Mr Wayne lost his love.

@Hatley (164743)
Garden Grove, California
April 1, 2013 8:04pm CST
A while back I had made a discussion about Mr.Wayne and his lady love a sweet Jewish lady.well sadly he seems really lost wandering on the second floor looking for I thought he said mother but it was really lover.She left just like that without saying goodbye or explaining why she was going. I am torn between wishing maybe they had never fallen in love and thinking for a short sweet while he was totally happy and much more with it not so confused. your take was it good even just for a short while for them to be in love or was it all a big mistake?
8 people like this
27 responses
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
2 Apr 13
Love is never a mistake. What is a mistake is that people think it has to last forever. We always hope it does but when it doesn't, it just wasn't meant to be. All you can do is cherish the memories that you did have together. What is the alternative? Living without any love at all? We NEVER can know for sure that a love will last forever. It wasn't a mistake at all. Wayne got a bunch more memories and for that he should be grateful.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
2 Apr 13
thats usually how it is after a break up. At least that has been my experience. You feel the anger, hurt, sadness and then you just accept it and remember the good stuff.
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@sid556 (31006)
• United States
3 Apr 13
Your love, Hatley...thats as good as it gets and also pretty darn rare these days.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hisid yes it is as so m any people at the first time they have a quarrel will opt for divorce instead of working things out. WE did work things out and we were always there for e ach other. That helps to keep a marriage strong too.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Apr 13
Aw, that is the saddest thing ever. I'm sorry, I am not trying to be negative but for me in my opinion I would rather not know what I was missing than to be heart broken. At least if you don't have love you don't miss it when it's not there. But to have it and then it be gone, for me would be much worse. Not trying to be negative, that is just how I see it personally. I feel so sorry for him. =(
2 people like this
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 13
I do think now that it would have been better had he not fallen in love with her as she evidently was not as loving as I thought.She left and never even told him.,thats not in my mind kosher at all. And certainly not something someone in love would really do. Now he is totally confused worse than ever.
@GardenGerty (96708)
• Marion, Kansas
2 Apr 13
I think it was probably good for both of them for the time it lasted. Did she leave on her own or did her family move her somewhere else. I hope he finds someone new to be in love with as we all need companionship. I do remember you writing about them before.
@bunnybon7 (35529)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Apr 13
oh my i sometimes think its harder when you are older because you feel it was your last chance for happiness. when did she leave? do you know if her family took her home or if she just got better maybe? how old are they both? any idea. im so sorry for them. living there is like a soap opera. is it not?
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 13
hi bunnyhbon yes it would have been their last chance. I think she left just over a month ago as thats when he started coming into our rooms asking for his lady love and at first I thought he was asking wheres his mother than I realized he meant his lover.They are both in their eighties too.She was always pretty clear headed b t hes always been a bit confused.Yesat times it does seem like it.
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
2 Apr 13
wow poor guy. Are you sure she isnt coming back?
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 13
hi maria peralta no not really but shes been gone now for several months. I do not know why she left but it sure has left him all up set and wandering and confused too,If she is in the hospital she may come back but I really do not know.I am sure nobody thought to clue him in either as so many just laughed at them. I do think people should respect elderly people just as much as anyone else.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
2 Apr 13
And the people at the home cant help? Maybe put them in touch with each other? Poor guy, i feel so sorry for him. :(
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 13
hi I don t think its that they cannot help but more they justdo not see it like I do or you do He is just an confused old resident to them. sad bu true,.
@celticeagle (117267)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Apr 13
I would like to think that it was nice for them for the time being. But I don't know them or why she left. Dementia? Mistake? Who knows. Hard to say what makes some people do the things they do.
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 13
hi celticEagle you know now that I have watched him he might be going into dementia as he says some really odd things. I know Kathy has become senile, my roommate. I hold on to my own sanity as the best gift I can have from God to be not senile but I have really made every effort to do things to keep my brain alive and functioning well.I am wondering if her adult kids did not object to her loving a man who ik not a Jew.she was after Jewish.B ut theu did have a real love for about t wo years.
