I don't want to get married

United States
April 2, 2013 2:08pm CST
I know now that I change my mind about getting married. I don't want to get married and I don't want to live with anyone. I know it will upset him but,I don't plan to mention it at this time. I want to live life like this forever. I am jealous of people who have it made in the shade. I am hoping it continues like this for a long time. I am good for the time being.
8 people like this
18 responses
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
2 Apr 13
Girl.. I hate to say this but you are like night and day. You dont know what you want. You need a good little vacation so you can gather your thoughts.
3 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 13
I think she is just now discovering her potential. Before she was so scared to be alone she was back and forth with Adrian leaving with his temper tantrums. Now she can be alone with herself without freaking out.
2 people like this
• Mexico
2 Apr 13
I agree, but she needs to get those people who are taking her down away from her. So she can move on there.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 13
I bet you I don;t get married and I live alone for a long time. lol. I am having a ball here alone with myself and my thoughts.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
2 Apr 13
My thoughts exactly. I think that more couples would last longer and happier if they maintained separate places and maintained their independence. I know couples that have divorced and then started seeing each other yet both refuse to ever live together again and they are happier and more in love than they have been in years. I've been married, divorced and done the live-in thing and honestly at this point I would not have it any other way. It's not for everyone but it works for me and a lot of other people.
3 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 13
I agree Sid. I think Sharon has lost sight of who she is and what she needs because she has been catering to all the other people in her life and not getting anything much in return. She has been so used up she is exhausted and needs time for her.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
3 Apr 13
Yes and that is what I was doing. I catered to my husband and of course the kids. I will say that living on my own and raising the kids on my own, I learned to push the kids to be independent and do things to help out so that I was not catering so much. I found that by keeping my own independence that I was able to make better choices about who I let into my personal life. Sharon has not only been very dependent on adrian for his company and whatever but like you said...she tries too hard to please everyone but herself. The enormous amount of strength that it takes to keep up with all that is something that she doesn't realize she has. If she sticks to being on her own long enough then she will realize that she is far stronger than she ever imagined and will wonder why she could not make it on her own long before she did. And from there,it only gets better.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Apr 13
I am being made to feel guilty because I want to stay home alone now. I don't care I am going to stay home and he can come here if he wants to see me tomorrow.
• United States
3 Apr 13
I am glad that you are enjoying your freedom and independence. I think you needed some time for yourself and to find out what makes you happy which is sewing and making different projects. I think you finally found the self confidence you needed and to belief that you yourself can do anything you put your mind to it. I am glad you are feeling better.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Apr 13
I am living the life right now and that is what I plan to continue to do.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
2 Apr 13
You both have to agree on it, not change the subject when it comes. My brother and his wife for example. He wanted to get married, where she didn't. Even though she got married, she brings it up constantly it even puts a dent in the relationship because she regrets it because she didn't. This was never brought up, or in communication with.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Apr 13
He is going to flip out so I am not going to bring it up. the day will come where I will have to say I am not getting married and I will deal with it then.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
2 Apr 13
giftsandbagscom No matter where we are in life, there will be positives and negatives. Every situation will have its' ups and downs..and we have to learn to appreciate the good times and endure the not so good times as best as possible. I wish you happiness whatever you decide!!
2 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 13
Thanks so much.
@alpha9180 (301)
• Malaysia
3 Apr 13
That shows that you are not ready for a married life. It is all right remain single and not married. If you are able to be independent, single life has more freedom. You need not tied down with someone and can have your own space anytime, any days.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164486)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 13
higifts yuo have found yourself and now you do know what you want,.So I say stick to it. I am sorry if Adrain blows a fuse as this is your life and now you are reclaim ng it for you and you go ahead and do what you really want to do,so many times we live for others always doing what we think w must do to accommodate others and not being happy with that either.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 13
This time around it is me that I am living for. I am tired of doing stuff to make everyone else happy around me.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 13
I hope you continue to put your needs first right now. It's not selfish to be good to yourself. The others are grown also and should not suck the life out of you like they do. It's impotmrtant to have balance in your life, to do that you need to start caring for SHARON.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
3 Apr 13
Yes, when you are good to yourself then you are a happier person which means you spread that happiness to those around you. When you are stressed and miserable..well,that is just as contagious. Best to spread the smiles.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 13
It's good that you know that. Having to settle for someone with selfish bad habits and controlling behavior just to not be alone is not a good place to be emotionally. Knowing what you want and don't want for your life is everything.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 13
I just hope when others find out my choice I don't have to hear a bunch of crap. I know my mother will be happy though.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
2 Apr 13
don't worry about what anyone else thinks, Sharon. Listen to your heart.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 13
You have to live your life according to what is right for you, whatever that is. You are the one that has to live with your choices, none of us do. Even if you jump back into your old unhealthy cycles, it's still your decision Sharon. I'm proud of your choices so far because you are thinking about what you need to be happy. Even if you totally flip back to the sick Sharon of a month or so ago, it's your decision. I'm gonna be your friend regardless.
