He was cornered and the girl got pregnant

@bingskee (5237)
Philippines
April 18, 2013 7:50am CST
I just learned the other day that a friend had her sad story to tell. She had a boyfriend for years and then one day the boyfriend came and told her he was cornered by a girl and he got her pregnant. He further told her that he does not love the girl and didn't intend to marry her because it was my friend that he loves. My friend said that she rejected his offer of continuing their relationship which means abandoning the girl with her baby. She said she can't take the guilt of a baby losing a father. She was in pain that time, she admitted, and it took long before she was able to move on. Like her, I will not allow him to leave the girl he had gotten pregnant and go back to me. It would be very unfair plus it would be very hard for me to trust him again. Would you go on with the relationship if you were in my friend's shoes?
3 people like this
13 responses
@blackrusty (3530)
• Mexico
18 Apr 13
well that is sad to say first and while what i understand is he was cornered and he sleep with some girl well he still had the right of free mind not to pull his pants down if he does not be with the girl and the baby I hope that he will do the right thing and pay for support of the child
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
i am not aware of what the whole situation is now except that he left the girl and the baby. as to the support, i am also not aware about it.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
18 Apr 13
Dear Ms Bingskee On the practical sides, leaving the boyfriend is neither going to ensure that he is allowed to take care of the baby nor is it going to indicate that the two are going to get married to even think about staying together for the sake of the baby - because there is no love involved only a physical attraction which too is doubtful in such cases. So practically, your friends decision to leave her longtime boyfriend just for a one night stand is baseless. Instead, she and her boyfriend could try to get the custody of the baby if possible to ensure that the baby had a father and a mom too (if that was what was the main reason). But this love, is not guided by practicalities instead it is more guided by possessiveness, ego and many other things. So in such scenarios, I would say that your friend did the right thing by dumping off the boyfriend just because he was cheating on her. A twist to my response on the second paragraph could have been possible if the boy had done this prior to meeting the friend of yours.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
18 Apr 13
Whose 'ego' are you talking about here Sid? 'Possessive 'indeed!!!!!!!!
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
hi, thesids! the trust aspect could definitely be ruined, if not diminished with what had happened. besides, the girl will definitely disagree giving out the baby, and with her intention of keeping the guy for her. i don't think that my friend was egoistic, if that is what you imply, by not consenting to the idea of continuing the relationship despite of what had happened. any woman will be hurt not because her ego was slighted but because her trust was betrayed.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
20 Apr 13
Love as mentioned in the texts of ancient times, makes me believe - True love is selfless - and as such, I mentioned the ego thing on my discussion. Ego from anyside, be it your friend or the guy or even the one who bears the child. The trust is broken no doubt. But where from the trust came? It is just the belief and expectation of the people in love - that the other one involved will not cheat upon him or her. I think the guy did cheat but had the guts to admit that. Wasnt that a big reason to consider? I mean, if the guy wanted, he could have never told the gurl about this "cornered" thing and continued on... and maybe your friend would have never known until too late... Despite this, he came up to tell the story - that is where ego stands - from the guys point it might be something to boast of or maybe from the friends point - What? You Cheated on Me? I will never be with you! If I look at it from another angle, I see, some truth involved from the guy's side and knowing that, I might have tried and given him one more change to prove hs loyalty towards me - by the approach - I mentioned on my first response - like maybe trying to get the baby for us.
• Philippines
20 Apr 13
Your friend has a good heart. Good heart will be rewarded someday by our God. Maybe he is not the one for her. And if he can do it while they are still not married, I think he can still do it when they got married. So i commend your friend for that. As for i would do exactly what your friend has done.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
when he did it, it was clear that the guy was not meant for her. probably the reason why my friend did not pursue the relationship.
@rog0322 (2834)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
20 Apr 13
Hi, I don't believe the guy was "cornered" for he could have done all the necessary move to get out of the situation. In the first place, he made it there out of his own, nobody told him to be with the girl and why did he was with her when he already has a commitment? It just show how foolish that man is, taking two at a time without thinking about the consequences.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
21 Apr 13
that's right! what was he doing with the girl in the first place? add to that, got the girl pregnant. a two-timer indeed.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
19 Apr 13
"cornered" by a girl. What the heck does that mean? I've been 'cornered' by a girl, and I said "no", and that was the end of that. Ditch that jerk. If you marry him, he'll just cheat on her, and say "I got cornered again".
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
20 Apr 13
hi, andy. explanation about the word cornered can be found in my response to dawnald's comment. exactly what i think. it would be very easy to say 'i got cornered again' when something like this happens again.
• Jacksonville, Florida
19 Apr 13
Bottom line is he cheated and got caught. And most likely he would do it again if she stuck around for it. I personally think she did the right thing by getting away from him. I have told my husband several times if he cheats on me we are done, regardless of what excuse he has... Cheating is one thing I will not stand for! I would have major trust issues that I do not think time would ever heal.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
i think i have made it clear with my hubby, too, that we're done once he cheated on me.
@gloryacam (5546)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
Cornered?! Such a lame excuse. Fact is, he cheated on her and got the other girl pregnant. If I were in your friend's shoes, I would back out on that relationship, too. What if, in the future he would get "cornered" again?
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
truly, truly lame excuse.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
18 Apr 13
What is this 'cornered' business? Is it something like in films where the man is drunk and out of his wits? Even in films I cannot forgive such callousness. I don't believe the boy; .What sort of love is that which is unable to gain control over self when there is a girl waiting behind faithfully? Your friend did a good thing by leaving him; I feel your friend is a better 'catch' and that is why the 'smart' boy has got 'enlightenment under a Peepul tree' suddenly.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
that could be one of the situations but my friend did not elaborate how it happened. the fact that he was with another girl and got her pregnant is unbearable.
• United States
18 Apr 13
He does not have to be with her just because she got pregnant. The man can still be an active father without being with the mother. that is crazy to leave someone for that. now I would leave because he cheated on me. That would be the only reason I could see myself leaving him.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
here in our country, there is a big possibility not being able to get out of the situation especially if the relatives or the elders meddle with it. i would leave, too, if i was in that situation.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Apr 13
"cornered"? What does that mean exactly? It depends on the circumstances. If it all happened before I got involved with the guy, it is different than if he was messing around on me.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
hi. dawnald. actually it was my interpretation for the Tagalog word 'pikot'. cornered in a sense that the guy has no choice but to accept a situation with a girl. it comes in many forms here, one of which is when a girl/woman was with a boy/man and she plans to entice him by hugging and/or kissing him, and a relative (a father, a mother, or a brother, or whoever) suddenly shows up and demands marriage. what is hurting, and unbelievable, too, with my friend's situation is, the girl got pregnant. it was really difficult to visualize that he was just 'cornered' or forced to do it.
@amundy8 (58)
18 Apr 13
No way..a person like that can't be trusted. It would be very unfair to leave a pregnant girl w/ your child to go back to a relationship that he betrayed. No one deserves to be treated that way and he doesn't deserve either relationship, except to care for the baby. If she decided to leave him alone, then she made the right choice.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Apr 13
i have to say that my friend made the right choice.
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
I guess, I don't have that trust anymore. I might get hurt so bad but I'll give him the chance perhaps. If I will love that person that much, I will not allow him to go and leave me. I will still accept and forgive him but once is enough only. I know its very hard for the both of us but I think that is one only of those challenges in a love story.
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
Just like the two of you, I wouldn't continue with that kind of set up. First, if he truly loves you, he wouldn't dare touch nor look at any other girl. Second, he should be man enough to accept the responsibility. It is sad but hey, she will surely find someone better than that guy.