When It was late!

India
April 13, 2013 4:47am CST
sometimes I used to think if I could have more feeling and thoughts little more for my marriage choice then how different life I could have from now! it was a competition between my present man and the one who was a consul of embassy and loved me terrible.. he came from his country while he did not have any spare time and after a long distance I just said to him no on my ego.... for hearing my straightforward word, his BP increased and after a day, they called me that he is in the hospital and almost for a month he was not in good health.... why I did that.. I still remember his voice while with too broken heart said to me for the last chance and for the last that I think of his shaking voice and hearing but I love you...please! don't say no... I sometimes think why it happens like that... why I choose this terrible man...what happen to my mind that time? is that was his sigh that I suffer like this in my marriage life? i tried to inform him that i need forgiveness as i suffer a lot but he just replied leave it for God....
6 responses
@shrijsr (577)
• Bangalore, India
13 Apr 13
Seems like you are now regretting on your decision now after a long time. I am sorry to tell it, but there is no point in thinking about it now. I really understand what you are going through. I also have my share of regrets just like you and the only difference, I have not been married to anyone else and I am now waiting for him to return back to me. I never even gave the person who loves me more than anything to even speak to me and express his feelings for me. The cost that I am paying now is, I want to tell him everything and he is not there with me or around me to express my feelings to him. Life really changes really fast and we never know or realize our mistakes that sooner. We take or make differences in our life depending on our ego or thinking properly. We both somewhere made the same mistake. God alone should help us with this.
• India
13 Apr 13
thanks for your sharing here as at least it give me feeling that I am not alone and not that only one who ignored chance on ego... well... I do not think about him but sometimes I just realize my mistake in my choice.... but why he did not forgive me when I asked for? I just send him a message that I know I hurt you but just forgive me cause I am through my life and I suffer with my husband...
1 person likes this
@shrijsr (577)
• Bangalore, India
15 Apr 13
Yeah, no one is alone in anything that happens in their life. Either the ultimate happiness or terrible pain. Someone or the other will definitely be there like you. He wouldn't have responded, may be because he was hurt more than you think, or may be, he has forgiven you and since you are through with your life, he wouldn't want anything more to do with you because may be he also would have been through in his life.
• India
15 Apr 13
i think you are right. but what I know he is single yet and has said to friends that he would not marry in his life, may friends want to bring him out of that situation but he is not listening.. I do not know if he forgave me or not.. I was just was not able to say from starting that I do not love him I did not want him to hurt but he could not understand that....
1 person likes this
@Mavic123456 (9869)
• Thailand
13 Apr 13
there is nothing Late or early in the decision you just made. You turn back the hands of time so why now think about it and be regretful. During that time when you turned him down it was the best decision you have made. Are you trying to say that maybe this broken hearted man cursed you to have failed marriage, because you did not choose him?
• India
13 Apr 13
no I do not say that.. that was my mistake to choose this one. but when I came to realize my mistake as a human, I just asked for forgiveness but he did not forgive me and still sighs on me... even if my husband die, I would never marry him or anyone else.. but just to have calm of mind.. after that also I said to God I asked him to forgive when I realized that I hurt him but he did not.. but I believe that sometimes sigh of broken heart may effect on our life if the person really hurt!
• Thailand
13 Apr 13
ahhhh....well, it was neither a punishment from God, too. You don't love that man for that moment, and you were just firm with your decision of not giving him false hope. It is just too bad that he did not take it positively. Now, for your current situation, I can't make any rationalization on it. I can't say that it is your fate or you made a wrong decision.
@grvdubey11 (1882)
• India
13 Apr 13
Well what happened with you is sad,full sympathy with you on this.Sometimes we take some decisions which we regret later ,but that happens in life, that is how we learn.More you think about this ,you will feel more sad,so cheer up.Best wishes.
• India
15 Apr 13
I just do not want to think about that too. but sometimes I feel something too heavy in hanging in my heart....
@dpk262006 (56217)
• Delhi, India
13 Apr 13
Hi! You see the decision regarding marriage is very crucial and should be taken with care. You should not in any way think that because you rejected the other guy, his bad wishes or curse is affecting your married life. You probably would have hoped for the best that is why you selected the man who is now your hubby. If we all could see our future then scenario would be different. Alas! It is is not possible. We have to adjust with our respective parters (or if things go completely out of hand, one could think of divorce) and move ahead. There is no point feeling guilty on this account. Perhaps it was your destiny and you need to face it boldly and with courage.
• India
15 Apr 13
thank you for your response
13 Apr 13
yes now it is too late and i think he is settle now and enjoying with his nice family, so now there is no benefit to think about that. I can understand what you are feeling now and it is really a typical time for you when you think about that time. But just think it is not your husband fault if he is ill, What he feel when he know that you do not love to him and you do not care for him even you are his wife and he is your life partner. What you would feel if you would know that he want that you die and he would enjoy alone in this world as you described before also and then you think what would be the value for your husband in your eyes if you would know all of these things and take yourself at the place of your husband, So it is not the fault of your husband only, Please try to understand the things and try to improve the things, hope everything would be fine very soon and you would enjoy...
• India
15 Apr 13
thanks ... anyway could you talk to your dream girl?
@roshigo58 (4871)
• Pune, India
13 Apr 13
Hi, You are right. It is too late. When you said no to him who was loving you very muckjust for ego. now you are suffering a lot. It is your fate and you have to accept it. You have to face it courageously. This is called life. we have opportunities in life we can't recognize them and regret after realizing it.
• India
13 Apr 13
I understand my mistake and I accept my mistake almost from four years ago. but what I wanted that I ask for forgiveness that I go better through my life but why he did not forgive!