line as they don't have to tell anything on the face to the person they are chatting with,hence they get the confidence that they can ask anything and get away with it just like that.So its better to add only those people to Facebook whom you know in real world, because it happens that most of the anonymous guys added through social networking sites will turn out to be annoying.Its a common problem these days,also many of these guys think that if someone some girl does not know you in real world, still she adds you on Facebook then she can be easily manipulated.That is what girls i am friends with tell me many times.So it would be better that you go into your privacy setting and block those guys,even if you don't want to block them you can customize your setting and that will make sure they wont be able to see your updates or chat with you,best wishes.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
yeah, I hate it when people mess around with other people on facebook just to enjoy themselves.
haha, that is so right. I do add only those people who are my distant relatives, there was one cousin who was trying to make a move on me by sending me a message on facebook. really annoying. Even that guy, when I checked his photo, he already had a girlfriend. what a jerk.
Thankfully, I am not active on facebook, so there is less opportunity for them to annoy me. And when they do start to annoy me, I just ignore them. it's hard to find good men these days, and these jerks and creepy men somehow manage to pop up anywhere!
@moneylots87 (521)
• Indonesia
30 Mar 13
Oh my, I think they are a freaks!
And as for me, i will never ever do that kind of thing to a girl, i mean if we keep trying to asking someone out, even already get rejected, isn't that will annoy a person we asking for going out? So why would some people do that? Are they really like to annoy people or what? I think those kind of people are freaks.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
They are! They are scary. Persistent in a bad way. They don't know how to respect someone. Maybe they thought a girl who rejects them is actually interested deep down and only want to test them to see how much they want them.
Even when girls make it clear, some guys just won't stop.
Those kind of people are desperate.
Those kind of people are desperate.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
30 Mar 13
Some guys just won't take no, and think they deserve anyone they set their sight on, and they even deserve you when you have a boyfriend. I also hate these "nice guys" who get friends with you just to get in your pants, and after you tell them no, they are like, they deserve it, because they've been so good friends and talk to you, blackmailing you to maybe say yes... a guy who just befriends me with hidden intentions is not nice at all...
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
That's a twisted way of thinking. A good guy would be someone who wouldn't ruin a happy relationship and steal someone's girl friend.
Yeah, they even use the guilt card and the we're friend's, right card. Dang, I was so annoyed by his shallow thinking. No way are they gonna get in my pants.
That's why I didn't want to be friends with him anymore. A good friend would respect one's decisions and space. Not blackmail them into making a girl they want say yes out of guilt. What a stupid and shallow way of thinking. Turns me off completely.
@meowchie (992)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
Tell that guy, one word is enough for a wise man.
He's not funny anymore but annoying already. The way I feel it from your post.
And I think he's too arrogant to pursue even when in the first place you told him it would not be possible beyond friendship.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
Yeah. Shouldn't that be enough for a guy to back down?
He stopped texting me for awhile after I said that but he texted me again the next day and asked me where I am and when we will be seeing each other again. This time, I really don't want to bother myself with him anymore, because he has fallen gone from an overly friendly person to a stalker.
Wouldn't it be better for him to search for another woman instead?
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
30 Mar 13
when guys get persistent like that it really gets old annoying really fast.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
Maybe some guys are annoyed by me for complaining about it. But they should understand too what it feels like when people seem too friendly it becomes annoying and uncomfortable.
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
Some men consider the girls' feelings while some don't. Some only think about their goal in pursuing the girl. I encountered someone who was so persistent even though I also told him I had a boyfriend that time and he has no chance. I also don't like his haughtiness. He was insulting my intelligence by hoping I would ever give him a chance when he has a girlfriend. Stupid.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
That is so true. Some guys who pursue tend to forget to consider the girl's feelings, they are too caught up in getting her. It's counter-productive.
It's a wonder why no matter how old a guy is, he can still be so inexperienced and insensitive to a woman's feelings and needs.
Stupid he is. I'm glad you got rid of that guy. When they are rejected they just can't accept it, they put the blame on the girl instead. Proves how good a person and a possible boyfriend he is, eh?
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
Some guys would just not give up when they have found someone that interests them. And he must be thinking that you might just consider knowing him better and see if you would still stick with your boyfriend.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
30 Mar 13
He could have gone for another woman. I am clearly not interested, I made that clear... have I not? maybe he is testing me? I get annoyed by people who do that even when they barely know me.
I am okay with knowing him, but he has overstepped his boundaries that instead of being casual friendly, he becomes too friendly like a stalker. He asks me where I am and when we would meet next. It's not natural for someone to ask like that especially since we have not known each other long. Like we met only the day before.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
30 Mar 13
they are like that and always aimed in harming people and i would say that is the natural and more common mindset of people for sure and we cant control them
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
Common mindset?
LOL, as if we all don't have many other things to worry about.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
30 Mar 13
Plenty of experiences like that not only on the internet but also in real life. What you should know/be aware of is that internet is not real. So if you do not like to chat with someone: IGNORE!
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
The fact also is that they are often men who already have wives and children. Or children only but not married to the woman they impregnated. Are they looking for a way to cheat and have fun with other women or something? That's just rotten.
I don't believe a man who has good intentions would make a woman uncomfortable like that. They should know how to respect a woman's space and decision.
Thank you wakeupkitty. I did ignore them whenever they pop up. Good thing I don't get to meet them in person.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
Haha! it's kind enough to give them a warning. But instead of understanding, they see it as a hint that they still have a chance. Why can't some guys respect girls who are already in a relationship and a long-term relationship at that? They could always go for single girls.
