Dwelling...

Jacksonville, Florida
April 5, 2013 2:19pm CST
I have a really bad habit of dwelling on things that have hurt or upset me somehow... Have you noticed that about me? Lol, I am sure you have! I guess this is Self Reflection week for me or something, I don't know. Here's the thing, when someone has bothered me, upset me or hurt me in any way-they get WAY too much of my time and energy. I mean, I think about it, replay it, want to change things, ask myself what I did wrong, etc... What in the world am I doing?? Trying to kill myself at an early age from too much stress?!? Okay all of you dwellers-just admit it and work on changing it! That is what I am doing, we can do this together! Geez, another goal. I am pushing myself hard this week!
6 people like this
19 responses
@alpha9180 (301)
• Malaysia
6 Apr 13
Yes, like Paul says in Philippians 3:13, forgetting those things ( negative )which are behind so that we can move forward to those things ( positive ), I believe what Paul is speaking is just forgetting which can hinder us to reach and push ourselves to reach goal this week but every weeks together !
2 people like this
@dagami (1163)
• Rome, Italy
5 Apr 13
you're not alone, i sometimes wallow in my miseries too. LOL i know this doesn't improve the situation nor does it bring back time so we can undo or rewite the script but somehow i can't help doing this especially if the wound is still fresh in me. maybe that's just it. it's our nature, we were made this way.
1 person likes this
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
5 Apr 13
I would be ecstatic to find out it isn't actually a "fault" and we are just made this way! :)
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr 13
I think it's part of what makes us human.
• Jacksonville, Florida
5 Apr 13
I for one, really want to change this about myself. I should not be letting people get to me that way. And I think it is causing a lot of stress on my shoulders. =( Maybe we are just made this way, but I don't want to be that way anymore. :)
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
5 Apr 13
I am the same way. As much as I try to just let things go as people suggest...I give it way too much energy and time. This is one of my many faults as human being that im working on! I believe it just means that we are caring people- sort of turning a negative into a positive :)
• Jacksonville, Florida
5 Apr 13
Yeah I think a lot more people are than I realized! Lol. I am working on stopping it but its tough...I am just working on myself and being a better person. :) I am caring-too caring because all I am hurting is myself. That is part of the problem. I take on everything, on my shoulders and it is stressful!
1 person likes this
• Atlantic City, New Jersey
8 Apr 13
yes I agree it can be VERY stressful. People like use need to learn what to take on..and what to just let go...because the reality is....we cannot fix everything :)
@emily7339 (1340)
• Malaysia
6 Apr 13
Well, I like that. It is good not to dwell on these negative things in life. Stress is actually a silent killer. Let us keep it out of our life and be at peace and filled with joy and laugher! A merry heart does good like a medicine! Cheers for your excellent goal! If you are determined, you could achieve it!
• Jacksonville, Florida
6 Apr 13
I am working hard on it but it is a really tough one for me. I know the stress is killing me though so that is why I am trying to change this...
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
6 Apr 13
Good for you....self reflection does help in area's where we need to change. I am not so much a dweller....I kinda let things go for the most part...and it does save alot of stress.....
• Jacksonville, Florida
6 Apr 13
I wish I could just let things go so easy. But I do think about it over and over and I usually want to talk about things over and over until I feel better about whatever it is. I am working on it, this is a really tough one for me though...
@bunnybon7 (35529)
• Holiday, Florida
6 Apr 13
myself ive been known to do it as so many around me also does it and i call it "stewing" its where you think and think of things till it comes to a boil and you either explode or it causes you a breakdown in some other way. im always thinking ive got to quit it, but i never can it seems its become a fact of life with me and i just try and cool it for a while. that really dont last long though.
• Jacksonville, Florida
6 Apr 13
Yeah I usually have break downs when I reach that point which is not good for me. I had a break down the other day, unfortunately someone from MyLot got to see that side of me through conversation here but I just hit my boiling point and could not handle things anymore. I hate that I do that to myself! I am working on not doing it but it's really hard, I set a lot of goals for myself this week and this one is the hardest so far!
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
6 Apr 13
It was never hard for me to move one right after some heartaches. But I did try to help myself not to get insane. I would be crying for hours and weeks. Until I get over it. I wish I could completely get over it. But sometimes, it just happens---remembering everything that has happened and be crying again. Then I'd feel miserable all over again for being stupid.
