Should we leave them alone?.

@allknowing (56777)
India
April 15, 2013 9:24am CST
If I am upset, I prefer to be alone with my thoughts. But society thinks differently. Take for example if there is a death in the family that get together after the funeral rites is to my mind not called for. These days it is almost like a celebration with a 7 course dinner, drinks flowing. What do you think of this? How do you handle your sadness? Do you prefer to be left alone?
3 people like this
10 responses
@dawnald (84157)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Apr 13
I think it's good to get people together and celebrate the person's life. But conversely, I do prefer to be alone when I'm sad.
@allknowing (56777)
• India
16 Apr 13
When you say you would prefer to be left alone then those celebrations would rob you of that.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84157)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Apr 13
I may want to be alone,but I can also recognize that being around people may be good forme.
@allknowing (56777)
• India
16 Apr 13
These dinners which used to be quiet affairs are no longer so and with that type of environment I doubt you would be comfortable.
1 person likes this
@pals101 (2011)
• Philippines
16 Apr 13
When I am sad or upset. (as of the moment I am) I take a moment of quiet and peaceful place. There I pray and had some realization about the situation or the problem. Sometimes I read quotes to inspire me and ask some advises from trusted friends.
@allknowing (56777)
• India
16 Apr 13
What confuses me is how can mourners enjoy that kind of spread!
@Frederick42 (2020)
• Canada
28 Apr 13
All people are not the same. Some of us prefer to be alone when upset. But for some, being alone is the last thing preferred. These are the people who need to share their misery with somebody. It is essential that they talk about their hurt to an understanding person. It is essential that they talk about and analyze the hurt. But the problem with society is that if you are upset and you sit alone, society does not like it. The members of the society will jump on you and they will tell you that you need to talk about it; that you should not keep your upset thoughts in your heart. They will never understand that your nature is such that you prefer to be alone when upset.
@allknowing (56777)
• India
28 Apr 13
You have analysed the situation well. But what about you?
@RAJASB (109)
• India
27 Apr 13
It depends on the reason for your sadness. I usually don't get sad, if in case if i get sad,i try to find out the reason for it and find the solution too and tell my self everything will be fine. I take up an activity or try to mingle with people when i am sad.
@allknowing (56777)
• India
27 Apr 13
I agree with you, If one is upset they should be left alone as they alone know the entire reason why they are in that state.
@Angelpink (4023)
• Philippines
16 Apr 13
When Dad left us , i felt i need the comfort of all my relatives and dad's friends. Seeing them like i am assured that life can still be better. Their presence alone can comfort us . Sometimes i even verbalizes what was inside so pain would be lighter.Each of us have different ways in coping.
@zhouly (3)
• Philippines
16 Apr 13
When my grandmom passed away, I preferred to be alone for a while, but, when i'm with my family, grieving together, it is much less painful!
@allknowing (56777)
• India
16 Apr 13
Having your family around can really help ease the situation.
• Indonesia
16 Apr 13
me too. i'm prefer to be alone. cause sometimes i can think clearly if i'm alone. and i can express all of my sadness without have to blame someone. i always think of what make me sad, why i'm sad, what i have done is right or wrong? i ask my self, and find the good way. that's how i handle my sadness, but sometimes, if i can't prevent my sadness, i always mad with someone that have nothing to do with problem. so when i was sad, i'd better go to hide before it can take a victim,,, hehehe
@emily7339 (1340)
• Malaysia
16 Apr 13
Probably it depends on individual how one handles matter especially grief of love one passing. It is hard though . My brother was in grief since his wife past away last May 2012. No amount of our help could get rid of his grieving. However, we continue to be with him and give him emotional support. At last he is free from this bondage after 11 months. we are glad for him and he is able to lead a normal cheerful life now .
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
15 Apr 13
Times have changed, indeed. Today, instead of feeling sad and full of sorrow,people would rather be reminded of all the wonderful things that has happened to a deceased person. People would rather remember the deceased in his happiest state than think that the deceased relative or friend is no longer with us.
@allknowing (56777)
• India
16 Apr 13
Does time dictate how one feels jenny? I think feelings are individualistic. How can society dictate what is and what is not. No norm should laid down how one accepts a loss.
@whittby (3073)
• United States
15 Apr 13
I recently had a close relative pass away. She was so miserable and uncomfortable and never ever happy the last few years of her life. The family sentiment was we all hoped she was at peace now. How can you celebrate life in such a circumstance? There was just a nice service and a small dinner get together after. Conversely, a life lived to the fullest could be celebrated. While there would be sadness to deal with obviously, I think the life should be applauded accordingly. As far as my own sadness, I prefer to be alone to deal with it. If I am in public and someone is upset and crying, I probably will be right there with them with the tears flowing. When I am alone, I can reflect, shed a few tears possibly, but they are my own emotions not my reflection of another's sadness. Make sense?