A misconception I had as a child.
By Sissy15
@sissy15 (12269)
United States
April 14, 2013 1:26pm CST
I remember when I was little I used to think adults never cried. I don't think I ever saw my parents cry and I felt that I always cried. I mean I was always getting hurt or something and would find myself crying. As I got older I cried less and less. I mean I know now as an adult that adults do cry. It's just that most of us don't cry as often over things we did as a child. We have matured and only cry over things that really hit home. Like a death or maybe a serious injury. I don't cry when I get hurt anymore I yell out in pain but I don't cry (even though sometimes I want to). I cry over things such as my sons surgery he had (cleft lip repair) and times when I have been scared out of my mind. I also find I cry tears of happiness which I never understood until I had a child. I used to wonder why people cried when they were happy it didn't make sense to me. Then I became a parent.
As a child though I guess I just thought because I never saw my parents cry that they didn't cry. I just thought adults were tough so they didn't need to cry. As an adult I see how wrong I was. It's not that adults don't cry it's that they cry less or they cry when no one is looking, because let's face it a good majority of us see crying as a weakness and most of us don't want others to see us do it. We don't want others to view us as weak. Truth is crying isn't really a weakness it's just a way to let out our emotions. We usually feel so much better after a bout of crying, but that still doesn't mean I want someone to see me cry.
I used to never even admit that I cried, but now I really don't care who knows it. I just don't want them to see me do it. I guess now it's more of a privacy thing. I can't quite describe how I feel about it or why I don't want others to see me do it. It's not something I really view as being weak anymore but it's not something I want them to see me do either. I have never worn my emotions on my sleeve. I mean I obviously feel them but not everyone knows what I'm feeling because I don't show them very often. I show some emotions, but not a lot of them.
I have never and probably will never be an emotional person at least not for everyone else to see. It's not that I don't have a healthy outlet to let go of my thoughts and feelings because I do. It's just that the majority of people don't see them. The people that see the other side of me are those whom I trust most. So with all of this being said. My question is did anyone else have this misconception as a child? How does everyone else deal with their feelings? Do you let yourself cry in front of others?
2 people like this
3 responses
@fajriyaniamber (89)
• Indonesia
15 Apr 13
hi
Me too, i always think that adult is mature that they never cry, they are like strong people. but sometime i also think that they don't have heart, cause whatever we've done always wrong, and they easily get mad , it's like they don't like us. but when i'm become adult, now i feel that we have time and place to do that. cause there are many factor that we have to consider when we are adult. now, i know that when the adult are mad because something we have done, it's not like they don't like. it's just they really love us so they give us warn to know what better for us, for our future,, i know that because my mom and dad always mad to me when i'm small, but now, thanks for my parents, until this day when i'll graduate from my school i've seen what they've already given me when i'm small, such us knowledge to know what the bad and good part. :D
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
15 Apr 13
I never thought my parents didn't have a heart. I always thought they were wrong when they said "This will hurt me more than it hurts you". As a parent myself I get what they meant. It hurts to see your child in pain or crying and knowing that you're the cause of it, but children need to be disciplined to know that they can't do some things and to help them become better people. It's because of the way my parents raised me that I know how to be a parent myself. I also understand that as an adult, adults do cry. They are only tough on the inside. Inside they are a wreck! I may look like I have it together most of the time, but I'm far from it. I don't show my feelings on the outside. I feel them I just don't show them. The reason adults don't cry is partly because of maturity and knowing that crying isn't really a solution and it isn't going to help solve a problem, but it does sometimes make you feel better. It's in another part because many see it as a sign of weakness. There are a ton of reasons why many adults don't cry at least not where people can see them. I do cry but it's usually in private where no one can see me.
