I bared it all

@dorannmwin (36696)
United States
April 16, 2013 12:02am CST
The other day I had the opportunity to spend nearly eight hours with one of my closest friends, ironically my closest friend that is a male and whom I love very much (meaning as much as I love my husband but only in a different way). Now we've had several times to talk with each other but this was the first time that we've had the opportunity to talk the way that we did. I let him know that I do love him and that I hope that he will never take advantage of that fact. I also shared with him all of the fears that I have for my life and everything like that. I haven't been able to do this since I was a lot younger than I am now because of some of the hurt that I've been through in my life and I definitely have to say that it made me feel a lot better. Talking with him the way that I did was probably one of the best things that has happened to me in at least the last two years of my life. I know now that I won't be alone again in my life and I also know that I'll always have someone that is fighting on my side.
2 people like this
12 responses
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
17 Apr 13
What a wonderful part of your life to have a friend that you can bare your soul to and who stands beside you....they are few and far between.
@dorannmwin (36696)
• United States
19 Apr 13
There are very few friends that I've ever been that comfortable with. I'm very lucky to have the great friends that I have.
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
19 Apr 13
I'm my own best friend! (seems funny you know, but it really is so! I'm my own best friend!) If you can't trust yourself who can you trust?
@katsmeow1213 (28940)
• United States
17 Apr 13
That's nice for you!
@dorannmwin (36696)
• United States
19 Apr 13
It really was great for me. It's been over a week now and I'm still not experiencing those high levels of depression that I had before our long talk.
@ShyBear88 (16898)
• United States
17 Apr 13
That's good you have him as that kind of friend where you can tell him things and make ourself feel better. Carrying all that stuff can be stressful. My husband is this kind of person I always have him on my side and stuff.
@dorannmwin (36696)
• United States
19 Apr 13
My husband used to be that person for me. However, given everything that he's been through in the last two years there are just some things that I really can't talk to him about.
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
16 Apr 13
Either figuratively or literally my response can be relevant to your discussion. In other words never give it all away, without holding something in reserve for a rainy day. But on the other hand if it made you happy what else could you desire?
@dorannmwin (36696)
• United States
19 Apr 13
That is true because bearing our souls and baring our bodies are both giving away everything that we have to offer.
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
16 Apr 13
The trouble with 'baring it all' is, what do you do for an encore? Wouldn't it have been safer to just undo a couple of buttons on your blouse to prove that you had something to bare, while keeping the goodies hidden? Now that he has seen the goodies, odds are that he's going to be looking for something bigger and better! So from here on in your only option is to use what he has seen to the best of your ability, and hope that you can keep him interested!
@dorannmwin (36696)
• United States
16 Apr 13
LOL. I didn't mean that I literally bared it all, I meant that I figuratively bared it all as in those things that are going on in my mind that I've not had anyone to talk to. We talked about things now and things in the past and we even talked about the future.
@much2say (35425)
• United States
16 Apr 13
It's nice when you can finally "unload" your mind with a friend whom you can trust. The only person whom I've ever felt I could "bare it all" to is my hubby. I have had some friends who were close to being that "close" friend (both female and male) - but I've always kept that side of me to myself - and thank goodness because these friends turned out to be not trustworthy afterall. And even though I say I can tell my hubby everything, there are still parts of me that remain locked within, with the key thrown away . . . I suppose it goes with me to the grave!!
@dorannmwin (36696)
• United States
16 Apr 13
I wish that I was able to bare it all with my husband but we've been through things that makes me hesitant to talk to him about everything and a big part of it is because of the fact that we've had problems within our marriage and his problems.
@cynthiann (18637)
• Jamaica
16 Apr 13
I am a lot older than you so perhaps this is why I can see danger written all over this post. The danger is that yhou begin to romanticise about it so it is no longer on the platonic level. The danger is that what you shared with him should be shared with your husband. The danger is using him as a substitute for the expectations that you are not getting from your husband. The danger is having a friendship with a male that is subconsciously in competition with yu husband. Believe me. I say this with all sincerity and friendship because I know you through your posts to be a good women and mother - but you are playing with fire. Take care and please don't be angry with me as I speak with onoy good things and friendship in my heart
@dorannmwin (36696)
• United States
16 Apr 13
Oh of course I'm not going to be angry with you because I do think that you might be partially correct in what you are saying. In fact, that is part of the reason that I've not talked to him since that day. That said, I have always been the kind of girl that really doesn't get along with other girls because of the fact that there is far too much drama when it comes to dealing with females of my own age.
@cherigucchi (3961)
• Philippines
16 Apr 13
You are quite lucky to have a male friend like that whom you can bare it all. I think it is good that we keep one like that because it is still different when we open up to a male friend than to our girl friends which we normally do. I have a guy friend also but though i like us to be friends like that it is difficult because we had our past and its more difficult for him for us to stay good friends because according to him it is not that easy for him to think about what might have been. I had given up on the idea that we can become good friends anymore because of the complications he used to put in the situation.
@dorannmwin (36696)
• United States
16 Apr 13
My best male friend and I have a past as well. However, we both realize that we should never think about what might have been because if it wasn't for the way that our lives diverged, we wouldn't have many of the things that we have today. For example, I wouldn't have my daughter and my son and he wouldn't have had his two daughters and three sons.
@thesids (22453)
• Bhubaneswar, India
16 Apr 13
You know, in the real life, we all do need to have some special person with whom we can share our problems - sometimes the problems are such that they cannot be shared with anyone within the family. You seem to be a lucky person who has a great friend with whom you could share some of your problems. I know, how great the feeling would have been and after sharing you would have felt so light and contended.
@dorannmwin (36696)
• United States
16 Apr 13
I consider myself to be very lucky that he is a part of my life. There was a time that he wasn't a part of my life and looking back now, I really don't see how I was able to get through those years because I didn't have someone that I could talk to.
@4ofmyown (1120)
• United States
28 Apr 13
That is awesome...I am glad for you that you have the feeling of security in your life!
@Rick1950 (1481)
• Peru
19 Apr 13
Well, if you feel you have a friend who can stay at your side on good and bad times, it is good. Life is better when you have friends to share, to talk and to help each other when necessary.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
19 Apr 13
That's really great! I think a lot of us, just need somebody we could talk to openly. Without any judgements, and just be accepted for who we are. I think if everybody had somebody like this, we would cure more than half the depression or emotional roller coaster ride that people go into.