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@celticeagle (117267)
• Boise, Idaho
3 Apr 13
I am so glad that you are not senile. I like you just the way you are. Don't change! Oh, the jew card, huh? Ya think? That would be a shame but could very well be.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi CelticEagle I am so glad too, I am not s ure its because he is not Jewish but they did hustle her out of here. She never even said goodbye to him. I hope not but it would explain some things,.
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@bostonphil (4397)
• United States
2 Apr 13
I do not know what to say. It is so painful to lose someone that you loved who also loved you back but it happens all the time. Yet, some believe that it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. I do not know. None of the choices appeal to me. Reading your last sentence: I do not believe that love, for even a short while can ever be a mistake.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 13
hi Phil really I do not believe that is wrong at all as love is so much more than words can even express.So he does have two years of lovely memories.But I do wish she had at least said good bye to him. I really wonder why she left but it could be her adult kids did not like her loving a non Jew but again I am really just guessing.It has left him worse off than he was before so totally confused.
• United States
2 Apr 13
So, did she just disappear? Did no one see her leaving? What about her things? What happened to her stuff? Can you ask staff and caretakers what happened to her? She could not have just gone poof in the night. I agree that she could have at least said good-by to Mr. Wayne. And I can believe that this is very hard on him being elderly ot disabled or both.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi phil I asked and they told me her adult kids came and moved her someplace.so I am wondering since they are newish and her love is not if thats why they hustled her out of there, I know she n ever told him goodbye as for a week he came up on second floor and came into our rooms asking where his lover was. He is now totally confused.
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@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
2 Apr 13
It was just infatuation. They thought they were in love. She should have told him that she was not interested. Maybe just a fling. It could be that he really loved her, but she did not in return. You should not worry unless he plans to do himself some harm. Then you can comfort him.
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi suspenseful I think he really was in lov e with her b ut I am with you that she w as not all that much in love with him. I do think since her family hustled her out of here that they the two daughters objected to Mr.,Wayne as h e is not Jewish and they all are. I really will be kind to Him as thats all I can do. JHe is just totally confused back to what ht was before he fell for her.
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@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
3 Apr 13
That could be the reason. If he were to convert to Judaism, then they might still be together, but as a Christian, it would not be right for him to go against his belief since the Jews mistakenly believe that the Messiah is still in the future and he will come on a great white horse or the modern equivalent. He will get over it, and even if she would become a Christian, (I am assuming that is his belief),she would have a hard time going against her family but at least we could pray.
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• China
2 Apr 13
How come the lady left without saying good-by and seemed like nothing has happened between them ? Maybe she thought now that nothing would come of their relation,the earlier left Mr. wayne,the better.I feel for Mr.Wayne.He certainly cherishes the memory of days he spent with her and is head over heels in love.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi chang I asked at the front desk and they told me her two daughters came and moved her out really fast.,They did not offer to tell where they were taking her either., that makes me think that the girls were not happy that their mom was having a romance with a ma n who was not Jewish. I really do not know but I am guessing that.Also I have a feeling she was not that much in love with him as he was with her.He was very much in love with her.
• China
3 Apr 13
You are right.Nothing could excuse her vanishing without trace,including religion,if they were really gone on each other.Poor Mr.Wayne,It was just his wishful thinking that she loved him.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
I feel bad thinking she was just stringing him along but its certainly possible she was. I think the least she should have done was tell him goodbye. then maybe he would not wander around just looking for her.
@artemeis (4017)
• China
2 Apr 13
I could not help feeling sorry for your friend Wayne who I guess will never know the reasons for her leaving without a word until the day of reckoning or if conscience serves her well an email. There are other scenarios I can think about but I'd hate it to be that she faded away after arriving at another place. I don't think there's anything wrong to fall in love at a late stage of one's life as long as we all have the heart for it. Life does have its mysterious moments as far as possibilities is concern. I am glad that the both of them had the opportunity to know each other and fell in love too. I hope that she is doing well or that your friend will be able to get in touch with her again soon. Is there any way to get in touch with her family members to know of her whereabouts or if she is alright from the admin office?
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi artemeis the front desk said that her two daughters came and hustled her out and were gone in a flash.They had no idea where they were moving her to and acted like they could not care less. I think it might be because they are Jewish and Mr,Wayne is not but I am of course just guessing now. But they did have some sweet times together so he will have those memories.