• Jacksonville, Florida
6 Apr 13
I wish I could just get something out of my system and move on but it takes me a while. Just today for an example, I am having problems with a client. I know I'm right in the situation but its bothering me that this person cannot see what I am trying to explain. So, I told my husband and I came here with the issue but its still bothering me. It will bother me until we can figure it all out and come to an agreement...
• United States
5 Apr 13
I think we all do that to some extent. I tend to dwell on things that happened and I can't change. I do try to let things go and I do in time.
• Jacksonville, Florida
5 Apr 13
Yeah it just takes me a while to get over things when I know there is nothing I can do to change it! Ugh, why do I bother getting stressed about things I cannot possibly change? I know it, it's just hard to put that into practice!
@inertia4 (27398)
• United States
12 Apr 13
I also dwell on things from time to time, but I never as what I did wrong. I am a worrier by nature. I mainly worry about my children. And when I was married I used to worry about my wife. It is something built into me. It does cause stress and anxiety. I am looking for a way to lessen that. But it is part of my makeup. If you dwell, then chances are that is part of who you are and trying to change it will be useless.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
11 Apr 13
The more you share about your personality, the more I realize that we're not that different from each other. I too, share the same hang-ups like you. I keep working at making myself better, but sometimes I just can't help it, because it is just who I am. I wish you luck in this goal. May you succeed, and that you inspire me as well!
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Apr 13
yeah, I dwell on stuff too, especially if I don't get "closure" to my satisfaction. Like if a person doesn't at least tell me what was wrong and why they're upset with me or treating me a certain way, it will just drive me nuts.
@wolfie34 (26816)
• United Kingdom
7 Apr 13
Sounds like something I do, analyzing everything to the 'nth degree. You fill your head up with this person and what they have said, and how they said it, and why they said it, and the list goes on, until your head becomes a complete maelstrom, and you can't think about anything else. It's also a cognitive trap, when we are sensitive or lack self esteem, we see things that people do in negative ways, as though they are out to get us, out to make our lives a misery. Believe me it's an easy trap to fall into and an equally difficult one to stop falling into.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
7 Apr 13
I use to work with a girl who is just like you. I sometimes wonder, but she will eblieve anything you say, and think about it for hours. A girl we use to work with saaid the store will be closing, and they can just fire you on the spot (all is true), but she made it sound like the end of the world, she keeps texting me saying what should she do. If someone says something to her, or even a customer says something she will think about it for days, even weeks later.
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
7 Apr 13
I want you to reach your goal. It really does take too much of our energy and time. I know I often think about things too much. It will take me time to be better at this but I'm working on it as well. Sometimes it can be more difficult to try and keep our emotions in check when the individuals who are bothering us live in the same household or are close family and friends.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
6 Apr 13
That sounds too familiar in me and hard to get rid off.
@Deepak2J (1180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
6 Apr 13
I am also the same. Just for unnecessarily got stressed many times.
@SIMPLYD (78118)
• Philippines
6 Apr 13
You should learn how to let go of the hurts in your life. Forgive if you can. It's the best way to let go of a hurt. I know it sounds easy but when to be done it's difficult. But rather than be miserable with it, elude the thought of it. Socialize and be with happy people.
• India
6 Apr 13
Hi LovingMyBabies. Well I am just the opposite of you. I just avoid thinking about things. Even this habit is bad as it hinders growth and progress.. I was good at my academics. But then my performance started dropping. I never wondered or tried to think on what exactly went wrong. I need to think about it now at least or I will not get a better job. However, my girlfriend is kind of like you.She thinks too much and stresses herself unnecessarily. I hope we end up teaching each other.. Have a nice day !! SuperShames
@succeednow (1636)
• Singapore
6 Apr 13
Hi LovingMyBabies, You shouldn't be too hard on yourself as that will guarantee to leave you stressed out. Also try to decrease your sensitivity level. Life is short. Live and let live. Don't worry, be happy. There are many more wise sayings of this nature. If you reflect and take action on these wise sayings you'll be well on your way to a happier and healthier life. Have a great and happy day.