taking vacations with in-laws

Philippines
March 31, 2013 1:37am CST
I love having vacations and I do not mind having it with other relatives. But there is always a time that I want to have it with my own family only. It irritates me a lot when my husband always invites his mom, his brother and sister together with their family to join us in a supposedly exclusive family vacation. It has always been like this. Though i also enjoy having them, I also wish that at least sometime we can make it exclusive only for us. Sometimes we just found out that they had an out of town trip without even inviting us whether we wanted to come with them or not. One thing that irritates me is the wife of my brother-in-law who always have her attitude of making all of us feel sucks! She is too annoying and demanding... Am i becoming too selfish here? Do you feel the same way I do? I do not know. The last vacation we had, I did not enjoy it at all...not anymore!
1 person likes this
9 responses
@MoonGypsy (4615)
• United States
31 Mar 13
i love my in laws, but don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for everything. i don't blame you for wanting to just vacation with your family. it would make me angry if we had to do everything with them all time.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
I do love them too. They are good people and I don't have any problems with them but of course I also want to have some quality time with my family alone.
@Pegasus72 (1904)
8 Apr 13
Maybe that is what you should do plan a trip just for your family and go and enjoy yourselves.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
31 Mar 13
I think you just have to be comfortable even though they are there, because its your too vacation duh.. do whatever you want.. let them do their own thing. try to enjoy yourself even though they are there. if your your brother in laws wife is that annoying well make sure you annoy her first before she did! just kidding, I mean just never mind them, and if they say something negative because you look rude, then just don't care too . I'm not saying that you have to be like them, but hey they ruin the vacation that you and your hubby planned long time ago just because of them.
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
That's what i exactly did. that is one good thing in me, I can put up a good face though I am already irritated. Anyway, I do not want to ruin that vacation.
• South Korea
31 Mar 13
Yeah thats a good choice.. It doesnt mean that your being fake..its just that sometimes those kinds of people leave you with no choice
@Raine38 (8908)
• United States
1 Apr 13
I think what you're feeling is pretty normal. We love our in laws, but there are times that we just want to enjoy being with our own family only. It is more relaxing and less stressful, plus you can actually really have fun and let loose without them around. I don't know but the in laws sort of have this unspoken message that one must be on their best behavior because even though they're still family, they are not family-family. You get what I mean.
• Philippines
1 Apr 13
So true. Though there is really no rule like behaving pretty well in front of them like some sort of faking it, it comes naturally that you have to keep in mind that you should not show any cause of negative vibes while they are around. Thanks for your response, at least i know I am normal...hahahaha
• India
3 Apr 13
My father in law is no more, my mother in law lives alone, her sons don't live with her, my wife is her only daughter, so when ever we go on vacation pilgrimage etc, we take her with us. Thanks for sharing.
@Paper_Doll (2376)
• Philippines
1 Apr 13
I think that since you want to spend a vacation with your family alone, your husband would want a vacation with his family as well. Maybe that is why he invited his family to go with you and your family so you two can both have a vacation with your and his family. Well, that could be the reason if I wanted to make things uncomplicated Actually, your family and his, can be considered as ONE FAMILY. But of course, they say we can't choose our families. It is also the same with we can't choose who the parents or relatives of our husband's are. They can be really irritating sometimes especially if they come uninvited and are invading our privacies so I understand how you feel. I live with my inlaws so I know the feeling. I am always thankful every time there would be an upcoming long weekends or vacations because I can ask my husband to just spend those days with my biological family. Whenever I arrive at my parents home, I am very happy and relaxed. I can do or say whatever what I like. I am very confortable unlike when I am with my inlaws' house. I do not know if it is right but I have learned to just be true to myself. If they are going somewhere and they invited us, I would let my husband come but I will just be staying at home. I just say that I do not want to go or I don't like where they are going. I think it is the other way of saying, I do not want to be with them. I know that some kind of rude but I do not want to torture myself anymore. You know how hard it is to be around people that you don't like. Well of course like you there are reasons why I feel this way. There are actually so many to mention. From hearing them referred you as other people from not paying a huge amount of money they borrowed from you years back. In fact, if someone would ask me if my mother in law treated me as her real daughter, I could answer in a straight NO. It also hurt me so much whenever I see how my mom care for my husband whenever we are at their home. Every now and then, he would always asked my husband if he needs something. If he wants coffee, my mom would even asked if there's a specific flavor that he likes. She would be the one to serve the coffee to my husband and would asked again if he needs other things. Seeing how my mom treats my husband, it really breaks my heart hearing and seeing how my inlaws treat me. But my mom would just say to ignore it. She said sooner or later, we will become at ease with each other and will learn to love each other. But as of now, that is far from reality. Maybe you can talk to your husband and tell him straight how you feel about it. Tell him you wanted to spend this vacation with your biological family alone. But of course, you should be open if your husband would ask the same request from you.
@Rainegurl (2158)
• Philippines
1 Apr 13
They are okay but I prefer to only have my family with me. I have tried it already and there were some 'irritating' episodes. Everything was fine in the end but it would rather avoid having them again in the future. I do not think I am being selfish, and I don't think you are being selfish too.
@SIMPLYD (73105)
• Philippines
1 Apr 13
I also feel that way too sometimes. Although, i am just lucky that my sister-in-law is kind and i am in good terms with her. Sometimes, it is good to bond with in-laws but we really also need a time solely with our own family.
@doroffee (4233)
• Hungary
31 Mar 13
I would not like to have a vacation with my future mother-in-law. I mean, I like her... we're not likely to be best friends ever... but I'd like to have vacations with my boyfriend only now. I really wanna have a private, intimate trip with him. Fortunately, it looks like we can go alone :).