@artemeis (4017)
• China
3 Apr 13
I am sure there's a phone number which is a good start to get in touch with her.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi artemeis I asked b ut their phone is unlistednd I was sort of told to mind my own business for some reason, So I can just be nice to Mr.Wayne whenver I see him and thats all.
@savak03 (6681)
• United States
2 Apr 13
When you say left do you mean she left the facility or just separated from the relationship she had with him. If she left the facility she may not have had any say in the matter. Unfortunately, when we get old others seem to think they can make all our decisions for us. I have had some serious discussions with my daughter about that very subject lately.
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@JohnRok1 (2051)
2 Apr 13
In your case, mousey, it may be the cat that makes your decision for you.
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@savak03 (6681)
• United States
3 Apr 13
From reading the rest of this discussion it seems like her family did make the decision for her. Apparently they felt threatened by the fact that she was developing a relationship with another man. What do you want to bet that this woman has property or money that the kids are now in control of and they were afraid that a new love interest would cut in on their control. I feel sorry for both of these older people because they are not being allowed to control their own lives.
• United States
2 Apr 13
Perhaps, her family had to move her into a nursing home, or maybe a spot in an assisted living facility opened up and she moved in. At any rate, I don't really know. In the case of my boyfriend's mother and her boyfriend... Well, I think she really dragged him down while they were together. I think she was with him due to her dementia; he is/was (not certain if he's still around anymore) a nice guy and she liked him, but I don't think that she would have been with someone who was such a practicing Catholic if it weren't for the fact of the dementia. She is Jewish, and, from everything I know of what she was like before the dementia took over, she was never the sort who would have personally been in a romantic relationship with someone who wasn't Jewish. There are some other things that would have made such a match unlikely... I also think that, while he really seemed to like her, his own failing faculties played a role in his selection of girlfriend. If he weren't suffering Alzheimer's, they may have been friends but nothing more. They were happy much of the time while they were together, but it's best in this case that they are apart. If the situation wouldn't have been as it was, we would have figured out a way for her to stay in that area; however, she needs to be near family, and he was in rapidly failing condition. She, hopefully, has several more years left; I don't believe she would if she were in Florida. Perhaps, ultimately, the same is true for the two there--that it is best that the woman go her own way. While Mr. Wayne seems more confused, perhaps the departure of his love is in the best interests of everyone involved--no matter how painful and difficult the split may be right now.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 13
hi wilson yes I can see some parallells here. I think maybe she had changed her mind but I do not really know. Just that she left just suddenly and its apparent that she never told him either. Perhaps this is for the best as she was pretty clear minded and he has been pretty confused to the point I think he is becoming senile. A lot of what he does lately does not always make sense. I know my roomie is becoming senile asd she just asked me if this is the hospital. I told her " no Kathy this is just plain old Gold crest.? Perhaps his lady loves family might not have approved of their love but again I am just guessing.She is jewish after all.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 13
It may not have been that the family disapproved. It may have been that she could get into a Jewish facility now; that would definitely be a reason to make the move. If it were more convenient, we would have my boyfriend's mother in a Jewish facility. Unfortunately, that would not work in our situation. So, we have "no pork" in her file and hope that she doesn't either freak too badly during Christian holidays or end up converted during one of the church services. Honestly, it could go either way depending on the day. Facilities in this country really need to start getting in touch with the fact that there is a huge aging population and that not everyone is a Christian... or even of any faith at all.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi wilson you are so right,.Although my coming here was born out oof really necssity to find someplace besides the street for me to live.We had been evicted as my son was laid off right in the middle of the worst economy ever. t.We had spent all our savings thinking he would soon get another job but that just did not happen hence we were evicted and I cam here nd my son got help from housing America for young men jobless so they would have living quarters to give an address while they searched for work. He is now working full time. but not making the kind of wages he had before as he took this job that was not computer programming,. anyway thats why I am stuck here for my son had hoped to make better wages so he could get me and him into a two bedroom apt but it just has nt happened., anyway these owners of retirement centers should be thinking more abut us as people not as waking thousand dollar bills.that's what they charge per month here. I was lucky that between my social security check and my SSI check the rent and board are covered and let me have 128 dollars for myself for the month so I mylot like crazy for some extra money, I do feel for poor Mr Wayne., I am wondering if the lady love's adult kids did not want mom being in a romance with a non jew . I really do not know but am just guessing. ]
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
3 Apr 13
Poor Mr Wayne, love that came too late in life was only a temporary happiness and now it seems he has to nurse his broken heart but hopefully this won't drive him to senility much faster.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi zandi poor man I sort of fear he is already approaching that. She at least could have said good bye to him so he knew to put an ending to that love story. I think she was really not as much in love with him as he was with her.She left and nobody knows why or where she went.