2 people like this
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
3 Apr 13
then do not force yourself to get married. when it is just for a moment, enjoy the time being alone without a husband yet. just explain with him your thoughts why you decided it like that. sometimes, we like to be single and being a single-blessedness. no hassle, we can move freely without prohibition and as if we are free to do things on our own. i am also like that. when i can see shortcomings with my boyfriend, a thought will flash in my mind that why bother to live someone like him when i could be happy living alone and free from worrisome. you know life is not all sweet and that it has bitterness. we can experience this all with or without a partner. so we can try to fix our mind or decision on a long run. :) God bless your plans in life and hope you obtain the success you want in life in accordance with His will. :)
1 person likes this
@emily7339 (1339)
• Malaysia
3 Apr 13
I came to know your name as Sharon. I would address you as Sharon instead from now on as I feel closer this way with my friend! It is good that you are clear of what you want. You do not need others to dictate your life. If you can be independent that will be the best. As it is better to able to handle things and situations ourself as others may not always be with us. So, we will not be panic or helpless when in time arises...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Apr 13
getting married or is an individual choice. No one but you alone decides on your own. We are living in a different world with different lifestyle so choices and decisions about life must be personal. What annoys me when people ask why you're not married? a terrible question that I always encountered almost daily. I hate this but people are so silly trying to tell us that our choices must be like theirs. I am not married and no plans of getting married, so What's wrong with that?
@Pegasus72 (1901)
8 Apr 13
Do what is in your heart. If you aren't happy don't get married.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
4 Apr 13
You have your own reasons, which I respect. And maybe it is the best set up for you coz you can gauge yourself on up to which extent you can only be for a person. And I hope that Adrian can accept that.
@lelin1123 (15644)
• Puerto Rico
4 Apr 13
I'm so glad that you are happy being alone. It is a good feeling isn't it. That is why when my husband leaves for the day I love it. I love having the whole house to myself where I can do whatever I feel like. I hope you continue to feel good about living alone and that you realize how you were putting obstacles in the way of your happiness. Let Adrian live his life and you yours. If its meant to be it will in the end. You don't have to live together to be together.
@suzzy3 (8357)
3 Apr 13
What do you mean by living in the shade? I am married and quiet happy being so.I see so many people getting married just because it is the next thing on the list to do.They get married for the wrong reasons just for security.Doing that is unfair on the other person.If you are happy as you are then stay that way. Being able to do what you want when you want sounds great sometimes but I like the thought of my husband returning to me every night and don't mind compromise within the relationship although I normally get my own way . It is better to upset him then it is to break his heart.If he really loves you he will understand if he does not he is not worth it.Be happy.
• India
3 Apr 13
Hi gifts.. Thanks for sharing, but i guess it is a temporary phase, soon you will change your mind..
@TLilly12 (1230)
• United States
3 Apr 13
Marriage is something you have to really, sit down and thing about, I didn't think about it before I rushed, and did it and my marriage lasted, only a year and now I am glad to be living alone, doing what ever I want to do.
@SamShima (71)
• Nigeria
3 Apr 13
Not just for the time being. Remember you said you want to live like this forever. It is a good decision especially if you prayed for this to the God Almighty. Staying single and always praying to God brings you very, very close to God, especially when you submit yourself totally to Him. Remember, woe betide should you deviate from God's will. I wish you happy single life in Jesus' name.