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
16 Apr 13
I don't think as children we realize what it is our parents are doing for us. It's great that you can see what your parents have done for you now. Especially while you are still so young. A lot of us it takes until we are parents ourselves. I kind of realized it before I had my son, but it really hit home after I had him. It's not easy being an adult, you have to make a lot of tough decisions knowing you may be making a mistake, but doing what you believe is in your child's best interest. I have a much greater respect for my own parents since I have become a parent myself. It's great that you have a great respect for your parents and love them and see what it is they have done for you before you have become a parent and before you have really stepped out into the real world. It will make your journey into true adulthood much easier knowing you have everything your parents taught you and understanding what it is they did for you. Some people don't realize until they are much older and they spend so much time trying to be opposite their parents and later realize that it's what their parents have been trying to instill in them that's going to truly help them, not trying to be opposite them.
@fajriyaniamber (89)
• Indonesia
15 Apr 13
yeah i think so,, that's why when i'm aware of what they have done to me, i kiss their feet and say sorry for them begging for forgiveness. but ouhh,, i really want to cry when they suddenly said,, it's our obligation to warn you cause we hope you will do the same to your child only to see their success... i love them very much,,, and that's why from that time that i know what the adults have done, i feel respect for them,, :D
@Frederick42 (2024)
• Canada
28 Apr 13
Everybody cries in this world, adult or child. But parents almost never cry in front of their children. Therefore, it is natural for the child to think that adults do not cry.
But there are also parents who do not act God in front of children. Such parents do not hide their true feelings. They are what they are in front of their children. They are not ashamed to cry in front of children. Such children will never have such misconceptions.
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
28 Apr 13
Of course everyone cries and being an adult I now know that. I don't think not crying in front of children is necessarily parents being ashamed of being who they are so much as them trying to protect their children from things. It's not necessarily a bad thing to cry in front of your child either. It's all a matter of perspective. I don't think I've ever cried in front of my child. It's just how some parents do it. Some are not strong enough to hold in their tears or don't feel the need to, because some believe emotions are not something that needs to be feared, and really it's not. For me it's a matter of not wanting my child to be frightened, but we aren't able to protect our children forever. We don't want them to be afraid but sometimes a kid has to go through those feelings too, and it isn't a bad thing to go through them together to show them it's ok to cry. There is nothing wrong with that either. It's just again a matter of perspective. I can see both sides, even though I choose to not cry in front of my child.
@Kementari (138)
• Canada
15 Apr 13
To be honest, when I was little, I never wondered why people (adults) didn't cry, I just knew that when they were crying that there was something wrong. What I did find though was that when an adult was crying I would be tuned into it, I could immediately pick up whether someone was sad or had been crying, it was almost like I just knew... just was able to tap into their emotions even if they didn't show them or didn't want me to see.
What I did find interesting was that my step dad never cried, and when he did... it shocked me.. it made me feel horrible. It hit home so-to-speak because he only ever cried in front of me twice.
As I got older I often cried, whether it be about sad things, or when I got hurt (emotionally), but I would never want any one to see me cry. This was because I was told that crying made you weak. I often found that other people would step away from me if they knew that I saw them crying, I guess it was because they didn't want me to tell any one.
Now as an adult, I do cry when I hurt. But I often find myself within anger first before crying. I often lash out in pain... and once that has been done I feel empty, and so I cry. I still don't like people seeing me cry, but I don't think it is because I don't want to be viewed as weak any more, but more so because I don't like people seeing my face when I cry. I like privacy.
I do get teary eyed during movies, but this is rare.
@sissy15 (12269)
• United States
15 Apr 13
I can't remember my parents ever crying around me as a kid. They were both pretty good about hiding their emotions. I have never to this day seen my dad cry. I see my mom cry on occasion. I especially see her tear up during movies and TV shows. She also cried when I made her a slide show for mothers day. I usually get angry crying too. Depending on the situation of course. I think I cry more since I had my son than I ever did before that. It has really changed my emotions. Before I had my son I almost never cried. It took a lot for a TV show or movie to make me cry. Now not so much. I can't tell you why I don't like others to see me cry. I just don't. There is only one person I will really cry in front of and that is my boyfriend. He usually wears his emotions on his sleeve. I have never been like that. At least not since I've been older.