@KrauseHome (34994)
• United States
3 Apr 13
Many times, even when things may not go as good as you want, things like this are often worth the wait. To love and loose happens all the time, but worth the effort to try. Maybe this is only a short break away and maybe you'll never know. But if it is having people to help move him thru this is always a good helpful suggestion for sure.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi tina I get so teed off at people here as most look at him as just a bothersome old man who will not stay seated at his table. I wonder if they have even noticed that a while back he and his lady love were really in love and acting like teenagers with it, necking and cuddling. So now they just scold him for going off and do not realize he is now looking for his lady love.She was moved out in two hours by her two daughters and they did not say where they ere taking her. odd. She did not even say good bye to him.By the way he is ibn a wheelchair.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
2 Apr 13
Did she die? or did she just ditch him? It is sad, maybe he is just cpnfused on it.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
2 Apr 13
Spring Is Here In Full Bloom Already. - Spring makes us fall in love sometimes. Will this love last forever? Something that we really can never know for sure.
Nice blue skies trees are getting their leaves back again love is in the air.
Some love stories are sad and others are mixed and some last forever it seems.
Hello Hatley, Very sad story but at the same time it was nice that they did love each other for a time at least better that than nothing at all. Hopefully he will get over it in time and perhaps remember the times they had spent together or maybe he will meet someone else. One Door closes another one opens. xxx
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hoi lovinangelsinstead 21. I think her two daughters came and hustled her out of here as they did not like the idea of their Jewish mom being in a romance with a non Jew.They did not even tell the people at the front desk where they were moving her. I hope he will eventually get over her and just have some sweet memories.
2 Apr 13
in fact love is a very big mistake !!
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hio obadadada oh no love is never a mistake at all. Its better they had over a year together and he at least was really in love with her and she appeared to be in love with him too. I learned that her t o daughters came one day and hustled her off and never told the people at the front desk were they were taking her.that was odd. I think since they were all Jewish that they did noi want thei mom being inlove with a man who was not Jewish.But he wil get over it sooner or later.
@HONEYPALS (270)
• Nairobi, Kenya
2 Apr 13
People should be able to agree to agree as well as agree to disagree...walking out is not the answer - talking it out, whatever it is - and agreeing to agree or disagree is the answer. What she did was wrong - your friend should forget her and get on with life.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi honeypals Yes b ut I think that her daughters may have put the kibitz on their romance as they are all Jewish while he is not,. I am guessing as to that being why they hustled her out one day in just a few hours and never told the front desk where they were taking her.He will get over it in time I suppose but for right now he is totally confused.
@alpha9180 (301)
• Malaysia
2 Apr 13
It is wonderful to see elderly in love. But sorry to hear his lover missing in action. Probably she has gone some where and just hope that she will be back for him.
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 13
hi alpha I think that her two daughters spirited her away as they are all Jewish and Mr Wayne is not., I am of course just guessing but something made them come and hystle her out of here and did not tell the front desk where they were going.Rather odd that one. but at least they had more than a year together before she left like that.
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
2 Apr 13
dear Hatley, Oh, this is so sad. Wonder why people who truly love lost the person they loved the most Maybe- it's not true love that happens between them... but still- it's sweet to have fallen in love even for a short time Have a great day ma'm
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@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 13
hi jaiho it well could be she was not that deeply ik love buj she sure gave a good act if she was not. I really do not know why she moved out but I can see she did not tell him at all. He has become now totally confused and keeps looking for her up here on the second floor going from room to room saying he is looking for his lover. It makes me feel so sad for him. He seems really lost now.