..why cant children choose their own career options?

India
April 5, 2013 12:12pm CST
Hey guys, it is so disgusting whenever my friends say that they do not want to pursue engineering but due to their parental pressures they have landed up doing engineering. The misery does not end here, they have lost their focus so much so that they have failed in many subjects also. Then what is the need when one cannot follow one's heart? This is not the only example, one of my close friend said to me that she wanted to do biotechnology but since she was a girl n that course has no good institutes in our state, her parents did not allow her to do it otherwise she would have gone outside. So her parents forced her to do engineering. The problem with most of us is that our mind has become associated with certain things so much so that we forget to think about other subjects as well. i have also heard that those children who have argued with their parents to pursue a career where his or her heart lies, then they r either disowned by their parents or are forced to leave their houses. What r your thoughts regarding this? Do u fall into this category also? Who is to be blamed for this? Please do share your thoughts!
5 responses
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
6 Apr 13
Parents always want what is best for their children. And sometimes, they still see their children as small kids and their tendency is to decide for them even if the children are not capable of deciding on their own. Since I was a kid, I have always wanted to be a doctor. It was really my long-time dream. So when I was about to take applications for College, I told my mom about my dream. She wasn't happy with it coz she said that it would be a very long process and if ever I just finish the pre-medical course and decide not to continue with Medicine, I might just end up like as a teacher. Honestly, I do not see anything wrong in being a teacher coz I also wanted to teach. So she was forcing me to take Accounting, but I refused. Numbers are not my forte. I had no choice but to take Dentistry coz I really want to be studying any course related to science, at least. But I guess, not having that course as my first choice was not enough to make me pursue the career..... So when my son went to College 3 years back, I never interfered with what he wanted. He asked my opinion and all I told him was to take a course which he takes he would really love. I do not want to tell him to take a course which he won't be happy with it. He took Marketing Course and after two years he felt it was not right for him. And now he is Taking Legal Management. He said he is more comfortable with it. I sometimes help him out with his researches and reflection papers.
• Philippines
6 Apr 13
I can say I'm lucky because my mom and dad didn't force to get a course that I don't want. They only suggested nursing course because they thought that this kind of course is an easy way to go abroad. But didn't force to get that one because they are afraid that I may not be able to focus because I was just forced to get it and I really don't want that course. But anyway, I agree with Jenny. Since parents always want something for the best for their children, they are unconsciously they already controlling the life of their children. Maybe too much paranoia or being idealistic have forced some parents to push their wants for their children....
• India
8 Apr 13
@jenny1015- Yes my dear friend, u are absolutely right, no matter parents always treat their children as kids which is not bad but when it comes to taking decision they never allow them enough freedom. i know you could not pursue your desired course but u never let the same thing happen with your son and that speaks about the greatness of being a mother. I am proud that u have never forced your son to pursue a career that he is not interested to go in.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
9 Apr 13
Not having a grudge over my mom, but I just felt like letting my kids do what they feel they want but of course, being accountable for it. I mean, I often tell my son, if he thinks that there are "bad" things that he sees in our family, he should try not to do it with his own family in the future. I have been sheltered all my life. Among 3 siblings, since I am the eldest, my parents were always meddling with everything. I never had the freedom to be with my friends. I only get to be with them in school. And since my kids are all boys, I think they ought to have more freedom that girls.
• India
21 Apr 13
Well,its a sad thing to see.In a way, children should be able to express their interests and helping them to move with their passions is one thing parents needs to do.But most people have impression that and engineering or doctor or mba degree is secure for their children future which is always not the case.Worse, the unwanted stress does lot of harm for the children.In my case, well from day one i was pursuing my interests.I was fascinated in computer and mathematics , so choose computer while in school itself and opted out of biology.I was severely criticized by my dad for not taking biology as he wanted me to be a doctor.He was a doctor by profession.Well,when i took engineering , i choose computer science which was again criticized by some including relatives who believed electronics and communications was the thing for future.Well,i stuck to my decision and glad on that to this day.I got into the IT sector and all thanks to this decision.Funny thing is now all my relatives and people who criticized me are silent in this aspect and understand their mistakes.Parents needs to guide children and explain pros and cons of each decision.They need to provide guidance after checking out things them selves.They need to understand their children before making any decision.Thanks!
• India
24 Apr 13
Yes dear u are absolutely right, parents should always support their children and see to it that they pursue the subjects of their interest so that they can have a bright future ahead. Besides i am so proud of u that u always followed my heart in spite of going against your father and relatives and in the end see u only won the battle. u are a very bright example for all of us. In between where do u work now?
@jiiiiin (569)
• Philippines
9 Apr 13
I'm happy that my parents didn't forced me to take any course I don't have the interest. I might just have failling grades in taking what I don't want.
• India
12 Apr 13
Wow, that sounds great that your parents never interfered in taking your own decisions otherwise u would have had a falling career. besides not every children has luck like you where their parents are supporting them to choose their own career otherwise we would not have seen children ending their lives out of frustration.
• Philippines
6 Apr 13
I have a lot of friends that has in the same situation. They are just forced to take their courses.. and I know that If one person doesnt have the passion or doesnt do it heartily, they will really fail in their subjects..
• India
8 Apr 13
Oh really, u have many friends who r in this situation? I think they must be ruing their luck and destiny for the situation in their lives. unless and until one has no heart in some task or job they r bound to fail in that field. Forcing someone to pursue a course is like pushing him or her to the edge of a building and asking them to jump.
@cudamani (997)
• India
5 Apr 13
I think not all children are equipped with the acumen to choose their own careers. Parents have to go to their rescue at some point of time, say while they are in school. The parent would explain the pros and cons of a particular occupation or a career and leave the decision to the ward.
• India
8 Apr 13
Yes u are absolutely right, not every child is lucky to have his or her desired career, in fact at times parents support their children a lot while at times they push them to the brink of their expectations. In fact as u have mentioned they have to recognize their children's talent and interest right from their school days and help them chose a career.